I'm going to say this now, even though I think it is obvious. Because of timeline issues, I had to move Soos' birthday from 13th to 31st. The date doesn't really matter, but I had to say it anyway. Now, shout outs!
gamelover41592- Thanks for your review! It was one of my favorite episodes as well, so writing it was easy.
Female Fantasy Freak- Now problem, and I hope your birthday was a good one. I'm glad you like the Willow/Fiddleford bond. That was actually the reason I didn't make Stan and Ford have another sibling. Fiddleford was as involved in their generation, and I figured that since he eventually went from a crazy old man to a crazy genius, I might as well have Willow bond with him like Mabel and Dipper bond with Stan and Ford. And I'm impressed you were able to calm Bill down enough for him to play you Happy Birthday. And threatening to take away cake works for ANYBODY! Unless you have a death wish, you NEVER get in the way of someone and cake! Thanks for your review!
Disclaimer: I only own Willow and anything else you don't recognize. Everyone/everything else belongs to Alex Hirsch and Disney XD.
Mabel's POV (July 31st)
"I'm telling you, we're forgetting something," Willow insisted as we went into the gift shop. Ever since we had woken up this morning, she had felt like we had forgotten something, and it was starting to get annoying.
"You're just paranoid from yesterday," I told her, heading behind the counter. They started talking about McGucket and the laptop as I grabbed some coins for the vending machine. I walked up to it and put the coins in, hitting the keys for Yumber Jacks. The spiral part started spinning, the bag getting closer and closer and- "NNNOOO!" I yelled as the bag got stuck halfway down. "Everything is terrible forever!"
"What is wrong with that thing?" Dipper muttered, heading behind the counter and opening the cash register. Every time any of us had tried to get something, it never worked properly. Luckily, a few weeks ago, Wendy had found the key under the register tray. Ever since, we had been using it to get snacks. But apparently, Grunkle Stan had caught on, because the key was no longer there.
"Hey dudes!" Soos called, entering from the main part of the house. "You wanna know a trick?" He hit the side of the machine three times, then elbowed it, the front of the machine popping open. "A genius taught me that once," he told us, reaching into the machine and grabbing bags of candy. "This just in: weather stations are calling for a candy blizzard!" He started making it rain candy into our arms.
"Forget taking off the wrappers! I'm eating these now!" I yelled excitedly, shoving candy into my mouth, wrappers and all, regretting it a second later as I started coughing and choking, punching my stomach to try and get the candy out of me. It worked, but it really tired me out, so I sprawled out on the floor as Wills and the boys kept talking.
"Soos, you are the greatest human ever to live," Dipper told Soos, the sound of coins going into the machine.
"No sweat dudes. I'd do anything for the Pines family."
"Soos! I need to scratch myself in two places at once!" Grunkle Stan called from inside the house.
"And I mean anything," Soos told us, pocketing the candy bar he had gotten. "Coming Mr. Pines!" He called, heading back into the house.
"Mabel, you good?" Wills asked me, grabbing my hand and pulling me to my feet. I nodded, getting my breath back.
"That was a mistake," I stated, even though her face said it was obvious.
"Remind me to give Soos his wallet back later," Dipper told us, reaching to put the wallet in his vest when I reached out and stopped him.
"We've never seen Soos' wallet before. Don't you guys wanna learn some Soos secrets?"
"I don't know if we should- WHOA!" Dipper pulled out a membership card to the Laser Tag arena in town. "Soos has a membership to Laser Tag? I didn't know they let adults in there."
"And look," I gasped, pulling a piece of meat labeled 4 EMERGENCIES out of the wallet. "Emergency salami! Soos, my respect for you has grown."
"Look at this," Willow said, holding out Soos' driver's license. Most ID pictures never come out well anyway, but Soos clearly hadn't been ready for the flash, and he had some serious red-eye going.
"Jésus Alzamirano Ramirez," Dipper read from the license. "Organ donor. Birthday July 31st." It hit all of us at the same time.
"I TOLD you we were forgetting something!" Willow yelled, obviously glad the feeling she had in the back of her head had disappeared. "We have to make it up to him somehow."
"We can throw him a surprise party," I said excitedly, already picturing everything in my head. "Frankly, I love planning everything, but having a surprise party for us one year would be nice."
"Surprise!" Out of nowhere, Candy appeared, throwing confetti on me. I turned and slowly and glared at her.
"Too little, too late, Chiu," I growled. Candy sighed and walk back outside.
"One, where did she come from?" Willow questioned. "And two, you do realize our birthday isn't for another month?" She reminded me. Man, we only had a month left up here. Wow.
"This isn't about us, it's about Soos," I stated, putting thoughts of us leaving town out of my head for now, looking up at the ceiling. "Party team, MOVE OUT!"
GFF
Since Candy and Grenda had shown up, it only took us an hour to get everything together. Dipper and Willow had gone into town to get party food while Candy, Grenda and I raided the Shack for decorations. By the time they got back, we were almost done. There was just a few things missing…
"More exclamation points! More I say!" I yelled at Grenda as Dipper and Wills put the food out on the table.
"Wow, you guys thought of everything," Grenda said, painting a bunch more exclamation points on the banner.
"Well, when you've shared every birthday with someone, you learn how to make them perfect," I told her, grabbing Candy as she passed by. "Go get Soos," I said, handing her a blindfold. Candy ran off, giving us time to double check that everything was in place.
"They're coming!" Dipper called in a whisper, the four of us ducking down behind the table, shushing each other repeatedly. For some reason, we heard Soos say something about a giant hummingbird, whatever that had to do with anything. Then Candy stepped back and made a gesture to us, telling us that we should get into position. As soon as we were ready, she stepped back.
"Three, two, one…" Candy said, and Soos pulled the blindfold off.
"SURPRISE!" The five of us yelled, me walking up to him and grabbing his hand, leading him around. "Happy birthday, you king on Earth! We got everything you love! Cake flavored pizza, pizza flavored cake, and one more treat…" I pulled a curtain aside, revealing Toby Determined in a sparkly red leotard, a big blue bow-tie around his neck, dancing to showtunes under a sign that said THE RAZZ DAZZLER.
"Razzle dazzle friends," Toby said, dancing backwards to grab a Polaroid camera. "It's the Razz-Dazzler! This is what my life has become."
"Everyone pose for the Birthday Smiles Memory Album!" I yelled, the five of us gathering around Soos for the picture. Grenda, the only one tall enough, went beside him, the rest of us falling in in front as Toby snapped the picture. He handed the camera off to me, the picture developing surprisingly quickly. Instead of everyone smiling and looking happy, Soos just looked shocked and depressed.
"Soos, what's wrong?" I asked him, the look in the picture still on his face.
"I, uh, it's, it's nothing!" He stuttered, taking his hat off of his head and squeezing it in his fist so hard his knuckles turned white. "I… I gotta go fix a pipe or something," he decided, even though it was obviously a lie. He walked away, downcast. We were missing something here. Something must have happened, but we had no idea what it was.
"What's up with Soos?" Wendy questioned, she and Grunkle Stan coming around the corner. As soon as they saw the decorations, Wendy face-palmed and Grunkle Stan pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Kids, you didn't," Grunkle Stan muttered into his hand.
"What is it?" Dipper asked them.
"You guys didn't know, so it's not your fault," Wendy started to explain, "But Soos hates his birthday." Willow went to interrupt her, but she cut her off. "We have no idea. It's a total mystery. Some weird personal biz." I went to interrupt her this time, but I was cut off as well. "We've literally tried everything."
"I even petitioned the government to have this day removed from calendars," Grunkle Stan told us, holding up a mugshot of himself, the word BANNED stamped over his face in red letters. "Now I'm not allowed on airplanes."
"What happened to your hand?" I asked, noticing bandages wrapped around it as he put the mugshot back in his jacket.
"Cut it on a pipe," he responded, shrugging it off. I nodded and we went to look at Soos around the corner of the Shack. He was sitting on the steps, staring down at something in his hands. I think it was a postcard. But whatever it was, he was staring at it depressed.
"We have to do something," I whispered, feeling guilty about everything. Now that I thought about it, Soos had never actually told us when his birthday was. We had just figured it out on our own. If he had wanted a party, he would have told us when his birthday was. We had thrown him a party without him wanting one, and now he was depressed, all because of us.
"I don't know guys," Wendy told us. "Not blaming you, but don't you think you've done enough? Maybe we should just leave him be, you know?"
"Exactly why we have to do something to cheer him up," Dipper responded. "This is our fault, and we have to do something to fix it. We just have to try harder."
"You're right, guys," I said encouragingly, shooting finger-guns into the air. "It's time for us to bring out the big guns!"
'Big Gunz' was the name of the Laser Tag place in town, which, according to Grunkle Stan, used to be a mattress store, which explained why the walls were just spray-painted mattresses. At least it was easy getting Soos in the car, although he was suspicious about the blindfold.
"Alright guys," he said as we lead him into the building. "Blindfold me once, shame on you. Blindfold me twice-" He stopped, moving his head around, even though he couldn't see anything. "Hot dog smell? Sticky floors? Future sounds?" He reached up and pulled the blindfold off, recognizing where he was. "How'd you dudes know I love laser tag?"
"We definitely didn't rifle through your wallet," I told him, laughing nervously as we went over to put on the laser vests.
"I don't know if I'm up for this today, dudes," Soos told us, sliding the vest on anyway.
"Soos, we're sorry," Willow told him. "At least let us try and make it up to you."
"We promise, you're gonna have a great time," Dipper added encouragingly.
"I guess I could give it a shot," he decided, smiling and falling into line behind us. We were on one team, Grunkle Stan, Wendy, Candy and Grenda on the other. The announcement board counted down from three, the doors opening, Grunkle Stan's team running in. We followed them, Soos tying his shoe as we started running in. It was different than I had pictured. The room was all white light, two laser guys that looked vaguely familiar standing in the middle of the room.
"This is even cooler than I imagined," I said happily, walking up to the lighter guy. "Look at how real these laser guys are!" I kicked out, hitting two solid kicks in danger zone, but the guy didn't even flinch, and the metal part of his suit lit up and spoke. "Kick deflected! Thank you for buying Digi-cod, the smart codpiece!"
"What the heck is- oh no." I turned around and saw bars of light running from ceiling to floor, Soos, in the laser tag area, standing up and walking towards us. The wall filled in, Soos disappearing, trapping us in the room. I ran up to the wall and started kicking it, but it didn't do anything.
"Nice try," the guy told us, bringing our attention back to them. "But that's solid time-tanium, kid! There's only one way out of here!"
"Through me!" A familiar voice said. Off in one corner, there was a body-shaped screen of static, and a bald head with goggles appeared, floating in the air. The owner's body flickered, showing a mansion, a place in town, and the ocean, before going gray. "Through me," the person repeated, slapping his head for messing up his dramatic reveal, but we still recognized him, and now I knew why the other two were familiar.
"The time traveler guy!" I yelled, shocked. I had never expected to see him again, so much so I had forgotten his name. "What did you say your name was again? Blendo… Blondin…"
"Blar-blar," Dipper supplied.
"It's Blendin!" The guy snapped at us. "Blendin Blenjamin Blandin! How could you not know my name after you ruined my life?"
"Listen Baldwin," Willow told him, stepping forward. "A lot of stuff was going that day, and we have no idea what the heck you're talking about."
"Then allow me to explain," he responded. "After you kids stole my time machine to win your stupid pig or something, I was cast out of the Time Anomaly Removal Crew, my entire life's purpose. I was given ten squared life sentences in time prison. Every day since then I've been planning my revenge, and now, the time has come!" Well, that's just great! Like we needed an evil time traveler to show up, bent on revenge, on our best friends birthday, right when we were trying to make it up to him because we threw him a surprise party that he never wanted. Sometimes, I really hated the weirdness of this town.
"Look, we're really sorry about all that, but we're in the middle of something really important right now," Dipper told them, exasperated.
"It's our friends' birthday today and we promised him we wouldn't leave his side," I elaborated, causing Blendin to spaz out.
"You think some dumb birthday matters right now? Do you have any idea where you are?"
"In a small room with a-"
"Don't be smart, girl," Blendin snapped at Willow. "Welcome… to Globnar!" The wall behind him opened, bars of light blocking the way out, but allowing us to see into an arena, similar to that of a game stadium, but in the center were different groups of people fighting each other in a variety of events.
"Is this a reality show?" I questioned, gasping. "Are we in Japan?" Some of the events really did look like they were part of a Japanese game show, but as we kept watching, I realized there was a different feel to everything. More Hunger-Games-y than joking or funny.
"It's gladiatorial time combat!" Blendin explained, the jumbo screen at the far end of the stadium showing one guy standing on a pedestal above another guy, a glowing orange ball with an hourglass in it floating beside him. "The winner gets a precious time wish, and then decides the loser's fate!" On screen, the guy on the pedestal aimed his thumb down, the other guy disappearing in a flash of purple light. "And the three of you have officially been challenged." Blendin turned around and called to one of the soldiers, leaving us to stare at the events in the arena.
"We need to get out of here!" I whisper-yelled. We turned around, looking around the room for a way to get out of here. There wasn't much, just the six of us and whatever we had on us, but it was enough.
"I have an idea," Dipper stated, laying out the plan.
"You remember how to use that thing, right?" Willow questioned. If I had learned anything from Back to the Future and Doctor Who, it was that you had to know how to use your time machine, otherwise the Butterfly Effect would be the least of your concerns.
"We got this," Dipper assured us, putting his fist out. "Pines Inc.?"
"Pines Inc." Willow and I repeated, the three of us fist bumping and moving into position. Willow went over to where the dark-skinned guard, whose nametag said Dundgren, was painting Blendin's face, while Dipper snuck behind the lighter skinned guard.
"Oh my stars!" I said, staring up at the guard. "Could it be? My little… Lolph!" I doubted I was pronouncing that right, but he didn't bust us yet, so I glanced at Dipper, who was making keep going gestures. "It's me! You're great, great, great, great… great… great… great-grandmother! From the past time." Please work, please work, please-
"Gam gam?" He asked, stars in his eyes. Dipper pulled the time machine off of the holster and backed up, walking towards me.
"You can't let them escape!" Blendin yelled suddenly. I whirled around and saw Blendin and Dundgren starting to move towards us. Willow ran forward and stopped in front of them, squeezing the face paint tubes, hitting them square in the face, causing them to trip over each other as they tried to jump at us. She dropped the paint tubes and ran over us, grabbing Dipper's arm as he pulled the tape out.
"Hurry! Back to Soos' birthday!" I yelled, taking his other arm just as he hit the button, sending us back in time.
It was different then last time we had done this. It still felt like we were being sucked into a vacuum, but I had my eyes open. The last times, all I had been able to see was blackness, but this time, it was like we were watching a movie. Events were flashing by at light speed, giving us glimpses of the past, and some stuff that I had serious doubts have happened in the last 24 hours. Suddenly, the vacuum feeling was replaced by a feeling of falling. We crashed down on something not entirely soft, but softer than the floor.
"Are we back?" Willow questioned as we sat up, looking around. Instead of being in the laser tag area, or even somewhere familiar, we were sitting on a mattress, a dozen or so other mattresses scattered around the room, people walking around, looking at them.
"The laser place is a mattress store!" Dipper stated, face-palming. "We went too far in the past!"
"Time travel man!" I yelled, exasperated. "Why you gotta be so complicated?" The air started tingling, like how you feel when you've just built up a lot of static electricity and you're reaching to touch something metal. A small burst of light appeared over one of the other beds. We ducked under the one we had landed on just in time to see Blendin and the soldiers land on the bed beside us.
"It looks like they overshot their destination by ten years," Dundgren stated, the three of them stepping off the mattress.
"I don't see them!" Blendin snapped, wiping off the face paint he had put on. "You better find those kids!"
"You'll get your justice Blendin," Lolph assured him.
"I'm gonna keep stammering until you find them!" Blendin said, beginning to stutter as he walked out of the store.
"I hate that guy," Lolph said, he and Dundgren following Blendin out. Once we were sure they were gone, we crawled out from under the bed.
"Okay, we just have to go forward ten years," Dipper muttered to himself. "We can be back before Soos even realizes we were gone."
"And I'm using the time machine this time," Wills told Dipper as we started looking around for the time machine.
"Guys!" I called when I found it by the leg of bunk beds. I reached down and picked up the machine, which was now bent and sparking slightly. "It's busted! Can you fix it?"
"Maybe." "Probably," they replied. "We're going to need tools," Dipper whispered, fiddling with the machine. "And I think I know where to get some," he commented, pointing at a sign outside that said MYSTERY SHACK, ONE MILE in bold letters. We walked out of the shop, and I immediately wished I had a camera on me.
"Everything is the same-y, but also different-y," I said in awe as we started walking down Main Street. The town itself looked pretty much the same, just ten years newer, and there were a few things I hadn't seen before (a dance studio) and other things that were missing (the statue of Nathaniel Northwest). But the people were definitely different. Most of the people we knew from the future were at the age where ten years makes all the difference. They were still recognizable, but the style and behavior differences were noticeable. It was weird, like how you feel when your house has been redecorated and you're still not use to the differences.
"We wanna lay low," Dipper whispered, purposely pulling us to the other side of the street to avoid having to walk past the Mr. and Mrs. Gleeful, who were pushing a baby carriage, the top of a white head sticking out. "We don't wanna butterfly effect anything like-" We rounded the corner and almost crashed into two familiar little girls on tricycles.
"Sorry," the darker girl with magenta hair told us. Her friend, a pale red-head, leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Wendy thinks you're cute!" She told us, pointing at Dipper.
"Tambry! Shut up!" Little Wendy yelled, pushing Little Tambry off her tricycle, her cheeks going as red as her hair.
"Thank you," Dipper said, blushing almost as badly as Little Wendy was. "I mean, you're super young, so this is weird."
"Now you know how she feels, creep," I told him, the three of us walking on as Little Tambry climbed back on her tricycle, the two of them pedaling in the opposite direction. Now I really wished I had a camera on me. Telling Wendy about this adventure would be a lot better if I had a picture to show her along with it, but what can you do?
We made it back to the Shack in record time. From the outside, the Shack looked almost exactly the same as it did in the future. The only difference was that the S in SHACK was in the correct place, something that was weird seeing after so long of it being messed up. Grunkle Stan, who looked pretty much the same, just with less gray hair, was outside leading a tour, which made sneaking into the Gift Shop a piece of cake.
"There's an old Polaroid in my workshop," Wills told Dipper, who nodded and took off as I started looking around the gift shop. I noticed a little boy, probably right around our age, staring up and the vending machine, punching the side of it with his fist, a bag of candy stuck halfway like how it was this morning for me.
"Allow me," I told the kid, walking past him. "You just need to know a guy on the inside." I hit the side three times, then elbowed it, just like Soos had shown me, the door popping open. I reached in and grabbed his candy bag and a few others, then turned around, reaching to hand them off to the kid when I recognized him.
"Thanks dude," Soos told me, accepting the candy, oblivious to the fact that I had practically frozen. "You must be some kind of genius," he added, looking around the gift shop, leaving me to stare at him. His clothes were different, of course, but he had the same teeth and glint in his eyes, like he was always thinking of a joke he had found funny. I ran up to the others, who had fixed the machine and made a stack of Polaroids, and grabbed their heads, making them look at where Soos had started looking at the question mark shirts.
"Oh, my, God." "No way." They breathed, recognizing him instantly.
"Mi precioso," an older woman, who was clearly Abuelita, again younger and with less gray hair, said, walking up to Soos and leading him out of the gift shop. "You keep wandering off. You don't want to be late for your big day."
"Big day?" I repeated once they were gone, looking at them excitedly. "This could be the birthday where that personal biz went down! We could find out why Soos hates his birthday!" They came out of their shock just long enough to glance at each other before agreeing.
"But we have to be quick," Dipper reminded us as we walked out of the Gift Shop and into the woods. He looked at Wills and held up the pictures he had taken of the time machine. "What we should do with these?"
"I have an idea," She assured him, leading the way into a familiar clearing. She walked up to one tree and hit the side of it. Sure enough, the clanking sound of metal rang out. She then opened the panel, revealing the controls. She flipped the switch and the hidden compartment on the ground opened up.
"It's still there," Dipper stated, bending down and pulling out the familiar book, which looked the same. Dipper placed the pictures in the compartment, then began flipping through the Journal, looking to see if there was anything that our version had left out. "It's exactly the same," he said after a minute, placing the Journal back in the compartment. Wills flipped the switches again, closing the compartment before closing the door in the tree.
"Now we can go to Soos' birthday," She said, leading the way through the trees. We made it into town without any trouble, the people walking around not paying any attention to us. When we got to Soos' street, we snuck behind the other houses on the road and walked up to the party in the back yard, hiding behind some bushes, staying far enough away that we wouldn't be seen, but close enough that we could hear everything.
"Who's a handsome birthday boy?" An older girl asked Soos, pinching his cheek. "It's you!"
"Soos, you are such a lady's man," Abuelita said, coming up to Soos, a pink cake box in her arms.
"She's my cousin, Abuelita, gross!" Soos told her, smiling slightly.
"I got you a race car cake," Abuelita told him, opening the lid, showing him a blue cake with a red race car decoration on the top.
"I don't see why Soos hates his birthday," Dipper commented. "This looks great!"
"Maybe this isn't the right birthday?" Wills offered. We just knew that something had happened to make Soos hate his birthday. We didn't know when it had happened, and there were ten years between today and 2012. A lot could have happened in ten years. But there was a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, like anxiety, that told me we were at the right party.
"No, I can feel it," I whispered seriously. We looked back at the party, where Soos was licking the icing off of the bottom of the racecar when another kid took the seat at the head of the table.
"Sorry dude, but could you move seats?" Soos asked the boy. "That's the seat of honor."
"Who's it for?" The kid questioned skeptically. It was Soos' party. Why wouldn't he be at the head?
"It's for my dad actually." Soos told him, smiling shyly. "I haven't seen him in like, eight years, but he's coming today!" There was a bit of silence, but then Soos stood up excitedly, straightening himself out. "That must be him!" He stood up and went inside, the three of us sneaking around the outside of the house and looking in through a window in the living room. Soos took a few deep breathes and opened the door, the smile on his face disappearing.
"Postcard for Soos," the mailman said, handing him the postcard before leaving. I couldn't read what was written on the back, but from the front, it looked like it was from New Orleans. With the actions of someone used to doing something, but hating having to do it, Soos flipped the card over and read what was written on the back out loud.
"Sorry Champ, couldn't make it this year. Real busy again. See you next year for sure. Dad."
"Don't sweat it cuz," a young boy, who I think was his cousin Reggie, told him, patting his shoulder, although Soos' depression was obvious. "You'll see him next year."
"Yeah, next year," Soos said sadly. He reached under the couch and pulled out an old shoebox, placing the postcard in it before closing it back up and sliding it back under the couch. He stood up and started walking to the main part of the house. "I'm gonna go lay down. You party without me dudes."
"Wait! What about your presents?" Abuelita called after him, holding up a large rectangle present with legs sticking out of the bottom. Soos said nothing, didn't even turn around. He walked into his room and slammed the door behind him. Abuelita turn to look at Reggie. "Go tell everyone the party's over," she told him. He nodded and went back outside as Abuelita went into the kitchen. The three of us ducked down under the window ledge, leaning with our backs against the side of the house.
"Oh my…" "I can't believe…" "But why would…" Piedmont didn't have a lot of Hispanic people living in it, not even San Francisco had that many. But we were from California, so learning about the Spanish culture was kind of a given. They were VERY family oriented, and while I knew that Soos' father was not Hispanic, him leaving was huge.
"No wonder Soos hates his birthday," Dipper realized. "It's the day he realized his dad wasn't coming back."
"So, how much partying can fix that?" I questioned, trying for a joke, but it fell flat. "This is awful."
"How can we give Soos a happy birthday now?" Wills asked, thinking out loud. "I mean, this isn't something we can just solve in the next ten minutes. This goes beyond anything we know how to fix." I knew how much she hated to admit it, but none of us had no idea what we could possibly do to fix this. Emotions aren't something you just reprogram. It was a long process.
"Maybe we could erase his memory?" I offered, but shook my head even as I said it. "That would just make things even more complicated."
"Maybe we could go back in time and change things?" Wills suggested, but Dipper shook his head.
"Even if we did know when to go back to and how to fix things, we could Butterfly Effect and mess everything up. What we need is a way to go back and change things without worrying about the effects. We need a way to make sure things work out how we want them to."
"But how can we do that?" I asked, then from behind me I heard a familiar whining voice. I stood up and glanced around the corner, Blendin being led between the two soldiers, weird glowing magenta handcuffs around his wrists. "Hide!" I yelled, running back and grabbing their wrists, dragging them behind a tree in the yard.
"Trace their chrono-signatures," Lolph barked, he and Dundgren pulling out weird sensors. Lolph went over to the other side of the yard while Dundgren stayed behind to watch Blendin, who had taken a seat on the picnic table.
"Man, the sooner I defeat those kids in Globnar, the sooner I can win my time wish," Blendin said to himself. Dundgren glanced at him, smiling blissfully.
"Tell you what I'd do if I had a time wish," he said longingly. "Retire early. Spend more time with the kids."
"Blah blah blah blah blah, with the kids!" Blendin nagged. "Don't you know a time wish can literally do anything? Any impossible problem solved, just like that? I mean, imagine the possibilities!" Now, we weren't really religious, but right then and there, I had to give thanks to whatever higher power there was that seemed to always give us the answer to our problems.
"Do you really think we can win Globnar?" I questioned, although I was already sold on the idea.
"The challenges can't be that hard, and from what I can see, it's the only chance we have," Dipper told me, looking towards the house. Through an open window, we could see Soos' room, Soos sitting on his bed depressed, an untouched plate of dinosaur cookies on the nightstand beside him. "Besides, Soos would do the same for us." We took one last look at each other, then stood up and laced our fingers behind our heads.
"We surrender!" Willow called, the three of them looking at us, Blendin with glee, the others with apprehension. They pulled out weird looking guns and aimed them at us.
"Careful, they're from the past," Lolph ordered. "They might have powder muskets or slap bracelets." Sure, let's go with that.
"Guys, no tricks this time," Dipper promised them. "We're ready to accept your challenge, okay?"
"YES!" Blendin yelled happily. "Let the Globnar begin! Prepare… for… GLOBNNNAAAA-" His scream was cut off as Lolph pressed a few buttons on his watch, teleporting us into the center of the Globnar arena, the sound of fans chanting GLOBNAR repeatedly echoing all around us, an hourglass insignia on the center of the floor.
If you've even been on the field/court of a sports stadium, people watching or not, you know how it feels standing there, looking up at the rows of seats circling around you. Now imagine that feeling with the stadium, which is at least twice the size of a normal one, filled up, thousands of people staring at you, and you're in weird glowing futuristic handcuffs about to fight probably the worst time traveler in the history of ever who's bent on revenge because you (unintentionally) ruined his life, while at the same time, you're trying to win an all-powerful time wish in order for your best friend to meet his father, and you'll pretty much know how it felt for us to be standing there.
"SILENCE!" A deep, booming voice echoed around the stadium, silencing everyone in it instantly. We looked over to where a hole had opened up underneath the Jumbotron, staring as the owner of the voice floated up out of the hole.
"That is one big baby," I commented in shock. A HUGE baby had appeared, floating in some weird metal diaper like thing. And when I say HUGE, I mean like the size of a skyscraper huge. In the center of his forehead, just above the eyes, was an hourglass symbol, similar to what was on the side of the time machine. Aside from the size, the deep voice, and the hourglass birthmark (because I have no idea what else to call it), he looked like an average baby. That was until one overzealous fan yelled and the baby shot lasers from his eyes, vaporizing the person on the spot.
"Welcome Globnar tributes!" The baby boomed, his voice six octaves deeper than anyone we knew. "I have a very important nap to get to, so we're going to make this quick. You each have a chance to settle your time feud through gladiatorial combat."
"You have until Time Baby finishes drinking the cosmic sand in this hourglass," a robot said, floating up behind us, a baby bottle the size of a school bus held in its robotic arms.
"Question," Willow asked, glancing at Blendin. "How long does it usually take Time Baby to drink that?"
"Let's just say Overtime lasts longer than the game itself," Blendin told her, accepting a bo-staff Dundgren handed him. "But it doesn't matter. When I get that time wish, you'll be wishing you were never born. Or you'll be wishing you were born, because I'm gonna wish you were never born!"
"Dream on!" Dipper snapped threateningly. "There's three of us!"
"And we have hair!" I added, to which Blendin smirked.
"Oh yeah?" He asked, stepping forward. He whirled the bo-staff around his body, spinning it like a helicopter blade. That was impressive by normal standards, but add in the fact that he had handcuffs on, it was enough to make us nervous. "Well I have training! What'd you think I did in prison all that time?"
"Uh oh," Wills muttered, the three of us realizing at the same time that we had never actually gotten the rules for any of this, but it was too late now.
"Let the Globnar… BEGIN!" Time Baby boomed, the scoreboard lighting up, our handcuffs falling off. Blendin let out a battle cry, and the game was on.
Time-Baby-knows-how-long later, the four of us shut the door on the Cyclocks. And yes, it is what it sounds like. Some time ago, we had all lost count of everything. It wasn't really about the score anymore as much as getting to the next challenge, although the score was still important. Anything you could think of, we did. From playing chess to eating hot dogs, we did all of it, and the four of us were all exhausted. The Mabel Juice I had been able to make for us during a break wasn't helping much, neither did the fact that we were beat up, cut and scraped, among other things. It wasn't as bad as when we had fought Gideon, or even when Bill possessed Dipper, but it was close.
"Very good," Time Baby told us, pulling the bottle out of his mouth, which was now almost completely empty. "You have escaped the Cyclocks."
"Yes!" Blendin breathed, looking at the scoreboard. We were tied, 763 points each. "Blendin for the almost win!"
"There is only one final challenge for Globnar," Time Baby told us dramatically, the now-familiar red glow coming from the floor. "An ancient game, thousands of years old, chosen for its exemplification of pure strategy. The ancient art… OF LASER TAG!" All around us, a laser tag arena appeared, along with sensor vests and weapons appearing on our shoulders and in our hands. And floating at the top of a staircase was the glowing orange Time Wish. "The one who touches the victory orb first will win!"
"Laser tag? Seriously?" Dipper questioned. After everything else we've had do to, laser tag seemed kind of timid.
"It may not seem that challenging now kids," Blendin told us, holstering his weapon. "But this version of Laser Tag allows for actual, weaponless fighting. And just wait until the turn on the fog machines and strobe lights. You'll be done for! You just wait until-"
"GOT IT!" Wills called excitedly, standing on top of the staircase, the time wish floating just beside her head. "Game over Blendin!" She yelled, and touched the orb, a white light coming out of it, Time Baby's burp resonating out, signaling the end of the game.
The next few seconds were blurs of hugging, cheering, yelling and just all out chaos that was eventually silenced by Time Baby's booming voice saying, "IT IS FINISHED!" Time Baby floated down beside us as the crowd calmed down, so by the time he was next to us, the only sound came from a seething Blendin.
"You have made victory in Globnar," Time Baby told us, hovering the Time Wish above his hand. Before I give you your Time Wish, tell us. What fate have you decided for the loser?"
"DEATH!" I yelled, causing everyone, even the robot guards and a good number of fans to look at me in shock. "Sorry, everyone. Not really. Got carried away…" I turned around and grabbed my siblings' shoulders, gathering the three of us into a huddle.
"So Blendin was trying to wish us out of existence," Wills recapped. "But it was kind of our fault his life got ruined."
"Yeah, and it's not like he's that much of a bad guy," I added, all of us agreeing on that count.
"Treat him right now, he turns out better later?" Dipper confirmed, to which we all nodded. We broke apart and turned to look up at Time Baby. "As long as you keep an eye on him, at least for a little while, we'd like to set Blendin free."
"And we'd like you to restore his former position in the Time Anomaly Removal Crew," Willow added.
"And give him pretty hair!" I finished. Time Baby shrugged and the hourglass symbol on his head lit up while the crowd sighed and Blendin just looked stunned.
"What, really? You'd do all that for me?" As he said those words, his handcuffs fell off and a mustache shaped tuft of hair appeared on his head. "You gave me my job back?!"
"We made you lose your job in the first place. Seemed only fair," I told him honestly. "And besides, we were only in it to get that." I pointed to the glowing Time Wish that was now floating just above our heads.
"Yes children," Time Baby said, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "What is it you want for your Time Wish?" I'll admit, right there I was about to tell them everything and just get it over with, but Willow spoke up before me.
"Thank you, but we did not win the Wish for us," she told him, which was probably the better thing to do anyway. It was Soos' life. He should get to make the decision.
"If not you, then who?" Time Baby questioned. "Who is worthy to receive such power?"
It actually took less time than I had thought it would to explain everything and get some of our questions answered. Blendin even gave us something that looked kind of like a Sonic Screwdriver. He explained that should we ever need his help or the assistance of the Future in general, all we had to do was activate the machine and it would automatically alert Time Baby and his army that something was wrong and that they would come ASATP (As Soon As Time Permits).
Once everything calmed down, Blendin escorted us back to the past, making us appear in the middle of the Laser Tag arena, Soos staring at us in shock. "Dudes?" He questioned, the three of us running (as best as we could) up to him and tackling him with hugs, talking over each other to explain everything.
"The point is," I said when we realized we weren't making any sense. "Soos, we have a way to fix your birthday."
"How do you… why did… but you… HUH?" He stammered. Blendin stepped forward, tapping a few buttons on his watch, the glowing Time Wish appearing in midair.
"The kids won a Time Wish for you," he explained calmly, it clear that he had done a lot of this before. "It gives the wisher the ability to alter the timeline in any way they choose."
"But what about all the Butterfly Effect stuff?" Soos questioned, making an effort to stay far away from the orb.
"Don't worry about that," Blendin assured him, taking a step back, leaving the orb floating right in front of Soos' face. Soos glanced at us, clearly asking for more information, not that I blamed him. I didn't even understand half of what was going on.
"We won that to give you the chance to see your dad, but ultimately the choice is yours," Dipper told him. At the mention of his dad, Soos went pale and unconsciously reached into his back pocket.
"You mean I can see my dad just by touching this thing?" He questioned, pulling out the ten-year-old postcard from New Orleans. He glanced at the three of us, and suddenly I was aware of how bad we must look. "And you dudes battled futuristic stuff and time itself just to get this for me?"
"You would have done the same for us," I reminded him. He nodded and tucked the postcard back in his pocket, coming to a decision.
"Alright," he said, reaching out. "Here goes nothing." His hand hit the Time Wish, and everything went white.
I wasn't sure what I was expecting to happen, but I did not expect to feel like we were Regenerating. It was like a fire had lit in my chest and was slowly spreading outward. When the fire died, I felt better than I had in weeks. We were completely cleaned up, bruises, cuts and scrapes all gone, like nothing had ever happened. Even the small pain I had in my wrist since the Bunker incident was gone.
"Bam! I fixed you up! Enjoy dudes!" Soos told us happily, which didn't make ANY sense.
"What about meeting your dad?" I asked him. He just smiled and held out the postcard.
"Birthdays are supposed to be spent with the people who care about you," he told us, looking at the card in disgust. "But you know what? My dad sent me the same postcard for years and didn't even care enough to visit or even call me once, let alone fight a futuristic warrior battle like you dudes. I've been being ridiculous this whole time. Whoever my dad was, wherever he is, he can take a hike! You dudes are my family now, and I can't ask for a better one." He bent down and grabbed all three of us in one giant group hug. "Thanks for giving me the best birthday ever."
"And that's why you don't have to worry about the Butterfly Effect," Blendin said happily, smiling at us. "Although you should have been able to get something else."
"Oh yeah!" Soos smiled and pulled a slice of pizza out of his pocket. "I wished for this slice of infinite pizza." He took a bite off the point and swallowed, the pizza regenerating to how it was before. "And it can do that for infinity."
"That's a good time wish," Blendin said, taking a step back and hitting a few buttons on his watch. "Well I have to get back. Kids, thanks again for everything, and if you ever need help, you know what to do. Carpe diem," he told us, and disappeared.
"There's still ten minutes before Laser Tag closes," Soos told us, tucking his pizza back into his pocket. "You dudes wanna play?"
"Of course!" "Duh!" "Obviously!" We told him, heading back to the arena. It was so much fun, even if it wasn't much. And the best part was that as we left, sitting in the trashcan was the postcard from ten years ago, crumbled up, no longer important. Like Blendin said, Carpe diem. Sometimes you have to forget about and move on from the past in order to have a better future.