Disclaimer: The Hetalia characters and their personifications belong to Hidekaz Himaruya. 日丸屋 秀和
What Not to do if You are a Knight by Gilbert Beilschmidt:
53.) Acting like a murderous assassin for five years makes you a "poor role model" ...apparently.
Though I am Gone, I will Always be with You
Gilbert stared for a moment in utter shock, a sickening feeling rising from the pit of his stomach. He looked up at the child of barely 15 years who now towered over him, sword in hand.
"Lud- kid! What the hell are you doing here? You're supposed to be-"
"You traitor!" the younger boy yelled furiously, moving closer.
"West, please," Gilbert re-sheathed his sword and discretely took a step back, "I can expl-"
"Disgrace!" the young blond took another swing with his sword, choosing to deafen his ears against his elder brother's excuses.
"Hey! Watch the hair!"
"You want to know what I'm doing here?" the fuming boy continued, "I want to know what the hell you are doing here! I mean, I knew you were planning to defect, but as shameless and low as that may have been, I was still willing to forgive. I was willing - at least I wanted - to believe that there was a matter of greater importance that called you away; something that, for whatever reason, you didn't believe I could handle." Ludwig prodded his enormous horse forward as he spoke, forcing Gilbert to continue to back away and effectively separating the two of them from the battle by a greater and greater distance. "But I rose above my disappointment and frustration because I trusted you, brother. Because somehow, by my own clouded judgement, I didn't truly believe you were abandoning us. ...But this... to come here and find you fighting for the enemy? What is the point, brother?!"
"You... you knew about our plan?" the older sibling looked guiltily into the eyes of the younger.
"Of course I did!" Ludwig snapped. "First of all, neither you, Antonio, or Francis understand the term 'discrete', and secondly, we sleep in the same tent! How could I not hear your disgraceful scheming... planning that ransom and abandoning your own faction, your own family?"
Gilbert straightened and even Ludwig could not have denied the insistence of his voice:
"I was coming back for you, West! And that band of pillagers is not our family. That's not knighthood-"
"SILENCE! YOU LIE! I DIDN'T TURN YOU IN BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY BROTHER!" Ludwig cut off his opponent mid-sentence, rage clouding all rational thought. "But to turn on the Order... how could you betray us like this?!"
Gilbert did not answer the question outright. "Dammit West, put down the sword!"
"No! I'm tired of you treating me like a child!" He paused suddenly and gave a short, humorless laugh. "I volunteered as a rider because I thought... 'Wouldn't Gilbert be proud? I'm finally proving myself.'" Just then, Ludwig's expression darkened. " ...And I enter the battle to find you LEADING these heretics! Just tell me why! I deserve an explanation!"
Gilbert ground his teeth in silent frustration. Seriously, of all the times he'd complained about his stick-in-the mud little brother, where was the regular compliant and dutiful Ludwig when he needed him?! At the same time, however, Gilbert acknowledged that this war-crazed, stubborn side of Ludwig was probably his own influence at work...
"WHY?!" Ludwig persisted. His cerulean eyes burrowed into Gilbert's own blood-red irises. The youthful face revealed desperation, irateness, fury... confusion, and the pain of one who'd been betrayed.
Gilbert released a tired sigh. "Ludwig, you're my kleiner Bruder. My own blood. You come before any faction or Order. You know that." Speaking more gently, and somehow maintaining that firm, big-brother-esque tone, he continued, "Come down from the horse, West. Come down and let's talk. I promise I'll explain everything to you."
Ludwig's face softened, if only slightly. He looked down upon his brother's outstretched hand, wanting to trust it. Something held him back.
"You were going to leave me."
Gilbert shook his head. "You can pick and choose your allegiances, kid, but not your family. So whether it's a day, a week, a month, or ten years, I'll always come back to you, West. You got that?"
The battle continued to rage not 50 paces away from them. They could still hear the distant shouts and clamor of weapons. Gilbert knew it probably wasn't the best idea to be standing there, separated though they were. A chilling wind sent waves across the grass beneath them.
Ludwig's face looked painfully unsure as he stared at his brother. "I still don't understand. Why are you fighting against us? I thought your plan was to escape. What could have possibly made you turn like that?"
Gilbert gave his brother a sympathetic half-smile. His eyes implored Ludwig to take his offered hand. "It's actually more of a who than a what," he shrugged.
The boy's eyes grew large. "Someone convinced you to fight against the Teutonic Knights? Who?!"
"Come with me and I'll introduce you to her."
Mistake.
Immediately Ludwig recoiled. Gilbert's heart froze when he saw his brother's expression. He didn't know exactly what he'd said, but he could see Ludwig's mind working and his eyebrows furrowing.
"Her?" Ludwig spat with narrowed eyes. "You betrayed your brotherhood because of a woman?"
Gilbert slapped his hand to his forehead. "No! It's not like that! I didn't find her until after I decided to bail on these Teutonic losers."
Ludwig's eyes flamed once more.
"What!? Do you hear yourself? How dare you insult us, you lech!"
"Hey!" Gilbert retorted indignantly, but he found himself at a loss for further words. How could he honestly explain this tangled up misunderstanding to the teen? How, especially now, in the midst of a battle when his brother was too overwhelmed with emotions to listen properly?
Things were once again spiraling downhill fast as Gilbert scrambled for an explanation. At last, his shoulders slumped and he resigned himself to the only answer he could think to give, although he knew it was not the one his hurting brother wanted to hear, particularly since he had just insisted he was no longer a child. "Ugh! Dammit, West! You don't know- You're too young to understand these things!" He straightened a bit and puffed out his chest. "Now listen: I am your big brother and you will do as I say! Get. Off. The horse!"
Ludwig's face twisted with contempt and rage at his brother. "NO!" he spat. "You think I'm a dimwitted child! But I am more perceptive than you think, brother! I am more capable than you know!" His eyes became a shade darker and his young voice dropped in tone ominously. He glanced at his sword and then at Gilbert. "...Could a child defeat an experienced ex-knight singlehandedly?"
Again, Ludwig lifted the weapon over his head and tugged at his horse's reins. It reared and whinnied before its massive front hooves landed hard in the dirt just before Gilbert's feet.
"Aw shit," Gilbert muttered, contemplating the years he had taken his brother's normally obedient attitude for granted. He also quickly concluded why most knights quit training their pages at the age of 14... no one wanted to deal with moody teenagers apparently...
Ludwig swung down the sword ruthlessly, forcing Gilbert to dive out of the way.
The older brother knew he was at no advantage on the ground against the horseman. He looked quickly over his shoulder and spotted what he was searching for. Down further in the valley, away from the raging battle, was a small patch of trees and underbrush.
He ran for it.
Up above, Elizaveta set the tiny bird on her shoulder and frantically scanned the battlefield.
Her eyes landed on Gilbert just in time to see him fall from his horse. A relatively short figure on horseback then approached Gilbert. The rider had a bow and arrow slung across his back and a silvery blade pointed directly at the albino's throat. She did not wait to see what the blond adversary would do next.
"Gilbert!" she shrieked.
Elizaveta turned and ran towards the stairs, only to have two hands seize her by the shoulders. Francis stood behind her, holding her back.
"No, Lizzie! You cannot leave the-"
She raised her knee forcefully into his crotch and bolted through the doorway down the castle steps. The words "Sorry, Francis!" echoed up after her.
She sprinted down the flight of steps, taking two at a time, ran to the stables, grabbed the last horse not in use, and rode as fast as she could urge the beast to move. Directly into the battlefield.
Ludwig drew his bow once more and fired an arrow. The projectile managed to slice across his brother's leg as he ran, tripping him before he reached the cover of the trees.
However, Gilbert, stumbling the last several paces, managed to dive into the underbrush just before his younger brother could reach him.
Ludwig snarled. Then, having no other choice, dismounted from his horse to pursue Gilbert.
He followed his brother through the mess of thorns and saplings.
After pressing through the thicket of scratchy underbrush, Gilbert reached a small clearing. He turned to face the younger warrior, clutching his bleeding leg and holding up a hand for Ludwig to halt.
"Ludwig. Stop!" Gilbert panted. "God... you little psychopath!"
Ludwig responded by socking his big brother in the face with his fist.
"OW!" Gilbert cried, smearing blood across his cheek as he wiped his nose and mouth. "FUCK ME that hurt! Alright, alright, I give! I surrender, okay?" he insisted exasperatedly. "God dam- I KNOW you're furious, West, but what are you gonna do? Kill me? Your own brother?"
Ludwig drew his sword. He stared up at Gilbert for several heartbeats and the latter thought he might have actually been considering the option of fratricide before Ludwig answered. "Of course not. You may be a disgrace but you're still my brother. I would not kill you." He paused. "However, turning in a traitorous snake like you would make me a noble soldier-"
"No, it wouldn't! Please, West, I need you to stop acting like a brain-washed cult member for five minutes and hear me out."
"Don't disgrace the Order like that! We are nobler than some cult! You're the brainwashed one!" Ludwig took a menacing step forward. "And I am prepared to defend the honor of both the Teutonic Knights and myself if you speak one more word against us."
"They're pussies."
Gilbert continued to meet his sibling's challenging glare with an unimpressed expression. He pulled out his own sword and dropped it to the leafy ground. "And I'm not gonna fight you, kid."
At this point, the rage and frustration began to bubble over inside of Ludwig. He didn't understand! He didn't understand why Gilbert had left or for whom, but how could he just stab his own family in the back like that?! The boy felt such an overwhelming sensation of betrayal and outrage and confusion and affrontedness. Gilbert, Ludwig's role model, his idol, and his only brother, was nothing but a weak, sinful traitor. The reality was too much for the boy to bear.
He unleashed a embittered, savage yell and tried to strike Gilbert with the blunt end of his sword. He wanted Gilbert to fight back, wanted him to explain or react or do something.
Gilbert dodged to the side and evaded the assault. He began to reconsider abandoning his sword a few moments earlier. Sure, he could handle his younger brother when it came to hand-to-hand combat, but this fight was beginning to feel a little one-sided seeing as Ludwig was armed to the teeth with a collection of deadly weapons while Gilbert now had nothing.
One of Ludwig's forceful swings struck Gilbert directly in the stomach, sending him breathless and bloody against the trunk of a tree.
"Who could possibly cause you to sink so low?" The younger demanded. He shook Gilbert in desperate fury. Gilbert only stared at him, waiting for the child's temper to cool. This only made Ludwig angrier. "TELL ME!"
Gilbert coughed, still trying to recover from when the air had been forced out of his lungs against the tree. His vision blurred and he could barely make out the figure, his own brother who was brainwashed and blinded by rage, raising a blade with one hand, holding Gilbert's shirt collar with the other.
Of course Gilbert felt empathetic toward his brother. Of course he could see the hurt and confusion in his eyes. Still he did not know how to explain his situation to the unreasonable boy.
Fighting back would solve nothing. Therefore, painful as it was (literally), Gilbert judged it was best just to let Ludwig's anger fizzle out.
So Gilbert sat there, pinned against the mossy tree trunk, face smeared slightly with blood.
He looked into his attacker's face and saw only the bright-eyed, eager child from a time long ago when life was still simple.
A sad, reminiscent smile crept onto his face.
Ludwig clenched his fist tighter around Gilbert's collar. "What are you smiling at? Is this amusing to you?!"
"This," Gilbert coughed, "is why I left." Ludwig's puzzled expression encouraged Gilbert to continue. "Look at you, Ludwig... Look how strong you've become over the years."
"Don't try to change the subject, traitor!"
"I... betrayed... them," Gilbert persisted, speaking slowly and emphasizing every word in the hopes that his brother would hear him out. "But not you, West... never you."
Ludwig only blinked at his brother as he listened. "I know you're not a child anymore," Gilbert went on, "I taught you how to fight (a little too well, apparently) and I know you can take care of yourself.
But I didn't abandon you. I had to leave, Ludwig, but if I failed in my escape I couldn't live with myself if you were caught and tortured with us. That's why I couldn't bring you. I knew you would be okay on your own for a while... because I know you're a survivor. I don't expect you to understand, and it's not because you're young... but this was my chance to start a better life for us.
I should never have left you in the dark like that, though. I should have told you... I'm- I'm sorry..." he choked out with watery eyes.
For a moment, the blond-haired child's eyes reflected genuine surprise. He still held the older knight against the tree and his sword lingered threateningly in the air. Ludwig seemed to be contemplating whether or not to believe his brother's monologue or if it was some ploy to deceive him.
After a moment his face softened. He was about to speak when- FSSSK!
An arrow sliced across Ludwig's raised hand, forcing him to drop the sword. Crying out, he clutched his bleeding palm and turned furiously to see who dared intrude on this affair. He was met only with an unforgiving kick to the stomach that sent him reeling backwards. Clutching his gut due to the impact of the unexpected blow, Ludwig crumpled to the ground in a pile of leaves.
When he managed to look up, he was shocked to behold his attacker. There, standing above him, was a young woman with blazing green eyes, dressed in the apparel of a soldier. She had long, curling, chestnut hair.
She panted heavily over him for a moment before immediately turning to Gilbert, who was still slumped against the tree, partly covered in blood, a gaping arrow wound clearly visible on the right side of his thigh.
She knelt before him and put her hands to his face. "Gilbert! Are you okay?"
"Liz, it's West," his voice was strained.
"What?"
"IT'S LUDWIG!"
She turned to see the adolescent rising shakily to his feet. Crystal blue eyes shifted bewildered from her to the man lying against the tree.
"So this is her? You gave up everything you believed in, killed your own brethren, for a harlot!"
"Excuse y-!" But Elizaveta stopped herself. She instantly recognized who she was addressing. "L-Ludwig? Ludwig! Ludwig, it's me! Don't you remember?"
"Quiet, wretch! I have never seen you before in my life! Now stand down if you value your life. Your scandalous tricks won't work on me as they have on my weak-minded brother."
At this point, Elizaveta was beginning to grow more confused than Ludwig must have been. She had no idea what was going on, but she could sense the waves of hatred and anger emanating off the young belligerent. She needed to calm him down, needed to prove she was not his enemy. "I know you were very young, Ludwig, but you knew me... once. I'm Eli. I swear to you, I'm your ally here, not your enemy."
Ludwig was lost. "The knight who- ...no! He was a boy! He eloped with Lady Héderváry!"
"I am Lady Héderváry," Elizaveta persisted, "and the infamous knight who eloped with... myself? Listen, I know this is a lot to comprehend, bu-"
"Filthy deceiver!" Quicker than lightning, the younger German suddenly had Elizaveta by the hair, ripping her away from Gilbert. "Whore! You hypnotized my brother and tricked him into betrayal with your stories and your siren song!"
Elizaveta shrieked and twisted, struggling to free herself as Ludwig wrestled her arms behind her back.
Gilbert pushed himself up against the tree, holding up a desperate hand. "Hey, hey, hey, HEY! Ludwig, let her-"
He froze, throat constricting. Elizaveta, stopped struggling when she felt the cold blade press threateningly against her throat. Ludwig held the dagger firmly in place.
"Do not move, brother, or I will kill her now," Ludwig proclaimed with the utmost seriousness.
A tense silence suddenly fell over the clearing. No one breathed. Leaves rustled gently, a songbird chirped somewhere in the branches above them, and a quiet, ambient roll of thunder sounded in the distance. The three of them stood there, tense, unblinking, unmoving, unsure.
Gilbert dared not reach for his sword on the ground, for he was unsure what his brother might do. He opted to remain motionless, still grasping onto the tree trunk for support, trying to think of a way out of this sticky situation.
Ludwig's eyes were locked onto his brother. He contemplated whether using this woman as a hostage would be enough to force Gilbert to follow him back to camp as a captive.
The situation could have been a dire one, that is, if Elizaveta was a compliant hostage... but as she had learned in the past week or so, that role did suit her very well.
Ever the expert on timing, she caught Ludwig by surprise, jabbing an elbow into his ribs forcefully. He doubled over in pain, releasing the dagger in the process. Elizaveta spun free, only to have a vengeful hand latch onto her wrist.
She tried once more to twist away, yelling out, hitting his arm with her fist.
Ludwig matched her in strength, pulling her back, and they descended into a bitter fray. During their tussle, the dagger lie forgotten and out of reach.
In moments, the skilled teen successfully had her pinned to the ground. With an almost crazed look, he pressed his hands to her throat and began to choke her.
She felt, once again, the life being squeezed out of her, when suddenly, CLANG! The boy fell unconscious to the earth.
Elizaveta sat up and panted heavily, clutching her throat.
Gilbert stood over his younger sibling. "Aww, he kills women just like I do."
"Is that a... skillet?" she asked breathlessly pointing to Gilbert's side.
"Yyyup!" he answered, flipping it once. "Saw you guys kick some ass with it and I've been carrying one on my hilt ever since."
She looked at him disbelievingly. She had never heard a more ridiculous statement in her life. But, for whatever reason, it made her smile. She shook her head and grabbed his hand as he helped her to her feet.
A groan from below signaled that Ludwig was beginning to come to.
Elizaveta and Gilbert looked down upon the boy. "Are we going to bring him back with us?" she asked.
For a long moment, Gilbert said nothing. He did not meet Elizaveta's gaze and remained watching his little brother. A pained expression etched itself onto his face.
"He... doesn't want to come back with us."
Elizaveta gave him an inquisitive look.
Gilbert continued slowly, a sad, defeated undertone present in his voice. "He's so devoted the Order... he's not going to give up his ideology just like that... he- he belongs with them for now."
There was a moment of silence as they looked pityingly over the lost boy.
"I made him this way. I just didn't see it until now."
Elizaveta placed a gentle hand on Gilbert's shoulder. "Gilbert... Ludwig is very young. He's still trying to figure out his place. He's still trying to prove his manhood. He's more than likely to change. ...And if you say you've had that much influence on him, then I know there's one message drilled into his mind: that you two are brothers. He knows you love him, Gilbert, and he loves you just the same."
Gilbert remained silent, thinking for a moment before nodding his head slowly. He took a breath.
"I... have to go, West," Gilbert mumbled solemnly to his brother, "but I'm not abandoning you. I'll come back, no matter how long it takes."
After a moment of thought, Elizaveta quickly ran to the horses and undid their reins.