Will refused to look up. He didn't want to hear the accusations, not when he was that shook up. Hours spent dreaming about a first kiss and this is what he got? And he would have an argument, the next time his mother would raise the subject with him. Being kissed by a woman was like seeing a nice little bird and hearing it sing completely off-key. Disharmonious somehow.

And he had been a pawn to her, too, in her war against Sonny. Was it the "ghost", who had threatened suicide? Kind words for such an angry creature. It was like being bullied by a dragon. He waited for Sonny's words. Ready to get up and leave.

"I'm so sorry, Will. I hope you don't feel hurt."

- I'm not hurt Sonny, I'm mad. Do you know that happens to me, sometimes too? I don't know when you entered the room but I was barely listening to her. And if you're afraid I liked it, don't worry, it was far from the truth. I want to puke. I know you feel bad for her and all, but I'm afraid I can't."

Sonny's eyes were so soft, when Will finally me them, that he felt even angrier. What was going on in his head? He sighed and remembered the postcard.

- I won't take her side, Will. What she did was vile, especially because it was you... In fact it's my fault it happened, so I understand that you're mad at me. I'm the one who left, the one who lied. So many times.

- What did you lie about?

- About how I felt, about who she was for me. I want her to realize I'm not worth all that angst, that I'm just one guy among others and she can find much better, but she's stubborn.

Will shrugged

"Here is another lie, then, cause you're not just one of the guys, you're much better than most people. You're not fair." Will didn't make much sense of the words that were coming out of his own mouth, but Sonny stopped being soft-looking. He touched Will's arm tentatively and gave it a tender brush, just as Will was speaking again "In fact you lie all the time, don't you. When we met, you said you had no woman in your life..."

- She isn't in my life, Will, we're not even friends. It's just that I feel guilty at times and she tries to use that."

- I'm not talking about her, Sonny." Will was feeling the bitterness pervade his cells, invade his mouth. "Your new girlfriend, the one she was jealous about. You don't talk about her. Are you ashamed of her or of me?"

- I don't have a new girlfriend, Will. She was my last one."

- So, it's someone you have a crush on?" He didn't understand at all. Who wrote that letter?

- Well, I... Yes, there is someone. That makes my days brighter and life much easier to bear but Crystal doesn't know about it." Sonny was certainly not lying now. His face was open like a book that had been read too much. He looked frightened. Will gathered his thoughts, tried and make connections. It was so hard to analyze reality. His own fictional word was easy and followed his will but real people like Sonny were a puzzle he couldn't solve.

- Who's Crystal?

- The girl who kissed you.

- And phoned and wrote you.

- The letter is old. I kept it because sometimes it feels good to be reminded of having been loved, even if it was all wrong. And I won't apologize for that. You don't know my life."

Will felt cold and tired. He crossed his arms on his knees and whispered

- I don't ask for apologies, just explanations. I'm part of this, now, even though I didn't want it."

Sonny knelt and took Will's hand in his. There were no spasms this time. It helped.

"Crystal and I broke up a while ago. We were teens back then and I was struggling with who I was, I felt different. We were together for a year, but it never was really... physical. I have lived my life since we broke up and it turns out, she came to live here because she found out that I would. I think she called my mom or something like that. I had to listen to her, be very firm and be yelled at... and then you sat next to me and..." Sonny's eyes finished the sentence somehow.

Will didn't know what to do. He had no business asking about this crush. Sonny wanted to keep his secrets and given the circumstances, it made sense. He felt bad for all he had said... demanded. Sonny was a red bird to look at and admire from afar, but not expect too much from. He would soon fly away to another woman wanting most of his time and Will finally agreed to that. He and Sonny would be pals, watching films or games once in a while but he had to be intense in his need for friendship. It wasn't as if he could ask for more, Sonny did treat him as someone he cared a lot for.

The melancholic one-note bird song came from the trees above and Will decided to listen and go to sleep. To make peace, he asked:

"I'm going home, it's just round the corner. Can you walk with and finish this conversation? I feel bad, I really do. I don't want to lose what we have."

But even though Sonny followed him, he didn't say anything else and looked at his shoes the whole way. Will didn't press him and started unlocking the door when he heard some indistinct words. He turned and frowned. Sonny repeated

"I'll be out of town, next week. I have a conquest to make. But when I'm back, I'll take you dancing and I'll teach you all the steps I know. And you better say yes." and he was gone.

Allie's birthday was a success. Will checked for the presence of the deranged ex when, they entered the coffee-house, but she never showed up. Sonny made the kids laugh and gave Allie a gift. Something twitched Will's heart for a second. Each adult took a pair of giggling ten-years-old with and took the group to a different location. So, after that, he barely saw him. He sent a text to thank him for being a great friend to him and to Allie. He didn't get an answer.

The snow was covering the ground and the children were crazy with delight. School was even canceled one day and Will skipped class to build snowmen with them. A robin perched on the hat and sang merrily, then noticed the feeder and flew quickly to it. Will took out a board game for the rest of the afternoon and made hot chocolate. Syd gave him a sticky kiss on the cheek and he tickled her until she shrieked.

He was fine, in a dull way. Sometimes, he hardly felt his limbs, at others, he took out his cell, looked at it and put it back. Sonny would contact him when he'd be back. The evening, when his mom went to put the kids to bed, he took out his notebook and poured his heart on the paper. On it, he lay the feelings of being forgotten, of being different. He wrote his hopes and despairs and his needs, which were few and all began with one thing. Being wanted.

The next day, the white turned grey and all nuances of dirty. It was freezing and Will stepped into Common Ground to say hello to Ellie and finally manage to pay for his drink. He tapped his boots against the wall and pushed the door. There were few people, here and there. At the counter, he saw the back of a man wearing a climber's backpack. The equipment was peeking out and Will felt a twinge of admiration, tinted by his strong fear of heights. He saw Chad and Ellie walk to the counter. Chad put his hand on the man's shoulder and whispered to him. Then he waved at Will.

"Hi, Will." The spasms were back. And Will didn't really care. Sonny was sitting here and he looked tired and peaceful.

- Hi, how did the conquest go?

- Great. I hadn't climbed in a while and being on top of mountains is one of the best feelings ever. How are you doing?

- OK. I'm glad to see you.

- Why?" Sonny asked bluntly. Will was taken aback but answered as honestly as he could.

- I missed seeing you, I guess. It's been a while."

Of course, he didn't pay for his coffee. Which was good, because he didn't drink it. Sonny grabbed his arms and took him to his apartment's door. Will came in, taking in the mess. Sonny put the backpack on the couch and just said

"Stay here." Then, he went to his bedroom.

Will waited, feeling like a bird in a cage, but not knowing what the key to freedom what. Ten minutes later, Sonny was back, having changed clothes and shaved.

"You looked nice with that beard."

Sonny was looking better but he must have lost his smile on that mountain. Or his teasing ways. He looked grave and his eyes were the only part of his face that was dancing.

"How nice, Will? Why would you say that?" He took a step to Will, making his heart feel encased in his chest. Will mumbled

- I don't know, I just... I wasn't mocking you. You know I wouldn't.

- I do. And I have to know Will. Do you think I look good?

- You look better, more tired, but less stressed and...

- No, Will, that's not what I'm asking.

A gentle touch of the hand, like a robin hoping on his shoulder, a shade of night in Sonny's eyes, a pull to press their chest together and Will's heart started singing. Sonny's mouth was opening his, with a sweet determination. Suddenly, it all made sense. Here was what he was looking for, here was the wanting, the tenderness. Will joined in the kiss slowly, his lips taking their wings, absorbing the sensations and all the emotions Sonny was sending. Now, he wouldn't argue with Sami about this. Because it wasn't theory any more. It was his life and it was just beginning.