Author's Note:

I wrote this in the winter hiatus of Season 4 as a way for me to try to understand Oliver's decision to not tell Felicity the truth about William, which I did and still feel did not seem in character. I have gotten feedback that this story (first chapter esp) comes off as Oliver blaming Felicity for him lying to her.

That is not my intention, nor is it Oliver's. It is just an attempt to explain and understand why Oliver made a terrible choice.

Clearly, this is the best Oliver I've ever written, at least not in the first (and maybe the second) chapter. Maybe one day I'll go back and fix it. But for now, I hope you can enjoy it for what it is.

I'm still very proud of chapter 3, which will be up tomorrow morning.

When Life Implodes

Chapter 2: Falls to Pieces

Felicity didn't know what to think.

She didn't know what to do.

She didn't know what to feel.

Felicity's admittedly already chaotic world had just been turned upside down and inside out and it… it made her question everything. Everything she knew and the one person that she had always had complete faith in.

Because now…she just didn't.

All because of a child. A miniature version of the man Felicity loved, right down to the identical brooding and kicked puppy-dog expressions. Watching the two of them sit next to each other looking equally lost and miserable made her want to…want to take them both into her arms and make their misery go away.

But Felicity couldn't.

Because Oliver had known about this boy since early December, since last year. Over four months. Four months when they had been a close as two people could possibly be, where they went to bed together every night and woke up together every morning, where they had endured her in a wheelchair and constant attacks from all fronts. Always together. Always at each other's side. Partners.

Yet Oliver had been lying to her. The entire time. Four months and he had said nothing. Nothing!

And that made Felicity question every solitary word that had come out of Oliver's mouth, including the ones that put his ring on her finger.

Felicity had taken it off, with images of throwing it in Oliver's face. Then she had hyperventilated. Which was followed by the actually physical sensation of her heart was being ripped out of her chest. And, then, she was shoving the damn thing back on with unnecessary violence and proceeding to cry herself to sleep.

That was when Felicity had realized that no matter how angry or hurt she was, she couldn't throw it all away without knowing the whole story, without fighting for it, for them. Even if the them she thought they were was a complete lie.

That's the thing about finding out someone you love is keeping an enormous secret from you. It's the 'why.' But, even worse, the 'what'…as in what else was Oliver keeping from her?

Those two questions could poison the soul. Or at least a relationship.

If Felicity was really the love of Oliver's life as he had sworn many many times. Than why on earth would he keep this from her? How could he? Didn't he trust her? What was he afraid of? That she would leave him? That she wouldn't understand? That she'd make him choose? Felicity or his son? Well, if that was the case, then he didn't really know her at all.

Or did Oliver just think that Felicity would be a terrible mother? Maybe he wanted her to stay as far away from his son as he could keep her. She certainly washed out at Ivytown. She wasn't exactly the stay-at-home, cookie-baking, PTA-volunteering type. The cookies would probably explode, actually, and…

What if Oliver had run into his beautiful ex-girlfriend, seen what a fantastic mother she was to his son and…and questioned who he should be with?

Had Oliver been considering leaving Felicity for the beautiful woman who now lie six feet under in a cold lonely grave? The woman who the two Queen boys were so obviously mourning.

But if that were the truth, why did Oliver propose? Because that was after he'd found out. Why…? Felicity and Oliver had only gotten closer and more intimate in in the last four months, despite her temporary disability. How could he possibly have been thinking of leaving her for someone else?

Except, who wanted a wife and mother in a wheelchair? And who left a woman in a wheelchair? Maybe he had just stayed with her because he felt obligated.

Maybe he was planning on keeping both of them. Having two families in two cities. It was inconceivable of the man she knew.

Unless Oliver Queen had fooled her all along. Unless he was not the man Felicity thought him to be. Because if Oliver could lie to her about this, he could lie to her about anything. What if everything she thought she knew about her boyfriend…fiancé was false?

It was enough to make her paranoid. Or insane. Wait…wasn't paranoia a type of insanity?

Felicity certainly felt like she was losing her mind. Her exhausted, over-emotional, neurotic-on-a-good-day brain kept vacillating between telling her she knew Oliver, knew him better than anyone on Earth. That he was the love of her life. Her soulmate. That she needed to have faith.

Oliver had to have a perfectly reasonable explanation for all of this. Felicity just needed to be a good fiancée, be patient and compassionate. It wasn't as if she had never kept a secret from him. She had lied to him all summer long and he had forgiven her without a second thought. He, at least, deserved a chance to explain.

But as soon as Felicity started to calm down, her brain would take a sharp right turn. She'd tell herself that this secret wasn't even close to the one she kept this summer. That is wasn't in the same league. In seconds, she would convince herself Oliver was a sociopath, leading a double life, completely incapable of love and trust and…

Yes, Felicity was definitely losing her mind.

And if Oliver lingered any longer at the grave of his ex-girlfriend while Felicity watched his mini-me stare blankly at Ultimate Spiderman, she may need to be committed. She hoped Central City had a better mental institution than Star City.

Yet, there was a part of her that dreaded Oliver returning. Because it meant there was no more hiding. They needed to talk. They could either work it through. Or it was all over.

Felicity had spent the better part of two days hiding on the internet, trying to find out everything there was to know about Samantha and William Clayton. Samantha had been murdered, surely there was a relative out there that would want to take over the funeral arrangements and help provide for William.

Not that Felicity was trying to get rid of William. She understood that if she were to stay with Oliver, William was part of the package now, and that alone was pretty enormous to wrap her head around, but there had to be someone out there that the boy knew better than Oliver.

Then again, Felicity had no idea how well William knew Oliver. Though, the boy had seemed pretty shocked to learn that Oliver was his father and it didn't seem to be just that he was also learning that his dad was a superhero.

Well, whether William was comfortable with Oliver or not, he was coming home with him. Because there was no one. Not one solitary relative capable of lending the boy solace. So that poor boy was coming back to Star City. He was moving into Thea's old room. There was no other choice.

Well, Felicity had a choice. She didn't need to go back to the Loft. She could leave Oliver, leave them.

That realization had led to an hour of sobbing, locked in the bathroom, huddled in an empty nineteenth century bathtub.

Much like taking off the ring, it didn't take Felicity long to realize that moving out was the last thing she wanted. She wanted to go home with both Oliver and William. To try to make it work, but…but it all depended on Oliver now. On what he had to say. And if Felicity could believe him.

Because Felicity would stay. Unless she couldn't.

To say she was a wreck when Oliver finally walked through the front door was an understatement. Though, if how he looked was any indication, she was downright composed compared to him. Good. She would hate to think that she was at a disadvantage.

When Oliver approached her for the first time since Barry had shown up in the Arrow Cave, the fog over his eyes had cleared and he looked…terrified.

Of being a father?

Of losing her?

Both, Felicity's instincts told her. But the events of the last two days made it really hard to trust those instincts.

It heartened her that Oliver approached her first, that he didn't seem intent on avoiding the conversation they so desperately needed to have. Felicity was surprised when he asked her to let him talk without interrupting. Irritated, because what right did he have? Relieved, because she didn't know where to start.

But mostly, Felicity just wanted the truth and if that took shutting up and listening, then that was a small price to pay. Besides, she needed to use all her faculties to focus on trying to judge whether whatever he told her was the truth or not.

And what Oliver told her…it threw her for a loop. Felicity had thought that she had considered every scenario, but …not this.

Oh, she had figured out who William was and how Oliver found out about him. With a little research and what Felicity already knew from their last trip to Central City that wasn't exactly hard to figure out.

And the whole part about Oliver being a self-sacrificing asshole who was completely focused on preserving his son's perfect life, in not messing it up with his presence, that explanation was classic Oliver, which was why it was something Felicity was actually hoping for. Because even if it felt like regression, it was still so very Oliver.

It was completely in character for the man she knew. And not the scary sociopath Felicity had created in her head over the last 48 hours. No, that was the same old idiotically noble Oliver. And that Felicity knew how to work with. She'd done it a hundred times before.

But the part of Oliver's explanation that left Felicity feeling sucker punched was when he told her that he kept things from her because he'd already had the conversation with her in his head. What it came down to was the fact that Oliver had decided that he didn't want to hear what she had to say.

And even scarier than that was how well Oliver knew her. Every time he brought up an argument that he believed she would have made, it felt like he was stealing the words straight from Felicity's mouth. It was deflating. Unbalancing. Invasive almost.

Felicity took for granted, well she had in the past, how well she knew Oliver, but she often forgot that it was a two-way street. Sure, Oliver knew how she liked her eggs and what shampoo she used, but, wow, it kind of felt like he was in her head. It was frightening and really hard to argue with when he was so completely right.

But that feeling that someone knew you so well that he knew your response to every argument…it was oddly comforting too. It made Felicity feel understood. Loved. And with all the other emotions tumbling inside her, it all just made her more confused.

In the end, it was easiest to just be irritated with the whole situation. Insulted, because he knew her reasoning and didn't want to hear it. Angry, because she was itching to yell all these arguments at him but he'd taken away their power by saying them first.

Oliver already yelled at and berated himself. He was already broken. It left Felicity no one to rage at and that was…really annoying. She felt cheated.

But even though Felicity was still angry and upset and really, really did not agree with Oliver's logic, it felt as if her world had righted itself.

Because even if Felicity didn't like what Oliver was saying. She could tell he was, finally, being completely open with her, could tell in her bones he was being truthful. And the confidence that she could tell when he was lying and telling the truth was back. Thank God.

Because hadn't Felicity known back in Central City? That Oliver was lying then? Just as she knew now that he was telling the truth?

And it meant that this was the man she had fallen in love with, secrets and all. So maybe Felicity had been a little too confident in his secret keeping recovery and he'd fallen off the wagon. Big time. But he wasn't the strange double-life-leading villain her sleep deprived imagination had painted him as.

The important part was that as long as Oliver was still this man, her man, as long as he still loved her, and when Felicity looked into his eyes she could tell that he did, then everything else they could work out. Felicity would make sure of it.

But maybe she'd waited too long to tell Oliver that. Maybe Felicity had basked a little too much in the relief, enjoying the knowledge that her world wasn't ending after all, that it was just taking a sharp right turn.

Because while Felicity was assessing how she felt, Oliver…well, he snapped.

One minute he was sitting in front of her with soft pleading eyes, the next he was flying across the field, wailing like a wounded animal. Then Oliver hurled that rock like he was fighting some sort of unseen monster and she flinched, genuinely scared for a moment. Felicity had never seen Oliver have a breakdown like this. It was terrifying and…

Comforting. God, sometimes, she was a terrible person. But sometimes, Felicity felt like she was alone in this, this feeling of being so connected to Oliver, that the whole soulmate thing was a happy delusion she had created in her head.

Something had happened in this last year. Somewhere between traveling the world and fighting for her life, between running a team and a company and a city, between dealing with a disability and a miracle recovery, Felicity almost felt as if they had become so enmeshed that if they separated they would never be whole again. It was a concept that scared her to death.

But seeing Oliver like this, clear evidence that he felt the same, made it bearable. And even a little…amazing.

So when Oliver raged at God…or whoever… like a madman, Felicity knew she could bring him back with a touch. She could and she did. And it comforted more than just him.

One gentle touch on Oliver's back and he collapsed, melted into Felicity like a magnet ripped in two and finally fusing back together. It was melodramatic, sure, but it really felt like her soul was whole again, kneeling there with Oliver wrapped in her arms.

"I don't know how to do this without you," Oliver sobbed. Felicity didn't think she'd ever seen him sob before. It made her own throat close. "I don't know how to live without you anymore. And now my son is counting on me and I fucking up everything and now I can't even—"

"Shhh. You can." The words came naturally, as easily as breathing. Then Felicity realized she was going into the mode Oliver described earlier, about to give a speech. "Am I allowed to talk now?" she asked, defensively. "Because I'm probably going to be passionate and opinionated and intense and I might even tell you I believe in you—"

Oliver's only response was a moaning sob.

"Can I?" Felicity asked again, because his review of her speeches before had been mixed at best and she really didn't feel like opening herself up for criticism.

Oliver managed to nod and she made sure he was looking at her before she continued, "You can do this. I know you can—"

"Not without you."

Felicity closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She couldn't continue to torture him, even if a small part of her wanted to. Part of her felt like this was giving in too easily, but what happened now was on both of them. This was their future they were talking about. She still had questions, conditions even, but Oliver needed some reassurance first.

"Well, then, you are damned lucky you don't have to."

Oliver perked up immediately, looking up at her with such hope in his eyes that it almost broke her heart as he asked, "Felicity?" There was a wealth of questions in that one word.

All it took was her name and Felicity wanted to cave, to forgive him and pretend it never happened. None of it. But she couldn't. She needed more first.

"Oliver, do you love me?"

That wasn't what Felicity had planned to start with, it wasn't actually something she doubted, but since it came out, she would go with it. There was a point that she needed to make.

Oliver, on the other hand, looked shocked and, quite honestly, insulted by the question. He stared at her, opening and closing his mouth several times before sputtering, "Felicity, I…. how could you not know…?"

"I've questioned a lot of things I know in the last two days, so I'm afraid I need you to say it—"

"Oh God, baby. I love you. Of course, I love you," Oliver fumbled to sit up on his knees and cup her face with shaking hands. "I have never loved anyone or anything as much as I..."

Oliver faded off, stricken, seeming to realize for the first time he had someone he needed to love at least as much as her. But comparing was not something Felicity would ever ask of him or even want him to do.

Instead, she stayed with her point. "Because, Oliver, when you keep something from me, something this huge, it doesn't feel like you love me." Oliver flinched, but Felicity held his gaze. "It feels like you're keeping pieces of yourself from me, that you don't want to share your entire life with me."

Oliver kept shaking his head as she spoke. "No, I—"

"It feels like you don't trust me. Not with the big stuff."

"No!" Oliver insisted. "None of that is true, I…"

Felicity just looked at him intently, letting him process, because even though she believed (now anyway) that wasn't what he intended, he had to understand why it felt that way.

"I…Felicity, not once did it occur to me to keep this from you because I didn't trust you. I knew I was betraying your trust. Which I'm so so sorry for, but all I was trying to do was keep him safe and stay sane. That's it."

"But you didn't trust me to help you," Felicity insisted, not because she was angry, she wasn't, not anymore, but it was still the truth.

"I did trust you!" Oliver swore, his voice rising, slightly desperate.

Felicity lowered hers in contrast, murmuring, "You didn't trust me to respect your wishes about keeping your distance from William."

"No," Oliver argued, his voice quiet now too, but passionate, "I trusted that you would try to talk me out of it. I trusted you to put me first and believe in me and…because that's what you do and who you are and that's how I want you to stay. And I didn't trust myself not to fold at your first argument."

"Oh, Oliver." He made it so hard to stay angry, sometimes. Even when he was a complete idiot. "That's not ok either. If we get married—"

"If?" Oliver's voice broke on the word, his eyes flicking to her ring, sad and scared. Heaven help her.

"When we get married," Felicity caved, "you need to have trust in us as a couple, that I will push you sometimes, but also that I'll stop if you ask me to. And you need to ask me to when that's what you need."

Oliver grabbed her hand, quickly as if she would snatch it away if he gave her half a chance. "All I can promise is that I'll try. But never doubt that I love you."

That was the thing about doubt, once it set in, it was like a disease, it spread and infected everything. But Felicity didn't say that. Instead, she said, "I love you, too. Frighteningly so. But I need you to promise to stop keeping secrets like this."

Looking past her, Oliver snorted in self-disgust. "You have no idea how many times I've wished I could just go back and pick up that damn phone while I was still in Jitters, before my stupid brain kicked in and started spinning me in knots."

"Do it!" Felicity insisted, her loud voice coming out. "Next time just do it."

"Next time?" Oliver laughed bitterly. "God, Felicity, I can't handle a next time."

"I'm serious, Oliver."

"So am I!" Oliver shifted closer, taking both her hands in his. "Felicity, I don't have any secrets left. You know everything that I can even imagine is worth knowing. This one blindsided me. My heart can't handle another like this."

"It can," Felicity insisted, seriously, "with my help."

She watched a smile start small and spread over his exhausted features. "Ok, yeah," Oliver breathed. "I think I've finally learned my lesson. No secrets."

Oliver meant it. That much Felicity was sure, but for some reason it felt like one of those promises, like staying safe and always coming back, that weren't fully in their control. But it had to be enough for now.

So, when Oliver drew her into his embrace, Felicity went gladly, collapsing her drained body against his chest with relief.

It had been less than three days since they had held each other like this, but it felt like so much longer. Felicity had taken this for granted a mere week ago, but now that she had lived with the possibility that she might never have it again… In some ways it had felt even worse than when she'd thought she'd never walk again.

Burying her face in his chest, Felicity doubled the strength of her embrace, feeling the answering pull from Oliver. God, the last two days had been hell. The paranoia, the doubts…

"Oliver?" Felicity asked. "So… just to be clear, at no point did you consider leaving me to get back together with Samantha, right?"

She hated how small and unsure she sounded. But when Oliver pulled back, an utterly shocked and incredulously look on his face, well, Felicity loved that.

"What? Seriously?"

Felicity enjoyed the disbelief in Oliver's voice, but now that her insecurities had voice, they wouldn't go back into hiding. "Because Samantha is clearly a whole lot better at that Ivytown Domestic Bliss thing than I was. You came back into the world of crime fighting for me. If you moved to Central City, it would have been a perfect ready-made family. Peaceful. Calm."

Cupping her face, Oliver forced her to look at him. "Felicity, baby…never. I swear. Never. Is that what you thought—?"

"Briefly." Well, maybe not so briefly. Really depends on one's definition of 'briefly'. It had probably been Felicity's biggest fear.

"Not for a microsecond did I consider leaving…" Oliver shook his head in disbelief. "You are the only one I want to be with. Felicity, I asked you to marry me."

"Only after my mother found the ring and I forced your hand," Felicity blurted out.

Again, Oliver's jaw dropped. "You didn't force my hand," he started to argue, then winced and Felicity's stomach turned over. In a very not good way. "Ok, maybe, I do have one more teeny-tiny secret." He must have seen the terror on her face, because he pushed forward, his words coming faster. "I never told you the real reason it took me so long to propose."

Tears stung. "You were having second thoughts, weren't you?"

"No! I told you…it's kind of embarrassing, Felicity." Oliver dragged a hand over his face before fumbling for her left hand. "So, I… The reason is that I was getting the ring reset."

"What?" Felicity asked confused, as she held up her hand to take a look at her beautiful ring. "Why?"

Oliver closed his eyes, looking utterly humiliated. "Because I almost proposed with my mother's ring."

Felicity still didn't understand why he was so upset by this. "Your mother's—"

"I didn't want to use your money to buy a new one and I couldn't afford a nice one myself so I thought it was the perfect scenario," Oliver babbled, grabbing her hand and staring at the ring. "But when we came home, Digg said I couldn't propose with my mother's ring, because you didn't like my mother—"

Eek. "That's not true," Felicity protested with a wince.

Oliver looked up at her through lowered lashes and smiled a bit. "No lies, remember."

"Weeeelll, I don't know if I'd go..." Felicity fell back on her old standby. "I think she really loved you and Thea. I liked that about her."

Oliver's lip twitched. "And not much else." Felicity started to protest again, but he stopped her. "It's ok. I just…after Digg explained, I just wanted you to love the ring—"

"I do. I love it." Felicity was starting to feel silly and petty for bringing this up.

"This," Oliver lifted her left hand, "is my mother's 3 carat diamond, in a custom made setting designed especially for you. It took the entire month of November to make."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh."

Felicity stared at the ring. It really was perfect. She hadn't realized how perfect. "That is… incredibly thoughtful." She reached up to cup Oliver's cheek with her right hand. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Sweetheart…" Oliver's voice cracked. "Those days after the proposal, I wasn't exactly thinking clearly."

Right. The whole almost dying thing. Then her legs and…not the best memories. One glance at Oliver's swimming eyes and she could tell he felt the same. It was probably worse for him actually. Felicity had been unconscious for half of December.

Felicity couldn't think of a thing to say, not without crying, so she pressed her lips to his and Oliver surged into her like a drowning man being allowed his first lungful of air. The passion and emotion in his kiss took her breath away and wiped out any remaining doubts. The raw honesty in his touch was undeniable.

She felt stupid for doubting the motivation behind his proposal, but it just proved how destructive the silliest little secret could be. Like how she'd always wondered if he ever would have proposed if her mother hadn't found the ring. And how Oliver was embarrassed that he hadn't considered that she might not have wanted to wear his mother's ring her entire life.

Right now, it didn't feel like it would have mattered at all. Right now, all Felicity wanted was to be married to this wonderfully flawed man, who was kissing her as if she were the most precious thing in the universe.

When she finally broke away with a sigh, they shared a soft smile and Felicity laid her head on Oliver's chest, wrapping her arms around him. It was a peaceful moment and it felt good. More than good.

But Felicity couldn't help feeling like this was just the eye of the storm. While she was incredibly grateful that her and Oliver were able to clear the air and work through their relationship issues, the next challenges were going to be something else entirely. And it may not be something Felicity was suited for.

"William is coming home with us," Felicity murmured, into Oliver's chest. Not able to look at him as she broached the subject for the first time, the subject of their entire life changing.

Oliver stiffened, but his arms only tightened around her. "Is that what you want?" he asked so quietly that Felicity could barely make out the words.

"Oliver, we have no choice." Did he think they did?

"But is that what you want?"

Pulling back so she could gage what he was really asking, Felicity searched Oliver's face. He couldn't really be thinking of sending William away…oh…

The vulnerability in Oliver's eyes was painful to behold. Felicity tried to smile reassuringly. "Oliver, he is your son. He is coming home with us."

"But—"

Felicity silenced him with two fingers to his lips. "He is your son, so I will love him, because I love you and he's a part of you." Oliver's lip quivered a bit as he smiled. And Felicity's throat burned, because loving William didn't mean she would be good at it. "I can promise to love him, but I can't promise to be as good a mother as Samantha was."

She must have looked pretty pathetic, because Oliver's expression melted from scared to grateful to reassuring in a heartbeat. "Felicity, no one expects you to replace her."

"Of course not," Felicity scoffed. As if the boy would let her. She knew enough about stepparents a to know that was mistake number one. Oh, God, she was going to be a step parent. "But Samantha seemed like she was the perfect mother, from everything I've seen. I'm a career woman and computer geek. I'm completely socially inept. Oliver I can't bake cookies!"

Ok, so, maybe her voice took on a slightly hysterical edge at the end there.

And Oliver had the nerve to chuckle. "You are not socially inept. You are adorably quirky." Felicity scoffed and was rewarded with a kiss to her nose. She felt like a cocker spaniel. "And baking cookies is one thing I can do. Don't take that away from me."

That smile could move mountains, but Felicity's anxiety was mounting way too quickly now to be cured so easily. "Oliver, don't pretend you don't worry that I'm not mother material."

Oliver's forehead creased. "I don't."

Now was not the time for half-truths. "You, yourself, said you didn't think I was ready to have kids."

"I said…" Oliver trailed off with a frustrated look on his face, most likely realizing that was exactly what he said. "I meant that I thought you might not want kids right now. Every time we've talked about kids you made it clear that you considered them years down the road. Haven't I told you that I want to have kids with you?"

Felicity blushed, starting to feel silly again. "Yes," she murmured. "But that was before you actually had a kid. One with a different kind of mom—"

"First off, I'm certain we've had the kid discussion since I found out about William, because I felt horrifically guilty each time. We talked about at Christmas in the hospital and we talked about it when they told us they didn't know if you could walk again. Which, by the way, felt like really horrible times to confess that I knew about William."

Felicity swallowed, "I guess." Now that Oliver mentioned it, she remembered those conversations quiet clearly.

"I think I had good reason to think that you might really freak you out," Oliver argued. "Then because of your medical condition, you couldn't handle any extra stress and now…you just got your life back. You love being CEO during the day and running Team Arrow at night. You barely have time to sleep as it is. A nine-year-old doesn't neatly fall into that plan."

"I don't think a nine-year-old fits neatly into anyone's plans," Felicity defended.

Oliver smiled. "Perhaps, but my point was that I never thought you wouldn't be good at it."

That brought the sting back to her eyes. "I'm not sure I'm mother material."

"Of course you are." Oliver looked so certain. "You're the most loving person I know."

That made Felicity smile through the tears. Now, that she wasn't feeling like her relationship with Oliver was in danger, the reality of bringing home an extremely vulnerable child was starting to freak her out some. Ok, a lot. Not because she didn't want him. Because, dear God, what if she were terrible at it.

"Oliver, I killed my goldfish," she confessed, guiltily.

He seemed fight a smile. "Children aren't goldfish."

"Tell me that this never crossed your mind when you decided not to tell me." She sounded whiny. Felicity hated sounding whiny.

Oliver didn't seem to mind. He just twined their hands together and told her seriously, "Did I worry about your reaction? That it would freak you the fuck out? Yes. But if that was all I was worried about…God, if only…I would have told you right away."

It wasn't that Oliver wasn't reassuring. He was. It was wonderful. He was wonderful. But the insecurities were dying a slow death. "I need you to swear to me that you're ok with raising a child with me, because if we're going to get married—"

"Felicity," Oliver seemed almost exasperated now, though sweetly so. "You are the only person I have ever wanted to raise a child with, that I have even contemplated raising a child with. The first time I even thought that I might want a baby was the day I saw you with baby Sara. I never wanted a family until I wanted one with you. Christ, if I thought you were ready and the city wasn't falling apart at the seems, I'd want to get pregnant right away…now…"

"Whoa," Felicity laughed, tears flowing freely, but, like, in a good way. A really, really good way. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

"I know. I know. It's not the time, but I want to have a family with you. Only you." Oliver was rambling. Felicity loved when he did that. The content didn't hurt either. "Well, you and William. I want the three of us to be a family. And maybe more. Someday." He sputtered to a stop, swallowing and bitting his lip, looking too adorable to be allowed, especially in such a strong manly package. "If you'll have us. So, Felicity Smoak, will you have us? Will you marry me, despite everything?"

Felicity almost argued that the enormous custom ring on her finger answered that question, but it wasn't the time for that. So, she grinned and said, "Yes, you big idiot. Apparently, I love you too much not to."

Oliver smiled, wide open and relaxed. "And you forgive me? For being an idiot?"

"Wellllll, I wouldn't say I'm totally, 100% over it, but—"

Felicity must have conveyed that she was (mostly) teasing, because Oliver cut her off with a kiss. And this time, he kissed her with confidence, with no hesitance that would implied a fear of being welcomed, just the firm, but gentle, slide of his lips. It felt like coming home.

And even though now was so not the time for sexy times, when Oliver parted her lips, Felicity welcomed his tongue because the need to be as close as possible was just too strong.

Felicity let herself get lost in him, in their reunion, for long minutes, until it started to become clear that maybe Oliver didn't share her opinion that it was not the time for sexy times and she pulled back with a happy sigh.

Oliver went to chase her lips, but Felicity held him off with a gentle push and a soft laugh. "Enough. You have a son—"

"We."

Felicity blushed because it was presumptuous and just so wonderful. "We have a boy back there who is in ten kinds of pain right now. If we're going to be parents, the we should, you know, parent."

Oliver's response was a bright smile that spread across his tired face and a brief press of his lips against hers. "Thank you," he breathed, almost reverent.

Grinning, Felicity allowed Oliver to help her to her feet and lace his hand with hers. His right with her left, so he could run his thumb over her ring.

Whatever was waiting for them in that farmhouse terrified her, but now Felicity knew it was going to be ok. Just one more adventure for them to face. Together.