A/N: Whoo! Last chapter! Sorry this took absolutely forever, lol. Life definitely gets in the way.

Chapter 9: November 20th

Honestly, he hadn't thought that the little he had said to Gilbert would have put a strain on their friendship. It had only been a week and already he had started to feel like Gilbert was slowly moving away from him. Not physically, but he was acting more distant as if they hadn't spent the whole semester getting closer. It was weird, especially when thy both showed up at the café they went to at the same time but didn't sit together.

Matthew sighed, taking out the homework he was going to do, moving his hot chocolate slightly away, and looking up to glance at what Gilbert was doing. He was simply talking to Pam with a smile on his face. It really was a wonder that almost no one knew this softer side of him… the side that was caring towards other and super attentive.

He shook his head quickly, cheeks starting to feel warm. He wasn't the only one who Gilbert showed that side to. He had other friends of course. Moving quickly, he started to work on his homework, deciding that it would be better to just finish what he had come to do.

After only having worked for about a half hour, he felt someone slide into the seat across from him. He looked up, pushing his glasses up from where they had slumped down. Matthew blinked realizing he had forgotten about his drink absently before focusing on his guest. "Yes Gilbert?"

Gilbert smiled a bit, waving his hand in a greeting fashion. "Just wondering how you're doing… We haven't talked much, have we?" Matthew frowned, setting down the highlighter he had been holding and closing his book. Was that what Gilbert was viewing their distance as?

"I guess so." There wasn't much more he could answer, was there? "I'm just trying to finish this homework."

Gilbert, looked down towards his pile of papers, book, and journal. "It's getting close to the end of the semester, isn't it?"
"It is." This type of talk annoyed him, it felt as if Gilbert didn't know him all. It all felt so stuffy and distant. Matthew exhaled, tilting his head slightly, "Gilbert, was there something you wanted to actually tell me?"

At that, the other looked a bit taken a back. Did that not sound like something he'd say? While waiting for an answer, Matthew decided to start putting his stuff away. This was going nowhere and since his drink wasn't hot anymore, he might as well start heading back to the dorm. Glancing at Gilbert, he seemed to want to say something but shook his head and rested his chin in his hand.

"I want to talk to you."

"You can, right now."

"No, in private. Not here. I want to talk about the other day, before Antonio and Lovino showed up."

"Gilbert…"

"Mattie," Gilbert started speaking in a serious tone, looking slightly desperate. "I know you said you didn't have an answer, but still- I want to talk this out. I'm not having any of that misunderstanding shit Antonio and Lovino went through." He stood up, leaving a scrap of paper on the table near Matthew's phone. "Meet me after classes are over, around four here," he tapped the paper, "I'll be there waiting for you. That is… if you want to show up."

Grabbing the piece of paper, Matthew let his shoulders slump. Was this really necessary? Sure, he had been feeling different around Gilbert, but he wouldn't… he couldn't say it was love, was it? Not that he had ever been in love before… but wasn't supposed to be different? More of a fireworks kind of thing than what he had been feeling?

Despite what Alfred and Lovino had been telling him, how could they be sure of him liking Gilbert that way? Shouldn't he know more about it than anyone else? And really, was there any reason not to talk about this with Gilbert? Even if it was to just convince Gilbert that he did not like him that way and wasn't planning on dating any time soon.

"We'll see what happens, okay?"

Gilbert just nodded before walking away from him and going back over to Pam. Matthew scrambled to get up, shove the paper into his pocket, and finish packing up so he could leave.

He didn't think he'd be able to get any of his homework done that day…

~ooXoo~

It was slowly inching closer to four. He didn't have a three to four class like Gilbert did so he was in his room, mind running at a high speed with thoughts about whether he'd meet Gilbert and if he did, what he'd say. Lovino had gotten back late from classes and was currently reading some book that Matthew honestly didn't bother asking about. Currently, the only thing he cared about was what Gilbert wanted to say to him and why it couldn't wait and oh my god this is making me anxious.

He literally only had twenty minutes to decide whether he would actually meet Gilbert or feign that he forgot even though he knew Gilbert would figure out that he chose not to go. Matthew hadn't even noticed that he had started pacing and that Lovino was now crossly glaring at him.

"Okay, I give. What in the world are pacing about?" Jumping slightly, Matthew turned to Lovino and gave him a blank stare. His mouth was open trying to get words out but failing. Lovino sighed, set his book aside, and sat up. Oh no, this was going to turn into Lovino convincing him to go, wasn't it?

"I… Gilbert… I mean," he stuttered trying to piece his jumbled thoughts into some type of coherent sentence. "Gilbert wants me to… meet him at four. To talk."

"That's in fifteen minutes." Matthew could only nod, feeling a cold sensation travel down his throat and into his stomach. "And you're still deciding? What the fuck does he need to say to you?"

"It's about the other day… before we shoved you and Antonio out into the snow." He sat down on the ground, staring at his crossed legs, "He kind of… asked me if I liked him."

"And?"
"…said he liked me… I said I didn't know…" Matthew let his voice die down by itself. His last words were definitely more quiet than what he had intended.

"You what?!" Lovino sounded more than shocked, "Matthew, didn't I tell you to take care of your own issues?" Lovino was standing now, he could tell from how his legs actually touched the floor now. "And I know I'm not the only one who's told you so! Alfred has too, hasn't he? You actually said you don't know after Gilbert told you he likes you?!"

"Lovino… I honestly don't know how I feel about Gilbert."

Matthew looked up Lovino, ignoring the fact that the Italian wanted to go on a mini rant about Matthew ignoring his own emotions. He did not know how to go about this. Helping his friends was one thing, he was outside of the problem then, now he's part of it… He couldn't think of his own solutions…

"…re you even listening to me?"

"Huh?"

Lovino sighed, almost as if he had given up. "Just. Go. At the very least so you don't leave open ends. We have break in two and a half weeks, after that you can't do anything else."

Matthew kept looking at him confused. He kind of wanted to go, if only to see what Gilbert had to say… But at the same time, the very thought of having to go was making him anxious. "But-"

"No buts! Go! Before Gilbert gives up waiting for you. Jeez, you're hardheaded when it comes to yourself." Lovino held out his hand, prompting Matthew to take it. Reluctantly, he let Lovino pull him up. He frowned before moving to grab his coat and keys. "You've got to stop doing that. You'll run yourself into the ground."

With a final piece of advice, he was pushed unceremoniously from their dorm into the hall. He could already feel a cold sensation taking over his stomach as he walked towards Gilbert.

~ooXoo~

He felt apprehensive about walking in. He had only just gotten there and his thoughts were already yelling at him to turn around and head back. And at the same time… wasn't this something he had wanted to experience?

Before he could make up his mind, Matthew walked through the garden's archway, making his way towards the tiny marble bench in the back that was a bit more hidden from sight than the others. He had a good idea why Gilbert chose to meet here, but he didn't want to dwell on it. Even if he confirmed it, that would make this too real.

And he didn't like Gilbert that way. Of course, he didn't, any jumps to his heartbeat and flushes across his skin were caused by other things.

"Mattie!"

He was so distracted that he hadn't noticed when he reached where Gilbert had been sitting. Matthew felt himself flush as Gilbert stood up, a look of disbelief on his face.

"I thought you weren't going to come," he said looking away. "You didn't seem too interested in hearing me out." That made Matthew freeze on the spot. He wasn't completely wrong. It was more like he couldn't give Gilbert a straight answer.

"I—I didn't try to seem that way…"

"You were just avoiding talking about it when I tried to clear the air with you."

"No I wasn't!" Matthew blurted out, immediately covering his mouth with a hand. He shook his head and looked down. That wasn't what he had intended to do. Gilbert had avoided him for a bit too, hadn't he? "I wasn't purposefully trying to avoid you…. But you didn't approach me either."

He could hear Gilbert shuffle around, sigh, and plop back down on the bench. "Look Mattie, I don't want us to start arguing about this." He nodded, deciding to sit down cross-legged on the gravel path. "Can I explain my part?"

Matthew look up, seeing a serious look on the other's face. He motioned that he was listening. That made Gilbert almost deflate with relief.

"Thank you."

Had it been sunny when he left the dorm? He didn't notice when it had become cloudy again. It made the branches of the rose bushes stand out, despite them being barren and lightly covered in snow.

"I've wanted to tell you that I like you for a while. But every time I tried to, you either steered the conversation elsewhere or I couldn't find a good opening." Gilbert stopped to look Matthew in the face. "That's why I decided to just say it. We were just waiting. I thought you felt the same."

"Gilbert…"

"You seriously haven't thought about it?"

He sighed out. "No."

"You haven't felt anything around me?"

"N—" Yes, he had. But that couldn't possibly be enough to say it was a crush on him…. was it? Crushes meant constantly thinking about that person. Crushes meant wondering about how it would feel to date them, to hold their hand, to kiss them. He had never imagined that with Gilbert. "…I don't know."

"You paused…" Gilbert looked at him curiously. "You can explain if you want."

Matthew stayed silent, fiddling with his fingers while trying to think of a response. It wouldn't hurt to tell Gilbert… but what would he do then? "I… I've never had a crush on anyone… I don't know what it's like."

"Is that the only reason?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

Frustrated, Matthew stood up. It scared Gilbert to the point of almost falling off the bench. "I haven't thought about dating you! You make me feel… confused." It was hard to not look at Gilbert while he spoke, he felt like if he looked at him, he'd explode from embarrassment. "I… feel something… like… fluttering feelings. But I've never imagined myself doing couple things with you…"

"Fluttering feelings?" It made Matthew's heart skip a beat when he saw how hopeful that had made Gilbert. He seemed like a little kid that had just been given a puppy.

He could feel his cheeks heat up, "do I have to answer that…?"

Gilbert shook his head rapidly, "no, no!" He was still smiling, but it was smaller. "I guess… how about this." He reached out to grab Matthew's hand, pulling him down into the seat and readjusting himself so they'd fit onto the bench. He breathed out and looked down, almost like he was trying to ignore the confused look Matthew was giving him. "You don't have to give me an answer. At least for now."

"What do you mean?"

"Go on a few dates with me."

"Gilbert…"

He looked up just to stick his tongue out at the Matthew. "Three dates. That's all I ask for, Mattie."

"But—"

"If, by then, you still don't feel anything more than you do now, then I'll know your answer." Gilbert cocked his head, sticking out a thumbs-up, "so, is it a deal?"

It didn't sound bad. He could think and come to a conclusion later. A test run of what a relationship might be like with Gilbert, but without the label. Three dates. It made his heart beat faster. He kind of liked the idea. "That… I can do that."

"Yes!" Gilbert jumped up, punching into the air with excitement. He couldn't stop smiling at Matthew, "that's good enough for me."

Sighing out, Matthew sunk down into the bench. He thought Gilbert would expect a straight answer from him. Fortunately, it had worked out without a problem. He stayed quiet, wondering how to end it without it being awkward. Gilbert was happily murmuring to himself about ideas. Maybe he didn't need to say anything, or have anything planned. This time, he could figure out his feelings as the events happened.

Then he'd tell Gilbert how he felt.