Will was sitting on the couch, his laptop on the coffee table but he could hardly type. Johnny was doing his best to make Sydney shriek and didn't listen to lectures about it. Allie was walking in and out, a worried look on her face. Will was trying to get her to open up to him but he had to deal with the over-excited kids too. It was his mother's turn to be on a date with the stunning Rafe and sometimes Will was wishing she would hire a babysitter.

So he shouted. Both kids froze and looked at him fearfully. He felt bad but they were pushing it. He never raised his voice, unlike Sami, preferring to bring back peace and quiet through his own example. It worked at times but he was well aware it was a defense mechanism. Sonny shouted sometimes and yet people still loved him, even his employees. Nevertheless, it was filling him with bitterness. He directed Syd and Johnny to their respective rooms with firm instructions of reading books or playing with their own toys and not bother the other one, then he called Allie.

She was looking terrified, even though he hadn't yelled at her. Will took her to the couch and brought a hot chocolate. He waited while working on his essay and finally she opened up.

"Are there other families like ours?

- What do you mean honey?" His tone was gentle, careful not to frighten his little birdie of a sister.

- I mean... At school, most kids' parents are divorced...

- I guess, so yes. It happens a lot.

- Yes, but Mom and Dad aren't divorced. And we don't live with Syd and Johnny's father either." Will looked at her thoughtfully. What was she really talking about? He tried to remember being a child who had a different home than others... He ventured:

- Are other girls making fun of you?" Allie blushed and hung her head low. Will's heart was on the verge of breaking.

- No, but they say things... Like Mom always changes boyfriends and their mothers say..."

Will took his little sister's hand in his and squeezed it. So some mothers were using Sami's situation as a learning tool for their daughters. It was sickening and yet a small part of Will got their point. They had no idea what had happened each time and Sami had made bad choices. Dating was a hard path. Would he want Allie to go through all of this? Should she be presented with her mother's mistakes, so that she would learn from them? Will wasn't sure it would be a good idea. Plus Allie was more like him, so she would more likely share his flawed path. Would there be a 'Sonny' somewhere down her road?

He cuddled her and let her talk first, put everything out in the open, cry a little. She tended to keep a lot to herself and he didn't like that. Then he whispered:

"Do you love Mom?

- Yes.

- Isn't she a good mother, would you want another one?" She shook her head decisively. Will smiled. "Then let them talk. It's difficult being an adult but what's important is being a good parent. If you're managing that, you've made all the difference."

Allie thought this over and frowned. Will waited again. She whispered in a broken voice

"Dad isn't... He wasn't a good dad to you. You said..."

For once, Will chose honesty. She deserved it.

- No, he wasn't. He didn't know how to. He was too young, younger than me...

- But you are great. You always know what to say to us.

- Well... I have all of you to help me. Dad had a different life. He's being a good parent to you, though, so in my book, he's forgiven." Allie hold him tight and murmured

- I love you, Will.

- Love you Allie."

He took all of them in Syd's bedroom for a bedtime story. His younger siblings were acting adorable, maybe to make sure he wasn't still mad at them. Will really wasn't but he was tired. He thought about Sonny's offer and wondered how it would feel not to live at home anymore. Of course, he was aware it came with new responsibilities and other kind of worries. Or he could live on his own? But he'd have to take a part-time job and his studies would suffer. It was in this time that he was angry at Sami. She could have a live-in companion that would help with the kids and share the housework.

He went to bed but couldn't sleep. The lonely deep hoot was keeping him company. Which was the problem with living alone. He liked the quiet but he needed to feel needed and useful too. On his own, he would probably forget to cook or clean. How did Sonny do it? How did he went through the evening when he didn't work and Will wasn't there?

'Hey! You're still up?'

'Yep. What's up?'

'Was wondering what you were doing?'

Sonny didn't reply, instead he called. His deep warm voice was soothing Will's fear already.

"You're not in front of the building again, are you?

- No. Mom is still out on her date. I was just curious. Don't you get bored sometimes?" He heard a soft laugh.

- I just spent an hour on my paperwork. It's dreary but it passes the time. I'll go out, afterward, though." Will felt like he was hit in the gut. His voice was trembling and he couldn't help it

- Yeah... Like where?

- A nightclub with a few friends. I might sleep at their place too." Will's heartbeat was deafening him. He didn't answer at first, trying not to cry. He had never thought of Sonny going out without him. It made sense of course. Will could still picture EJ coming home, looking a little drunk and with a big smile. It had seemed inconspicuous and yet it was the start of his affair. After she had thrown him out a few months later, Sami had spent her time lamenting about being blind and not seeing the signs. She had burdened Will with it as she often did and now he was incapable of giving the benefit of the doubt.

Sonny picked up on the silence and asked:

- You're okay, with this, right? You know I love you and I'm always faithful.

- I... I know you are, Sonny. It's just..." Will didn't want to burden Sonny. He wanted desperately to behave like an adult.

- You told me you never dated before... Where is this coming from?" Sonny sounded a little angry, but also concerned. Will was fighting a lost war. He had to open up. Like Allie.

- I trust you Sonny. It's just... My stepdad cheated on my mom and I witnessed it. It was messy. I don't know how to..."

- Will!..." There was a click. Will stared at his cell in disbelief. Had Sonny hung up on him? Or had the conversation be cut, maybe by bad reception?

He waited for Sonny to call again. His heart was a wreck. It was horrible not to understand and not to be able to stop scenarios popping up in his head. Once again, he was clueless, not knowing what he should have done. Moving in with Sonny? Try and go to the nightclubs with him, even though he was still not comfortable with the idea? Or accept that Sonny could find someone better and just appreciate whatever time left they had together? This last one hurt like hell.

He didn't fall asleep. He heard the door close and walked downstairs. Sami was drinking a glass of rum with coco in the kitchen. She looked bummed. Will sat next to her and took the bottle. She put her hand on his arm before he could fill his glass.

"What is going on, Will? You don't drink." Will sighed.

- Well, it seems to help you when things go wrong. I could give it a try." Sami looked at him and frowned. She took both glasses and emptied hers in the sink.

- How about some coffee? I won't be able to sleep and you don't look like you could either."

She prepared the coffee maker and sat back. She took his hand and said

- You want to talk about it?

- No.

- Okay. I'm sorry to be such a downer when you need me but Rafe said...

- Don't!" Will pulled his hand to him in a harsh gesture. The tears were filling his eyes. Sami looked hurt but Will couldn't take it anymore.

- You're my mother, Sami. Not my best friend. If you tell me all about your love life, it makes me afraid and useless in mine. I feel older than you sometimes and I have barely started dating."

Sami got up without a word and walked upstairs. Will was cold now, lost in an ocean of depressing thoughts.

There was an annoying noise coming from outside. It was getting louder and the night bird had turned silent. Will walked to the front door, wiping his eyes. Sonny was standing there, looking sad.

They kissed with desperation. Sonny's hand was following the path of Will's tears on his face, while he was whispering between kisses:

"I'm sorry I got angry and hung up, Will. I didn't... I... She was very possessive... Crystal was... It felt like that for a second. I'm such an ass..."

Will couldn't talk. He felt trapped in a stony dungeon, with no key available. Guilt, doubts, fears, were circling in his head like dark vultures in a silent oppressive flight. Love was too complicated. It wasn't worth it. He should stop and go back to his old life.

Sonny must have felt the shift. He took a step back and said

"I'll sleep on the couch. I promise, I'll just listen, I won't judge. I can't lose you Will. We can work our way through this, please..." Will started crying again.

He told Sonny about EJ. Of his charm and possessive manners. Of how he was flawed and yet loving. Of how Will missed him, the only person he had seen as a father. How betrayed he had been too.

"I know you're better than that, Sonny but... There are people who will try and won't care you're with me. And you're gorgeous and kind-hearted. What if you meet someone better for you? I should let you be happy. I don't want to turn into a Crystal ever.

- You won't... I'm sorry. I need a little bit of freedom but I should have asked. Sometimes I forget you're not in my head. I would do anything for you. I can't bear you doubting me. It makes me feel like you kicked me out of your heart and it hurts and it makes me mad."

Will took a deep breath. The sobbing was almost completely gone but he was still unwell. Sonny twirled one of Will's lock with his finger and added

"Anyway, Chad told me I'd better not mess up with you. He likes you a lot and he says you and Mel are both precious and fragile. He said if I leave you, he'll come and kick my ass." Will smiled shyly.

- So you'll stay with me out of fear?

- No. I'll stay with you because you're worth it. I have never been so happy than since I met you, I swear. I've faced temptation a lot. The gay scene is not very prudish. And yes, I've done casual in the past. But I was also with a guy for a few months and I know that I would never had cheated on him. We broke up because our feelings weren't very strong and I wanted to come back to the States. But I don't want to break up with you. Tell me I have a chance, please."

Will felt exhausted. He got up and took Sonny's hand, leading him upstairs. Sonny followed, looking sheepish. Will pushed his bed against the wall and motioned to Sonny. They lay, cuddled up in each other, on the verge of falling but it was a restful night.