Chapter 15-

The sun is starting its decent from high in the sky when I leave Haymitch's house. The rays of light hint for a beautiful sunset, one quite rare for so late in the year. Bare tree branches sway against a small breeze as some geese fly through the cold winter air.

I run home so I can start dinner early, planning on using the rabbit I caught earlier as the main course. I have a lot of food in my cupboards thanks to Sae and I figure I should start to make some use of it.

I throw my bow and arrows into the closet near the door as I put my muddy boots on the doormat. My hands are freezing from the cold and I blow warm air through them as I walk into the kitchen.

The rabbit is easy to clean since I skinned it in the woods. I wash the pelt off and hang it outside the back door to dry before returning to cutting the meat into chunks. As I cut the vegetables for the stew, my thoughts return to Peeta.

Haymitch's words ring in my ears. Here's some advice then. Stay alive. Funny. I wasn't messing around when I told Haymitch that I couldn't live without Peeta. I hate admitting it, but its true. He's a part of my life I can't imagine not being there. I can't think of any moment where I would rather not have him by my side.

Its true. Relationships scare me more than anything. People get torn from my life. People die. It really shouldn't be too surprising to me, but its hurt more if you tried to protect them. The guilt is the hardest part to swallow. It stays with you.

But I wonder what it would be like for me now. There's nothing to protect anyone from. Nothing will hurt Peeta. Even Haymitch, who I grudgingly admit has a spot in my heart somewhere.

But its the spot that Peeta has that keeps me worried.

Yes, he can take care of himself. But tragedies happen. What would I do without him? You would most definitely lose it.

There's no question about it. I've given up on everything else. Protecting. My own life. There was nothing left for me in District 12. But now that Peeta is here, he's giving me something to fight for. And I know that if I don't, then I'll be back to where I started- with nothing.

Panic comes back and I find myself setting the stew on an extremely low heat before jamming myself into my boots and dashing over out the door. I need to set things right.

Peeta opens the door slowly, not expecting to have company, but when he sees me, he immediately welcomes me into his house, afraid I'll catch a cold. As he closes the door, I turn around, not bothering to settle myself in his living room.

And I don't know what to say. Again.

"I-"

He shakes his head and starts first. "Katniss, I'm sorry about... about earlier." He's blushing red and refuses to make eye-contact with me. "It was uncalled for and I understand if you're mad at me."
My jaw is slack and he's probably taking my silence as the way I'm expressing my irritation at the kiss. "I... I shot a rabbit today."

Wow, real nice, Katniss.

"That's great," he says, uncomfortable at my change of topics. He's shuffling his feet and trying hard to look happy for me. But its in his eyes. Disappointment. For not getting an answer?

"Are you still coming over for dinner?" I say.

He nods quickly. He's upset. You did it again, you idiot.

"I'm not mad," I say quickly. His eyes flick up to my face for a moment just before I cast mine down at the floor. "I'm just... confused."

Peeta swallows. "Yeah, I know."

We stand there for a while, neither of us moving. I wish I knew what he was thinking right now. Maybe he thinks I'm an idiot. That would make two of us.

Its almost as if the words form themselves and throw themselves off my tongue. "But maybe..." I take a moment to clear my throat when my voice catches. "Maybe we can try being friends?"

I sneak a glance up and see Peeta's blue eyes watching me. "Friends?"

I nod, dreading his response. What if he doesn't want to be friends anymore? What if he thinks we're not good for each other? What if he-

"Okay."

The relief is an immense weight lifted from my shoulders. It's a good start, I think. Being friends. There's an odd fluttering feeling in my stomach, one that seems to emit a warm glow that spreads to my face and causes the corner of my lips to twitch. A smile?

"So... dinner at 9?" Peeta looks like he's trying to mask his glee. I almost laugh, its so comical to see his cheeks struggle to hide an enormous grin.

But at that moment, I decide to do something different. Friends is a good start for two broken people. It is the only good I've had in a long time. And I want to remember it.

Instead of confirming, I walk to his door and grasp the doorknob. As I hold the door open, I turn and see Peeta watching me anxiously. He thinks I'm going to leave again. I realize this with a pang.

But this time, I can't do that. I won't do that.

"Come on, Peeta. I've got something to show you."