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I got awakened by unpleasant tingling in my limbs, and slowly got out of the heavy state of unconsciousness I was in. I tried to move and get rid of the disturbing sensation, without opening my eyes either as my eyelids were feeling so heavy they were a bit painful. I was surprised to notice my legs were so weak it was hard for me to move them, and, my brain a bit blurry because of my health and the state of exhaustion I was in, I didn't recall right away what had happened a bit earlier in the day.

It's only when I decided to open my eyes a few minutes later that everything fell into place in my head. I felt my heart skipping a beat, my stomach twisted, almost making me sick on its way, and I understood that my weakness was probably coming from the fact I had lost a huge amount of blood. I was feeling a hand tightly holding mine, and slowly turned my head to look at Hook, who was sitting on a chair beside the bed. I opened my mouth, wanting to ask him how was our baby girl :

"Killian..." I stated in a voice so husky it was unrecognizable.

He didn't give me the time to resume my sentence and ask my questions. He had immediately noticed I was awake, and in an impulse of love, he approached me to kiss every inch of my face. I held him close to my chest, gently caressing his back to comfort him, understanding his reaction : he had thought he had lost me, I had probably almost died in the delivery room, and I was myself feeling pretty relieved to have him near me. The touch of his lips against my skin was so comforting I felt my heartbeat slowing down a little. He ended up pulling away from me, and I noticed the big bags he had under his red eyes from crying too much. I took his hook in my hand, wanting to reassure him as seeing him in such distress was making my heart ache. He said in a broken voice, cupping my face with his right hand and gently stroking my cheek with his thumb:

"How are you feeling, sweetheart? God, I was so scared..."

"How is she?" I answered with fear in my shaky voice, not answering his question. "How is our baby?"

"I don't know exactly." He answered, looking so sad, and I placed my free hand above his on my face to feel him even closer to me. "I wanted to stay with you in case you..." He didn't finish his sentence and swallowed thickly as if this thought was making him physically sick, and I briefly stroked his skin to ease him and showed him I was okay. "But your parents and Henry are in the waiting room, they've gone to see her several times. They told me she was stabilized for now, but she's under respiratory assistance."

My heart skipped a beat at his words and I started to get dizzy. My daughter, my baby girl needed help to breathe. I should have known it : her lungs were probably not completely formed yet, but the thought of my little baby not even able to breathe by herself was making my heart ache in fear. I wanted to see her more than anything. I needed to know how she was doing, I needed to make sure she was going to make it. I then said hastily without waiting for Killian to add something :

"I wanna see her."

"Emma, you've lost a lot of blood." He gently answered, freeing his hand from my grip to run it through my hair, tears shinning deep inside his eyes. "You need to rest. Whale said the fact you're alive is a miracle. You can't do any efforts right now, I'm not sure it's a good idea..."

"Killian, our little girl is fighting for her life right now. She needs her parents, she needs to feel us beside her." I countered in a husky voice, but ready to argue to get what I wanted. "I want to see her. I need to."

He seemed to think for a few minutes, but he ended up nodding. He was so worried for me, but he also knew I was right : our baby needed our help, and there was no way we were staying here doing nothing while she was fighting out there. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, and I noticed how exhausted he seemed to be, as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He finally started to talk again to say in a low voice :

"Okay, you're right. She needs us. I'll go ask a nurse if she can bring you a wheel chair, you can't walk right now, it's not good for you. I'm going to send your parents here while I'm gone, I... I really don't want you to stay alone right now."

He didn't leave right away and took the time to lean forward and press a tender kiss on my forehead, as if he was scared I was going to disappear if he was walking away from me. Sensing his distress and despite my own fear, I wanted to reassure him. Very gently, I then placed my hand above his, which was placed on my shoulder, and whispered :

"I love you. I'll be okay."

I saw his lips moving to form a very small smile, but it quickly faded away. He approached me once again to kiss me, on my lips this time, then let go of my hand to walk backward toward the door, not wanting to leave my sight as not seeing me for a while was probably scaring him to death. He ended up getting out of the room, but offered me a long stare before going, as if he was scared he would never see me again.

The door closed in silence. I was getting his fear so well, and his wish to stay close to me was understandable. I was myself feeling pretty anxious now that his comforting presence was gone. For what I had understood, I had nearly died earlier, and he had almost lost me again, for good this time. But for now, the baby was the most important. She needed us. We were her parents, and it was our part to protect her and support her. My own health was coming in second place.

The room was pitch-dark, what made me understand it was night outside. I had lost all sense of time or space, and now that Hook was gone, my heart was pounding so fast in my chest it was almost painful. Now that I was finding myself alone with my fear, I was feeling like it was devouring me from the inside. My baby was between life and death, all of this because I hadn't managed to keep calm when I had needed to. If I hadn't panicked, I would still have been pregnant and my baby wouldn't have been sick right now. It was all my fault, once again. The Savior, the called me. They were all so wrong, because I was only good at ruining everything and making the people I loved suffer.

The door opened again to reveal my parents and Henry as I was lost in my dark thoughts. They all rushed toward me and, despite my weakness and the fact I was feeling sick, I managed to sit down to all take them in my arms in an intense embrace. We didn't say anything for a few seconds as their jerky breaths were ringing against the walls. I was just relieved that my family was safe and that they had survived the attack without being hurt.

"We've been so scared." My mom ended up whispering, cupping my face in her hands, her eyes filled in with unshed tears.

"Have you seen the baby?" I asked, keeping Henry's hand in mine.

Feeling the presence of one of my children beside me was comforting me so much. My son was safe and healthy, and even if I knew he would need time to get better after what he had just lived, he wasn't physically hurt. My dad slowly nodded and said in a gentle voice, a bit broken by his sadness :

"We have, Hook's told us you wanted to see her as well."

"How is she?" I asked in a low voice.

"She's okay for now. But we're not going to lie to you." My mom gently admitted. "She's really tiny. Don't be too surprised when you'll see her, all right?"

I nodded to show her I was getting her explanation. They were all about to cry, but I didn't think for one second about sobbing with them. The fear was more important than anything, and all that mattered for now was to know if my daughter was all right. I didn't have the time to cry. I needed to be strong, for my little girl.

"Is Liam okay?" I asked in a weak voice, laying back down on the mattress and feeling the need to know if my baby boy was safe.

I was happy he hadn't witnessed anything that had happened recently. He had lived neither being an hostage nor seeing me suffer so much, and I was so glad about it. He was still very young, and he had already been in danger so many times, I was just relieved he was safe for now.

"He's perfectly fine." My dad assured, as he had placed his hand on my head as if he wanted to protect me from all harm. "He's sleeping at Ashley's with the other kids. We lied to him and told him he was attending a sleepover. We didn't want to tell him you had given birth and you were at the hospital. It wasn't a good idea to worry him before bedtime. We'll tell him everything tomorrow and bring him here so you and Hook can see him."

"Thanks." I whispered, so grateful. "You did good. The situation is already complicated enough like that, and he's till so young. I would like to protect him, even if it's hard with everything that's happening..."

"We get it." My dad kindly smiled.

"About Zelena..." My mom added.

I nodded to encourage her to continue. I hadn't asked what had happened when I had left for the hospital because, for now, everything that was mattering to me was making sure my family and the baby was okay. But I knew my mom was going to keep on talking anyways, regardless of me agreeing with her or not. I knew her now, I was aware that when she was frightened, she always needed to talk, no matter the subject, just to keep on hoping. If it was helping her, I was certainly not going to stop her from giving me the information she had about the witch.

"Regina is with her at the station. Zelena has removed the bracelet she had put around her sister's wrist, and has let her taking her magic away without trying to protest. She's looking completely lost now that her plan has failed for good. They are both talking right now. Regina thinks that if she keeps on behaving and if we don't give her her magic back, she could arrange something so Zelena will be able to see Robyn. She wants to give her another chance, because she knows how hard it is to be separated from a kid. And she would like Robyn to have a chance to know her biological mom if Zelena isn't a danger for her little girl. Everything is being discussed right now."

I was about to nod again, but the door opened and I sat back down, helping myself up with my elbows, to see Killian entering the room, a nurse pushing a wheel chair behind him. Eager to finally go meet my daughter, I tried to get back up, but the simple fact of sitting on the edge of the bed asked me so much strength black spots started to invade my sight. A sudden and acute migraine started to pound in my head, and despite my efforts to not show my family how sick I was feeling, Killian noticed it right away. He came to wrap his arm around my waist, and whispered to my ear :

"Don't try to do too much at once, darling. Please, let me help you."

I stopped moving and tried to smile at him, but only managed to give him half a grin. I knew helping me and making sure I was all right was comforting him a lot. He had been so scared for me, and I was getting that being overprotective was making him feel better, and I was most certainly not going to take that away from him. I then let him almost carry me to the wheel chair, and the nurse placed my drips, one of blood and one of water, on a hook above my head. The young woman made sure everything was okay for me before saying in a gentle voice :

"You know where are the incubators, right? I suppose you prefer to go together. I'm staying close if there is the slightest problem, don't hesitate to call, okay?"

I thanked her by a little nod, grateful that she was leaving us alone together for this moment, and I watched her getting out of the room. My heart was pounding so fast in my already painful chest. I so wanted to go see my little girl, to hold her close to me, but I was also so scared of what I was going to discover. They had made me understand she was very weak, and I was scared she wouldn't survive this. Sure, she was stabilized for now, but she was helped by a respirator, and would probably have to stay at the hospital for a long time before getting better. The days that were coming were going to be crucial, I knew it. I swallowed thickly, horribly worried, and my mom gently ran her hand through my hair to show me her support, getting my fear. At the same time, Hook placed his hand on my shoulder, sensing my terror as well and, without saying anything, I approached my hand to squeezed his fingers between mine. Then, a few seconds later and still without saying anything, my mom began to push the chair, and we started to slowly walk in the hospital's corridors.

They were empty at this late hour. Only a few nurses were still working, and they all watched us walking by, a sorry look on their faces. Everyone was knowing us in this town, and I knew every single one of our friends were feeling sincerely sad for what was happening to us. Most of them were probably wondering what kind of curse had hit our family so we could never be happy more than a few months in a row without something really bad hitting us right after. Sometimes, I was wondering this as well. And then I was remembering that, most of the time, all those horrible things were coming by my fault. And I was hating myself for it.

My mom ended up stopping in front of a huge bay window. The neonatal intensive care unit. As I was sitting down, I couldn't see what was happening behind it, but looking up at Killian, I noticed his face had transformed to display a deeply painful expression. I then understood that what I was about to see was going to hurt me really badly. I chose to ignore the pain in my body, and straightened in my chair to finally see my baby, my heart pounding so fast that I felt like I couldn't breathe for a few seconds.

She was there, laying in an incubator looking ten times too big for her, her eyes closed. She was so small. Electrodes were placed on her little stomach, and she was linked to several machines monitoring her breathing. Her tummy was moving up and down at a slow pace, but I understood it was only thanks to the respirator that was keeping her alive.

She was looking so fragile I was feeling like she could break at the slightest move. We hadn't even had the time to buy her clothes before her birth. She was wearing a little pink beanie borrowed to the hospital, and was only dressed with a diaper. She was looking peaceful, sleeping like that, but I knew it was just an illusion. She was fighting for her life.

Nobody talked for a while, we were all holding our breath, as if something important was about to happen. Killian was still looking deeply shocked, but he hadn't let go of my shoulder. Gently, without really thinking about what I was doing, I freed myself from his embrace to rip the drips out of my arm and get on my feet. Every single part of my body was aching, I had a migraine, but none of that mattered. I just wanted to get close to my daughter, share a little bit of her pain, take a bit of her distress, discharge her of a burden that was way too heavy to bear. With a few shaky steps, I walked toward the window, and no one tried to stop me, knowing all too well they couldn't make me change my mind. In a sort of trance, staring at my baby girl, I placed my palm against the glass, as if I wanted to show her I was there. And then I stood still.

After a while, I felt a presence beside me. I left my baby's sight to turn my head and look at Killian, who was now standing next to me. I saw tears running down his cheeks, he was quietly crying. I still didn't feel the need to evacuate my pain, and I couldn't understand why, because I should have been the first one to sob given the cocktail of hormones flowing through my veins. Very gently, I cupped his face to wipe off his tears, and leaned to press a little kiss on the corner of his lips. He turned to look at me, wrapped both his arms around my waist, pulling me into a tight embrace and kissing my temple as I was resting my painful head against his shoulder.

We stayed for a long time in that position, snuggled against each other, watching our baby breathing. And then, without surprise, my legs ended up giving up on me. After all, I wasn't linked to the blood drip anymore, and I had made way too many efforts given my state. The accident didn't really matter, as Hook was still holding me close and caught me before I hit the ground. He helped me sit back down on the chair, almost carrying me to it, and a nurse rushed toward us when she saw what was going on. In an almost severe way, she said while placing the drips back into my arm.

"You have to stay still, you really can't walk right now."

"Can we go hold her?" Killian asked, gently running his hand through my hair to ease me.

He had said out loud what I was hoping for in silence for what seemed like an eternity. I wanted to take her against me, to feel her move in my arms and watch her simply breathe to reassure myself and make sure she was alive and was going to survive this. But the nurse shook her head with a sad expression on her face :

"It's gonna be difficult tonight. She's linked to a lot of machines. But tomorrow, we will let you take her, it's a promise. We want her to have the most human contacts possible despite her state of health, to encourage the attachment. But meanwhile, it's very late. You should go and get some rest, you've had a tough day."

And she walked away without adding anything. The silence filled in the place for a few seconds, the disappointment crackling in the air. I could guess that Killian wanted to take our baby girl in his arms more than anything as well, but it was impossible for now, and it was so frustrating. I could have stayed all night in front of this window, simply watching her sleep, but my mom started to talk again in a low voice :

"The nurse is right, you both need to rest. Exhausting yourself won't help the baby."

I decided to pretend I hadn't heard her. I didn't want to go back to my room while my daughter was there, I wanted to look after her, to protect her, even if it was from far away. But Killian squatted in front of me to look at me in the eyes. I could see he was still crying, and, once again, my stomach twisted in sadness. I hated to see him in such distress, and I would have done anything for him to feel better.

"Your mother is right, sweetheart. You need to go and get some rest."

"Do you think she's cold?" Was the only thing I managed to ask him in a whisper.

"I'll go ask a nurse to bring her a blanket." My dad promised.

"Em', please." Hook begged, seeing that I was still not convinced to move. "You need to sleep and get some strength back. I don't want something to happen to you, not in addition to everything."

I ended up nodding slowly, ready to do everything for him to feel better. He gently took me in his arms in a quiet thank you, and I buried my face into the crook of his neck to breathe him. And then, a bit forced by my family, even if I knew they were right, I agreed on joining my hospital room again.

I insisted to take a shower despite how sick I was feeling. I didn't know why, but I was feeling like finding myself under the hot water would help me to feel better. Killian entered the shower with me to make sure I wasn't fainting, but I also knew it was because he didn't want to leave me after what had happened. We stayed in a tight embrace for a long while as the hot water was running down our skins.

My parents had brought me clothes to change myself. I put on a wide blouse and leggings without saying a thing. I didn't want to talk, everything was bringing me back to my little girl, and I was only thinking about her. Killian respected my silence, as I was respecting his tears. Once in the bed and despite my drips, he managed to join me on the mattress to take me into his arms. I snuggled against his strong body, both my arms wrapped around him, my face buried in his neck. The silence was only broken by our breaths, mine calm and steady, his jerky because of his sobs. I kissed him several times on the chin, trying to comfort him as my fingers were stroking his back. And after a long while spent at trying to reassure each other, we ended up falling asleep.

Okay, so no more cliffhangers for this fiction hehe! There's only 4 chapters left after this one, but I have another fiction that's already written and that I consider to be the next volume of this story. I hope you liked this chapter, and see you Monday for more!