Even Ralph knows something is wrong with Loki when he comes in to work. He asks what, and Loki tells him that Alexi is returning to Sokovia. Ralph knows there is something else wrong, though. Something Loki will not say. But he cannot put his finger on what. He keeps an eye on his young apprentice throughout the day.
By the end of the week, Ralph is utterly certain there is something else going on, but he has no evidence, no way to prove that his concern is founded. There is simply something off about Loki. It is not something that effects his work, but it is there and he can see it- something subtle.
Loki does not go next door in the evenings, politely declining his sisters' invitations saying he does not feel well. Instead, he hermits in his room, practicing spell after spell, testing the limits of the helmet. He is surprised that it seems to have none. He is suspicious, though, of the welded spot. On closer inspection, he notes that it is not to heal a crack, as there is no split inside the metal. It looks as though it is covering something up.
When he briefly visits Wanda and Magda on a Saturday, he learns something that seems to explain a lot. SHIELD believes the Time Stone has travelled to New York City. When Loki returns home, he inspects the weld once more. He puts on the helmet. And he tries to figure out what he could do to tap into its power. For a brief moment, he flickers into a melee in the palace dungeons looking at himself trapped in a cell. And then the second is over and he is back in his own bedroom. He takes of the helmet.
"I cannot do this. It is far too tempting."
He sets the helmet aside and goes to bed.
There is a side-effect, it seems, to being connected to the World Tree through the power of the Time Stone. He has nightmares as vivid as though he were present again in his past. He feels every strike of whiplike arms landing on his back and wakes up with blood on his sheets, his scars seeping. He feels himself falling into the Void nearly every night at least once. And then there are worse memories that surface as well. Things done to him by the creatures under Thanos' control that break him and reshape him until he will not resist following their command to take the staff and go to Midgard for the Tesseract, not out of any love for them, but because his is terrified of the other options and he has been convinced that he will finally be respected and possibly even adored if he does. It is hard to shake these memories in the morning, but he does what he can to scald them clear from his mind in the shower.
Wanda and Magda are extremely worried after two weeks of declined invitations. They beg for time with him and he gives it. They eat, they play games, but he leaves early. He refuses to talk about Alexi.
It is after one of these suppers that he realizes he can change everything. He can go back to his mother's death and save her, creating the illusion of her death so the time stream is still the same, but bringing her forward. He could be the hero to all of Asgard by returning with their beloved Queen. And he wonders if he could stop the war in Sokovia somehow, bringing Alexi home. He thinks this unlikely, but possibly he could ask Odin to intervene as a gift for bringing back his wife.
And then he remembers that using the Stone will call those who are seeking it directly to him. Thanos. And there will be no mercy or grace for him even if he does give it to him. The thought of returning to wherever he was kept before chills him to the core. He knows there is only one place he might be safe and that is under Odin's protection. But if he brings the Stone to Asgard first... Then there, he could use it. Return Frigga to her rightful place by Odin. Gain Odin's admiration and beg for protection enough to avoid whatever cruel experiment Thanos has planned for him next. Perhaps he could even ask, instead of intervention in Sokovia, for at least his magic back. The helmet is nice, but every time he removes it, the branches of Yggdrasil are once again wrenched from his heart and it hurts.
The thought of leaving Magda and Wanda deeply saddens him, though. His family. The people who have cared so dearly for him in his time in Midgard. They are tangled in his heart as well. But, he thinks, they would want him to be happy, and he is most happy when he can feel the Great Ash woven with his soul.
By St Patrick's Day, he has made up his mind. He dresses in the ceremonial armor that Thor brought him not yet a year ago. He places the helmet on his head and materializes a staff for himself. He has always liked staffs. He writes a note for Magda and Wanda and leaves it on his dining room table, and he walks out the front door.
He does not want to risk hurting the ash in the descent of the Bifrost, so he must find another suitable place for his reveal. He disguises himself and makes his way to Central Park.