A/N Sorry for the delay my lovelies - been away! Back now with chapter 9. Liz begins to put her doubts about Red to rest, but then her fears are confirmed. A blend of angst, smut and fluff, not necessarily in that order. They will need the fluff for what comes next in subsequent chapters of this story. This is going to get DARK. As ever not mine, but I do love them so. Also here's hoping you can all read this as the site appears to be bugging out.

As she lay there in his arms she closed her eyes, limbs still tingling and warmed by his embrace and the afternoon sun. Before long she slipped into a hazy sleep, lethargic bliss that was eerily punctuated with dreams so real she couldn't find the line between waking life and slumber.

She's there in the bed with him, now in warm and comforting darkness. Their limbs are intertwined, taking luxurious pleasure from one another. Then she's somewhere else, standing naked in the dark. She can feel a man close to her; she turns towards him but she can't see him, he's always behind her, in the shadows, just out of reach. She laughs at first but it quickly turns to frustration - if she can only get closer to him…The darkness overtakes, cloying at her senses, suffocating her. The man's arm slips around her neck from behind, caressing at first, brushing over her collar bones, then grasping her throat, slowly tightening and squeezing and she can't move, she can't breathe, she's going to die and she can't see but she knows it's him – she can smell him, sense him all around her, it's him, Red, Red…

She woke with a start, her head resting on his chest and his arms still wrapped tightly around her. His hand went to her hair, gently stroking and soothing as she looked up at him.

"Bad dream, sweetheart?"

She swallowed. "No, I'm fine Red. Didn't you sleep?"

He paused for a moment. He knew she had lied to him, but decided not to press her for the moment. He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "And miss the unearthly pleasure of holding you, warm in my arms between these sheets? Never."

She smiled at him sleepily and his expression turned serious for a moment.

"Lizzie have dinner with me tonight."

Relief flooded over her as she nodded. "I'd like that". Although this wasn't the first time they'd had an intimate encounter, their relationship had now changed fundamentally, and in some ways, she thought, it was more uncertain than it had ever been. They needed to talk properly; she needed to find a way to turn this into a partnership and assuage the doubts that lingered in her subconscious. Most of all, she needed to get out of that room.

He was reluctant to release her from his arms. They needed to shower and he wanted to prepare something special for the evening, but he couldn't shake the feeling that this would be the only time he would ever hold her like this. The delicious scent of her hair, the warmth of her smooth skin – he wanted to savour every second and commit it to memory before she inevitably left him.

She was already having nightmares about him – she didn't know it but she had cried his name in terror her sleep. She would soon realise the monster he was and be disgusted with herself for allowing him to touch her. If not that, then her dazzling combination of courage and foolhardiness would lead her to try another stunt as she had that morning, although he would do everything in his power to prevent that from happening.

Even if she stayed with him, she would eventually find out the truth about his plans regarding the cabal. She was incredibly intuitive; some of her accusations earlier that day had landed pretty close to the mark, enough to make him feel vulnerable. She would never understand. She would hate him and he cringed inwardly at the thought of how she would look at him when she discovered the truth.

If not any of those things, it could even be that he would find it in himself to be a better man, to do the right thing and let her go himself. The thought made him hold her tighter for a moment, before kissing her forehead and announcing that he was going to wash up and prepare dinner.

When she came downstairs later it was to glorious smells coming from the kitchen and the heart-warming sight of Red in an immaculate dove-grey suit and vest covered by an apron. He turned to her with a broad smile as she entered.

"Lizzie you look enchanting!"

She regarded his suit for a moment and then looked down at her black pants and light blue blouse. "I feel a little underdressed."

"Nonsense." He approached her and handed her a glass of wine. "True beauty requires no enhancement." He looked so sincere all of a sudden that she couldn't help laughing, before taking a sip of her wine. It tasted like cherries, wood smoke and velvet. She looked about the kitchen and then turned back to him.

"Shall I lay the table?"

"We're not eating in here sweetheart."

Her stomach clenched for a second. Surely he couldn't mean to serve dinner in her room as he had the past week?

He must have observed her panicked reaction as his voice had softened when he spoke again. "Conservatory, Lizzie. Go and see."

She nodded and walked through the kitchen to the old wood and glass conservatory and gasped when she saw the scene before her. There was now a table in there, laid as it would be in a restaurant, but the thing that took her breath away was the flowers, flowers and light. So much light. There were candles and lanterns lining the room, their light reflected in the glass panes and illuminating bunches of lilac flowers which made the room smell divine.

He was behind her then, his arm slipping gently about her waist. "Dinner in twenty minutes, sweetheart. Slow cooked lamb shank with mushroom fricassée persillade."

"I'm not sure what you just said but it sounds incredible. All of this is incredible. Thank you." She turned and kissed him full on the mouth, savouring the taste of him and the wine. He reciprocated with a grunt of pleasure which, she decided with a smile, was rather ungentlemanly.

She took another sip of wine. "This is heavenly. To be honest I was worried for a second that we'd be eating our romantic meal locked in my room."

She watched his eye twitch fractionally, and waited for him to respond.

"I don't think that will be necessary now, do you?" he said carefully.

"I never thought it was necessary" she shot back.

He looked at her for a moment before placing his wine glass down on the table and bringing his hands up slowly to cup her face, sweeping a lock of hair behind her ear. "You told me you didn't know how you could trust me. Lizzie, trust goes both ways. I need to know you're not going to endanger yourself again. If you do… then all this is for nothing."

He didn't elaborate, but his tone had an almost desperate, pleading quality to it and she got the impression that by 'all of this' he meant more than the fulcrum and their flight from DC. She closed her eyes for a moment, gathering strength, and then looked at him, the brilliant blue of her eyes all the more shocking to him for the momentary absence.

"Red… I need to ask you something."

He stiffened. Her questions had been easier to evade when she was hurling accusations at him hand over fist. He wouldn't lie to her, but please not yet, he couldn't lose her just yet.

"Yes, Lizzie?"

"Do you love me?"

He looked at her, stunned. It wasn't what he expected. It also seemed an absurd question until he realised that although he had been telling her he loved her in his own way for years, he had never said the words to her. He laughed gently, causing her to frown.

"Yes. I love you Lizzie. I have loved you more than anything, for such a long time sweetheart."

Her eyes widened. He was afraid he had said too much, yet he couldn't bear the thought that she would never know how much he truly loved her. The time would come when it would be very important that she remember it.

"I don't understand-"

"I know. But I hope you will someday. There are many kinds of love Lizzie, each all-consuming in their own way."

"But when did you…" she trailed off, uncertain as to how to ask the question.

"You're asking when I developed romantic feelings for you."

"Yes."

He chuckled. "It's difficult to say, although the time you stabbed me in the carotid with my own pen was certainly a defining moment."

"Red!"

He continued to laugh – "Oh Lizzie, so fierce - the passion there was glorious."

She shook her head. "I was devastated."

He stopped laughing and drew her to him. "I know sweetheart. I'm sorry."

They paused, both remembering painfully the reason why she had stabbed him – Tom, Tom the imposter who he had put in her life.

He looked down at her. "What about you Lizzie?" He seemed almost nervous.

"I think I'd have to say… seeing you chained in the box on my first day." Her mouth curved with just a hint of a teasing smile.

He looked genuinely shocked and it was her turn to laugh. "You were so calm - even though you were restrained it was like you were in control. I'm not naive, Red."

"Oh I'm quite aware of that, sweetheart." He didn't say anything more, but there was a fire in his eyes when he spoke which sent a thrill running down her spine.

The meal he'd prepared was sublime, but his mood over dinner in the miniature paradise he had created for them was a strange one. It seemed to her as though he was battling some internal conflict which he concealed competently with animated tales of his global travels. It felt so good to laugh after weeks of misery, but all the while there was something she couldn't quite grasp… she longed for another glimpse of the man underneath the suave, jovial exterior.

After dinner he continued in the same vein until she could no longer stand it.

"I'm going to bed. Are you coming?" She looked down at him questioningly, one eyebrow cocked.

He appeared uncertain, working his jaw for a second. "Lizzie, are you asking whether I too am going to bed, or are you asking me to accompany you?"

He seemed so unsure, so hesitant, even after everything that had transpired, that it made her want to simultaneously laugh and weep for him. She loved him. Her heart ached for him.

When she didn't answer immediately he began to speak again. "I wouldn't want to presume-"

"Red, I'm asking you to come to bed with me. In fact, I'm asking you to come upstairs so that I can give you something" she lowered her voice seductively. "You've done so much for me, made me feel incredible. I'm looking forward to repaying the favour." She held out her hand to him.

He rose from his seat and took her hand, although his expression was serious. "Lizzie, you don't owe me anything."

She laughed and rolled her eyes at him, the wine boosting her confidence. "Jeez, you need to relax. Let me help you with that."

He watched in awe as she led him purposefully to her room. He was grateful that she had chosen her room and not his – he couldn't have her in that bed, not after he had hurt her there so badly. He could barely bring himself to sleep there himself after that night. Had she been downstairs over the last week she would have noticed that he had taken to staying up most of the night with a lonely scotch his only companion, often falling into a wretched sleep in an armchair rather than facing his bed, a cold reminder of his violent nature.

He shook that thought from his head as she led him not to her bed as he had expected, but to the chair in the corner of the room. He stood uncertainly as she circled him, brushing her lips against his neck before playfully nipping his bottom lip. He brought his hands up to embrace her but she caught them and placed them at his sides, smiling and shaking her head. He groaned as she cupped him through his pants, before undoing his belt and pulling them down along with his boxers, leaving him otherwise fully dressed. She gave him a Cheshire cat smile before pushing him down to sit on the chair and kneeling between his legs.

He leaned forward then and caught her chin, his voice strained. "Lizzie, I don't expect you to-"

"I know. But I've been thinking about doing this for a long time. You wouldn't deny me, would you?" she said softly. Her blue eyes seem to shimmer with excitement, her face rosy from wine and exhilaration.

He swallowed and sat back in the chair. "I'd deny you nothing that's in my power to give."

He felt rather than saw her smile because her hot little mouth was already on him and everything seemed to fall away into a haze of pleasure, pleasure he didn't deserve, but given to him freely, even wantonly.

He came back to his senses all too soon when he felt a familiar pull inside, and lent down urgently to tilt her head up. He was seconds from losing it when his cock slid from between her lips. When she looked up his face was a mask of concentration that left her in no doubt that she had been able to please him, despite the many more experienced women she suspected he had been with. When he spoke his voice lacked his usual composure and she was secretly delighted that she had been able to do that to him, to make him beg.

"Oh God…please Lizzie, the bed. Now. Let me touch you sweetheart."

After that he made love to her in the way he had imagined. He took his time with her, undressing her slowly, worshipping every new bit of skin revealed. He discovered just how to touch her to make her bite her lip, how to make her smile with pleasure and then gasp, and finally, how to make her feel so much she looked like she might cry – almost, but not quite.

As he used his new knowledge of her to bring her to a fourth orgasm he finally allowed himself to be taken with her, and she thought dimly that he too almost appeared to be about to weep with happiness. Afterwards, he pulled her limp body to him and held her, overjoyed by the feel of her in his arms once again. Barely conscious, she fell asleep almost immediately. There were no nightmares this time, only pure contentment and the soaring happiness of being held by him, the man she loved, and who loved her.

She woke in the night, her head fuzzy and mouth dry. He was sound asleep with one arm resting protectively over her. She slipped carefully from his grasp and threw on a robe before heading out of the room to fetch a glass of water. As she reached the top of the stairs she could just make out the sound of the satellite phone ringing from Red's room. She hesitated only a moment before entering and picking up the phone herself.

"Hello?"

"Liz? Is that you?"

"Ressler? How did you-"

"Liz, don't hang up. I know you're with Reddington and you have to get away, you can't trust him Liz - you're in danger. I've found something you need to know-"

Her heart already pounding in her ears, she didn't hear any more because at that moment the phone was suddenly yanked from her hand. She whirled round in time to see Red end the call, his face a mask of fury.

TBC