How was is possible for simple kisses to have such a cheering effect? Will was used to his melancholic state and here he was, happy beyond belief, feeling light and different. He was still nervous but it was bearable. One of his concern though was what Sonny would plan to do on this date the next day. He was a man who climbed mountains, who was outspoken, who wanted to dance. Will felt he was making giant steps, eager to meet Sonny's expectation and he had to remind himself to stay true to his nature.
What he was sure about was that he was grateful. For Sonny to show him he was desirable, that he was worth it. He wondered what he would be bringing in exchange. Maybe he could write him something...
He put the kids to bed, pecking kisses on Syd's cheek and spending a few minutes talking with Allie. Johnny wanted a story. He closed the door and went to his room. Should he write an email? He didn't have Sonny's address. So, it would be a letter. He took his headset and looked for a deep, emotional but quiet song. He sat and stared at the blank paper. Should he be cautious? Poetic? Rough? He closed his eyes and pictured Sonny walking to him, intent on kissing him for the first time. That very moment Will's heart had twisted. That moment he knew himself and things made sense. Maybe he should start with that. He wrote for half an hour, then yawned and went to bed. The unfinished letter lay on the desk, his most important piece of writing.
He didn't finish it the next day and left the room wearing the deep blue shirt he got the previous year at his birthday and had only worn once. The air was warmer so he just put a jacket over it. He didn't want to put too much effort on his appearance, as it was something he easily forgot completely, but he still wanted to see Sonny's eyes twinkle when he would see him. He had put off leaving to a few minutes too late, helping with the chores and talking with his mom, learning all about her new boyfriend, keeping his own a secret for now.
He walked directly to the back of the coffee-house, the back of his knees trembling a little. He wanted to start the evening with Sonny on his own, only for him. Was it good to want that? Was it selfish? Sonny opened the door and it didn't matter. His eyes did twinkle and his smile opened a door in Will's heart from which a tiny blue bird started singing happily.
Will waited on the doorstep, for a second then remembered Sonny treating him like someone he was close to, from the start, letting him in his intimacy. So he just walked in and took off his jacket. Sonny coughed and walked to the kitchen. Was Will going to get new muffins? It seems it was all he was eating these days. But Sonny grabbed his keys for the counter and wiggled them. So much for spending time alone. Will turned to take back his jacket but Sonny was faster than him and gently helped him with his sleeves. He leaned to Will's face and placed a delicate kiss on his lips. Will smiled and asked
"So, where a we going?
- You'll see...
- Hum, you remember you didn't actually teach me how to dance ? So if you were planning to...
- Don't worry we're not going to dance."
He had pictured Sonny with an old secondhand car and was surprised to see a brand new dark station wagon. Sonny let him in and sat at the wheel, his whole body turned toward Will who said
"That's a nice car.
- Thanks. It's a present from my parents. It's been weird using it, last time I drove, it was a european stick very small car.
- I did drive stick, my... my brother's father has an english car and I learned how to drive on it." He had been about to say 'my ex-stepfather' but it sounded weird. Sonny nodded and started the engine.
Will planned on explaining he didn't like being in the dark, about anything, even for a well-meant surprise. He looked nervously through the window, his hands on his laps. Sonny was silent mostly. Will glanced at him. His face was a careful blank.
"Are we going far?
- Why?" He was still wearing the blank expression. Will didn't know what to make of it.
- If we do, we could listen to some music?"
Sonny tapped on the CD player button and the local radio started playing. Will wasn't found of their musical choice but could not let go of his shyness. What if Sonny felt he was being too snobbish? He wasn't, not really. He just was very careful in his tastes and didn't adhere to hype. He took his time and stayed faithful. He guessed he would be like that in this relationship too.
Sonny parked and turned his still-buckled torso to Will.
"OK, Will, did I do something wrong?" The direct question was even worse for Will. But he had to answer.
- Not really, I'm just not used to dating. Or going out. I would feel better if I knew where we're going. I'm sorry, I guess you wanted to surprise me but that's not really easy for me.
- I see." Sonny looked grave now and Will waited, his insides remembering him he was attracted to him like hell.
Sonny unbuckled and took Will's hand in his, gently. He whispered
"I'm not used to dating you, either. I'm not sure whether you're in or not." He sighed. Was he criticizing or just explaining? His tone was neutral. He went on "In fact, earlier in the car, you were like a little bird, nervous and cute and I felt that if I cracked the window open, you would have flown away and leave me there.
- I wouldn't leave. But I'm shy."
Sonny grinned.
- I'm aware and I love it. It is endearing and it makes me want to be a better person so that I can keep you.
- You don't have to change, you're a great guy. I guess we just have to know each other's boundaries and expectations. One of mine is that I like to have music. Soft and harmonious if possible.
- So if there are no birds around, you switch to digital?
- Yep!" Will was smiling broadly now. Sonny let go of his hand to get out of the car.
They entered the Asian restaurant. It was an all-you-can-eat. So no need for complex interactions with waiters. Given how young his siblings were, Sami had rarely took him to fancy places and his father was a bar type of person. Will liked that Sonny was keeping it simple. He said so and even kissed him lightly on the cheek. Sonny kept his smile plastered on his face for the rest of the evening. It was a little frightening and quite thrilling for Will to realize he could gather such reactions.
He didn't eat much, even if it was quite good. He was busy looking at Sonny but also at the other customers. He remembered his piece with the fake restaurant review and wondered if he had kept it. Which reminded him of the letter...
He expected Sonny to drive him home but he took them to his apartment. Will was feeling comfortable enough to joke
"I'm not that easy, you know." Sonny chuckled loudly
- You're not? That's too bad, then, I'll have to go to plan B, then.
- What is it?
- The dance lessons I promised you."
Sonny was a good teacher, patient and sticking to simple steps. Will worked on being less stiff and managed quite well as Sonny's touch was very light, more friendly than lusting. After an hour, they were swirling around in harmony to the soft latino music in the background. Sonny suddenly stole a kiss and Will's knees gave way. He was kept from falling by a firm grip and it felt good.
"I really have to go, Sonny, I have classes in the morning.
- I know. When do I get to see you again?
- Tomorrow night? I can pop in for a few minutes." Sonny pouted.
- I meant for another date?
- This week-end? The house will be kid-free.
- And it's a relief?
- Actually, no. It feels empty.
- So you need a distraction?" The tone suggested jesting but the voice was trembling a little. Doing the reassuring felt new.
- I don't. But I want to go on a date with you. And I can't when I have to help my mom.
- What about tonight?
- She finished early. She tries to leave me space to live my youth." This time Sonny shook his head.
- Why am I not surprised you need to be reminded of that? OK, let's say Saturday, then.
- So you don't want to see me tomorrow?
- I want to see you every day. I want to touch you, like I just did while we were dancing. I need to have daily reminder of my great taste in boyfriends and of my insane luck."
Will left soon after. Part of him wanted to grab a blanket and snuggle on the couch with his boyfriend (apparently the term was official now). Part of him wanted to finish the letter. It would be easier to communicate his feelings that way. He had a feeling it would help Sonny to know those. It would help him to sort all of his heart out.
He put the paper in an envelope and placed it next to his wallet. Should he post it? Leave it at Sonny's place? Hand it in person?
The house was silent from all the inhabitants' slumbers. Will listened to the music of his Sonny-filled-heart and fell asleep lulled by its lullaby.