Thanks a lot to StarsuperS, oncer4life11, SailingShips666, paupaupi, Nightingale53, Emilee Amethyst and Araya for the reviews! You guys have great ideas for the name (some I really, really like!), but I won't tell anything about it to keep the surprise! Hope you'll enjoy this chapter! :)

And then, a kind of odd routine settled down in our lives. Hook literally moved in my hospital room to stay by my side, his clothes and belongings piled up with mine in the little wardrobe standing in a corner of the room, and, every night, we were falling asleep tied into a tight embrace, both refusing to leave each other again. Liam was sleeping at my parents', to avoid making him stay longer than necessary in this bleak place that wasn't appropriate for a child at all, but he was spending the day with us. He still couldn't go into the incubators room, but he was watching the baby for hours, still, his eyes widened, completely fascinated. Henry and Neal were also coming to join us quite often and visit our baby girl. Henry was the only one who'd been able to come with us once and take his little sister in his arms, and he had gotten out of the room completely devastated, impressed by how tiny she was, scared to death something was going to happen to her. Whenever possible, Killian and I were going to hold her, give her a bit of comfort, spend a little time with her to convince ourselves she was going to make it and try to pass her a bit of our strength. She was in a steady state : Her health wasn't worsening, but she wasn't getting better either. I was feeling like we were living in slow motion, waiting for something that was never going to happen, and the time was stretching around us. Four days after finding a name for our daughter, I was finally able to walk by myself again, even if I was still quite weak and had to take plenty of breaks to avoid fainting in the middle of the corridors. During all this time, I hadn't cried once.

I still couldn't understand this absence of tears. Killian was sobbing so often, completely destabilized by the situation and so scared at the idea we could lose our baby. During those moments, I was always taking him against me and was holding him the tighter I could, whispering comforting words to his ear to try and help him. He was calming down after a couple of minutes, and was ending up apologizing for these outbursts. And I was always answering that he didn't have anything to be sorry for. As for me, everything in me was ravaged by a huge fear and an even bigger guilt that was taking all my strengths. I was feeling like what was happening to my girl was my entire fault, and I was blaming myself for everything that was going on in our lives. I was hating myself so much for that I sometimes wanted to bang my head against a wall to punish myself for what I had done to my daughter.

The day I was finally able to walk without risking anything, Killian and I went to the intensive baby care unit, hand in hand, walking very slowly so I wouldn't do too much all at once. We stayed for a very long time there, in silence, simply watching our little girl sleeping and breathing peacefully while she was still under respiratory assistance. Hook was standing behind me, both his arms wrapped around my waist, and I was leaning against his chest, my head resting against his shoulder. My thoughts had converged toward this terrible guilt again, and I suddenly felt the need to talk to Killian about it. I hadn't told him anything about it yet, but he would understand, he always did. I then started to talk in a very husky voice, and simply said :

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry about what?" Hook said in a surprised tone that made me frown.

I didn't get why he was asking me this question and pressed my lips together, confused. I hadn't thought about the possibility he wouldn't understand what I was trying to say to him, it was seeming so clear in my mind. I then took a few seconds before answering, a bit puzzled, and ended up saying :

"Well, I'm sorry about all of this. I've never apologized, and I wanted to do so. You deserve it. It's my fault if we're here after all, and I just wanted to make you understand how sorry I am."

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" He asked, sounding completely lost. "What is your fault?"

"Everything!" I got impatient, gesturing toward our sleeping daughter and thinking I was being crystal clear. "It's my fault, and I know it. If I'd managed to keep calm when Zelena took us hostage, we wouldn't have been here today. The baby would have been born on time, and she would have been happy and healthy. Hell, if I hadn't sped up Zelena's pregnancy in the first place, she would never have been after us. It's all because of me, I'm the only one to blame."

"Swan!" He cried out, sounding outraged.

I shook my head in confusion hearing the unusual tone he'd just used to talk to me, but didn't have the time to ask him what was making him so offended. He had pulled away from me and had gently forced me to turn and face him. I was now looking at him in the eyes as he'd left his hand and his hook placed on my shoulders. He was staring at me, looking deeply hurt, and I didn't understand his saddened expression right away. I opened my mouth to question him, but he started to talk before I could say anything :

"Emma, it's not your fault!"

"Of course it is!" I countered, a bit puzzled as I hadn't expected him to react that way. I'd really thought he would agree with me on this. "I'm the only one to blame, so I just wanted to apologize, because I hate myself for what I've done. You don't have to try and make me feel better, you know. I know I did everything wrong."

"Em'" He said again, looking at me as if I had just said the stupidest thing ever. "You have nothing to be sorry for." He added in a gentler voice, as his hand was running down my arm to grab my fingers in a tender gesture. "The only one to blame here is Zelena, not you. She's the reason why the baby is born too soon. It's not your fault, sweetheart."

And without adding anything, he wrapped his arms around me to bury his face into the crook of my neck, looking deeply hurt by my words. I didn't move, completely triggered by his statement. I needed a few seconds to realize he wasn't completely wrong. He was even absolutely, utterly right. It was all because of the witch. I didn't have anything to do with what was happening. I hadn't asked for anything, she was the one who'd come into our lives to make a mess out of it. It was because of her that my baby girl was between life and death right now. It was her, since the beginning, and, as if I was finally seeing clearly, I understood I had to make her regret what she'd done.

"I'm so sorry you've felt that way." Killian whispered, gently stroking my spine in a back and forth that didn't manage to calm me down.

"You're right." I then said in a voice lacking from all emotion, before pulling away from him to look at him in the eyes.

The corridor was spinning around me, and my limbs started to slightly shake without me being able to do anything to stop them. Everything that I was feeling for days, this fear, this sadness, this huge guilt, everything had suddenly transformed into pure rage. It was her fault, and she was going to regret it. I had to take revenge, for my baby girl. It was my part as her mom to do so. The witch was going to pay for her acts.

I was shaking more and more violently, my teeth unpleasantly clashing inside my mouth. Hook noticed my change of behavior, because he looked at me with a frown, his head titled on its side in worry, and asked :

"Swan, you all right?"

I didn't answer anything. The anger was crushing my guts and I was feeling like throwing up. I was a volcano about to start erupting. Nothing could stop me now. I had to avenge my daughter, I wanted to go and glue my fist into the witch's jaw to hurt her, to make her feel the pain she had afflicted to our family.

So that's exactly what I did.

I didn't even think about it, everything was darkened by this huge rage that was flowing through my veins, the world had lost its colors to display a range of black and white that was making me dizzy. I violently freed myself from Killian's embrace and started to run. I didn't pay attention to his confused scream as he was calling me back, nor to my parents, who looked at me with pure confusion as I was running past them, while they were settled on a bench of the waiting room with my sons. Everything that was mattering for now was to hurt Zelena. Making her suffer, to get rid of all this pain that was devouring me from the inside. She was deserving it, after all.

I remembered hearing she was at the station, locked in a cell and deprived from her magic. Regina was with her, for what I'd understood, but I didn't even think about the fact my friend could try and stop me from achieving my mission. I then rushed toward where I was usually working, I ran faster than I'd probably ever done in my entire life, ignoring the pain that was radiating in my still fragile limbs every time my feet were pounding against the ground, and the sting of the freezing air entering my burning lungs. I wanted to hurt her, and I didn't pay attention to the cries my Dad and Killian were throwing in my back, as they'd launched behind me and were trying to reach me, not understanding what was happening to me. I accelerated my race again. They couldn't catch me before I'd done what I wanted. They would try to stop me, and I couldn't let that happen. I needed to hurt the witch, or I was feeling like my anger would kill me.

I felt a drop of sweat running down my temple. I was getting close, and despite my body that was about to give up on me, my head that was spinning so hard it was a miracle I was still on my feet and the pain that was pounding inside my skull, I couldn't stop now. She had to pay. She had to. And maybe, finally, I would get rid of this pain that was raging inside of me.

I ended up arriving at the station, after what seemed like an eternity to me. I ran past Regina at a breakneck speed, as my friend was getting out of the building, heading for her car. I guessed in my mind blurred by the rage and the exhaustion that she was certainly about to go to the hospital to see us, and she then opened wide eyes when she saw me in the parking lot.

"Swan? What are you...?"

"Regina, stop her!" My dad screamed from behind my back, what made me think that if he surely didn't know what I had in mind, he was guessing that I was about to do something really bad.

Too late. My friend didn't react fast enough, and I entered the station. I kept on running and only stopped when I arrived into the room where I was usually doing my work as a sheriff. Nothing had really changed since the last time I'd come here, as if my world hadn't fallen apart in the meantime, as if everything was fine and this story had only been a horrible nightmare. The only alteration was the witch. Zelena was there, locked in one of the cell, sitting on her bunk. She was wrapped in a blanket and looked up at me with wide eyes when she heard me coming in. She opened her mouth to ask me something, but I didn't give her the time to say anything.

In a rage, I headed for the cell and opened it up with a flick of my wrist, using my magic. The witch got up, looking terrified by the aura of rage I was releasing but, oddly enough, this sight didn't give me the comfort I was looking fort. Telling myself that it was surely because I needed to go further in my plan, I approached her with a few threatening steps and, looking deep into her eyes to read the horror shinning in it, I punched her in the face.

I had put all the strength I still had in me in the strike, using my anger and my sadness to draw into my last resources. The pain radiated to my elbow, but I decided to ignore it, focusing on the witch in front of me. Completely stunned, she lost her balance and collapsed on the wall behind her back. Without waiting for her to react, I ran toward her and sank my nails deep into the skin of her neck, impeding her trachea. She let go of a muffled cry of pain, and I heard in my back :

"Emma, no!"

Regina was behind me, but didn't dare to intervene, perhaps because she was scared of hurting me in the process if she was using her powers. I heard the front door of the station slamming in the distance, and understood that my dad and Killian had just entered the building as well. Aware that I didn't have a lot of time left as they would probably try to stop me, I strengthened my grip on the witch's throat. I didn't know what I was looking for, I didn't even know if I wanted to kill her, it wasn't my plan at first. But she had hurt my daughter, so she had to suffer as well. It was only fair.

Zelena suddenly kicked, using her last bit of strength, and we both fell down on the ground. I didn't let go of her, and gathered my energy to sit on her legs and force her to stay still as I was still strangling her. Her eyes were completely widened, and her lips were taking an odd blue color as panicked tremblings were taking control over her limbs.

"It's your fault!" I barked, in such a rage I didn't even realize she was about to pass out under my grip. "It's all because of you, you fucking witch!"

I didn't have the time to keep on yelling and felt strong arms grabbing me from behind as someone was firmly lifting me up so I was letting go of Zelena. I struggled the best I could, trying to escape and resume what I had started. I couldn't stop now, she hadn't suffered enough yet. I had to avenge my daughter, the witch was deserving to get hurt after what she'd done.

"Emma, that's enough!" My dad said as he was trying to control me and get me away from Zelena, who was slowly catching her breath, still laying on the floor of her cell.

His sentence acted as a trigger on me, for a reason I couldn't understand. I suddenly wasn't mad at all anymore. All these tears I should have shed since the beginning of this terrible story appeared in my eyes all at once, and I choked on a violent sob that was quickly forming inside my throat. My baby girl was maybe going to die, all of this because of this damn witch, all of this because it seemed like I could never be happy for real.

I had stopped moving, entirely devoured by this huge sadness. Thinking I had finally calmed down, my dad let me go to put me back on the floor, but my legs gave up on me. I had made too many efforts given my still fragile state, and I was feeling like my entire body was liquefying. My knees hit the ground with an unpleasant noise. On the floor, without paying attention to the pain in my legs, I took my head in my hands and a husky sob shook my shoulders as all my emotions were getting out of control.

Almost instantly, I felt arms strongly wrapping around me and pulling me into a tight embrace. I recognized Killian's smell of sea and leather before even seeing him. He gently ran his hand up and down my spine without trying to say anything. He was getting that these tears he was shedding for days were suddenly appearing for me, as if I'd just realized how bad the situation really was. My sobs were so strong I was almost choking on them. I didn't have any strength left in my body, and Hook's arms were the only things stopping me from falling over completely.

I was aching, horribly, physically. My chest was feeling so twisted I couldn't breathe anymore. Hook kissed my temple, trying to comfort me so I wouldn't drown in my own tears. All these hours I had spent trying to make him feel better, he was giving them back right now. He was rocking me against his chest, and I could hear his heart racing through his shirt. After a very long time, probably because I didn't have any tears left to cry, I ended up settling down, grabbing the back of his jacket as if he was a lifesaver in the middle of a storm, the only thing still holding me and preventing me from crumbling completely.

"It's okay." He whispered to my ear when I had stopped sobbing, as a little whimper of distress was escaping my parted lips. "Everything is going to be just fine. I'm right here with you. I love you, we'll get through this."

After a few more minutes spent at hugging me so tight, he pulled away from me and gently stroked my face to wipe off my tears. I was feeling empty, completely empty. I wasn't feeling anything anymore. I had cried too much, if only it was possible. No more rage, no more wish to get my revenge, only this huge black hole opening inside my chest. Killian approached his face from mine and pressed a tender kiss on my forehead, then on my cheek, to end up his path by placing a little and very gentle peck on my lips. He interlaced his fingers with mine and said in a very soft voice :

"Come on, love. We're going home."

By home, he was obviously meaning the hospital. We were living there, now. And we were going to continue our lives right there until our baby girl was completely healed.

I tried to get back up, but my legs couldn't support my weight anymore, and Killian caught me right before I hit the floor. I had used all my strengths to run to the station, and my anger had seemed to feed from my energy to leave me powerless now that it was gone. Killian didn't say anything and took me into his arms, lifting me up from the ground with an arm on my back and the other under my legs. I didn't even look back to see how Zelena was doing and buried my face into Killian's neck, hoping to escape from this lack of emotion that was absolutely horrifying. Hook carried me to one of the sheriff car, and my dad settled behind the wheel to drive us both back to the hospital. I laid down on the backseat, my head on Killian's lap as he was gently running his hand through my hair, whispering to me that everything was going to be just fine.

They didn't say one thing about what had just happened, and no one talked about these events ever again.

And the time passed. Oddly enough, I felt like freed after my outburst, after all this anger and these tears. I was now able to cry, and it was making me feel so much better to let go of my emotions. Hook wasn't the only one sobbing at night anymore, and we were comforting each other, always wrapped into a tight embrace that was warming our broken hearts up a little bit.

They told me I was able to leave the hospital ten days after my daughter's birth, but I wouldn't go anywhere. I wanted to stay close to my baby girl. She needed us. I wasn't going to give up on her. Seeing that we didn't want to go, Whale booked us a room in an empty corridor of the hospital. My mom even brought some of Liam's toys so he could play a little bit and not stay the entire day in this heavy atmosphere of terror.

I was barely sleeping and was losing weight so fast it was almost scary. All my energy was used to think about my daughter, who was still in an incubator. They'd ended up taking the respirator away from her, and if it was a good sign, she was still in danger, I knew it. Hook was in the same state of fear, and if my parents hadn't brought us meals every day, we would probably have let ourselves starve to death. Most of the time, Henry and Liam were staying with us. Henry was trying to comfort us while Liam was staying snuggled against one of us, searching for comfort as he was so saddened by the situation as well. I was feeling like our lives had stopped since the baby's birth. And I was hoping they would finally get normal again soon, because I was going crazy.

My favorite moments were without a doubt the evenings. They were the only thing able to make me smile a little bit. Liam had finally been allowed to approach his little sister when she had been able to breathe by herself, and he had been so moved by this meeting. Since then, every night, we were meeting inside the little room where the incubators were, my sons, Killian and I. One of us was taking the baby and the other was holding Liam, while Henry was settling in front of us on a stool. There, in an almost formal tone, he was telling us the tale of one of the stories in his Once Upon a Time book until the two kids had fallen asleep. We wouldn't have missed these moments for anything in the world. It was a little tradition that was giving us the impression we were a normal family, and it was making me feel so much better.

Our little family had been so touched by the last events. We had been broken, we had fallen so deep, and we now needed to get back up. The time had stopped, and it would only resume its course again when the baby would be out of the hospital.

So we were all impatiently waiting for our lives to finally continue their paths, because it would also mean the baby was safe.

See you monday to know the baby's name! :)