I swear I have a target on my body somewhere! Once again, sorry for leaving you all hanging! I have been kicking myself... Anyways, I hope this chapter clears some things up. I admit I made a boo boo with the last chapter. Let me know.
CHAPTER 22
The next few weeks passed much the same for Ana as they did for Me when I was training, except, of course, for the huge underlining fact that Ana was a vampire, and what took me a week to get the hang of, took her mere minutes to comprehend. These last few weeks have just been 'fine tuning', for everyone, considering the only fight the Cullen's had ever been in (bar Jasper; although I didn't really perceive him as a Cullen per-se) was with Victoria's sloppy at best 'army' of newborns. I knew enough about Maria to know that if her army resembled anything, it would be the complete opposite of 'sloppy', maybe 'immaculate' was a the term I was looking for.
Jasper had explained to me that this would be much like the wars he faced all those years ago under her rule. "Maria thrives on being a leader of an army." he said. "Maybe she's hitlers cousin or some shit." I joked, earning stares and giggles from everyone. The human population having dramatically dropped, making it harder for the vampire population to find a meal, The only logical thing for Maria to do is to go back to fighting for turf. Go figure. Send her troops to battle for turf, only to have half of them come back, go out looking for more 'recruits', turn some more unsuspecting humans, further dwindling the already thinning human population that they are all fighting over. Brilliant. She wins the gold medal for stupidity. I swear I almost went brain dead from processing Maria's preposterous conclusions.
I spent time with Edward and Ana when Jasper was out with Peter making battle plans, or with Alice, searching her visions, which seemed to be pretty much every day. I didn't mind, it gave me time to get to know Ana and the new Edward. Ana, as I suspected, was a lot like Edward. They shared the same values, mannerisms and the same love for literature and music. She was the perfect resemblance of what a woman from Edward's time would have been like. She was from England, and sired by a vampire named Michael when she was 18 years old. He lost his mate and sire, Elizabeth, 20 years prior in a fight with some passing nomads. He wandered aimlessly until he came across Ana early one morning, dying in an alley way next to her newly wed husband, Jonathan. They were victims of a mugging. While Jonathan was sadly already dead, Ana was beaten quite badly, having slipped into unconsciousness when Michael came upon her, but alive. Having been reminded of how he couldn't save his mate, he felt compelled to save Ana that night. Ana and Michael were companions for many years, but Michael had a gaping hole that no amount of comfort and friendship could fill. He became suicidal, making fights with groups of nomads, seeking the same death he felt he deserved for not being able to save his mate. Ana became distressed, and tried to stop his attempts for suicide, until 10 years ago, Ana now being the one who couldn't save him. It wasn't until Ana saw the look of pure bliss on Michael's face and peace in his eyes that she understood. She didn't try to save him that time. Waking up into this world to learn her husband was dead was a hard bullet for her to swallow, she had loved him, and mourned Jonathan like any widow would, but Ana knew what love she had for him could not compare to what mates have and feel for each other. She fully comprehends the magnitude of it now, having found Edward. She, too, would wish for her own demise if Edward were to depart from this world. The only difference between the two of them was Ana's belief that they were not soulless creatures. I was relieved to hear it. Maybe she could knock some sense into him.
It was hard to catch Edward on his own, so when the opportunity came, I nearly broke my shoulder pushing him into Carlisle's office. How could I forget he was practically marble? After we got far enough in the room, I closed the door. Before Edward could say a word, I lifted my hand up to stop him from saying whatever he was about to say. I took a deep breath and motioned for him to sit down.
"I need answers." I blurted in a rush before he could completely sit on Carlisle's chase lounge. He paused momentarily before slowly sitting, a perplexed look on his face.
"What do you mean?" He asked quietly. I started pacing the room. I'd ran these questions through my mind a thousands times... But I wasn't so sure I wanted to know now. I quickly decided I did before I could back down again.
"I know you and Carlisle have been studying these... Things from afar, and I haven't paid much attention to any details, but, why did she come here? Could it have been coincidence? And so fast, too..." I was rambling. Was I making sense? Apparently I was on some level because Edward's expression softened.
"Renee..." He whispered, more stating the fact I was talking about her then asking. I nodded once, letting out my breath in a huff. "She had already fled with Phil when you sent me to get her. They were heading here. I'm not sure of the details, but I believe their car had broken down when they were attacked. I didn't make it in time." He said, casting his eyes downward. I could see the anguish on his face. I sat next to him, putting my hand on his in a silent gesture of understanding and forgiveness.
"You weren't to know." I said, tears forming in my eyes. "Why here?" I asked.
"These things aren't as dumb as they seem. They do have some memory of their life before they were infected, similar to us, but the memories don't last long. Renee was already on her way here, so she kept on her quest, although forgetting why she was coming here. As for how fast, she had already made it a fair distance with Phil, having already been travelling for almost a day. After being infected, their soul purpose is to feed, much like us," he said with that crooked grin, "so, they run. They don't need rest or feel pain." I chuckled through my tears, they sounded like vampires, except for the feeling no pain part. Edward joined in. He didn't need to read my mind to know why I had the reaction I did. Total irony.
"Did that clear up everything?" He said after a few seconds.
"Yes, I think so, except, where was Phil?" I asked, fresh tears threatening to spill over.
"Phil died before infection could spread." He said, putting his head back down. I stood, walking to the door. I wasn't sure what I felt after all that information. I needed some alone time with a cigarette and a drink.
"Thank you, Edward. None if it was your fault. And thanks for not keeping it from me." I said, quickly opening the door and walking out. Before I made it to the kitchen to grab the fruity elixir to have with my smoke, Jasper was in front of me, blocking the way.
"I'm fine." I smiled. He cocked his eyebrow at me, slightly amused I was even trying to cover it up. "Ok, I'm not. But I will be. I just grilled Edward on what happened when I sent him away to get Renee and Phil and... And... I just need some alone time." I said, trying to step around him. He grabbed the side of my face, making me look at him. I sighed, staring into his eyes.
"I know where your going and what you're doing. And, it's ok. I won't stop you, but I won't be far away. And, at the risk of sounding like Edward, don't wander too far. Maria has sent some of her troops to scope out the area. While they have only been on the outskirts of town, they are newborns." He said, stroking my neck and cheek.
"I know, and it's fine. I was only going to sit on the front porch anyways." I said. He smiled and kissed my forehead before disappearing again. Will he ever stop leaving me breathless? Just one of the downfalls of being human. I loved that man immensely, but sometimes I wished he wouldn't do that to me. Making me forget myself momentarily. I quickly made my way to the fridge and out the front door to sit on the porch to ponder the wad of information Edward had just bestowed upon me.
Even though winter was here in full force, I didn't mind the cold as I dragged on my cigarette and drank straight from the bottle. I wasn't much of a wine drinker, but this stuff was fruity, and seemed to get better the more I drank it. Before I knew it, half my cigarettes were gone and most of the bottle was, too. Did I make any more sense of anything? Did I come to terms with this? Did I make peace with it? I'm pretty sure my answer was no, and I knew come tomorrow, I'd feel like an ass for doing what I did today. If I remembered. Although getting drunk didn't solve my problems, it did give me a moment of clarity. Renee and Phil were dead. But Charlie was still here, and he knew about the wolves, and were under their protection. I could still see my dad when I was turned. Hang on, this isn't just clarity, this is what i set out to do this afternoon! I didn't have to worry about pushing Renee away anymore, or staging an accident so she would think I was dead. She doesn't have to mourn me. She doesn't have to bury me, her only child. As much as it hurt to realise this, it was true. You shouldn't have to bury your children, your children bury you! I jumped to my feet, feeling a burst of energy overcome my drunken clumsiness, only to stumble and grab my chest at the squeezing of my heart that came with this clarity. Fresh tears rolled down my face. My questions I asked myself earlier were answered. This is it. This is how it is meant to be. And even though I feel my chest might explode, I embraced it and made peace with it. I downed the rest of the bottle to numb the feeling and lit a cigarette to keep my hands busy, and started pacing the porch to keep myself from falling asleep in a drunken haze. I couldn't do that in such a moment of clarity. At that moment, Jasper appeared at the end of the porch, hands behind his back. I smiled and staggered into his arms.
"I made peace." I said before closing my eyes. I could rest easy now. I earned the darkness of deep sleep that overcame me in that moment, and it was the best sleep I'd had since... Since before I met Edward.