Will was woken up by a sun ray. It was entering through the window as he had forgotten to draw the curtains the night before. There was no sound in the house and that was suspicious. He had learned the hard way that the children were the most effective vandalizing when completely silent. Of course, they could still be asleep but it was bright outside, it was way past their usual week-end waking time.
There was some noise outside, though and Will smiled at the bird's morning chants. It reminded him of the night he had spent with Sonny. And as he lay there, head buried in his pillow, a smile spreading on his lips as he could still hear Sonny's words I love you too...
He didn't move, he wanted to keep that feeling of peace that was seeping in his muscles, in his nerves ending, and this quietness his brain had reached, for the first time since he could remember.
His door moved slightly, pushed by five determined little fingers. He heard the tiptoe and moved to allow his sister on the mattress. Her hair was sticking into odd places and she had that sleepy look that was adorable. Will could easily remember the baby she had been, a few years ago. It was before his stepdad started cheating on his mother, before she threw him out. Now, she was like him, asking Sami why her daddy wasn't living at home. Not many of her friends were in that case, most of them had young parents, who hadn't reached the divorce stage yet. It would come for most of them, Will knew it. That's why you shouldn't marry, that's why you shouldn't have joint bank accounts. Burt had almost emptied it before he had left. They had to live with his grandmother for a while. He wondered if Sami would give all this another try. She had been burned badly, but Will thought that she would.
Syd had fallen asleep and Will didn't dare move. Instead he closed his eyes and thought about Sonny. The peace had left, his heart was beating a little too fast. Sonny had cleared his Saturday afternoon to spend time with them, so today, he was working all the time. And Will had to study. It was strange as how each days seemed much longer than usual. His life was full. Before that he had been busy and never really bored, but time passed fast, as months could go by without anything important happening.
Now he was learning how to make friends, how to take risks and he was nervous. But in a good way.
The children had overslept and made Sami pay for it, later, running around the house until she decided to take them to the park. Now that the deadline had been met, she was much more relaxed and ready to leave Will alone. He looked through the window at the sun shining brightly and sat in the garden.
He was busy reviewing the notes he had asked after Thursday's lesson, the one he had almost slept through, trying to make sense of them, when his cell beeped.
'I love you.'
He decided to be playful. Sonny could be intense at times, but he accepted light teasing and Will appreciated that. He appreciated a lot of things in his boyfriend, if he thought about it.
'I know.'
'Good, then I don't have to say it anymore then.'
Will smirked and typed 'It's only been a day. Later, I might forget. Did I mention I loved you too?'
He looked down at his work and some time had passed till he was startled away from it again.
'You did. I have screwed up half the orders today thanks to that. I don't regret anything. Say it again?'
Will chuckled. Then he felt his chest contract. How could he have such an effect? How long would it last?
That stopped the studying and he leafed through his notebook. He found what he had written before. Before Sonny kissed him, before he became someone's whole focus. He re-read what he had yearned for, and most of his wants had been met. Except from one crucial one : being sure. Even Sonny's attentiveness could not give him that, Sonny who had broken up with other people before, who had changed his mind or discovered flaws he couldn't bear with.
But he had felt so bad at that time, so lonely and now he had someone who was making him smile. He couldn't go back, so he would have to face these fears.
So, he didn't answer. He packed his books and headed to the coffee-house. He came in at a busy hour, at least for a Sunday, but he was able to meet Sonny's eyes at the end of the room and mouth the words to him. Then he sat at the only empty table. There was a sort of star painted on it, with big dots everywhere and on the side, there were six little boxes with wooden colored pawns in them. He took one and observed it. They were all identical. He brushed them, enjoying the softness, wondering how you played.
"It's Chinese checkers."
He looked up at Ellie. She was carrying a tray and smiled:
- I know you don't want me to take your order, I just wanted to say hello.
Will fidgeted on his chair. But he had to accept. Ellie was very sweet.
- I'm glad you did. I can see you're busy but if one day you feel like talking, I'd... I mean I'm not..." He coughed and looked for the right words. She put a hand on his shoulder and answered:
- Sure, Will. I'll leave you to your work for now."
She went to the next table and put the orders in front of the customers with a polite smile, very different from the one she had given him. He had too many friends now. He felt overwhelmed.
He didn't feel like working though so he placed the pawns on the colored triangles in front of him. He was about to put the last one when a hand held his and followed his gesture. He liked it when Sonny did that. He liked even more when the tray was laid down, with a cookie plate and two coffees. It meant they would have a little time.
"Thank you.
- For what?
- For coming. I don't want to sound too needy, but I long to see you everyday, even for five minutes."
Will couldn't promise that. Sometimes his mom called to ask him to look after the kids and sometimes he had to work late, without distractions. And he also needed time for himself, time to dream, time to be something else than a brother or a student. He took a bite in one of the cookies and let out a discreet moan.
- Is that your way of showing me how real cookies should taste like?" Sonny grinned and shook his head.
- No. That's my way of luring you here.
- I've never come here because of the food. It's delicious, but you're the only real reason."
Sonny sighed, his chest expanding under the apron. He leaned toward Will and placed his hands around Will's neck to kiss him. Will felt safe, taken care of.
So, he didn't leave. He put the pawns back in the boxes and studied a while. Then he looked through the window and was rewarded by the sight of two birds zooming around. Spring was coming. Soon there would be mating rituals. The birds had specific seasons to be in love. They had short but busy lives. Maybe he could find the time to be here for Sonny.
When the coffee-house closed, Sonny came back to the table and took a pawn in his hand.
- You want to play?
Will looked at him carefully. Sonny made efforts, all the time. It was difficult to know whether he wanted to do something or when he wanted to please him. It was even more difficult because most times he didn't seem to mind.
- Only if you want to. You like this game?
- I do." He looked at Will's face and chuckled "You don't believe me?
- I believe that you like it but what would you really want to do? Go out?
- Well, I haven't planned anything. Our next date is Tuesday so tonight is just going with the flow.
Will thought it over.
- Let's make a bargain then, tonight we play and Tuesday, we do something else. I love Hitchcock movies but I know them by heart. What do you want to do with me?"
It took a moment for the blush to be noticeable on Sonny's skin. Will swallowed the lump in his throat and waited.
"The swimming pool is opened late.
- What?" How would this make Sonny blush, Will had no idea. Will only felt like swimming in the summer, but as he mulled it over, it began to feel nice. Much easier than going to a dance club or try to climb. He nodded.
Will won and got a muffin as a prize. And five long kisses, that left him with weakened knees. He opened the door to the heavy rain. They had been so engrossed in each other, they had failed to notice.
- I can drive you home.
- It's really not far, Sonny. There's no need."
Sonny looked around and walked to the umbrella stand. He took a small one out and walked out to join Will.
- Is it yours?" Sonny shook his head. He opened the umbrella and they both squeezed under it.
Sonny put his arm around Will's waist and they walked in the dark, touching each other from shoulder to knee. Despite the shelter, Sonny's hair ended all wet. Will had trouble breathing. He hesitated, he really did, to ask Sonny upstairs. But he still knew he couldn't. He watched him leave, with regrets coursing down his bloodstream. He went to his room and sent a last text 'Thank you for being you.'