CHAPTER 11

The next morning, which was Christmas Eve, Bella woke up to another crisp and cold day with blue skies and bright sunshine and decided to have a fry up for breakfast. But she was just about to start mopping up the last bit of baked bean sauce with her fried bread, when she thought she could hear a car approaching up the drive.

Wondering who it could possibly be so early in the morning, she headed for the hall in her dressing gown and slippers, then stood dumbfounded when the front door opened and Carlisle appeared, accompanied by a burly taxi driver who deposited Carlisle's bag just inside the doorway before driving off.

Bella stared at Carlisle. What on earth was going on? Even from where she was standing she could see he didn't look at all well. His face was grey and as he began walking towards her he staggered and almost fell. Rushing to grab hold of his arm in support, Bella helped him sit down on one of the hall chairs, then raised a questioning eyebrow.

'Carlisle, this is a lovely surprise, but what are you doing here and why have you been discharged so early? I thought the plan was for you to stay in hospital until after Christmas?'

Carlisle was struggling to get his breath back,' Couldn't stand being stuck in there any longer … discharged myself and got in a taxi.'

'Are you sure that was wise? You don't seem to be very well at all.' Bella was even more alarmed to hear him gasping for breath and unable to reply. 'How about if we get you somewhere more comfortable, then I ring the hospital?'

'No, no,' Carlisle was clearly distressed, 'please Bella, I've had enough of that place. If anything happens to me, I want to be here, at home.'

He looked at her so imploringly, her heart melted and she blinked back tears.

'Ok then, do you think with my help, you can get into the lift and upstairs? Your bed's already made up with fresh sheets at least.'

With quite a lot of help from Bella, Carlisle was able to get to his bedroom and once there, he said he felt much better and rather than lying down he insisted on sitting in a comfortable old armchair near the largest window, which looked out over the cliffs and the sea.

Once he was settled, Bella thought he did look slightly less exhausted. Luckily the radiator in Carlisle's bedroom worked better than some of the others in the house and the sunshine was adding a bit of extra warmth, so it wasn't too chilly up here. But just to make sure, Bella wrapped his dressing gown around his shoulders and put a rug over his knees and made him promise to let her know if he felt the least bit cold.

She brought a small table over and found his glasses and the books he was currently reading and a few other things he might need, then satisfied that he was comfortable, she went to make him a cup of tea. But the smile Carlisle gave her as she left the room was very weak and she knew that by the time she got back he'd probably be asleep.

As soon as she got downstairs she phoned the hospital. The nurse she got through to was very abrupt, as if it was all Bella's fault and at first she wouldn't even speak to her.

'I'm sorry, but we're only allowed to give information to the next of kin.'

'Mr Cullen's stepson lives in Italy, are you sure my name and contact details aren't listed anywhere in his notes?'

'Oh yes, I'm sorry, you're identified as his main carer on the admission form and in that case I can confirm that Mr Cullen has discharged himself against medical advice.'

'Wasn't there anything you could do to keep him there? He's definitely not well.'

'I'm afraid we're a hospital not a prison. The medical staff did their best to persuade Mr Cullen to stay and made sure he was aware of the possible consequences, but in most cases, if a patient is absolutely determined to leave we can't stop them.'

'What's wrong with him? He was doing so well.'

'He's been diagnosed with pneumonia and he does have a further supply of antibiotics with him. But they may take some time to have any effect and of course he is in any case terminally ill…Would you like me to ask the consultant to give you a ring when he's finished his rounds later?'

'Yes please. But what do I do if Carlisle gets worse?'

'I would suggest that if you have any further concerns you should contact Mr Cullen's GP.'

As Bella had suspected, when she took the cup of tea she'd made up to Carlisle, he was already asleep. Remembering the overnight bag, she went to retrieve it from the hall and found the additional medication, the release form Carlisle had signed and a discharge summary for his GP.

She didn't know what to do. She wondered whether she should start the usual round of phonecalls, but she didn't want to alarm everyone all over again. It looked as if he'd been started on the antibiotics straight away, so once they kicked in he should be all right, but on the other hand…

After several minutes pacing up and down the corridor outside Carlisle's room, she decided to at least get dressed first, but when she came out of the shower she happened to glance at Lady Mary's picture and the expression on Lady Mary's face looked so grave that she panicked and ran straight back to check on Carlisle.

To her relief he seemed to be sleeping fairly peacefully, so she decided not to phone anyone just yet and when he woke up a few hours later, he was able to have some soup and take his medication, before falling asleep again, and at least she'd managed to persuade him to get into bed this time, where he looked much more comfortable.

The hospital consultant rang as promised after lunch, but there was very little he could add to what Bella already knew. The next twenty four hours were critical. If the drugs worked in time, as they should, Carlisle would probably be ok for a few more weeks or months. But as his health was already so compromised, there was a small chance that he wouldn't survive the night.

His GP surgery might be able to arrange for a Macmillan nurse to at least sit with him overnight, but due to the fact that it was Christmas Eve, unfortunately that was quite unlikely. In any case as Carlisle was so vehemently against being admitted to hospital again, and they all had to respect his wishes, his GP was now responsible for any further care needs.

It was what Bella had expected and when she rang the GP surgery afterwards, they added Carlisle to the doctor's list of home visits for the day, but more or less said the same thing. So all Bella could do was wait and hope for the best.

When Rosalie rang later she'd already phoned the hospital so she knew what had happened and although Bella had been certain Emmett and Rosalie would be jumping on the first plane back, like the other medical professionals Rosalie was calm and soothing and promised Carlisle would be ok and that the doctor would definitely be there later.

Mrs Cope had unfortunately come down with a bad cold and they decided it was best if she stayed where she was rather than risk infecting everyone, but she'd insisted on taking the news that Carlisle was at home as a good thing anyway, and James was uncontactable again. So after the doctor had called in and re-assured Bella some more, despite the fact that Carlisle seemed to be getting worse to her, she tried to ignore her fears and concentrate on looking after him.

As afternoon turned into evening Bella began to get really worried again. Carlisle had been sleeping peacefully, but suddenly he'd got restless and when she touched his skin it was cold and clammy, although his temperature was high. She phoned 111 and after going through a list of questions they promised an out of hours doctor would visit, but that wouldn't be for several hours and if Carlisle deteriorated in the meantime she should ring back.

Bella felt helpless, how was she supposed to judge if Carlisle's life was in danger or not? She wished she had someone to talk to and she suddenly realised she'd forgotten to let Edward know what was going on. Presumably he'd rung the hospital for news early in the morning, before he'd left for work and before Carlisle had discharged himself, so he'd have no idea what had happened since.

She looked at her watch, it was nearly six o'clock so he should be on his way home from work by now. She knew he would probably be cross with her for not contacting him earlier, but at least that would be better than the reaction she'd got from James recently. She screwed up her courage, scrolled through her contacts and pressed call.

Her heart immediately sank when she heard the level of background noise. She hadn't realised how much she'd been depending on hearing a friendly voice and she didn't know how she'd react if Edward was too busy enjoying himself to pay much attention and just brushed her off like James had. Suddenly there was a lump in her throat and she couldn't speak.

'Bella,' Edward's voice was worried, 'Bella, what is it?'

She hoped he couldn't hear how close she was to tears,' Where are you? I can hear music and people talking in the background.'

'Oh, that's the radio playing and a rowdy bunch of school kids behind me in the queue. I just dropped into the local shop to buy a pint of milk on my way home. What's wrong? I'm sure you haven't rung me just to wish me a happy Christmas. It's not Carlisle is it?'

Encouraged by the concern in his voice, Bella told him everything that had happened and poured out all her worries, while Edward listened quietly. When she came to a halt she could tell from the traffic noise that he was in the street now. He sounded breathless when he spoke again, as if he was hurrying.

'Don't worry, I'm coming straight down. I'm not sure how bad the traffic will be, but I should be there between eleven and twelve. If he gets any worse, phone the doctor. I'll ring you again when I get to Bristol.'

'But what about all the work you need to get finished over Christmas?'

'Let me worry about that and anyway there's been a development. I'll tell you about it later. Ring me straight away if you're worried, or there's any change in Carlisle's condition. Chin up, Sweetheart. I'll be there as soon as I possibly can.'

She heard the jangle of keys and a door slamming as he rang off and she knew he'd got home. With any luck the traffic wouldn't be too heavy and he'd make good time. Meanwhile she settled into the chair Carlisle had been sitting in earlier and waited.

-ooo-

When Edward called her from Bristol two hours later, the sudden noise made Bella jump and she tiptoed out of the room so that she could talk without disturbing Carlisle.

'Oh, thank you so much for remembering to ring me. I saw the weather report earlier and I was beginning to get worried. Is it snowing where you are yet?'

'Barely, it's been fine so far, just a few flurries here and there. How is he?'

'Slightly better I think. I've managed to get his temperature down a bit and he's less restless than he was, although his breathing's still quite noisy.'

'I'll get straight back on the road then. Everyone seems to have got where there're going for Christmas and the roads are completely deserted now.'

'Be careful though, please.'

'Don't worry. I'll see you in a few hours. Look after him for me.'

'Of course I will. Bye Edward and thanks again for doing this. I'm so grateful.'

-ooo-

The night air and the sea were so still that she heard the car approaching several minutes before Edward arrived and she reached the door just as he pulled up in front of the house.

As usual her heart leapt when she first caught sight of him. In contrast to his dark overcoat, his hair and face were glowing in the moonlight, which was reflecting off the thick white layer of frost that covered everything in sight. He shivered and laughed at the sudden cold, stamping his feet and rubbing his hands together while he walked round the car to get his things out of the boot, and his breath steamed and his footsteps crunched on the frozen grass as he hurried towards the house then bounded up the steps.

Quickly closing the door on the cold and the darkness and depositing his belongings on the nearest chair, he immediately enveloped Bella in a hug, holding her tightly and planting a kiss on her forehead. And as she burrowed under his thick coat and felt his arms wrapping around her, a current of energy seemed to flow between them, buoying her up and making her feel warm for the first time in days. Whatever was coming, she knew she had the strength to deal with it now.

They hurried up the stairs together, while Edward asked her numerous questions about Carlisle and his eyes scanned her face as he listened to her responses. When they entered the room they found that Carlisle had woken up and while Edward helped him to the bathroom to freshen up a bit, Bella changed the sheets and brought up a jug of fresh water, a cup of tea and some more soup. But although he managed to swallow his pills, he was too exhausted to take more than a few sips of tea and turned down all offers of food.

Once he was settled, Carlisle asked to be propped up a bit and Edward sat on the bed and held his hand until he fell asleep again. He hadn't had the strength to talk much, but from where Bella stood close by, she could see how much Edward's presence had comforted him and how fondly his eyes had rested on Edward's face as they slowly drifted shut.

When they were sure he was soundly asleep, Edward stood up and insisted on going down to the kitchen to get Bella something to eat, despite her protests. And when he came back he switched on a lamp and moved two armchairs and a side table to the other end of the room, where they could still keep a close eye on Carlisle, but wouldn't disturb him too much if they kept their voices low.

He put down two plates of scrambled egg on toast topped with grated cheese and two large mugs of tea, which he'd carefully carried up on a tray.

'Right, come on, sit down. I know my culinary skills aren't up to much – too much eating out I'm afraid. But somehow I get the feeling you haven't eaten all day, so you'd better finish it all or I'll be very upset. Then I think we'd better have a talk, don't you?'

Ignoring his last question, because she wasn't sure how she felt about a serious discussion, Bella put a forkful of egg into her mouth, 'Mmmm, this tastes so good and I might even be able to drink your paint stripper tea. Has no one ever told you that more than one drop of milk is ok?'

Edward pretended to scowl at her, as he offered her the bottle of tomato sauce. 'What's with the enormous amount of food Mrs Cope's stocked up with by the way? Anyone would think she knew I was coming.'

'Actually I wouldn't be at all surprised. I've noticed she gets this funny look on her face sometimes, as if she's hearing something I can't. You know she reads palms and the villagers are convinced she's got second sight? And she's said a few weird things about Alice lately, almost as if she's still around, which is a bit scary.'

'Oh, don't take too much notice of Mrs C, I think she's going a bit batty in her old age and she's so ancient that she does tend to live in the past a bit. Like Carlisle in some ways, he's never been the same since Esme died.'

'It's odd that both your father and Carlisle married so late in life.'

Edward laughed, 'For totally different reasons. Carlisle had a long-term partner before Esme, but they couldn't have children and just didn't think it was important to actually get married. My father on the other hand was a total philanderer and despite my imminent arrival, I've no idea how my mother managed to finally get him to the altar at the age of fifty three, when so many others had tried and failed. She was a very determined woman though, in her way.'

'What happened to her?'

'When I was fifteen she disappeared off to America with her fifth husband and died a couple of years later. It took me a long time to understand that, like my father, she never really cared about anyone but herself… Anyway, now that you've cleared your plate, I've got some news to tell you and then you're going to explain to me what's been going on. Ok? '

Bella looked over at Carlisle, hoping for an excuse not to have this embarrassing conversation, but he was sleeping slightly more peacefully now and there was no escape. She turned back to Edward and tried not to get too distracted by how close she was sitting to him and how much she'd missed him.

'Ok, fire away then.'

'Well, I've been working on getting back to Cornwall since I last saw you and I've just had a definite job offer. Which means I'll be giving in my notice straight after Christmas and moving down here as soon as possible.'

No one could fail to see how pleased Bella was, in fact she forgot all about being quiet because of Carlisle and nearly knocked the table over as she flung her arms around Edward's neck and hugged him.

'Oh, that's going to make Carlisle so happy!'

Edward was looking rueful, 'At one point I'd hoped you'd be happy as well, but never mind.'

'Of course I'm happy, I'm sure Lauren will be too.'

Edward looked puzzled,'Why Lauren in particular? Don't you know she's just got engaged to Toby Penwarren? Now she's finally bagged him, the poor bastard doesn't stand a chance. She'll be dragging him down the aisle as quickly as she possibly can and she definitely won't be worried about what I'm up to.'

'Oh!' Bella was staring down at the table with knitted brows. But really it didn't matter if it was Lauren or someone else.

'What is it Bella?'

Bella blew out a breath, here goes then, might as well get it over with. 'I know there weren't supposed to be any strings, but how could you go straight to Lauren after me?'

'I have no idea what you're talking about.'

Bella couldn't keep the bitterness out of her voice, 'You know, the 'business meeting' you had that Sunday morning?'

The penny dropped and he realised what she was referring to. She'd thought he'd be embarrassed to be caught out, but his reaction wasn't what she'd expected at all.

'Christ Bella, what the hell do you take me for?' Edward's eyes were flashing with anger as he distractedly raked a hand through his hair, then glared at her in stunned disbelief.

His voice had been louder than he'd realised and they both froze and looked towards Carlisle who stirred in his sleep and muttered something neither of them could catch. Bella tiptoed over to the bed and anxiously felt his forehead to check his temperature, before putting back some of the covers he'd thrown off. He felt hot again, where had that thermometer got to?

When she straightened up she found Edward was standing behind her, and still looking furious, he steered her across the room and out into the corridor, before closing the door quietly behind them. Noticing her worried look back towards the door, his expression softened slightly.

'Don't worry, I'm sure Carlisle will be ok for a couple of minutes. So hurry up and explain. I'm totally in the dark here.'

He crossed his arms and stood in front of the door so that she couldn't get back in and raised his eyebrows questioningly.

Fishing for the phone in her pocket, Bella brought up the collection of photos Rosalie had shown her on Lauren's facebook page and she watched Edward's face closely as he scrolled through them.

There were several photos of Edward walking out of the shower in only a towel, as well as sitting half naked on a bed. Then some of Lauren and Edward drinking and laughing together on what looked like the deck of a boat and at least one of Edward with his arm around Lauren's shoulders as she posed in her bikini.

Strangely it wasn't the bedroom photos which had hurt the most, but one of Edward standing on his own, staring out to sea. He was obviously unaware the photo was being taken and the camera had caught the same gloriously joyful expression Bella remembered from a few hours before, when they'd been lying in bed together.

Edward was smiling now and she'd never felt so humiliated. He rubbed his hand across his face, then through his hair, still grinning like crazy.

'I could cheerfully strangle Lauren sometimes, but I can assure you this isn't what it seems. I was wondering why Toby looked as if he wanted to knock my block off the last time I saw him.'

'But you were definitely with Lauren that day?'

'Yes, and half a dozen other people, including her father and my new employer, who she's cut out of the background. The other photos are from inside the cabin - it was such an unseasonably warm day that Lauren and I decided to go for a swim and she caught me showering and changing afterwards.'

'Why did you tell me it was a business meeting?'

'Well it was. I'd mentioned to Lauren's father that I wanted to move back to Cornwall, so he invited me to come and meet one of his friends who might have an opening coming up. It's taken all this time to get a concrete offer and I didn't want to jump the gun by mentioning anything that was so speculative. Plus I still had to finish off the case I've been working on, there were more people involved than just me.'

Bella looked at the screen in Edward's hand. He was staring at the photo that had almost broken her heart and he was smiling again.

'She must have caught me thinking about you in this one, look at the soppy grin on my face. I almost had second thoughts when I had to drag myself away and leave you there. I'd have much rather stayed in bed with you all day, or all week for that matter.'

Bella turned back towards the door. Her brain was in a whirl and she didn't even know what to say to him. How had she managed to get things so wrong?

Thinking she was leaving, Edward grabbed her shoulder and gently turned her back to face him. His expression was serious now.

'You do believe me don't you Bella? Why the hell didn't you say anything to me at the time? You'd done such a good job of shutting things down, I'd already got the message you weren't interested. Although obviously I was intending to try to change your mind, as soon as I could get back here and give it a proper go.'

'I thought I was doing what you wanted. No strings, no regrets, just a one night stand.'

She shrank away when she saw how angry he looked again.

'That wasn't what I wanted at all and I thought you realised that. Christ this has turned into such a mess!'

He dragged his hand through his hair again. She wanted to smooth down the bits which were sticking up in all directions and then run her hands over his face and watch as his green eyes softened and glowed when he bent to kiss her. But that was totally out of the question at the moment, she felt so guilty she couldn't even meet his eyes for very long.

Edward sighed again in exasperation, 'Right, I think we'd better go back to Carlisle now. We've already left him on his own for far longer than I intended. But now we've got this far, can we please have an honest discussion and sort out where things are going from here? Whatever happens, after working twelve to fourteen hour days for so long, I'm totally exhausted and I can't wait to move down here and take things a bit easier for a while.'

So after Bella had made sure Carlisle was ok, they sat back into their two armchairs and finally took the time to quietly talk everything through, although they kept wandering off onto other subjects. Something about the quiet cosiness of being alone together in the middle of the night seemed to have encouraged Edward to relax for once and all his fond memories of previous times in Cornwall came tumbling out.

But as Bella listened to stories about his family and impossibly long hot summers spent roaming the house and grounds and swimming in the sea, underneath she felt so sad that due almost entirely to her own stupidity, they'd both been so miserable for months and wasted so much time.

When the conversation finally came back round to the future, Edward was willing to pick up where they'd left off, but he insisted he wanted Bella to be absolutely sure, and he was giving her two weeks to break off whatever relationship James thought he had with her, before rushing into anything.

It wasn't exactly what Bella had in mind but she could wait and as long as Edward was waiting for her too, she could get through another couple of weeks, especially when she knew that soon he would be permanently nearby. Although he was supposed to give three months notice to his employers, he was hoping they'd let him go as soon as possible, so that he would have the chance to spend some time with Carlisle before it was too late.

When he mentioned Carlisle's name, they both looked guiltily in his direction. Although they'd been keeping an eye on him, he was sleeping so quietly now that they hadn't been paying close attention for a while and when Bella looked at the time she couldn't believe it was nearly 5am.

Carlisle was almost due another round of medication, so they both got up and Edward went to get a fresh jug of water, while Bella took his temperature.

When Edward came back into the room, Bella was beaming at him.

'I've checked it twice and Carlisle's temperature's normal for the first time since he came out of hospital. Do you think he'll be all right now?'

Edward looked down at his uncle. He was sleeping peacefully, his breathing seemed much less of an effort and the grey look had almost disappeared from his face.

'Do you know what? I think everything's going to be just fine.'