Thanks to Emilee Amethyst, oncer4life11 and Araya for the reviews! :)
"Do you think we chose the right color?" Killian asked, stopping his task for a few seconds to look around the room we were standing in with a little focused pout.
"It's pretty hard to say when we don't know the gender." I replied, placing both my hands on my hips. "But you know, light grey and white, it can be good for a boy or a girl."
"Mmm… I'm starting to think I would have preferred pastel colors, it's better for a child's room." He answered, not looking so convinced by my reply.
"Listen, I don't think the baby is going to complain when it will be born." I kindly scoffed. "And if you don't like it, we'll do what we did with Liam : we'll paint the room again when it will be older."
Hook nodded, finally agreeing with my offer, and grabbed his paintbrush again to continue his job with a deeply focused expression on his face.
We were both standing in the space that had been our spare room for a while, but we had decided to empty it and transform it into the room that would welcome the baby. I was 30 weeks pregnant, and it was more than time for us to start as the time was flying, but I was pretty proud of how quick we were progressing. We had only painted half of the room and the crib, made out of white wood, we had chosen wasn't built yet, but we had only begun the job a few days earlier and we were doing pretty well. My parents were usually helping us for the works, but this afternoon, they were babysitting Liam so he could play a little bit with Neal, and Killian and I were thus alone in the house. Hook had been pretty reluctant at first when I had told him I wanted to help arranging the room – after all, I hadn't taken part in the works for Liam's room at the time as I'd had to stay off my feet the last two months of the pregnancy – but I was feeling better than ever, and I was very happy to be able to help my family with building the nest that was going to welcome our child. Seeing my enthusiasm, Hook hadn't wanted to protest, but he was however glancing at me regularly to make sure I wasn't doing too much, and I was always answering with a little smile to reassure him.
I stopped for a second to look around the room, slowly spinning, and placed my forefinger on my chin without really thinking about what I was doing. Killian immediately turned to look at me with a huge grin, and I asked, one of my eyebrow raised in a questioning look.
"What are you laughing at?"
"You put paint on your face." He smiled, a bit mocking.
"Very funny, really." I replied, shaking my head in a falsely annoyed look.
Seeing that he was still chuckling without paying attention to my comment, I grabbed the brush that was dipping into the paint bucket to shake it in his direction. He had changed his usual leather clothes to put on something more comfortable, and his white shirt got covered in grey stains. He looked at me in a deeply offended way, and giggled out loud, saying :
"Who's laughing now?"
He didn't answer anything and approached me, looking at me in a falsely threatening way. I bit my lower lip, wondering what was going to happen to me and, before I could do anything to stop him, he had put his right hand into the paint pot and had placed it on my stomach. I looked down at my overalls to survey the damage : the print of his hand was now etched on the clothes, which, if I was trusting his laughter, he was finding very funny.
"Very clever, Jones." I said, looking up at him, pretending to be mad.
As I was thinking about an idea to take my revenge, the oven rang in the kitchen, warning me that the cake I had prepared was now ready. Cooking had never been my strong suit, but I had wanted to try and make something for Liam when he would come home. I had also told myself that with the little one coming our way, I was going to try and start to cook to help Killian a little bit, as he was always the one to make dinner to avoid going to Granny's every night.
I winced at him, falsely threatening, and said, playfully poking his shoulder :
"This is not over."
He laughed because of my comment, knowing all too well I was messing with him, and he followed me down the stairs to lean against the kitchen counter and stay by my side as I carefully got the cake out of the oven. I noticed that it was looking particularly good for a first try, and took the bowl containing melted chocolate that was laying on the table to spread it on the top of the cake. Killian got a bit closer to me to offer his help, but I refused with a kind smile :
"I would like to try and make it by myself, I wanna see if it's good or not."
"It really looks good, you know." He kindly said.
I was about to answer him, but suddenly had an idea to retaliate against his former attack with the paint. I then dipped my forefinger into the remains of melted chocolate, pretending to be willing to eat it, but instead of gesturing toward my mouth, I quickly moved and drew a huge mark of chocolate on his right cheek. His eyes widened, as if I had just betrayed him grandly, and I started laughing seeing his surprised expression :
"I told you I would take my revenge." I said, almost choking because of my giggles.
He shook his head, grabbed my wrist with his hook, and retaliated by putting chocolate on the tip of my nose. The little battle lasted for a little while, and we ended up both daubed with chocolate, laughing out loud and kissing in the middle of the room. I was finding it so funny that the two grown-ups we were could still play like two little kids, and I couldn't have been happier about it.
"I love you." I stated through my giggles.
He didn't answer anything but kissed me breathlessly, and it was meaning everything to me. We stayed for a long while hugging each other, before I decided it was time for us to go take a shower : my parents were going to arrive pretty soon, and it wasn't a very good example to give the kids that playing with our food. I headed for the bathroom, and Killian got under the shower with me. Since the time we had moved in together, it wasn't the first time this was happening : to be completely honest, this kind of situation was taking place pretty often. We hurried to be ready when our family would arrive, and as I was putting on some clothes, my phone started to ring from the edge of the sink it was laying on. Still laughing because of Hook, that was playing at spraying water on me while I had already put on panties and a t-shirt, I looked at my screen and suddenly frowned :
"It's my mom."
Killian immediately stopped his games to approach me, landing his hand on the small of my back. His brows together, he gestured for me to put the cellphone on speaker mode so he could hear as well, and I picked up, pretty worried :
"Yeah, mom?"
"Emma, am I bothering you?"
"Not at all." I said, all my seriousness back at the idea something could have happened to my son. "What's going on? Is there a problem with Liam?"
"No, he's more than fine, don't worry about him, it's just… Listen, honey, we'd like to talk to you both if it's okay for you."
The tone she had used made my heart skip a beat. I could read fear in her shaky voice, and I didn't like that at all. What could be happening again in this damn town? I shared a concerned look with Killian an answered :
"Aren't you on your way to bring Liam back?"
"No, we're still at the loft. We would rather stay here, if you don't mind joining us. Regina, Robin, Henry and the kids are all here, and we would like to reunite everyone. We have something important to tell you."
"Okay, mom, what's going on?" I asked, more and more worried about her cryptic comments.
"It's complicated, it would be better for us to tell you everything when you'll get here."
Her voice was tenser than ever. I told her we were on our way, and hung up, biting the inside of my cheek, so concerned about all of this. Killian, feeling my worry, gently stroked my spine and said :
"It seems pretty serious, love, but try not to worry too much before knowing what's going on, okay? Perhaps it's nothing that bad, we could be imagining things."
"I know." I sighted without feeling that convinced by his words. "But we should go. The sooner the better." I added, quickly putting on black leggings, the first thing I found on my way.
No more than two minutes later, we were leaving the house. Laying on the kitchen counter, the cake was slowly cooling, vestige of this moment of innocence that was now over for good.
We arrived pretty quickly at my parents' loft. The journey in my yellow bug had taken place in a tormented silence : Hook and I didn't know what was happening, and it was making us very anxious. I knocked at the door to announce our presence, and, knowing all too well what was going through my mind at that moment, Killian gently grabbed my hand to reassure me. I weakly smiled at him and, at my greatest surprised, I heard the lock operating when my mom opened.
"Why did you lock the door?" I asked, seeing her appearing in front of me, completely confused by this discovery.
Since I had arrived in Storybrooke, this door had almost never been locked. The situation had to be extremely bad for my parents to take this kind of precaution, and I noticed that my mom was looking very pale, as if she was scared of something.
"Come on in." She simply told us without answering my question.
I obeyed, Killian following me, and my mom quickly closed the door back behind us as if something dangerous could enter as well. I turned my head to look at the people standing in the room. The kids were all snuggled into a grown-up's arms, as if they were trying to protect them : Neal with my dad, Liam with his brother and Robyn and Roland respectively against Regina and Robin. They were all looking so worried, and the first one to talk was Liam, who, after seeing us, freed himself from Henry's grip to run in my direction :
"Mommy!" He shouted, wrapping his little arms around my neck as I had squatted to greet him.
I forced myself to smile at him, aware that he was probably feeling the fear that was crackling in the air. I looked up at my loved ones, who were all looking at me as if they were all terrified of something, and I said in a cheerful voice to avoid frightening the kids :
"What's going on?"
"Henry, could you take the children with you in my room, please?" My mom kindly asked.
Against all odds, my son didn't protest and came to take Liam by the hand to walk away from us. I got up, my brows together : all of this was very confusing. If everything had been okay, Henry would have been mad to be left aside like that. Things were getting weirder and weirder by the minute, and it was concerning me beyond words.
"What's wrong?" Killian started once we were sure that the kids couldn't hear us anymore.
"Maybe you should both sit down." My dad offered us, but I cut him off.
"No need for that, we just want to know what's going on."
They all shared serious looks, and it's Regina who started to talk again in an insecure tone, thing that was once again pretty unusual :
"It's Zelena. She escaped."
I needed a few seconds to realize how serious the situation was and, when my brain suddenly started to work again, I got so dizzy I didn't know where I was anymore. It couldn't be true. She was locked in a highly controlled cell, she couldn't have escaped. There had to be a mistake somewhere, I had misunderstood what they were trying to tell me.
"Wh… What do you mean?" I stuttered, wanting to make sure I had heard correctly.
"How is that even possible?" Killian said in a muffled voice.
I turned to look at him, triggered by the tone he had used to talk. He had suddenly become deathly pale, and his entire body was tensed, as if he was about to fight against a danger. I didn't even have the strength to whisper something to his ear and comfort him, I was feeling way too bad because of these unexpected news.
"I found the nurse that was bringing her meals knocked out in her cell." Regina explained. "She's probably benefited from a moment of distraction to strike and escape."
"Emma, are you okay?" My mom asked in a worried tone.
"I need to sit down." I whispered, aware that if I was staying on my feet a second longer, my legs wouldn't be able to support my weight anymore and I would faint.
My dad approached me with a concerned look and drove me to the nearest sofa. I would have been unable to do this simple act by myself, the loft was looking way too blurry around me. I sat down on the couch, my breathing jerky as I was horrified by what was happening, trying to calm my terror down as I was feeling a panic attack rushing over me.
Zelena was free again. The same woman that had tried to kill me and my baby. The one I had miraculously escaped from, the one that wasn't supposed to hurt me anymore. She could come and attack me any time now. My family wasn't safe anymore. Six weeks, it was the time during which I had naively thought we would all make it. But she was back, and I was going to suffer again. I couldn't believe it, and I felt my hands starting to shake without being able to control them.
I opened my eyes again, as I had closed them to unsuccessfully try and calm myself down. My dad was settled beside me, and was hesitating to take me into his arms to try and comfort me a little bit. My mom, Robin and Regina were all looking horribly anxious and were staring at me with fear in their eyes, worried by my violent reaction. Killian, holding a bit back, was shaking from the anger.
"The good news is that she still can't use her powers." Regina resumed in a low voice. "I've been careful it would be impossible for her to free herself from the bracelet, this time. She needs magic to get hers back, and for what I know, she has no one to help her in her task. But the bad news is that several guns have disappeared from the station."
I didn't even have the strength to nod at her explanation. Sure, I had magic and she didn't have her powers anymore, but it didn't mean she couldn't take us by surprised and kill me or someone I loved, especially now that she was armed. Terrified, I turned my head to look at my dad, who wrapped his arm around me to pull me close to him :
"It's gonna be okay, Emma. We'll protect you and the baby." He whispered, rocking me against his chest.
"If she's managed to get me once, she'll do it again." I said, feeling tears starting to fill in my eyes.
"Are you okay?" My mom suddenly asked to Killian, who hadn't talked yet.
I looked up to stare at him. He hadn't looked at me since we had learned the news, what was highly unusual. I knew him, he would normally have rushed in my direction to take me into his arms and assure me everything was going to be all right. He had to be in a rage to act that way, and I felt a wave of dread rushing over me, waiting for his reaction.
"How could you let such a thing happen?!" He finally barked, his hand in a fist, looking at Regina with his jaw clenched.
"It was an accident." She defended herself in a surprisingly calm voice. "I don't even now how she's managed to get away like that..."
"But she did!" He cut her off. "She did, and now Emma, no, my entire family is in danger!"
"Calm down." Robin tried to temper, stepping forward to comfort him.
"Calming down?" He repeated with anger. "I almost lost Emma and the baby once! I thought it was over! I thought we were safe!"
I was watching the scene without being able to decide and intervene. It was all feeling like a nightmare, and I was understanding Killian's reaction. I was knowing him better than anyone, and he was always reacting that way when he was scared. But, because of his words, I was even more terrorized : if he wasn't bothering to come and embrace me like he would usually have done, it was because he was thinking that the situation was hopeless. If he was getting that mad, it was because he knew I wouldn't survive this, now that Zelena was out there, and it was awaking all those fears I had buried deep inside of me for weeks.
"We are scared too. Robyn is in danger. But we'll find a solution." Robin resumed in a gentle voice. "We won't let her near Emma, or anyone, once again."
"I'm going to find a solution right now." Killian then said, without screaming this time and it was even more terrifying, because he was in such a rage I was scared he would do something dangerous. "I'm going to find this fucking witch, and I'm going to kill her.
"Killian, no!"
I was the one who had screamed his name like that, without even thinking about what I was doing. But I had to stop him, I didn't have a choice. He had placed his hand on the door, but stopped right away when he heard my voice. I wouldn't have stood him going out there alone, risking to get killed in the process. I knew he just wanted to protect our family, but I was so scared his impulsiveness would lead him to his death. Everyone was now looking at me, and no one was moving, all waiting for what was going to happen. In the silence that had filled in the room, I whispered :
"I can't risk losing you too."
My voice broke on the last word, and I felt a tear streaming down my face without being able to hold it back. Without thinking about it for longer, I freed myself from my dad's embrace and got up to take Killian in my arms. His anger was a sign of fear : he needed to be reassured, to know that I was here and that I knew how to defend myself. And even if I was horrified at the idea of what was happening to me, even if I couldn't help but crying, I wanted to help him calm down. It was my part to make him feel a little bit better, as he was always there for me when I was scared.
"Don't go." I said to his ear, trying not to sob too hard. "Please. Don't put yourself in danger like that. I can't lose you."
"I'm so sorry, darling." He answered, hugging me so tight against him. "It's gonna be okay. We won't let her hurt you, I promise. I'm sorry I got mad, I'm just scared, because I can't stand the fact you're in danger again. But we'll find a way to protect our family, everything is going to be okay."
He wasn't sounding mad at all anymore, it was as if everything that mattered for him was to have me in his arms, and he was gently rocking me against him, all his gentleness back. I buried my face into the crook of his neck, still silently crying. I wasn't only scared for me : I had beaten Zelena once while I didn't have my powers anymore, and I knew how to defend myself. If I had been her only target, it wouldn't have been a problem. But my sons, Killian and the baby were in danger as well. And I knew that, as I was pregnant, I didn't have all my strength to try and protect those I loved. I was so scared to lose someone again, and I was feeling so helpless, because she was armed. A shot could happen so fast…
I was feeling Killian breathing really fast against me, as if he was trying to hold his tears back. He gently ran his fingers down my spine in a comforting stroke and, reassuring each other, we ended up calming down a little bit.
"I'm just happy you're staying here." I whispered in a broken voice after a long silence. "I don't want you to put yourself in danger with everything that's happening."
"I'm so sorry I wanted to go." He said, pulling away from me and I could see his eyes shinning with unshed tears. "I'm just scared of something happening to you again… But we're going to make it. We won't let her hurt us."
"Don't apologize, babe." I said, cupping his cheek, knowing that his reaction was completely understandable. "Just promise me you won't go alone out there to look for her. I'm scared of something happening to you too."
"I promise." He said before embracing me once again.
My mom was silently crying in a corner of the room, looking terrified about something happening to one of us. Without thinking about it, I pulled away from Killian to go hug her, aware that she needed to feel me close in order to calm herself down. She didn't said anything, but she held me tightly against her, as if she was scared I was going to disappear.
Henry, who had watched the entire scene from the bedroom, realized we were all settled down, and brought the kids back beside us. They weren't as cheerful as usual, understanding that something was off with us. Henry immediately came to embrace me, looking horribly worried as well. I forced myself not to start crying again when I realized he was in danger too : He didn't need that on top of everything that was happening. I was his mom, and he needed me to be strong.
"Everything will be all right." I promised, forcing myself to stop my voice from breaking again.
He simply nodded as an answer and blinked to chase his tears away. I then approached Killian again to kiss Liam, who was curled up into his father's arms, on the forehead. I needed to feel my loved ones close to me, because I was so scared of something happening to them when I would least expect it. I needed to make them understand I loved them, because if someone was going to get hurt, I wanted them to know they were my everything.
We ended up deciding to stay at my parents' loft for the rest of the day. None of us was feeling good enough to get out and search for Zelena, and we were all knowing deep down it was unlikely for us to find her : she was hiding, she would only get out when she would want to, and the best thing to do was to be ready for when she would come. Regina placed protection spells all around the loft to prevent an intrusion, and we spent the afternoon trying to comfort each other
But despite all of our encouraging words, we all knew we weren't safe at all anymore. A strange atmosphere was making the air thick, as if a threat was about to explode, and I was feeling deep down something bad was about to happen and we couldn't do anything to avoid it. Despite all of our efforts, I knew Zelena would manage to hurt us. But I didn't know what was going to happen to us, and it was horrifying.
Laying in our bed, my eyes staring at the ceiling, I was trying to take deep breaths to calm the panic attack that was going on for a few minutes already. I wasn't able to fall asleep after what I had learned earlier in the day and, every time I was closing my eyes, I was seeing Zelena appearing in front of me, threatening someone I loved. I had tried to stay strong during the day, but now that everything was dark, I was feeling terrified, and even Killian, who was asleep next to me, wasn't managing to reassure me. Yet, I knew the witch couldn't strike now : She didn't have her magic anymore, and Regina had protected the house with protection spells, as she had done with my parents' loft earlier. But I was so scared at the idea of what was happening to us again. A hand on my bump, I was shaking from the fear and felt a cold sweat starting to cover my forehead. My head was spinning, and I was feeling like I couldn't breathe anymore.
The panic attack went on for a while, and I ended up sitting down and leaning against the headboard to try and catch my breath. I wanted to calm down, but I didn't know what to do to help myself to feel better. I didn't know if anything could comfort me given the state I was in. I just wanted things to be the way they were before, and I was feeling like crying.
"Swan, you okay?"
Killian had spoken in a whisper. I had thought he was sleeping, but now that I was thinking about it, he had probably felt it hard to rest and my jerky breath had alerted him. He turned the light on to see better, and without looking at him, I pressed my lips together to try not to start sobbing and slowly shook my head, tired to pretend everything was okay while I was feeling so bad.
With a boundless gentleness, he took me into his arms, and I placed my head on his shoulder as his hand was going up my back in a comforting stroke.
"You're shaking." He noticed, rocking me against his chest.
"I'm sorry." I said before starting to cry again. "I didn't want to scare you."
"Em', sweetheart, you don't have to apologize." He gently said." You've been so strong all day, it's almost unbelievable. Crying doesn't make you weak, you know. Everyone would have crumbled under the fear, but you've done everything to look well in front of the kids. You're the bravest person that I know, so don't blame yourself, okay?"
I slowly nodded, touched by his words, and stayed snuggled into his arms for a very long time. I ended up pulling away a little bit to wipe off my tears. I wasn't that reassured, but not keeping everything to myself anymore had helped me a lot : I had the right to cry too, I had the right to be vulnerable from time to time. It wasn't making me less strong, it wasn't forbidden and it had done me good.
Killian looked at me straight into my eyes and ran his hand through my messy hair, saying :
"I'm scared too, you know. But we're going to find a solution. We're not going to let her hurt you, we're not making that mistake once again. I promise you we'll do everything to protect our family, Emma. I love you so, so much."
"I love you too." I whispered with a slight smile as he was taking me against him again.
We fell asleep cuddled against each other, still afraid by the situation but a bit comforted by the other's presence next to us.
Here we go! So, as you've probably guessed it, Zelena is back, and wants her revenge more than ever! The few followings chapters are quite dark and eventful, I hope you'll like it! :)