My Paper Heart

Chapter 19

Jasper was put into a mental health hospital after what happened.

He was there for three months before they released him.

We'd immediately set up a meeting at the counselor's office that they'd referred us too and were currently going to meetings several times a month. Jasper and I together and then alone.

The children and I were in a rental house; I couldn't go back into our house after what had happened.

My friends and family had packed up our stuff and moved it for us.

I was currently writing articles on PTSD and its effects on families and marriages. It helped me cope and understand more.

As per the agreement, Jasper isn't allowed to be alone with the children or myself. He still hadn't accepted that he'd beat me so severely. His visits with the children were with one of my dad's deputies and I didn't meet with him, except at the counselor's office. I still got nervous around him.

"Bella, why can't I kiss you goodbye?" he'd asked after one particular session about intimacy.

"Jasper, I still don't trust you after what happened, especially when you can't take the blame for it. I didn't press charges because I love you and want us to be together, whenever you decide to get help."

"Don't do this Bella. Don't pull away from me. I can't handle it." He was shaking his head.

"No Jasper, you pulled away from me the night you decided to beat me. Get your shit together or get a divorce. I'm done with these meetings. I think it's just a way for you to see me. I'm done, you don't take responsibility in the meetings; our group ones or yours alone. I'm not doing it anymore. Don't ask to see me, you can keep seeing the kids as set up, for now." I turned and walked away with tears streaming down my face.

"Dad, I need to do this. I need some time for me. Thank you so much for keeping the kids." I hugged him and Sue goodbye. I was taking a much deserved weekend away.

"It's not that I don't want you to have time to yourself, I'm just worried because you'll be alone." He gave me his dad/police officer look.

"Dad, really. I'll be OK. I'm just going to the Salish Lodge and Spa. I'm going to relax, get a massage, facial, breakfast in bed and a wonderfully planned meal, all of which I don't have to cook." I smiled.

"Just be safe." Sue came up and hugged me.

Using my dad's famous last words "Always am." I kissed the kids and I was off.

My weekend away was amazing.

The view from my room was relaxing and breathtaking. I needed the serenity over what has been my life lately.

The massages were out of this world and I vowed to look into a masseuse when I returned home for regular visits. After my facial and make over I felt like a new woman, I knew what I had to do in order to get the children and I back on track.

Arriving at my parent's house I smiled when I heard the laughing coming from out back.

I walked on to the patio and watched as my dad wrestled with the boys and Sue sat with a sleeping Haley in her arms.

"MOMMY!" the boys screamed and ran towards me.

"Oh I missed you so much!" I hugged them tight.

"I like what you've done with your hair." Sue smiled at my shortened locks.

"Thanks, I had them make it more manageable. With three kids, it's just too much when it was that long."

"The color looks great too." Sue remarked.

"It's all mine. She put in a deep conditioner and with the cut and style, it brings out my highlights more."

I motioned for Haley and Sue lifted her to me. I nuzzled her head.

"I've come to a decision about Jasper and me." I sat down next to Sue.

"Oh?" She asked curiously.

"Yeah, I'm going to serve him with papers and full custody. No visitation. Maybe it'll wake him up to what he's actually losing." I shrugged.

"It might make him go off the deep end too." Sue reminded me.

"Maybe. But he hasn't apologized for what happened, he won't open up to the therapist. He just says what she wants to hear. Every time we leave therapy he wants to kiss me or be with me. I don't trust him enough for that." I stated.

"And you shouldn't. Just be careful, you've seen his wrath." She patted my leg.

Driving home with the kids that night I felt a lot lighter and more positive than before.

AN:

Short chapter, but next things will start exploding…

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