If you're uncomfortable with Male/Male intimacy, you shouldn't read this chapter.

Will was surprised that, among all the various emotions he was experiencing at the same time, the strongest one was joy. Joy from the warmth feeling of Sonny's skin. Joy from being surrounded by his strong arms. Joy from the way Sonny's eyes were widening more than Will would have thought possible, letting him be sucked in their rich brown. Joy from being in control, allowed and free, being given reins by someone who was putting him first.

But when Sonny started moaning, his voice dark and filled with lust, the joy, though still there, was overshadowed by tension. His own body was wound as a spring, stopping his movements, paralyzing his brain. His eyes sent a silent plea to his boyfriend. Sonny was trembling and panting, but he was still very conscious. His body shifted, as he extracted Will's hand from his boxers and he placed his chin on Will's shoulder. He enveloped him with his legs and arms, so well Will felt like he was surrounded by a soft loving cloud. Sonny's voice traveled on Will's neck, sending shivers, as he whispered "It's okay. Take your time. You want to cuddle for a while?"

Will couldn't answer but he didn't resist when Sonny lay him on the bed and wrapped them in the comforter. He focused on his breathing, searching in his memory, once again, for that trigger, this explanation for his inability to function properly. Was it his dad? The fight was still fresh. Yet Will had never put any weight in the man's opinion, he was hardly a father figure to him. Was it his bigger-than-life mother? She had been reticent at first but she liked Sonny a lot and had always been respectful of Will's right to privacy. Why couldn't he be simple like that Melanie, who had virile, confident Chad wrapped around her little finger? She deserved him and he didn't deserve Sonny. His eyes were prickling and he hated himself for crying, for ruining their first time.

"I love you. Exactly how you are, Will. I have nightmares where you leave me and you tell me it's better this way. I've woken up crying. Please, believe me..."

Will managed to reply:

- I'm useless here Sonny. I trust you and I love you but my body doesn't listen. You feel so good in my hand, it's painfully arousing.

- Maybe I could do something, if you trust me so much. Something that will help you relax."

Will nodded slightly. Sonny put the comforter away, as well as his boxers. Will gulped. He wanted Sonny so much. He wanted to recapture that joy from earlier, share it with Sonny.

Sonny's pecks on his chest were as soft as the patters of a sparrow on the snow. Will barely registers how far he had progressed until he felt a tongue at the base of his penis. It wasn't invasive, rather volatile, leaving small patches of wetness, making Will groan in pleasure. His head was thrown back and he felt that, indeed, he was relaxing.

Sonny became bolder and Will not only let him, but put his own fingers in Sonny's bushy dark hair, caressing it.

"Yes, yes... That's good...

- You like it? Say it if you like it...

- Yes, it's... I like it..."

Slowly, Sonny brought him to the brim, giving him his body back. Will felt grateful and content, the enjoyment of orgasm being replaced by a strange serenity. Sonny cleaned him and took him in his arms. He was still hard, so Will went back to stroking him softly

"It's okay, Will, you don't have to...

- Shhhh" He kissed him silent, on hand on Sonny's sweaty back, another obeying his mind once again and when Sonny came all over the sheets, Will grinned victoriously.

The afterglow was longest than the act itself. Sonny was the one needing reassurance now, his fingers smoothing the sheet nervously, his words asking if Will was all right, his eyes betraying his vulnerability. And Will felt he didn't mind it. Here he was, lying naked, telling someone else his deepest secrets, his hidden fears. Revealing his sensuality, even to himself. He felt different. He offered that revelation to Sonny to thank him.

They must have fallen asleep at some point, because when Will opened his eyes, the clock said it was morning. Will sat up, his thoughts all chaotic, but swept by strong instinctive currents, telling him he had to leave, to see his sister and deal with her hurting, but another telling him to stay with Sonny, so as not to wound him, and a third one, all sensations, reacting to what had happened the night before. He ran ahead and ended in the bathroom, throwing up. He blindly searched in the drawer next to the sink for a toothbrush and once he was better, he went back to the bed. Sonny was surfacing, his hair sticking in all direction, looking sexy in an almost dirty way.

"Hello, sunshine. We can cuddle a little but then I have to go. My sister needs me.

- I know... You want me to come with?

- I do, but you can't. She got all wound up defending you yesterday. She needs to stay calm. I'd rather stay with you...

- You're a great brother, Will. You have the biggest heart. I'm lucky to get a fraction of it." Will smiled shyly.

- You own more than that. I'm yours Sonny.

- So, why are you resisting at times? What's wrong?

- I don't know..." Sleepy Sonny was pouty. His tone more frustrated. Will didn't blame him.

They kissed and rubbed the other's skin and hair for a few minutes, then Will got dressed and went home.

He hadn't told his mother he was coming late but he was over eighteen and he knew she wouldn't be shocked. Or even worried. Will hoped his father hadn't try to come back.

The birds were sending pure notes in the crystal air, like a parade for him after such a fated night. Will's heart provided the big drum and his feet were marking the rhythm. He reached his door, opening it quietly. He found his mother and his sisters on the couch, drinking hot chocolate. He joined them, exchanging a meaningful look with Sami, then focusing on Allie.

By the time EJ's driver had taken back John and Sydney, Allie was back to her quiet self. Will had shared his stories of what he had witnessed when Lucas got drunk and shown that when he wasn't, he was always back to decent. He had also apologized for calling him on his emotional abandon, saying he never resented her for it. She had said she understood, nevertheless, he spent the day cuddling her, hugging her, only letting go to prepare the food. It was a frozen meal. He would have to ask Sonny for more lessons in cooking, not just for cookies.

In the evening, they all played a board game. The children's laughs were soothing, feeling him with hope. True, he was a virtual orphan on his father's side, but his future was wide open. And he was even loved.

He called Sonny before bed, feeling horribly far, even though he knew he could reach Sonny's place in less than ten minutes. He wasn't going to, anyway. He had classes on the next day and another exam at the end of the week. This one was very easy but he still needed his sleep. He checked his cell alarm a few times, being greeted by the photo he had taken of Sonny. His bed felt foreign. Maybe he should buy a bigger one. The room was spacious enough and was the only bedroom at this floor...

He dreamt of Sonny all night.