Looong chapter! Yay! Hope you guys like :D
Lana slowly opened her eyes, feeling no pain at all. She groaned and rolled her head to the side. Happy sat in a chair against the wall looking pissed. She looked at him for a moment, not knowing what to say to him. She was still mad at him.
The last person she needed to see at the moment was also in the room. Sean was on the other side of the bed messing with one of the machines she was hooked up to. Of course she'd end up with him as her nurse.
"Oh fuck." She groaned, covering her face with her hand when she saw him. Clearly Happy didn't know, or at least wasn't sure, this was who she'd fucked or he would've already put a bullet through his forehead.
"Hey Lana. How are you feelin?" He asked.
"Considering my life over the last month, there are too many possible answers to that question. Physically, I'm numb from the waist down." She answered, not moving her hand from her face.
"That would be the epidural you were given for surgery. Dr. Knowles wanted to speak with you as soon as you woke up. I'm gonna go get her." Sean said, the awkwardness of the situation only increasing by the minute.
Lana paled as he left the room, taking a guess at what Tara would want to talk to her about. Happy narrowed his eyes when he saw Lana's widen.
"What?" He snapped.
She was silent for a minute, not wanting to answer. She hadn't told him yet.
"Nothing." She said.
A few minutes later Tara came into the room.
"Can you give us a minute?" Lana asked Happy.
He shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Hap, please." She pleaded.
He was silent, refusing to move. He just sat there with his arms crossed, staring at her.
Lana sighed, knowing it was pointless. Then she looked at Tara.
"How do you feel Lana?" Tara asked sympathetically.
"Fine I guess. I-"
Tara put her hand up to silence her when she sensed the urgency in Lana's voice. "I just wanted to fill you in on everything. First of all, I wanna tell you not to worry. Gemma told me and Lyla a few days ago, you know she can't keep her mouth shut." She said with a small laugh.
"Told you what?" Happy growled.
Lana avoided looking at him and Tara ignored him as she continued. "You're not pregnant Lana. You never were. I had them test you as soon as you were brought in. It was negative. The one you did at home must have been a false positive. It's rare, but it does happen."
Happy froze, wondering if he was hearing correctly as the words sank in.
Tara hesitated before continuing, worrying her lower lip and lowering her eyes. "You were brought straight to surgery last night. The bullet fragment hit the top of your pelvis and shattered in your abdomen. Luckily it missed any vital organs, but we did have to completely remove one of your ovaries." She continued nervously. "I don't know how much you were looking forward to having a baby, but … it's highly unlikely you will ever conceive and on the off chance you did, it's even more unlikely you would be able to carry to term. A fragment of the bullet tore into your uterus and once it's healed, there will be a significant amount of scar tissue." She let the information soak in for a minute, then continued. "You'll be in ICU for a couple days, but you're gonna be fine. I'm sure you guys have some stuff to talk about so I'll give you some time." She said quickly, before grabbing Lana's hand in a sympathetic squeeze and leaving.
Lana furrowed her brow and stared off at nothing as Tara left the room.
Happy continued to glare. "How long?"
"Huh?" Lana slowly turned back towards him.
"How long ago did you take the test?" He asked, really feeling the anger build now.
"About three weeks." She answered halfheartedly.
"How the fuck could you keep something like this from me?" He growled.
"Does it even fucking matter? I was never pregnant. You probably would've told me to get rid of it anyway so why the fuck do you care?"
That silenced him, for a moment anyway. "What kind of asshole do you think I am?" He asked.
Lana raised an eyebrow at him. "You really want me to answer that?"
"What is you're fucking problem?" He ran his hand over his head as he stood and turned away.
"You fucking whores is my fucking problem!" She snapped. "How many of them did you fuck while you were gone." She asked through gritted teeth, finally voicing the question she'd been wondering to herself since they'd last talked.
Happy hesitated before answering. "Just the one." He said it like that should somehow make the situation better.
"God, you really are a piece of work, you stubborn son of a bitch." She said, shaking her head slowly.
His jaw clenched and started twitching.
"You can't even apologize for your fuck up." She continued.
"You seem to forget, little girl, that you fucked up to." He bit out.
"No, Hap, I only did the same fucking thing you did. But at least it wasn't some skank that would sleep with anything with two legs and at least I didn't do it somewhere where it would be obvious to everyone else." She was silent for a moment, watching his reaction, then she laughed sarcastically. "You fucked the bitch right there in front of everyone, didn't you?" She could just tell by his expression.
"Girl-" He started in a warning tone.
"Don't call me girl. I'm sick of you trying to make me feel inferior. Get the fuck out. Go drink yourself stupid and fuck as many whores as you want. I'm done with you."
SOA
After leaving the hospital a week later, Lana eventually got back into her old routine. The comfortable life she lived before she was tied down to any man. The boring life.
She regularly checked on Kozik, but no changes. She mostly worked and hung out with Lyla. She didn't want to turn into one of those girls that would sit at home crying and eating or drinking her feelings away because of a break up. She was sure it would've been easy to do, especially with Kozik still in the hospital.
In addition, she desperately tried to forget that she had thought she had been pregnant and the realization that she had begun to become fond of the idea of a little Happy or Kozik running around. She tried even harder to ignore the newfound knowledge that it would never happen and denied the feelings that provoked.
Happy had immediately left to find who was responsible for hurting Lana. He didn't wait for the club to vote this time. He'd had it. Kozik was still hurt and now Lana had been caught in the crossfire of what he was sure was retaliation from a brother club of the MC responsible for Kozik's accident.
Happy and Tig had taken off together, returning a couple weeks later. As soon as Happy got back to the clubhouse, he grabbed a bottle of Jack and a croweater and that's how he chose to spend his days now, too stubborn to go back to Lana and knowing she was too stubborn to come back to him.
It had been almost two months since Lana had stopped talking to Happy and she wanted to get back into the habit of going to the occasional SAMCRO party to avoid feeling sorry for herself. She refused to let him affect her decisions. If she saw him, she would ignore him. It was her life, and she wasn't going to allow him to dictate it. Lyla had been begging her to come out again anyway, so she gave in.
The two were sitting at the bar, talking, when Lana looked up to see Happy (who had clearly been drinking most of the day) making out with some bitch across the bar. She looked away in an attempt to ignore them, but when he began to lead her back toward the dorms, one of the other croweaters decided that was her cue to let Lana know exactly what they all thought about her now that Happy spent most of his free time drinking and fucking.
The blonde approached Lana, who was turned around so she couldn't see Happy and the whore he was with. "Looks like your old man doesn't respect you all that much anymore."
Lana turned slowly and glared at the bitch. "He ain't my old man anymore. He didn't have enough respect for me to begin with so I ended that shit. You got something to say about that?"
"Guess you're not such a tough bitch without your men, are you?" She continued to provoke, smirking at Lana.
Lana knew she'd never been particularly popular with the skanks who hung around the clubhouse, and she supposed it was for good reason, but that didn't mean she was going to start taking shit from them now.
"Why don't you open that hole in your fuckin face one more time and see just how tough I am." She said with a raised brow.
"I'll open it. Around your man's dick." The blonde sneered at her before turning away.
Lana grabbed her arm as she began to walk away, spinning her back around. She swung her fist and caught the other girl in the jaw, causing her to stumble back into the pool table where Juice and Chibs were playing.
Nearly everyone in the bar stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to Lana, Happy included.
Lana moved forward before the other girl could regain her composure and grabbed her by the hair on the back of the head. She turned her so she was facing the table and slammed her face down onto the felt surface, right onto one of the balls. A loud crack would've been heard by everyone as blood started gushing from the blonde's nose, but with the noise of the music, only those closest heard it and it was a very satisfying sound to Lana's ears.
"Still think I need a man to be tough?" She asked the girl before pushing her to the floor and walking away, not giving her a chance to answer.
"Hey, you wanna go home?" Lyla asked as she approached cautiously a few minutes later. Lana sat on Kozik's bike out in the lot. It hadn't moved since he'd been hurt and it was comforting to just sit there and remember all the times she'd ridden on the back of it.
"I miss him." Lana said, ignoring Lyla's question. "Both of them."
"I know babe. Hap's right inside. You know he'd take you back in an instant."
"Lyla, it's all so fucked up right now that would just be stupid."
"Sometimes stupid is ok. Yeah, he fucked up and then you did. Why not call that even? I talked to Ope about that night they were in Tacoma. One of the other guys might as well have called Hap pussy whipped. He was drunk and looking to prove himself. It was wrong, but he did what he did. He fucking loves you and you damn well know it."
"And now that he's spent the last couple months doing nothing but drinking and fucking every whore in town?"
"Lana, you told him to. He's a guy and a Son, what the fuck else would you expect?"
"Exactly that." Lana muttered.
"It's Happy. He's not the mushy romantic type that's gonna chase after you and beg you for forgiveness. You tell him to fuck off and that's what he's gonna do. He's too damn proud to apologize, no matter how wrong he is. Sound familiar?"
"Yeah, well I guess that explains why we are where we are." Lana stood. "I'm gonna take off."
Lyla sighed. "I love you, but you're a stubborn bitch." She said as she pulled Lana in for a hug.
SOA
Before she even realized where she was going, Lana had turned into the hospital parking lot. She got out of her car and headed inside, making her way up to Kozik's room. She sat there on the edge of the bed for a while, something she hadn't done in quite some time. Just seeing him lay there was too painful. She found it much easier to try to ignore the fact that he was in here.
As she held onto his hand she felt tears prick the backs of her eyes, but she blinked them away. Eventually she lay down next to him and unintentionally drifted off.
When she awoke hours later she felt an arm around her and snuggled deeper into the warm body next to her. She felt the arm around her back pull her closer and her eyes snapped open as she remembered where she was.
She pushed herself up suddenly and looked at Kozik's still sleeping face. His eyes slowly opened at her movement and she thought she was dreaming until he opened his mouth, trying to speak. All that came out was a weak cough. She was speechless and didn't want to leave to get him some water, afraid he wouldn't be awake when she got back, so she pressed the button for the nurse over and over again until someone came into the room.
"Water." She demanded, never once taking her eyes away from Kozik.
The doctor came in only seconds later and the nurse came back with some water. Lana waited anxiously until the doctor told her that it appeared Kozik was doing fine and he believed he would make a full recovery.
"He'll need to stay here for at least a few more days, but as long as he continues to improve, he should be able to go home soon. Would you like me to call Tara?" He asked, knowing Tara's connection to the club.
All she could do was nod, still in shock.
After the doctor and nurse left, she moved back to Kozik's side. The doctor had explained to him that he'd been in a coma for months since the accident so that explained Lana's behavior. The water had helped with his dry throat, but it still hurt so he didn't want to talk too much.
"Hey." He said.
Lana was pulled out of her trance like state at the sound of his voice. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, able to do so now that he was sitting up. A small sob escaped her lips.
Kozik returned the gesture as she buried her face in his neck. She stayed like that until the door opened a short while later.
Happy was the first in the room. "Jesus Christ brother. We thought you were done for."
Lana reluctantly pulled away and Kozik reached out as Happy pulled him into a brotherly hug. Lana stood. "I'm gonna go get you something to eat. You gotta be hungry for some real food." She said quietly, avoiding Happy's gaze.
Kozik didn't miss the glare Happy shot her, but he brushed it off, knowing the two's tendency to fight.
Lana took her time, hoping Happy would be gone by the time she returned. Unfortunately, he was still there, everyone else was gone though. She entered the room hesitantly, still trying to ignore Happy.
"Ok, what's up with you two this time?" Kozik asked.
"Nothing. There is no us. We haven't spoken in months." Lana said, all too eager to get it out in the open, hoping to end the discussion before it started.
"Why not?" Kozik asked.
"Can we just not worry about it?" She asked irritably.
"Yeah, let's not worry about it. 'Cause Lana's so damn good at ignoring her problems." Happy interjected angrily.
"It isn't a problem anymore."
"Bullshit." He grumbled.
"Fuck you." She spat.
"Enough." Kozik said. "Fine, we won't talk about it now 'cause honestly I don't have the energy to fight with either of you, but someone's eventually gonna have to explain. Something obviously went down and I wanna know at some point.
"I'm gonna get outta here. Come by the clubhouse when you get outta this place brother." Happy said, squeezing Kozik's shoulder and glaring at Lana as he walked past her out of the room.
He headed back to the clubhouse and grabbed the first bottle of liquor within reach, as he'd grown so accustomed to doing. He hated this, missed Lana, but he sure as hell wasn't going to be the first to admit to it.
"Hey Hap." He turned around to see one of the croweaters smiling at him. He wanted so badly to tell her to fuck off, but something in him just wouldn't allow it. It was his meager attempt to try and convince himself he was ok without Lana, but he knew it was all a lie.
He grabbed the bitch and pushed her back toward the dorms, deciding he'd bury himself in her, while he imagined it was Lana beneath him like he always did.
SOA
Kozik had mostly healed from his injuries while he'd been in the coma, but he was weak from being immobile for so long. The doctors had finally given him the ok to go home after nearly a week.
Lana was ecstatic to finally have him back. As soon as she got him back to her place, she led him inside and pushed him back onto the couch, climbing on top of him and kissing him. Even the thought of being with him after so long felt strange, but feeling him under her felt so familiar at the same time. She slowly slipped her hands up under his shirt as she moved her lips down to his neck.
"Jesus Lana, really? We literally just walked in the door." He said, despite his amusement at her eagerness.
"So?" She lifted her head to look at him. "Are you still tired?" She studied his face for a moment. "C'mon." She said, pulling him up and back towards the bedroom.
She gently pushed him down onto the bed and lifted his shirt. Then she stepped back and started removing her own clothes. When she was done, she put her hands on his shoulders and slowly pushed him back so he was lying on the bed.
"I've been lying in a bed for the last couple months. I really don't-"
"Shh." She placed her finger to his lips before he could finish his sentence. "This is gonna be a lot more fun. I promise." She said with a wicked grin as she reached down and undid the front of his jeans.
Pulling them off, she moved back up his body, kissing his chest, then neck. She reached down between them and wrapped her hand around his cock, slowly pumping her fist. He was rock hard in mere seconds.
His hands went to her waist and he moaned as she continued to massage him. "Fuck Lana." He said, trying his damndest to not lose it right then and there. He might not remember being in that hospital for the last couple months, but his body sure as hell did and it had been nothing like this.
Lana finally placed him at her entrance and slowly slid down onto his length, moaning her own pleasure. She ground her hips, making him reach up and hold her still for a minute. She giggled as she waited for him to let her move again and then she began to slowly raise and lower her hips on him.
She leaned forward to kiss him as she moved and he moved his hands around to hold onto her ass as he slowly lifted his hips to meet hers. He didn't want to go to fast, knowing if he did he wouldn't last long, so he let her do most of the work.
After a moment, Lana sat straight up with her hands on his chest to balance herself. Allowing her weight to pull her down onto him all the way, she ground her hips again. Kozik let his hand glide up her stomach to her breast and his other hand found her clit.
She gasped at the sensation and rocked her hips back and forth into his hand. Just as he felt her muscles tense around him he rolled her nipple in between his fingers and she dug her nails into his shoulders as she came.
He immediately grabbed her hips again and brought her down onto him, holding her there as he came with a grunt.
As Lana lay in bed with him that evening, she could still hardly believe he was back.
"So are you gonna tell me what's up with you and Hap?" She'd avoided telling him what had happened, although she knew he had an idea. He'd been at the clubhouse for a short time earlier that and had undoubtedly heard things, but he didn't know details yet.
She sighed, knowing she wouldn't be able to dodge his questions for much longer. "I don't wanna talk about him." She said, running her hand up his bare chest and kissing his neck.
"Liar." He said, grabbing her hair so he could pull her head back. "You think I haven't noticed the way you act around him now? You both hate this, but neither of you wanna admit it."
Lana narrowed her eyes at him before sliding her hand further down under the covers. He grabbed it before she could get far. "Tell me." He ordered.
Lana sighed and pushed away from him. "You got hurt, he took off to take care of it, ended up fucking some whore. He came back all marked up." She hesitated to tell him the next part, knowing he didn't know about it. Lowering her eyes she continued. "I slept with someone else to get back at him. When he found out we fought, didn't talk to him again until I got shot. You know the rest."
"Is that everything?" He asked after a moment.
"Yes."
"You sure?"
She only stared at him for a moment.
"Something about a pregnancy test?" She looked surprised that anyone who had known about it would say anything. "Croweaters hear more than you think and they talk."
"It doesn't matter." She said quietly.
"It does. You didn't tell us."
"I was going to, but you left before I could, then you got hurt. I was never pregnant to begin with, so no, it doesn't." She sighed again. "Christ, you really know how to ruin the fucking mood don't you?" She threw back the covers and started to get up, but he pulled her back to him by her arm.
He didn't like this. Sure it was nice having Lana to himself, but it felt strange. He knew she wasn't happy and he knew Happy wasn't happy either. It didn't feel right with both of them hating each other like this and he knew Happy would be the hardest to get through to. So he decided to work on Lana first. With both Hap and Lana unhappy, he knew he couldn't be happy.
"You know I don't demand much from you, but I am now. Get over this shit. Everyone knows you want to so give it up. I've fucked around, he's fucked around, and you've fucked around. We all had our reasons and now we're all even. He's never gonna be the first to let it go so if you want him back you're gonna have to suck it up."
Lana knew he was right. "And how am I supposed to tell him I'm over it? You know he'll throw it back in my face and be a dick about it just for the sake of appearances."
"Do what you did with me. Get drunk and fuck him. How could he walk away from that?" He asked with a smirk.
Lana grinned. She'd missed that cocky little grin of his so much. "How bout I just fuck you instead?" She asked, diverting his attention from the matter as she slid her hand back under the covers.
This time he didn't stop her, but simply closed his eyes as she grabbed hold of him and kissed her way down his body. She tossed the blankets back and took him into her mouth, making him groan. His hands threaded through her hair as she swirled her tongue around him.
She ran her tongue up his length and placed a kiss on the very tip before lowering her mouth onto him completely, creating suction and bringing him all the way to the back of her throat.
His hips lifted involuntarily and he caught him right before coming. He pulled her head up and off of him and got up, turning her around. Grabbing her hips, he pulled her back into him and slid into her while he gripped the soft flesh of her ass.
Lana moaned and then grinned when she felt the sting of his hand make contact with her ass. She pushed back into him wanting more and he did it again. After a few more slaps, he reached forward and grabbed a handful of her hair and yanked her up so she was on her knees, leaning back into him.
She turned her head to kiss him, but he grabbed her by the jaw. He had a cold look in his eyes that she knew was just part of his desire to dominate her. She dropped back down to all fours and looked over her shoulder as he continued to ram into her.
She fell forward then and came undone just as he did the same, both of them collapsing onto the bed, still connected.
As they lay there trying to catch their breath, Lana entwined her fingers with his, just appreciating the feeling of him next to her as she finally realized how much she'd missed him. She couldn't keep her thoughts from shifting to Happy and how much she missed him as well.
She knew Kozik was right about her having to be the one to admit defeat, but just the thought made her angry all over again.
Thank you all for your opinions on which way I should take this story and I'm sorry to those of you who wanted the baby, I didn't ask just to ignore your requests and I'm not gonna say one way or the other whether it will be possible in the future. A couple people told me to do what I want because I will never be able to make everyone happy and I agree. Although I originally wanted to go in the other direction, after reading all the reviews that said things are just too crazy right now, I agree. They have too much to worry about at the moment and it's just not the best time for a kid, but like I said, who knows what the future holds? There were a few others who had some good ideas so I will definitely be considering those.
Again, I don't mean to ignore anyone's requests, I am simply doing what I think is best for my story at this time and I hope no one is put off by it. I am still more than happy to hear feedback/suggestions/requests/friendly criticism. Whatever ya'll have to throw at me, it makes me a better writer. It may be my story, but you guys help inspire me and that's why I wanted opinions. I hope everyone continues to enjoy!