CHAPTER 12

It was mid morning when Bella woke and for a moment she couldn't remember why she was so happy. It felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted off her shoulders and the bright morning sunshine had chased all her sadness away.

Suddenly she remembered - Oh, Edward, and Carlisle!

She jumped out of bed, quickly pulled on her dressing gown and ran down the corridor and across the landing, half afraid that yesterday had all been a dream and she'd find Carlisle's room deserted because he was still in hospital.

When she burst through the doorway her relief was almost tangible and she couldn't do anything but smile. Carlisle was sitting propped up by pillows, eating a bowl of cereal on a tray and chatting to Edward, who was perched on the edge of the bed with his laptop open on his knees.

Everything just looked so normal that Bella wanted to hug them both. But when Edward turned and grinned at her, she definitely wanted to do more than hug him and she suddenly felt so overcome by the fact that Carlisle was ok and Edward was finally here, that she had to sit down too.

She walked across the room on wobbly legs and sat on the bed beside Edward. What had they agreed exactly under their two week exclusion zone? She'd understood that they wouldn't be sleeping with each other, but were they allowed a friendly touch, or a kiss perhaps?

Smiling just as broadly as Bella was, Edward put his arm around her, pulled her close and kissed her on the cheek. Oh good, kissing was ok then, great! She kissed him back – and it definitely wasn't her fault the kiss landed on the side of his mouth instead of his cheek, because he'd moved.

From the corner of her eye Bella saw that Carlisle was smiling too and a huge wave of happiness surged through her. She remembered it was Christmas morning, so she wished them both a very merry Christmas, then she realised that Edward had been up all night and immediately felt guilty.

'Oh, Edward, I'm sorry I slept so long, you should have woken me. What time is it?'

'I think it's nearly eleven. Don't worry, I'm used to managing without much sleep at the moment. The out of hours doctor finally turned up at around six by the way and confirmed what we already knew – that Carlisle's a lot better now.'

'Yes I can definitely second that.' Carlisle sounded tired and weak, but much more like his normal self, 'The antibiotics finally seem to be working, but being at death's door twice in two days is rather sobering and it's given me a lot to think about.'

Bella looked sad, 'We're just really happy you've pulled through. Things could have turned out so badly.'

But Edward was determined to be cheerful and steered the conversation away from the maudlin direction it was heading in, 'Hey, enough of that. It's Christmas, so only happy thoughts today.'

The arm Edward still had wrapped around Bella's shoulders squeezed her tighter against him for a moment, before he kissed the side of her head and gave her back enough room to breathe, 'Mrs Cope and Em and Rosalie have already rung to get the latest news and wish us a merry Christmas. Mrs Cope was sounding very croaky, but she said to phone her back later if we want any advice about cooking the turkey.'

Bella looked concerned, 'Oh, poor Mrs Cope, she said she thought she was coming down with a cold yesterday. I hope she's not feeling too bad. But that's reminded me, if we want to be eating at a reasonable time I'd better go and get the oven on. The turkey's going to take ages to cook.'

'Do you want me to come and help you?'

'No, now I'm awake you need to get some sleep yourself. But would you mind hanging on a minute, while I shower and get dressed first?'

'No problem, I'll go down and switch the oven on while you're doing that. And I have no qualms about leaving Carlisle, because he's clearly well on the road to recovery.'

Edward winked at Carlisle as he walked away and couldn't resist giving Bella another quick kiss on the cheek, before following her out of the room.

-ooo-

Despite the circumstances leading up to it, Bella couldn't remember a happier Christmas Day.

Once the turkey was in the oven, Edward had reluctantly gone off to bed to take his turn at sleeping and Bella had phoned Mrs Cope, just to make sure she was ok and wish her a merry Christmas.

Carlisle had also slept for most of the day, but Bella was still anxious about leaving him alone for too long. Remembering she'd seen a dining room trolley in one of the storerooms, she wheeled it out and with the help of the lift, she'd managed to divide her time between Carlisle and the kitchen by preparing most of the food upstairs.

Edward woke up mid afternoon, just in time to help with the final preparations and they managed to have quite a festive meal in Carlisle's room, complete with crackers, paper hats and a bottle of Edward's favourite wine from the cellar, for Edward and Bella at least.

Carlisle had been able to eat a few slices of turkey and a tiny portion of Christmas pudding and custard. But Edward was watching him like a hawk the whole time to make sure they weren't tiring him out and after half an hour Bella and Edward left Carlisle to go back to sleep, while they trundled the trolley back downstairs, loaded the dishwasher and tidied everything away.

They spent the rest of the afternoon finishing the wine and chatting quietly in Carlisle's room again while he slept, then Edward reluctantly said he had to catch up on some work and disappeared into his room while Bella watched a film on her laptop.

When Carlisle next woke up at around eight o'clock, Bella remembered the Christmas presents that were still waiting under the tree downstairs. Edward was just re-emerging from his room when she ran down to get them and when she got back she found that apart from the new printer Edward had already had delivered for Carlisle, he'd produced a giant box of chocolates for her, which he rather sheepishly explained he'd grabbed at the service station on his way down to Cornwall.

Bella was surprised he'd even thought of it and it was all a tiny bit awkward that Edward had to sit there watching Carlisle and Bella open their presents when there was nothing for him. Bella handed out the parcels from Mrs Cope and Emmett and Rosalie, before hurrying to open the ones James had left them. Carlisle had a very elegant gold pen and Bella tried to conceal the flowery dedication in the book of love poems James had given her, but glancing at Edward she could see from the expression on his face that she hadn't covered it up quite quickly enough.

Carlisle and Bella should have been left with just their presents from each other now, but there was an extra one.

'That's odd, who's this from?' Bella turned over the tag, 'Oh, Edward, it's for you from Mrs Cope. How on earth did that get there?'

Like the gift Mrs Cope had given Bella, Edward had some hand knitted gloves and a key ring with half a dozen charms set into the fob, including a snail shell, a tiny mirror, a picture of an eye and a piece of blue stone.

Edward chuckled, 'Ok, I'll go with that. She obviously thinks we both have cold hands and not enough good luck in our lives.'

'I've realised how the extra present got there though. Mrs Cope was in such a tizzy when she left that I had to run after her to swap gifts. I think she was going to the post office on her way home, so she must have given me yours as well by mistake.'

Next Bella gave Carlisle the new mouse she'd bought him. He refused to use a laptop and wrote all his articles sitting at his desk, on an ancient desktop with a mouse which was always on the blink, so Bella hoped that along with the new printer Edward had bought him, he'd have an easier time in future.

Carlisle thanked her, than watched as Bella began to open the last present, which was his gift to her. The package was oblong in shape and quite heavy and beautifully wrapped in thick matte gold paper, tied with a shiny multi-coloured ribbon. Bella could immediately tell she was holding a box, but when she untied the ribbon and carefully removed the wrapping paper, it was such a beautiful box that she was speechless.

The design was oriental, with painted and inlaid birds and flowers on a dark blue lacquer background and when she'd finished admiring the outside, Bella was even more surprised by what was inside. When she opened the top expecting it to be empty, she found that nestled inside in both an upper and lower compartment lined with padded red silk, were at least a dozen items of jewellery.

'Carlisle, this is way too much. I can't accept such an expensive gift. The box alone…'

'I'm afraid it's not new and I hope you don't mind that it's second hand. But we noticed your mother's necklace is the only piece of jewellery you have.'

Bella looked at Edward, didn't he mind that Carlisle had given her what must be a family heirloom?

Edward smiled, 'Don't worry, it's just costume jewellery, nothing too valuable. And Carlisle checked with both myself and James when he got everything out of the bank in the summer and had the rest of Esme's jewellery re-valued and put back. Although even that wasn't worth an awful lot - mainly sentimental value, like everything else around here.'

Carlisle looked at Bella fondly, 'After the last few days, I think we all have to admit that I probably don't have very much longer to live and I'd like to know that some of Esme's possessions are going to a good home at least. So please do me the favour of accepting them if you can. And Edward's right, they are after all practically worthless.'

Bella knew very well that was an over-statement. But there was no way she could refuse now and she thanked Carlisle and gave him a hug, before carefully gathering everything up and tidying the room. She couldn't wait until she was alone so that she could properly examine the contents of the box, she'd never owned anything so beautiful before and she was still quite overwhelmed.

When Carlisle drifted off to sleep again, Bella and Edward decided he was so much better that there was no real reason to sit up with him any more. All he needed now was plenty of rest. So after checking his alarm, which would immediately call Bella's mobile if he pressed it, they tiptoed out of the room.

When they got downstairs, Bella took Edward to admire her beautiful Christmas tree. He said it was just like the ones he remembered here as a child, when Esme had stayed up late every Christmas Eve decorating the tree ready for Christmas morning. And standing in the glow of the Christmas lights and till smiling from the memory, he gently drew Bella towards him and kissed her.

But Edward had so much work to catch up on now that he couldn't leave it any longer and after apologising profusely for having to neglect her, he made up a fire in the smaller family sitting room, where there was a TV to help keep Bella entertained while he worked on his laptop at the table.

To tell the truth Bella spent most of her time surreptitiously watching Edward rather than the screen. After all this time without him she didn't want to waste a minute of his company and in the warm and cosy atmosphere she daydreamed to her heart's content and every time he looked across at her and smiled, her heart flipped.

But by twelve o'clock Bella's lack of sleep the night before had begun to catch up with her and despite her best efforts she could barely keep her eyes open. Jerked awake by the noise of Edward raking the embers in the fireplace and suddenly aware that the room had got quite cold, she looked up as Edward walked over to her, smiling.

'Come on sleeping beauty, by the look of you it's way past your bedtime.'

While Bella self-consciously tried to flatten down her bird's nest hair, Edward swooped and lifted her out of her chair and into his arms. Cradling her tightly and ignoring her protests that she was too heavy and he'd drop her, he swirled her around the room, out of the door and up the stairs, while she struggled and kicked her legs, laughing and pleading to be put down, while clinging on tightly with her arms around his neck.

Apart from ricocheting off the banisters a couple of times, they made it to Bella's bedroom door safely, but to Bella's disappointment that was where Edward stopped. He was only slightly out of breath, but she was pressed so tightly against his chest that she could feel his heart beating hard against her ribs. His grey cashmere sweater was soft against her cheek and she tried to snuggle in closer while she had the chance, not wanting to give up the warmth of his body and the solid nearness of him. But Edward quickly and unceremoniously dropped her back onto her feet.

Laughing, he dodged her arms as they tried to snake back around his neck, 'Hey steady on, there's only so much I can take. You looked so tempting lying on the sofa half asleep that I've barely been able to concentrate on anything else for the last half an hour.'

He moved further away from her and at one time she would have jumped to the conclusion that he didn't really want her, but now she could see how tightly he was holding himself back.

'Wouldn't you like to come in? I could make it worth your while.'

He ran a hand through his hair, 'Bella, you know what we agreed. I'm sorry but I need to know you've completely disentangled yourself from any previous commitments.'

'But nothing happened with James, I swear. He's really not much more than a friend. We never even properly kissed.'

Bella couldn't miss how Edward flinched at James's name, or how he'd involuntarily clenched his fists when she'd mentioned kissing him. She vaguely knew that James and Edward had never got on even as children, but she hadn't fully appreciated until now just how strong Edward's dislike was and she realised that in all the stories he'd told her about his childhood and his family, he'd never once mentioned James.

She tried to apologise and explain some more, but when she saw the expression on Edward's face she knew she was only making things worse and she had to stop. His eyes were cold and his jaw remained tightly set as he wished her goodnight and gave her a small polite kiss near her ear. All of the familiar Edward had disappeared, leaving only the rather forbidding stranger she'd first met.

As he turned to leave he added, 'Don't worry about Carlisle. I'll be up working quite late, so I'll keep an eye on him tonight and I'll see you in the morning before I go.'

Feeling slightly baffled, Bella stood in the doorway watching Edward retreat across the landing and disappear towards the opposite side of the house. For the first time she understood how much she'd hurt him by turning to James in his absence, but unfortunately there was no point wishing she could take any of it back.

Shrugging her shoulders at Lady Mary's picture in defeat, she stepped into her room and shut the door, then quickly got ready for bed and crept in under the covers. But despite how tired she felt, she couldn't get to sleep and she lay awake wondering how she'd managed to make such a mess of things and hurt both Edward, and potentially James now, in the process.

She was really grateful to James for being there when she'd needed him through all those dark winter days and for sticking around for so long. But if she hadn't been so depressed when he'd arrived, she was sure their relationship would never have progressed so quickly, or so far. James had made everything seem frivolous and fun and normal again and like someone rescued from drowning, she'd clung to him because she'd been afraid to let go.

But even at the time, she'd realised that James was encouraging her to drink far too much and that there was something desperate about her frenetic need to be distracted and entertained. It was no wonder that she'd sometimes felt as if she was trapped on a roundabout which was spinning so fast that she couldn't get off.

And despite his frequent protestations and the fact that he'd practically proposed to her, she had no idea how deep James's feelings really were. Sometimes she'd believed he'd be heartbroken to lose her, but once or twice she'd got the strange impression that it was all just an elaborate game. She was thankful now that she'd stopped short of committing herself any further than she had, but nevertheless she was fond of James and very conscious of how much she owed him and she regretted having to tell him she'd made a mistake.

By now it was past two o'clock and as she still couldn't get to sleep, she decided to go and check on Carlisle. In the quiet of the night everything was still and peaceful and her way across the landing was lit by the moonlight which was shining through the stained glass window halfway up the stairs. It was strange how the house seemed to have its own moods and tonight everything was calm, with no trace of any sadness in the air.

Having reassured herself that Carlisle was fine, she tiptoed out of his room leaving him sleeping peacefully and glanced towards Edward's door, which was further along the corridor. There was a thin sliver of light showing underneath it so she knew he was still awake and she was almost tempted to go in.

She crept closer and pressed her ear to the door. She could hear music playing very quietly and the faint tapping of a keyboard and she felt guilty all over again that she'd dragged Edward all this way and now he had to stay up half the night trying to catch up on his work. But perhaps if he hadn't come down to Cornwall they might never have had the chance to sort anything out. She shivered at the thought that she might well have ended up with James instead and realising how cold she was now, she scurried back to bed.

-ooo-

In the morning, they were both tired and subdued. After breakfast Edward spent rather a long time shut in Carlisle's room with him, then he rang Mrs Cope and arranged for Melanie to come in for an hour or two every day until she came back, so that Bella could at least have the occasional break. Carlisle was doing so much better already that they were sure he would be fine now, but it might be a few more days before he was up and about again.

There wasn't any further excuse for Edward to delay his departure. He collected up his things, said goodbye to Bella, gave her a quick hug on the doorstep and ran down the steps to his car. Luckily it hadn't snowed, it rarely did in Cornwall, but the weather forecast wasn't very good and he needed to get back to London as soon as possible. There was only so much work he could do without referring to the paper files in his office.

Bella watched forlornly from the top step as he got into the car. The clouds were heavy with a dirty yellow tinge; it definitely looked like snow was on the way and she was freezing standing there without her coat. She wondered why Edward was taking so long to drive away. But she had her answer a second later, when he got out of the car, bounded back up the steps and kissed her so thoroughly that she felt as if she was glowing all over despite the cold.

When they broke apart his eyes were shining and neither of them could stop grinning. Unwilling to let her go, he groaned in frustration and held her close again, wrapping his coat around both of them to keep out the cold, while she rubbed her face against his cheek which was silky smooth from shaving and breathed in the smell of his cologne to remember when he was gone.

Finally, with a regretful sigh and a kiss on the top of Bella's head, Edward drew back and looked down at her with the slight quirk of his lips and the melting softness in his eyes that she loved.

'I'll ring you from Bristol, but please let me know immediately if anything happens with Carlisle. Even the slightest worry. Ok?'

'Of course.'

'I'll be back the weekend after next then.'

The subject of James hung in the air for a moment, before Edward reluctantly turned, and with a final parting glance which set Bella's heart fluttering all over again, he hurried back down the steps. He gave her another wave as he got into the car, then revved the engine and quickly disappeared down the drive.

Hi, sorry that was quite a short chapter, I promise I'll make it up in the chapter after next, when Bella and Edward are together again.

Also for anyone who's confused, although I originally said I'd update approx every 3 weeks, I'm continuing to stick to every other Wednesday as much as I can.

See you soon x Sue