When Loki enters the bookshop for the first time in weeks, Ralph stares at him as though he is a ghost, "Son, I don't know where you've been, but you've got some explaining to do before you come behind this counter again."
"I did not expect to be gone. I called to Asgard out of desperation and Asgard kept me for weeks. I am sorry I could not notify you of my predicament."
"And just why did they keep you?"
"Because I brought them a very powerful relic and sought to use it for time travel and to bring someone forward who had died."
"Let me guess. Your mom."
"Yes."
"So now time travel's real, too?"
"Only with this one very powerful Stone."
"You live a life Jules Verne would have been jealous of."
"I was offered the chance to stay and live in a cell for a few thousand years or to return and live but the sixty or so I have remaining. I chose this life."
"Why?"
"I cannot stand to be alone. I need every person in this life I am continually building- and unlike in Asgard, here I have every option open to me and I am truly building my own beautiful life. Including you and this bookshop. Please, allow me to resume my post. I will not be leaving it again."
"You left me in a lurch. I'm probably a fool for this, but come on back. There's tea in the office."
Loki beams as he hangs up his coat and makes himself a cup, "What shall I start with?"
"Taxes are due in a few days. I'll get you the forms."
He sits down at his little desk and arranges his pencils and reports, "Ah yes. The date I have prepared for all year. Bring them forth, let us see how well my record keeping will serve us."
And with that, Loki happily slips back into his role as a bookshop clerk. Over the next few days he updates his receipts books and reports, eventually tackling the tax forms. He drops them in the post the day before they are due, confident in his calculations.
When he finally tells Ralph what his absence was all about, Ralph pours another bit of wine into his tea and sighs, "Son, you have got to develop some better coping skills. And to accept that you just can't undo some things. Death is one of them. Even in the stories, it's a bad idea. Never ends well."
"I know. It doesn't in our stories, either. But I was desperate. I miss them both deeply. And I still wonder what I did wrong to lose Alexi."
"From what you've told me, you didn't do anything wrong. TIming was just shit. If the war wasn't on, he'd probably still be here."
"That does nothing to comfort me."
"I know, I know. But that's the way things are. Maybe he'll return. Maybe he won't. You've got to decide how long to wait or if you want to follow him."
Loki shakes his head, "No. This is where we are. This place. You. My work. Magda. Wanda. The people they love and who love them. And I cannot leave them nor can I ask them to leave everything they have worked so hard for behind."
"So you're making a choice, too."
"Yes. But that does not mean the heartbreak is any lesser."
"Well I understand that, for sure. But you'll live through it if you don't do anything stupid."
He rolls his eyes, "If? I appreciate your vote of confidence." Then he stops and laughs a little ruefully, "I suppose I haven't proven myself not prone to rash or ill-thought-out decisions, have I?"
"Not when it comes to people you love. You're good with business, but people? You need to learn to stop and think. Not that it's a bad thing to love that hard, but you don't want to make things worse on accident."
"How do you do it?"
"I don't. That's why he's gone and I'm a bachelor in a bookshop. And I haven't tried to find anybody since because I know I haven't learned. But that's no way to live your whole life. I'm old. I don't have much time left. That's why I want to travel after I'm done here- see the world while I have the chance. But you? You're a young man. You've got a lot of life ahead of you. Decades more than I have. So you need to figure out what I never did."
"If things were to change...if he came back tomorrow, what would you do?" Loki asks softly.
"I'd be the damn fool who dropped everything for him. It might not be the healthy response, but if we were going to pick up where we left off- absolutely. You're trying to figure out what to do if Alexi comes back, aren't you?"
"Yes."
"Don't use me as your reason to take him back. Think long and hard about it. You'll know."
"And in the meantime?"
"Get a cat."
And a few weeks later, when the world feels like spring and the snow is finally dripping down into rivers in the street, Loki has the opportunity. It is an in-between day. Everything feels in-between. In-between seasons. In-between genders. In-between different stages of his life. He slips into his tunic and soft trousers late in the morning and sips coffee on the balcony with a book in hand, enjoying the sun in spite of the chill. Later, he will meet Magda to start working on his garden, but for now, it is a lazy Sunday.
After lunch, someone knocks on his door. When he answers, he is greeted by a little girl with curly red hair and freckles. There is a cage beside her.
"How may I help you?"
"Hi, mister. I live over there." She points across the square. She cannot be more than eight, "My cat had babies. Lots of them. Mom says I can't keep them all. She's on that bench over there." She points to the ash. A woman waves, the girl waves back, and Loki waves, too, "So for five dollars- Mom says free kittens don't get nice homes- I'll give you whatever kitten you want. I've got black ones. I've got striped ones. I've got a tortie. And I've even got an orange one."
"Well as it happens, I have recently been advised by a dear friend that I need a cat in my life. Tell me, are your kittens easy to learn to care for?"
"Very. All they need is a litter pan and some food and water. Mom says we can give you some stuff if you don't have it."
"Well I assure you, that would be a most generous offer and I would greatly appreciate it. May I see your kittens?"
"Right here, mister. Finest kittens on the block."
He bends down to peer in the little cage as she extracts one of the black kittens, "My, they are quite fine. And you said you had six?"
"Yep. Six. Two black. Two grey tiger striped. A tortie. Orange."
"It seems a shame to break up the siblings. I have quite a large house to myself and they would have plenty of room to romp and play, even as they grow older. Would you mind terribly if I adopted all six of them?"
Her eyes grow wide and she turns to holler across the street, "Mom! He wants all six!"
Her mother joins her on the step, "Hi. Lorna Michaels. You've been talking to my daughter, Gwinnie. You're interested in the kittens?"
"Yes. I was telling your delightful daughter that a friend of mine has suggested that housepets would help me a great deal. Your kittens have come at quite a fortuitous time."
"Could we see where they'd be living?"
"Of course. Come in." He shows them into the house and walks them from room to room, all the way up to the library and down to the basement, "So you see, I have plenty of space. I make a decent wage at a bookshop. I do believe I could make a fine home for your kittens."
"What do you think, Gwinnie?"
"I think his house is awesome."
"Is that a yes?"
"Uh-huh."
"I'll bring over litter pans, litter, food, dishes...a kittens starter kit."
Loki pays for the kittens, insisting on doubling the price in gratitude for all the extra supplies. He brings them down to the ground floor while Lorna and Gwinnie go to get the supplies. The kittens tumble around on the large rag rug in front of the door, batting at the bugs that rest on the screen. When his neighbours return, he brings them downstairs and they set up litter boxes. As they say their goodbyes, and Gwinnie pets each kitten once again, the little girl realizes something.
She turns back at the door and gives him a long look, "You're the girl those boys beat up in the park, aren't you?"
Lorna blushes, "Gwinnie!"
"No, no, she's right. I am."
"But you're a boy now."
"That is also true."
"Oh. Are you just a girl sometimes?"
"Yes."
"Oh. OK. Have fun with the kittens. Bye now."
She skips down the stairs ahead of Lorna, "I'm sorry, she's so inquisitive..."
"It is no trouble at all. I don't mind. We are neighbours, after all, and she might as well know how she might see me so it is no surprise to her."
She nods and shakes his hand, "Well thank you for your understanding. And enjoy the kittens. If you need anything, ours is the yellow door over there." She points across the square in the direction Gwinnie is already half-dancing, half-walking.
When Loki returns to the house, he returns to the ground floor and pulls out his phone to consult the internet, "So...how, exactly do I take care of you fluffy little creatures?" They bat at his hand when he tries to pet them and this delights him. "I suppose I ought to name you." He first considers naming them after the people he has left behind in Asgard but thinks better of it. Then he gets a better idea. He picks up the little orange kitten and inspects under its tail, "Well, you might be a girl or boy, but you appear to like to seek out trouble- I suppose you won't mind if you're name is Anthony, will you?" Then he lifts the tortie, "And you are beautiful. Would you mind being Natasha?" He continues this way. The grey tiger that is a little larger is Bruce. The smaller one Steve. "Both men of fine principles, I assure you." And the black one with the white spot on its forehead is Vision while the all black kitten he names Clint, "One with the cover of darkness, and of great stealth indeed." It is only a few moments before he has to clean up the first kitten accident and he relishes the sound of his slight admonishment as he places the offending kitten in the litter pan, "Now now, Anthony, please do not pee in the corners."