Life in Hell, Reaching for Heaven

He honestly had no desire whatsoever to contact Thor about the list he received from Jane. He rather despised having to go to him at all with anything.

But he wrote him, and expected a prompt reply.

Loki walked the letter to the post the morning of the 16th. It had only been yesterday that Jane gave him the list, but eager to see his task through, he wrote to Thor. Best see to it quickly and get it over with.

He was worried about her. He was also worried that she might decide that they shouldn't work so closely. Or that they should only work with Selvig…or…

He was deep in thought while walking. They hadn't really used their names much…Clara and Tom. Perhaps they could revisit that and really heighten those identities. The names had been reduced to a bit of a joke between them.

He entered the office to find the police everywhere. "What's going on?" he asked, suddenly fearful that another murder had taken place, and at the post no less.

"Who are you?" asked a tallish officer.

"A merchant in the Market," Loki answered with a raised chin to assert his height over the officer.

"And your mercantile, I'm certain, needs you there, guvna," the officer said with a steady look.

"Now see here…" Loki began.

"Loki!" called a familiar voice.

"Selvig, good. What is going on here?" Loki turned toward him, after rolling his eyes with a steady sigh at the offending officer.

Erik took his arm and led him out of the post. "Nasty business, Loki. Very worrisome," his eyes darted around.

"What happened?"

"Well, our friend Lusk…."

Loki held a finger up. "Not my friend Lusk."

"You might change your mind after this…" Selvig cleared his throat and lowered his voice. "Well…he was sent a package. Inside the package was an organ…"

"What." Loki demanded. "What did you say?"

"An organ. It was sent to the surgeon for examination."

"Good god," Loki ran his hand through his hair. "But…it could be an animal organ…"

"That's certainly possible. A very bad joke," Selvig nodded.

"Just so. A fake, like this absurd 'Ripper' name."

"There was a note accompanying it…"

"A note?"

"Here," and Selvig led him back to the post, out through the back door. The entire area had been closed off. The two made their way to Lusk's office the back way, free of the bustle of the main thoroughfare…which was swarming with officers and a crowd. Selvig led Loki right through, and to the back where no one was. On Lusk's desk was a stain of blood and wine, and wrapped in brown paper was the box and the note. Carefully Selvig took the note out and handed it to Loki.

He read it. "From hell," he said. "The man lives in hell."

Selvig shrugged.

"That is significant," and he reread it. "It tells us something about him."

"You think that this is genuine?"

"Well, if it turns out that the organ is human…then I do, actually. I think that this is our man."

"Why would he decide to contact Lusk?"

"Because he isn't trying to be caught. Because he knows who is searching for him. Because there are fraudulent letters being submitted to news agencies for publicity. Because this man is suffering…in hell…and some crack is attempting to minimize his own suffering by labeling him some 'ripper'."

"His suffering, Loki?" and Selvig gave him a glare. "That is rather not the point."

"To him it is! He's in hell, detective…I suppose he could mean literally, in that his house or flat is in an especially hot place," he paused. "But…no…I think that his suffering is acute. Perhaps he is very poor…"

"That doesn't mesh with the witness reports, even your own."

"No," Loki's brow furrowed. "No…but there are several possible explanations for that. Perhaps no one saw the actual killer…he could have stealthily murdered them all, lingering in shadow. He also could have nicked the clothes from a shop. You should see if any mercantile in the market has recently reported a robbery. Try Miss Lind's…hers is the most frequented. If that isn't the case, then the former is likely."

He was looking at Loki slyly. "You are a smart one, Mr Odinson. You should be a detective."

Loki laughed. "Well, if it isn't a human organ, then this is all for naught. But I thank'ee, your compliment is generous."

He smiled at him. "Will ya be headin' for the apothecary, now?"

Loki looked at Selvig crookedly. "I hadn't planned on it."

"No?" and his smile broadened as he walked away.

Good god he needed to check himself. Was he truly that obvious?

Jane had spent the morning at the Times attempting to discover what she could about the names she had tasked for herself.

She didn't enjoy much luck, so she supposed that Plan B was in order. Plan B was infinitely more tedious and tiresome than her Plan A.

She would need to visit the universities her four scientists had visited.

Perhaps she could piggy-back on Loki and have him write to Thor about her assignment as well.

Of course, that was cheating. And Jane wasn't a cheat.

Well, not usually, anyway.

Jane walked toward the Market deep in thought, not really listening to the chatter of voices speaking in hushed, frightened tones about the letter…the organ…

"Twas a kidney, I 'eard…"

"'ow awful…"

"An' be sure to get ye 'ome as soon as ye can, mind."

"To t'ink of it! A kidney, in de post!"

She caught the ends of these conversations, not really registering…not really hearing what they were saying…

Jane opened the door to her shop and slumped down. She thought that it would likely be quite busy that afternoon, seeing as how she had been closed all morning.

She gathered herself, put the kettle on, and began seeing to opening up.

There was no mad rush, however. No great push to obtain medicine that she imagined there'd be.

Curious, that.

Jane prepared some salts which were ordinarily purchased, she swept the floor.

At around two in the afternoon, having had but one lone customer all day, she went to the front door and peered down the street.

Hardly a soul was to be seen.

Panic overtook her…had there been another murder? Had she simply not heard? And where was Loki? Thinking on it, it was odd that he hadn't been to call all day. She shook…had he been injured, hurt, taken…?

Taken where? By whom?

Jane attempted to steady herself. She was letting her fancy get the better of her. He was likely just busy…

…but Asgard was never busy.

That was it. She ran to the back, grabbed her shawl and hat…closed the shop. What a waste. Nary enough made to purchase a single potato. She would have been better staying at home, seeing to her father.

Something was surely amiss. The Market was never so deserted in the middle of the afternoon!

Jane picked up her pace and entered the bookshop in a breath.

There was Fandral.

He looked up at her, a bit confusedly, no doubt because he was unaccustomed to anyone entering the shop in a rush. No one was that eager to purchase books.

"Jane! Is everything all right?"

She caught her breath and nodded…looking around.

And then she noticed movement in the back, and she craned her neck to see.

Loki emerged from the back room. "Jane?"

"Good lord, Loki! What I've been thinking!" she went to him in a rush, but stopped just short of embracing him.

"What have you been thinking?"

"I…" she swallowed. "That is…" now she laughed. It sounded so silly…"I was worried because no one was about, and I wasn't certain where you were, and…" her voice trailed. She turned and went to the counter. "I see you are well, though."

"I am," he put his hands behind his back and glanced purposefully at Fandral. "Have you not heard?"

"Heard?"

"I," he looked at her, then away. "Well, I had thought, when you were not open this morning, that you had decided to keep the shop closed today, considering."

"Considering what, exactly?" and now she was upset. He was being infuriating.

"Jane, what do you say we fetch an ale at the pub just there," he nodded toward the corner of the market. The Ten Bells was situated on the corner of the Market. It was, for all intents and purposes, a nice enough place.

"An ale? But it's only just after two…" she protested.

"Better now than after the laborers are done and the place swells to the brim," he grabbed his jacket and cap from the back.

Fandral smiled at Jane and shrugged. She returned his smile. "He seems oddly in a good enough mood. Was there another murder?" she ended in a hush.

"No, Miss Foster, thank the Lord. Though it is curious that you'd think he's in a fine mood if there was a murder."

"Whom are you speaking of?" Loki re-entered.

Jane's gaze snapped to him. She smiled widely and went over to him, smoothing out his jacket to distract him. "Are you certain this isn't improper, Loki? Drinking in the middle of the afternoon!" she quipped.

"It's fine, Jane," he nodded, unsettled by her attention. "Fandral, would you mind?"

"Not at all, boss," he called as the pair left for the pub. "Poor Jane Foster."

Loki was fairly silent as they walked across the square, which was simply infuriating for Jane.

"Do you plan on telling me what this is about, or shall I guess?"

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "I think that your guessing might prove to be an interesting, fun diversion."

"Fun!" she hissed.

"And what's wrong with a bit of fun, Jane Foster? Not much to be had these days."

"And why do you suppose that is, hm?" he opened the door for her and she entered, finding them a table by the window. After he sat across from her, she continued on. "It couldn't be…oh I don't know. Women are being quite literally butchered in the streets. Fun isn't exactly something I am thinking about."

"Perhaps you ought to," and Loki raised a finger toward the keep.

"What it be, then?" asked said keep.

"Two ales, if you please," replied Loki, and off he went to fetch the drinks. He raised his eyebrows in question to Jane, then hunched his shoulders expectantly toward her. "You know, in order to guess, you'll need to speak. Though I am well versed in many things, mind reading is not, unfortunately, among them."

"For someone espousing to know yourself, Loki…you really have missed your calling in life. You ought to perform on stage. Your humor knows no limit," their drinks came and she sipped.

"I gathered no guess in your speech," he returned, sipping his own ale.

She rolled her eyes. "All right. Let me see…You discovered something already about your assigned scientists."

"Now, why would the Market be deserted for that reason? You aren't using that lovely head of yours, Jane," he looked at her steadily.

She blushed, and her eyes fell under his stare. "No. No I suppose not…there hasn't been a murder…"

"No…"

She furrowed her brow in thought…and a conversation she overheard on the way back to the apothecary came to mind. "Another letter?"

He lifted his forefinger. "Ah, very good."

She smiled. She waited…another eye roll. "Loki, would you please just tell me?!"

He laughed, and downed his drink. "Have some more, Jane."

"I don't want…"

But he stood and went to obtain something stronger, more potent.

Whiskey.

Loki took two ales, two whiskeys, and dropped the whiskey into the ale, carried them over to their table. He thought that more uninhibited they were, the better Jane might digest this unsettling information.

"Drink this quickly," he said, handing it to her and sitting back down.

"Quickly…?" she looked at it, then at him.

He was guzzling the drink, his Adam's Apple bobbing with the effort. Jane swallowed. And she mimicked his action.

Loki watched her, and was mildly amused by the display. Jane was no drinker, and it showed in her feeble attempt to down the drink.

She finished, then looked at him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her.

"Odd."

"Good, now…"

She started to giggle. "Odd is a funny word."

Oh my. He might have given her a bit too much…"Jane. Can you think clearly?"

"What?" she hiccuped.

Good god she was far gone. And after two drinks…"Listen, Jane. There was another letter, just as you had surmised."

"…I like receiving letters…"

"Yes," he decided to sit next to her to gain her attention. And he went to the other side of the table, and took her hands in his.

"Your hands are so….big," she breathed as he held hers.

"Family trait," he muttered. "Now, Selvig showed me this letter, Jane, and I have reason to believe that it is from the actual…"

"You're handsome," she smiled. "I always thought so…but now, in the light and everything and drinks and killings…you look nicely."

He dropped her hands. He couldn't decide if he was more irritated at himself for giving her too much alcohol when he knew she never drank much, or if he was completely overcome from her admission to finding him handsome.

It was likely a draw.

He rubbed his face. "Jane. Listen," and he turned toward her once more. She was hazy-eyed and smiling.

"I'm listening," and she hiccuped. "I'm sorry, Loki, for ever having liked Thor. I know that you don't really like him. He's too blonde…"

"Jane…"

"…and I'm sorry that I've been so dismissive of you in the past. But you really are irritating…"

"Jane."

"…but you must know that I know that I'm irritating, too. And that I don't know what I'd do without you now. You are my best friend," she choked.

He swallowed, and looked at her steadily. He never had a best friend before… "Oh, Jane. You are my best friend, as well."

She laughed.

Then she started to cry, and her face fell onto his shoulder. She began to sob.

And Loki rolled his eyes and patted her back, "Hush now, Jane. Everything is all right."

"No it's not!" her voice was muffled in his chest. "It's not because women are dying and father is ill and you are handsome and poor Mary and all those letters and how am I going to discover those scientists and all I want to do is kiss you again!"

He froze.

She froze…she realized what she had just said…and she slowly began to disentangle herself from him…never meeting his gaze.

And just then, a man came into the pub, and then a pair of men right behind.

Jane sat stoic and still, as the pair who had immediately followed the man were talking loudly.

"An' I 'eard dat der wuz an'organ…"

"Kidney wuz what I 'eard…"

"Jus' awful it'is…'fraid ta go in der streets, I tell ye."

"An' did ye 'ear 'bout Mary?"

The single man, dressed darkly, moved closer, and it happened that he was now closer to Jane and Loki…though he wasn't facing them.

"Na. Whadya 'ear now? She is summat, dat Mary."

"I done 'eared dat she swore not ta take no more John's. Same wit mos' of dem girls."

There was a pause. "Is dat 'er?"

"Where?"

"Der…wit dat genteel-lookin' bloke…"

And it was then that Loki realized that they meant Jane. She must have felt it, too, for her felt her stiffen despite the space between them.

Jane didn't want to be thought of as Mary…though she wasn't even certain that it was Mary Kelly they were referring to. Should she hide her face or should she leave?

Her mind was racing, despite the drink…

…but the drink emboldened her…she wouldn't run.

She turned quickly to Loki, who had been staring at her out if the corner of his eye. She grabbed him, and she kissed him.

…and all else faded from the world…her hands went up his chest, and the kiss deepened a touch…she ran her fingers up to his hair, while he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer, along with her chair.

He couldn't seem to get her close enough…he longed to stand and bring her with him, press her against the wall…but he kept her there, and satisfied himself with the fact that his right hand was wandering up toward her breast, and that he could almost feel its swell…his thumb graced the base of it, and she shuddered.

Over and over the kiss lazed on, long past an appropriate diversion…his left hand dropped to nearly her bottom, while his right rubbed her abdomen, longing to move upward, but not daring to…he couldn't decipher if this was part of the act or not…

Jane pulled away first, her breathing was labored, she was aroused utterly, her pupils blown in desire. She swallowed. "Are they gone?" she asked, looking at his mouth, a bit swollen from the kiss.

He nodded, unable to speak.

And they were.

He moved away further, but his eyes never left Jane's face. He was trying desperately to read her reaction to what had just transpired between the two of them.

Jane leaned back in her seat. "They thought that I was Mary."

Loki went to take a drink from his mug, but it was empty. "What sort of establishment is this? My mug is empty!" he said loudly in the direction of the keep. Loki shifted a bit, his arousal plain enough as the keep came over to him.

"Da type of establishment, guvna, where folk don't eat one another's faces off," and he took the mugs and went to refill them.

Loki followed him with his eyes, a slight glare to boot. "I'll rethink returning here…"

"Loki?"

He then looked at Jane, a confused look on her face. "Jane," and he stood and went to the opposite side of the table where he originally sat. He cleared his throat. The drinks came, and Loki sipped long…Jane simply stared at hers.

"What just happened?"

"Well, t'was all a bit of a blur…" he sipped again. "But I think, one of the men here thought that you were someone named Mary, and then…I'm supposing that this was an effort to deflect attention…you kissed me."

"I kissed you," she repeated.

"Just so."

Jane gulped. "Well…" she didn't mention her speech leading up to her indiscretion.

Nor did Loki.

"Well…" Jane began once more. "Erm…you were going to tell me something?"

"Ah, yes. Yes…" he drank the rest. "Have another sip, Jane."

She did.

"A letter was sent to Lusk this day," he related in low tones. "It came addressed 'From Hell,' and it was accompanied by an organ," he swallowed, looking steadily at her. "A human kidney," Selvig had confirmed it to be human a few hours previous.

Jane's eyes were wide. She downed her ale. And then she felt ill.

"Jane. I think…I believe that this is from the man."

"Why?" she whispered.

"Because…he sounds desperate. And this man…he is desperate…" Loki stated this with a hint of expertise in desperation.

….the place was hot, very.

He hadn't cleaned nor opened a window in months…perhaps years…

Though he had been there but months…

…it felt like years.

He sat at all hours, hating, listening, waiting, hoping…

Though he knew that no hope was to be had.

None.

And he waited for November to arrive….