SURPRISE! MERRY CHRISTMAS! I know I said double-update at New Year's, but we are now up to 105 reviews for this story, so since all you guys/gals gave me over 100, I tried as hard as I could to get this done, and it worked, so this is my holiday present to you. And as a New Year's gift, I'll give you the Unexplained shorts. Anyway, it's shout-out time!
Fantasy Female Freak- Thanks for your review! I'm glad you're starting to like Willex more, and you know how Willow is; she wouldn't stay with a guy if he was a jerk-wad to her. And yeah, she is the girl in my profile, only more Falls-i-fied (does that make sense? I hope it does) and different clothes. I have a little sister, and my dad's tenants need a baby-sister a lot, so I know how it is.
gamelover41592- Thanks for your review! It was one of my favorite's too, and I think the Mason thing is just people have been calling him Dipper so long, he considers himself to be a Dipper instead of a Mason. Mabel forgetting things was mostly for plot purposes.
Caster- I know it was off, and I feel bad about it; my laptop got messed up, so I had to A) start over part way through, and B) rewrite it on an old computer without spell check. I know that's no excuse, but now that my laptop is fixed, I'll be going through and adjusting some of the events. And I know I could have elaborated more in some areas, but parts were intentional. I figured that since they had never been in such a serious life-or-death situation before, their perception of events would be kind of messed up. I hope this makes sense, and expect some adjustments over the next few weeks.
Maximal7x13- That's so cool! Believe it or not, Kristen Schaal and I share a birthday, and a cousin of mine was born on June 18th. Yes, though! Thanks for your review!
Miss Tri- Yeah, I know; execution wasn't the best. I had some technical issues, so had to kind of rush to finish and get the chapter up on time, but I'll be going back over a lot of it and fixing some things over the next few weeks. If you want a longer explanation, look at the response for Caster; I went into more detail up there. But Willow feeling weird about the blood thing; remember, 'Mabel' was injured at that point, so it was a reminder of what had happened before they met up with each other. Anyway, thanks for your review!
Esygo- At first, the shapeshifters didn't want them there to protect themselves and their secret. But once they were in, the shapeshifters couldn't let them leave and tell people they existed. Hopefully that cleared things up. Thanks for your review!
TheGreatFaller- Thanks for your review! I'm still working out the kinks in that one, especially with the whole laptop thing, but I think you will like what I do with everything.
Penelope flower- Thanks for your review! And the user name you had before this was bae!
Disclaimer: I only own Willow and her craziness. Everything else came from the mind of Alex Hirsch.
Willow's POV (July 19th)
"Hey kid. What do you want for breakfast?" Grunkle Stan asked me as I walked to the fridge to grab some Mabel Juice. That girl may be crazy, but she always keeps a pitcher full in the fridge, and it gives you the energy levels of the Chipmunks on a coffee high.
"Electric wires and circuit boards," I replied, taking the glass into the living room with me. Dipper was watching Gulliver's Travels and eating some cereal. Waddles was on the ground by his feet, his face in the cereal box. I took the box off his head and grabbed a handful, eating it dry.
"How the laptop coming?" Dipper asked me as I flopped on the couch next to him. After yesterday's Shapeshifter incident, I had started to work on an ANCIENT laptop Soos had found.
"Considering the fact that that thing is almost as old as Star Wars, I would say not too bad. I'm going to have to go into town later to get some wiring and things, and maybe go to the library to research some stuff, but I would say another two, maybe three days? It'll depend on how much craziness we get into."
"Sounds cool. But the guy we thought was the Author yesterday, I swear, he sounded JUST like Luke Skywalker!"
"Okay, no more Star Wars marathons for you." All six had been on the other day; it had taken us a good ten minutes to explain the prequels and how they were connected to the originals to Grunkle Stan. And then we hear that if the deal went through, more movies could be made… we were already theorizing. I don't think this town had gotten to us yet.
"Seriously, though. Did you ever figure out how he was able to pull off the whole Baron-with-six-fingers thing?" We had filled each other in on what we had missed. I really didn't blame Dipper; I would have believed it too. But he had been trying to figure out how the Shifter had managed to pull it off.
"I was thinking that it was kind of the same concept like when it turned into a hybrid of us. But I think the real question is why didn't it take the form of the real Author? The journal doesn't say anything about Shapeshifters, even in black-light, but it seems like something that wouldn't get left out."
"You think maybe the Author ripped out the pages?"
"Maybe, but why would-" Grunkle Stan came in then, cutting Dipper off, a frying pan in his hand.
"Anybody want Stan-cakes? They're like pancakes, but they probably have some of my hair in 'em."
"PASS!" Dipper yelled, while I pretended to gag. Grunkle Stan nodded and tossed the whole thing into the trash can. He went to go back into the kitchen, but was almost run over by Mabel, who came flying into the room, today's newspaper in her hands.
"It's here! It's here! It's here! I've been waiting all morning and it's finally here!" She yelled, running around like she had just had a shot of Mabel Juice. "The Gravity Falls Gossiper accepted my article about summer fashion tips for squirrels! My picture is gonna be in the newspaper! Check it!" She turned the paper towards us, showing the headline.
"'PACIFCA NORTHWEST DECLARES V-NECKS THE LOOK OF THE SEASON!'" Grunkle Stan read, scratching his head confusedly. "What am I looking at here?"
"Looks like someone bought their way to the front page," Dipper commented.
"Why does Pacifica always have to ruin everything?" Mabel asked, tossing the paper in the trash and taking the glass from me.
"Cheer up Mabes. No one even reads newspapers anymore," I told her, just before Soos ran into the room, a t-shirt and a copy of the newspaper in his hands.
"Dudes! V-neck season is upon us! Who wants to help my get ahead of the fashion curve? I'm taking it one step further; with a W-neck!" He drew a W below the collar of the shirt, then pulled out a pair of scissors and started cutting it out, muttering to himself. Mabel sat down at the table and drained the Mabel Juice, the normal side-effects not happening this time.
"I need something to take my mind off this," she mumbled.
"Looking for a distraction from your horrible life?" Mabel perked up as we all turned to look at the TV, Dipper turning the volume up. "Victory, honor, destiny, mutton! These old-timey sounding words are alive and well at the Gravity Falls Royal Discount Putt Hutt! No mutton available at the snack shop."
"Mabel, you love mini-golf! You've been amazing at it since we were kids!"
"Technically, we're still kids, but he's not wrong. It's been a stressful few days. I think we could all use a break."
"Would kicking all our butts at mini-golf cheer you up?" Stan asked her. She smiled a bit, excitement gleaming in her eyes.
"Maybe a little." We all stood up and walked out of the house, chanting "VICTORY, HONOR, DESTINY, MUTTON!" over and over. As much as I wanted to get the laptop done, there's a limit on how long you can work on something before your brain shuts down completely. And I've learned that in this town, simple things can turn into chaos in a heartbeat. Some mindless fun, followed by Gravity Falls craziness would help a lot.
Mabel's POV
"Ahh, mini golf! The sport of mini champions!" I said as we walked onto the golf course. I had seen a lot in my lifetime, and this was one of the best. The main theme of this one was royalty, but the holes were all different. There were the standards; pirate ship, wind mill, Eiffel Tower. But there were also odd ones that even I hadn't seen before; Big Ben, a shoe (from the nursery rhyme), and a palm tree. But the best was the bonus hole. It was a giant volcano, with two of those giant stone head things on either side. And it actually exploded when you got the ball in!
Dipper went first, overthinking things as always. "Focus… focus…" he muttered, taking some practice swings. He adjusted his stance and swung the club back and forth, missing the ball completely. The wind blew it sideways off the course, right into a pond.
"Don't worry bro! You're still 'Ext-ROAR-dinary!'" I told him, putting a dinosaur sticker on his cheek before stepping up to hit. "Do the hip wiggle, and…!" I swung hard, knocking the ball around all the obstacles and into the dinosaur's mouth. It came out the other end and hit Old Man McGucket, who, for some reason, was sleeping on the green, before rolling back into the hole.
"Holy smokes! Someone in our family actually has talent!" Grunkle Stan said, excitement in his face.
"Grunkle Stan, you ain't seen nothing yet!" Willow told him. Before I knew it, I was on hole 18, a crowd of people watching me. 18 was the windmill, normally easy, but there were three holes for the ball to come out of, and no way of controlling which one it would come out of. But if this worked, then I would break my personal record.
You can do it, Mabel! I told myself. Pretend the ball is Pacifica's face! I swung. The ball rolled up the hill and through one side of the windmill. We all ran over to the hole. The ball came out of the middle slot, aiming right for the hole. But instead of going in, it rolled around the lip and straight into a puddle.
"Aw nuts!" I yelled, throwing my club on the ground, the crowd leaving. Grunkle Stan patted my shoulder and picked the ball up.
"Don't worry about it kiddo. The thing's random! As far as I'm concerned, you're still better than anyone else in Gravity-" A purple ball came through the slot, going straight into the hole.
"Would you look at that? I didn't know it was hobos golf free day!" A familiar and unwelcome voice called to us.
"Pacifica!" I growled, turning around to face the blonde. She and her parents were dressed up in fancy V-necks, the letters NW stitched on in fancy lettering.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't the Pines family," she said, pointing to Soos, Grunkle Stan, Willow, Dipper, and me. "Fat, old, psycho, lame, braces!"
"Soos, would it be wrong to punch a child?" Grunkle Stan asked, rolling his sleeve up.
"I got this," Dipper told us. "Hey Pacifica! How's that whole 'You're family being frauds' thing working out for you?" That was a fun day. I hope Quentin is okay. Instead of getting mad, Pacifica started laughing.
"Great actually! The thing about money? It makes problems go away!" She told us, studying her nails.
"It can't buy you skill! You walked into the game of a mini-golf champion!" That just made her laugh harder.
"Sergei!" She called, snapping her fingers. A man in a red V-neck, yellow/gold shorts and a matching sweatband on his head walked out from behind the Northwest family. "This is Sergei, my trainer!"
"The Sport-lympics had mini-golf once. I took gold!" He announced, pulling his shirt down to reveal a gold medal with a putter on it.
"So if you don't mind moving out of the way of the professionals!" She walked over to the bonus hole, causing the volcano to explode. "Enjoy second place!" She called over her shoulder, starting to walk away. "Give her a hand folks!" I didn't even realize that the crowd from earlier had come back. They all started clapping one of those weird slow-claps. I don't know what it was exactly, but something about seeing Pacifica being able to do anything she wanted with her family's money… I just snapped.
"I want a rematch you… YOU WALKING ONE-DIMENSIONAL BLEACHED BLONDE VALLEY GIRL STEREOTYPE!" I yelled after her. The crowd gasped and she turned around angrily.
"Like, let's do this!" She said, us marching up to each other. Even the weather was getting in on this; clouds moved in and thunder rang out. Honking from the other side of the course made everyone turn.
"Hear ye! Hear ye! Honk! Honk!" One of my ex-crushes, the Mattress King, came riding up in a golf cart, slamming into a post a few times before moving around it, one of the wing decorations falling off. "Stop at once! The park is now closed due to weather! The King of Mini-Golf has spoken!" He tried to back up but slammed into the post again, knocking the cart on its side. I couldn't believe I had ever had a crush on him.
"This isn't over!" Pacifica yelled, poking me in the chest. "You, me, ten o-clock! We'll see who's best!"
"I'll be here!" I promised, rain starting to come down. Pacifica and her parents pulled out umbrellas and walked away, Sergei chasing after them. "I'll be here," I said again, before spitting out strands of hair that had gotten in my mouth from the rain.
GFF
"Time to scratch mini-golf off my talents list," I said into the table. The rain had come fast and hard, so instead of risking heading back home and getting flooded in, we had just gone to a Mexican restaurant that was across the street from the course. Our table was filled with nachos and wires Willow had gotten from McGucket.
I couldn't believe Pacifica had gotten the best of me again! She probably didn't even like mini-golf! She just wanted to show how powerful she was with her family's money. I learned mini-golf from practicing by myself on self-made courses. Pacifica probably had an entire course set up in her family's mansion, and, of course, there was that Russian guy Sergei, who probably trained with her exclusively every day. Then there was also the fact that-
"Mabel, think of it this way. If you beat her tonight, she can never rag on you again!" I stopped thinking about Pacifica and her family and started thinking about what that would be like. In short, that would be AMAZING! I smiled and stood on the table.
"You're right guys. I just need to practice a little more before tonight."
"Going to the golf course after dark you say?" Grunkle Stan asked, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I don't know… we'd have to break in and- Just kidding; let's break in!"
As soon as the rain stopped, we went over to the course. Soos stood guard while Grunkle Stan pulled nails out of the fence for us to crawl through. Dipper and Willow went through, me handing my sticker book to Grunkle Stan before bending down to follow them.
"Hey, Mabel?" I turned around and looked up at him. He peeled a sticker off and put it on my sweater. It was a trophy that said U DA BEST on it. "Knock her dead, kid." I gave him a thumbs-up and crawled through the fence. Dipper and Willow were waiting for me on the other side, a bucket of golf balls in Dipper's hands.
Since Pacifica had been getting Olympic-level training for who-knows-how-long, I knew it was going to come down to getting hole-in-ones on EVERY hole. For the most part, I was able to figure it out, but that dumb windmill would never work! EVERY TIME I tried it, the ball didn't go in! I sighed and gathered myself for the 20th attempt. Just like the last 20 times, the ball missed.
"Poop heck darn!" I yelled, slamming my club on the ground. What was wrong with this hole? I sighed and went over to the other side, getting down low so I could see if the hole was slanted or on a rise or something. It looked fine to me. If anything, it was lower than the rest of the course. I glanced over to where Dipper and Willow were both studying the windmill.
"…control where it comes out of?" Dipper was saying, Willow shaking her head.
"Even if we could, we would still have to- Did you hear that?" Willow put her ear on the metal covering, blocking her other ear with her finger.
"It's probably just the windmill mechanism," Dipper told her, but she shook her head and grabbed two golf clubs.
"I SWEAR I heard voices in there," she told us, handing Dipper a club. Her hearing had always been better than ours, so even if it sounded like she was trying to creep us out, we trusted her. Dipper and I held up our clubs as Willow pulled the metal cover back. What was under there was one of the more… unique things we've seen up here.
It looked like an entire town had been set up. Walking around were golf balls with legs and clothes, minding their own business. All at once, they looked up and noticed us. We all screamed, the… them pulling out golf pencils to use as weapons. I guess that made us realize how tiny they were, because we lowered our clubs and stopped screaming. One of them, a blue one with blonde hair, stepped out of the crowd, looking up at us.
"We good?" He asked us. We all held up our hands, showing that we had dropped our clubs. The others put their pencil-weapons away. "All righty then. Um, I'm Franz, and… welcome to our home!"
"So… are you guys like tiny humans, or something?" I asked them, still unclear on what was happening. Franz laughed.
"Something. We're Lilli-PUT-tians! Or Lilli… it makes more sense written down than spoken. Anyway, we control the balls! Behold!" A golf ball came in through the front side of the windmill, following an overcomplicated path to the bottom, where it rolled out of the center 'tube' and straight into the hole.
"That's incredible!" I told them excitedly.
"And so needlessly complicated!" Dipper added, although I think it was more out of politeness than anything. Now that we had figured out what was going on, I think we realized that this was probably (going to be) the least dangerous thing we'd see this summer.
"So what are you huge-lings doing here anyway?" Franz questioned. I wasn't sure I should tell them about Pacifica, but then I realized that there wasn't much they could do.
"I kind of have to play this golf tournament against my rival, Pacifica," I told them, causing them all to start muttering to each other.
"We know all about rivals," Franz told us, lights coming on behind us. We turned around and saw that the pirate Lilliputtians had heard us.
"Put a clog in it, ya windmill-lubbers!" A red Lilliputtian with a thick beard called over to us. Let's call him Jack. "These frilly bottom popinjays are terrible at controllin' the balls! We are the ball masters!" Jack yelled, before the Eiffel Tower hole lit up, a blue ball with a mustache and beret appearing to be in charge. We're calling him Jo-Jo.
"Shut your mouths, you show-boating pirates!" Jo-Jo yelled. "Everyone knows ze Eiffel Tower hole is ze best!"
"Stay you comments, ye churlish Frenchmen!" The Castle hole lit up, a red Lilliputtian with long hair dressed in armor called. His name is now Lance. "None control the balls better than the knights of..." Lance trailed off, noticing the graffiti that someone, probably Robbie, had put on the castle. "Wiener Castle? Who wrote this?"
"We'll settle which hole is best!" While we were distracted, Franz and his group had gathered at our feet, pencil-swords at the ready. "ATTACK!" All the groups charged towards each other, meeting in the middle of the course. Trust me, it sounds worse that it was; it wasn't like they could really do anything to each other except tear their clothes and make a mess. I don't know why, but we all started laughing at them.
"Guys, calm down!" I called, making them all break apart. "Your fighting is adorable!"
"Adorable we are hugeling, but our tale less so," Franz said, coming back up to us, his clothes torn, his eye black somehow. "Every hole in the park thinks they're superior. If only there was a way to decide which side is best."
"Franz, look!" Jo-Jo said, walking up and pointing at me. I glanced down and realized they were staring at the sticker Grunkle Stan had given me.
"The sticker could decide!" Franz said excitedly.
"It does say 'ze best' on it!" Jo-Jo added as Lance walked up to them, bending down on one knee and looking up at me.
"Decide for us hugeling! Choose which mini-kingdom to give the sticker to, and end our war!" All the other Lilliputtians cheered at that, but getting involved in something like this didn't seem like a good idea to me.
"Guys, I'm not sure I wanna get involved in…" Willow and Dipper pulled me aside, talking in whispers.
"Mabel, these guys control the course! Tell them that you'll give the sticker to whichever group helps us out more!" Dipper told me, but it still didn't seem right.
"Doesn't this seem like cheating?" I questioned.
"Pacifica's family is rich for no reason. She's cheating at life," Willow told me. I sighed, hating myself for deciding to do this, but after the thing with Quentin didn't work as well as we thought, Pacifica deserved to be taken down a few levels.
"People of the eighteen holes!" I announced formally, laying out the plan for them. "We're going to have a game of mini-gold! And whoever does the best job of helping me win, gets the sticker!"
"It'll be us, lass," Jack told me, pointing his sword at Franz. "Not these tulip-munchers!"
"I will not be insulted by a man with no depth perception wearing earrings!" Franz yelled. I calmed them down before another fight could break out.
"Now remember, as long as you're helping me, no fighting," I told them. They all nodded, but when I saw the look the leaders of each group gave each-other, I couldn't help be feeling that I was going to regret doing this.
GFF
"They just pulled up," Willow yelled, running up to us. The plan was simple; give me as many hole-in-ones as possible, prevent Pacifica from getting any, but don't make it seem obvious. I still felt bad about cheating, but Pacifica deserved it. "Lights are going out in three… two…" Willow killed the lights, sending the entire course into shadow.
"How much you wanna bet they're no-shows?" I heard Pacifica ask as the doors closed behind them. Willow hit another button, turning lights leading up to us on. I had to admit, I thought we looked pretty awesome.
"Looking for someone?" I asked, jumping off the rock I was standing on and walking over to her.
"Waiting in the dark… not creepy at all," she said lazily, taking her golf bag from Sergei as Willow tuned the rest of the lights back on. "Seriously though, unless you've got something up your sleeve, I don't know why you bothered to show up."
"I guess you could say we've got a little something, right?" I asked, nudging Dipper, one of the Lilliputtians slipping out of my sleeve. "NO!" I whisper-yelled, shoving him back into my sleeve. Pacifica gave us a weird look, but shrugged it off and went over to the first hole, me following behind her.
"Eighteen holes. Standard rules," Sergei told us, pulling an Olympic-style gun out of his pocket. "Winner lives in glory, loser wallows in eternal shame. On your mark, get set, MINI-GOLF!" He fired the gun into the air, starting the game.
I have to give those little guys credit; they really knew what they were doing. From the cowboys to the pirates to the knights, it was amazing seeing what they could do. And Pacifica's angry reactions to it were getting better by the minute. But the best by far was the miner hole.
Pacifica had gone first, the ball missing the hole by a few inches. Then I went, and I'll admit; I was scared there for a few seconds. I had seen how Franz and his group had their windmill set up, so I knew it would take longer than the course itself would appear to take. But it was almost a minute difference from when the ball entered and when it came out. But the look on Pacifica's face was SO worth it! She threw her club at Sergei, who caught it at the last second. "SERGEI! SODA! NOW!" She yelled, storming off, Sergei behind her. As soon they were out of earshot, the three of us bent down to talk to the miners.
"Okay, guys? That was bedonkulous!" I told them, holding my finger down for them to slap; it was the closest thing to a high-five we could do. "I don't wanna call it out early, but I think the miners have one of these in their future!" I told them, pointing at the sticker. They all started cheering and celebrating amongst themselves, so we left them to it.
"I can't wait to see the look on Pacifica's face when we win," Dipper said, looking up from the score card. "You know how she does that 'ugh' thing? I'm thinking it'll be one of those."
"I'd rather see her throw a tantrum," Willow said, looking at me. "She has like, no chance of winning now."
"That's great," I told them, glancing at where she and Sergei had disappeared to. They should have been back by now.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, um… just… Is it bad that I don't feel guilty about all of this?"
"Don't worry about it. Just enjoy your victory," Dipper told ne, going back to the score card. That was the problem; Was it really MY victory? "Pacifica will-"
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" We all jumped and looked towards the windmill. Franz and his friends were surrounding Pacifica, who they had tied to the ground, Gulliver's Travels-style. "What's going on? Who are you? Let me go!" She yelled, struggling against the ropes. I sighed and face-palmed; I had known this wasn't gonna end well, but THAT wasn't want I was expecting to happen.
"WHAT are you guys doing?"
"This wasn't part of the deal!" Dipper added.
"What deal?" Pacifica yelled at us, Franz coming over.
"So, we saw that you were favoring the miners, so we figured; What's better than beating Pacifica?" He blew a raspberry. "Killing her, right?"
"As if!" Pacifica yelled, glancing around. "I'm calling my parents! Where's my phone?"
"So how about it hugeling? Who's 'da best' now?" Franz asked before the pirate ship turned on.
"Not so fast ye land lubbers!" Jack yelled, poking his sword into the back or a now tied-up Sergei's leg. "If ye're gonna play dirty, so are we. Now give us the sticker or he walks the plank!"
"No! Give us ze sticker!" Jo-Jo yelled, him and all, and I mean ALL, of the other Lilliputtians coming over and shouting at me, yelling for the sticker. I've never been comfortable in large crowds, so this didn't help me at all. I snapped.
"ENOUGH!" I yelled, birds in the pond taking off. The Lilliputtians all gasped and froze, staring at me. Even Willow and Dipper looked at me stunned, but when I get mad, I get MAD, so nothing would stop me now. "No one gets the sticker!"
"Sacré booo!" Jo-Jo yelled, the others taking up the cry.
"No, no! No booing-stop, no! No one gets the sticker cuz you're all being jerks. Why can't you all just get along?" There was a beat of silence, then from the crowd someone yelled; "Because we hate each other."
"That's kind of how rivalries work, lass," Jack told me. I finally figured out what was going on here.
"Then maybe rivalries are dumb," I said, looking at Pacifica apologetically. She looked at me guiltily and I finally saw the girl behind the money and understood her better. "Maybe you don't settle them with petty competitions. Maybe the only way to be 'da best' is by ending the fighting and working together!" I pulled the sticker off my sweater and put it in my mouth, chewing and swallowing. Trust me; it's not the weirdest thing I've eaten. The Lilliputtians all gasped and started talking to each other.
"It's all so clear," Franz said, looking at the others. "If we work together…"
"Then we can cut her belly open and get the sticker!" Jack yelled, all of them pulling out pencils and charging towards me. Pacifica started screaming. I glanced back and saw that the windmill had started spinning crazily and she was moving up towards it.
"We gotta get out of here!" Dipper yelled, he and Willow running off, Willow pulling wires out of her pocket. They would figure out how we could get out of here; I had to save Pacifica. There was a string of lights leading to the windmill that was tied to a lamp post that was behind me. I put my club in my mouth (that didn't taste good) and climbed up the pole, then used the club as a trolley to zip along the wires over to Pacifica.
"Took you long enough!" Pacifica yelled as I started untying her. The Lilliputtians were good at making the ropes tight, but the knots weren't that strong, so it was comparatively easy. But Pacifica yelling at me wasn't helping. "Watch the earrings! They're worth more than that building you live in!" I sighed and stopped messing with the ropes.
"You know, on second thought, maybe I won't untie you." I was kidding of course; I didn't hate her THAT much. But it had the effect I was looking for.
"Untie me! Untie me!" She yelled, struggling against the ropes again.
"That's what I thought," I said, pulling the ropes off her and helping her stand up. "Oh no," I said, realizing that most of the Lilliputtians had surrounded us, pencil-swords at the ready. I glanced at Pacifica, then at a golf club by my feet, then back at her. "You ready to putt?"
"Let's do this," she said, smiling at me and holding her hand out. I stomped on the putter-end of the club, launching it into the air and right into Pacifica's hand. She spun it around like a baton, then held it up in driving position, and we attacked.
I'll admit it; we worked pretty well together. We were able to clear a path through the Lilliputtians just before Willow and Dipper pulled up in the golf cart. Dipper was driving, Willow in shotgun, and Sergei, dripping wet, was sitting on the back, leaving the middle row to me and Pacifica. Wires were hanging out of the key hole and the keys were nowhere to be seen.
"Since when do you know how to hotwire something?" Dipper asked Willow as we climbed into the cart.
"Not now!" She yelled at him, shoving the wires back into place. "Gun it!" Dipper floored the gas, driving us towards the doors. Pacifica, Willow and I kept the Lilliputtians and their weapons away from Dipper, who was driving crazily to avoid the Lilliputtians' tricks. I felt bad about what we were doing to the course, but those guys weren't holding back; somehow they were able to get AXES to swing in front of us.
"They're shutting us in!" Dipper yelled. I looked at the doors, which had started to close. A ripping sound came from about me. I looked up to see the Lilliputtians had landed on the roof of the golf cart and were now using their pencils to poke holes in the roof. I glanced back at the doors and noticed the bonus hole.
"I have an idea! Drive towards the volcano!" Dipper nodded and aimed towards the volcano as I climbed up the golf cart to look at the roof. Most of the Lilliputtians had gone; Franz was the only one left.
"Don't even think about it," he said threateningly. I glanced over at the volcano; five seconds. "You call yourself a golfer? Without us, that club is useless in your hands." Three seconds. I smiled up at him and got the club ready.
"What's ten minus six?" Two seconds. He looked confused for a second, thinking out loud. One second. I answered for him. "FORE!" I brought the club up and hit him into the bonus hole. The golf cart flew up a ramp as I sat back down, just in time. The volcano exploded and launched us into the air, pushing us out the doors just before they closed. Dipper hit the brakes and we slammed to a stop, the cart falling apart under us.
"Girls, you okay?" Dipper asked us, panting slightly. We all nodded and slowly climbed out of the now-trashed golf cart. We all jumped as something slammed into the doors behind us. There were pencil points sticky out of the doors, and the blade of an ax was visible. How they managed to throw that, I had no idea.
"Stay out you dumb huge-lings!" Franz yelled at us from the other side of the wall, golf balls starting to rain down on us.
"What did you say, you little trolls?" Pacifica yelled, marching up to the doors and hitting them with her club. "I will sue you! I will sue you, and I will OWN you!" She whirled on us, getting in my face. "You! I don't know what you did or what just happened, but if you think just because you saved my life I—"
I handed her a sticker with a cat on it that said 'I a-PAW-logize', making her stop yelling. "I'm sorry Pacifica. We shouldn't have cheated. You totally would have beaten me, fair and square." I saw the conflict in her eyes, and smiled to myself when she put the sticker on her shirt.
"You're just lucky this sticker looks fantastic on me," she stated lazily. I knew what that meant; we still had work to do, but we were getting there. A car honked behind us. We turned around and saw Grunkle Stan pulling up.
"You kids okay? You look like you just fought in The Gulf War," he said as we climbed into the car, Dipper in shot-gun, Willow and I in the back. I reached out to close my door and noticed that Pacifica was just standing around, looking at us. I glanced at my sibs, who both shook their heads.
"Hey!" I called, not caring what they thought; I was going to ride this train as long as possible. "Your parents aren't here. Want a ride home?"
"Please. As if I'd ever ride in-" Before she could finish refusing, lightning struck behind her and thunder rang out, rain starting to come down again. I moved over to the middle seat and beckoned Pacifica over. She made a show of not wanting to, but I could tell she was grateful that I had offered.
About halfway through the drive, I found two tacos hidden behind the seats under the back windshield. I started to eat one; fighting really makes you hungry. And tired. I couldn't wait to get back.
"You're allowed to eat in the car?" Pacifica asked me, glancing at the taco in my hand.
"You're not?" I guess it made sense; she was always being chauffeured around in limos and cars that were worth more than the town itself. "You want one?"
"I'm not supposed to take handouts," she refused. That was seriously how she lived every day?
"It's called sharing," I told her, a confused look on her face. "You do know what sharing is, right?"
"Sha- shaawing?"
"Just take it," I told her, shoving it in her hands. What had her parents done to her? Although when she tried it, it actually looked like she enjoyed it. People say that that fancy, rich-people food tastes good, but trust me; I would sooner date Gideon than eat some of that stuff.
Before we knew it, we were at the gate in front of the Northwest Mansion. "Thanks for the ride, or whatever," Pacifica told us as she got out of the car and walked up to the gate. Before she opened it, she glanced back at me. "And Mabel. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I had fun." She turned back around and started to open the gate as I moved back over and shut the door.
"So, are you two cool now?" Dipper asked me, turning around in his seat. I looked over and where Pacifica was standing and shrugged.
"I think we made some progress. The important thing to remember is that at the end of the day, she's just an ordinary kid like us." Just as I finished speaking, the gate swung open, revealing a GIANT garden in front of the mansion, fountains and peacocks everywhere. On top of the mansion was a giant, neon-pink sign that said CONGRATULATIONS PACIFICA! Fireworks started going off above the mansion.
"You should have charged her for that taco," Willow told me as we pulled away from the mansion.
"Agreed!" I responded, all of us laughing. Man, it felt good to laugh. The past week had been crazy, between everything with Bill and Gideon, then the zombies and the shapeshifters. This was one of the calmer days we've had recently, and I had a feeling that with everything else going on right now, especially once Willow got that laptop fixed, 'calm' days would be few and far between.
Wow, okay. Haven't done one of these in a while. So, anyway, umm… yeah. I was debating doing this one or not, but I figured that for character-development, it was important to be included. And like Mabel said; things are going to start getting really crazy coming up soon. Calm days will start to become a thing of the past. With the seriousness of season two compared to season one, these 'filler' episodes/chapters will be a nice pace break, because from here on out, every chapter; including the 'fillers' will have something important and plot-relevant in them. Anyway, the shorts will be posted at midnight New Year's Eve/Day. Until then, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!