The Flickering Flames

If I couldn't bear gazing at Salazar for long periods of time before, now it is nigh on impossible to even glance at him at dinner. Rowena embarrassed me further by asking if I was well or whether the fire was banked too highly.
"Nay Rowena, I am well. The fire is fine and I would not wish to discomfort you…"
"It is fine, Helga." Godric flicks his wand at the fire and the flames die a little, Salazar lights some more candles for us to see better. He pours a glass of water and hands it to me.
"I think it is not illness, the wine is rich this evening and I believe Helga has drunk it a little too quickly." Salazar smirks and casts me a hidden look, his eyes dark. I busy myself with the water goblet and drink deeply; I nearly let out a small squeak when I feel Salazar's hand softly glide up my leg; burning heat courses through my veins. I surreptitiously pry away his hand, but he captures it in his, the thumb gently circling over my knuckles. I bite my lower lip and drink my water again. I glare at him, but he blithely ignores my angry glance and continues conversing with Godric on the best way to seek council and agreement with the Centaurs.

"Rowena I think you may be right, I do confess to feel a little ill. I think I will depart to bed." I say, standing up and successfully pulling my hand away from Salazar's grasp.
"Oh very well, my dear. I hope you feel better by the morning." she said, gently embracing me.
"Do you wish for me to accompany you?" Godric asked, already rising from his seat.
"No Godric, I will cope well enough. My room is not so far from here. I bid you all goodnight."
"Call upon us if you feel worse." Godric says.
I laugh softly, "It is only a little tiredness and sickness, I will be well by morning, I assure you. Salazar is probably right; the wine made matters no better."

I note with a little pride Salazar looks frustrated and offended by my lie, but his presence was making me feel too dizzy to comprehend anything within this room. I give a swift curtsey and leave for my room, sighing with relief when I do so. I can feel my head grow clearer and my breathing become deeper, unlike the shallow breaths I took when I saw his look upon me. I may not have known a man, but tavern work has taught me the looks of all men and women and his was one I'd seen upon many men. It was a look of nothing but pure, unadulterated desire, the heat from his eyes so strong I was surprised Rowena and Godric did not even notice it.

I poured the stream of water into a bowl and sunk the cloth into the cold water, gleaming in soft moonlight and the silver of the bowl. I was so tired from feeling heated and his strange lust frightened me. I let rivulets of water run down my neck and face, cooling my skin and with the windows open sending cold shivers running over my body. I had pulled the windows open as soon as I had entered my room and the cold air, smelling of the pine trees and heather, blew through, sending ripples through the curtains and making my nightgown whip around my feet. As I pressed a towel to my face and neck, the wind blew too strongly and my candle went out. I let out a little cry of surprise, but then shook myself and lit it once more. As I picked it up and turned, I jumped when I saw Salazar smiling at me. I had not heard him enter the room. He shook his head and tutted, then began to close my windows.

"You will get ill if you wash while cold wind pours through your chambers." he pulled the drapes firmly over my windows, till there was only my candle for light. Salazar flicked his wand at the fireplace and the log burst into flames.
"You did not knock." I finally said.
He neared me, lip curling up and he gave a chuckle.
"Is that what most worries you, Madame Peasant? That I forgot my manners."
He took the candle from my grasp and placed it upon the table by my bed. With great care and precision he deftly touched my collarbone and I felt those well-known shivers run through me again.

"Salazar…" I whispered, it had meant to sounds sterner and my attempt to push him away from me, however frail; but instead my voice sounded husky and thick, as though I desired him…Nay, not 'as though' for I knew I did. His eyes flickered up to mine and he did not break his gaze as his finger slowly drew a line down my neck towards the soft lacing of my gown. I felt my breath hitch when his finger strayed between my breasts. Salazar's eyes were drawn to my chest and his hand lingered there. I cleared my throat and his eyes instantly went back to mine, in that look I could feel my legs shaking and I knew if I didn't grab hold of something, either him or the bed, there was a good chance I would embarrass myself and collapse.

"Salazar…" I tried again, shame catching hold of my tongue and stopping my speech. Those eyes looked as though they could reach the very soul of me, my very existence, revealing every truth and every lie of my being. It was both frightening and exhilarating. He very quickly pushed an arm round my waist and I could feel myself sag in his grip, my legs entirely useless. I could have screamed in frustration at my stupidity and uselessness.
"Will you give yourself to me?" he murmured, his lips so close to my cheek I could feel his warm breath against my skin.
Desire welled in my belly, I could scarcely speak.
"Well?" he said.
"I can't…" I finally managed.
"Why?" he asked, no cajoling or gentleness within his voice.
"I am…I have not…"
He leaned back a little, a smug smile upon his lips, "You have not lain with a man before?"
I mutely shook my head and he laughed, the cold sound filling my chambers, before his eyes turned back towards me and hungrily took in every curve and part of my body.
"Then I will be your best and your first."

It was almost too rough, but he pulled me against him and pushed his lips on mine. His mouth hot and heavy, barely giving me chance to breathe as he nipped and suckled on my mouth. I could feel my mind almost begin to drift as every inch of my skin longed for him, desired his touch all over my heat. I wanted his coolness to quench my thirst; the warmth was making me dizzy. His kiss was demanding and as soon as I had opened my lips just a little he seized his chance and pushed his tongue into my mouth. It almost shocked me and first and my eyes shot open at the intrusion, but it was nice in a way and I grew to like his tongue flickering over my own. I could feel my arms wrap around his shoulders and his free hand grip the back of my head, a handful of hair within his grasp, his other arm still holding tightly to my waist. I no longer even cared when I moaned wantonly into his mouth, I felt his shudder of longing and he pushed me back to the bed. My legs gave way as soon as my knees hit the end of the bed and he swiftly followed me, near pulling me up the bedspread, till my head lay on the pillow and Salazar hovered over me, I longingly reached up towards his chest. He pressed himself into my hips and I could feel underneath his breeches his body responding to his own desires. His fingers once more traced the line of my collar, the curve of my breasts, my breath shallow and rapid as his touch drew nearer towards my nipples. Ever teasingly he drew his hand away, that satisfied smirk back on his lips. He lowered his head towards my chest.

"I've thought about this ever since we met…ever since I saw that wench with her honey hair tied up in a loose knot, roses in her cheeks…I thought of making your eyes gleam with longing for me."

I was only half listening to him, as he roamed my chest, his teeth gently scraping and then biting my flesh, little red marks and purple bruises smattering my collarbones. I felt his tongue flick out and play with the silk ties of my gown. His eyes were so concentrated and busy, I pulled up my hand and ran it through his hair; thick, dark locks snaring between my fingers. He lifted himself up a little and grasped my hand in his, his mouth at once sucking and kissing my palm. I saw his dark smile as he stopped his kissing and reached down to caress my mouth, his hand tracing around my lips. I closed my eyes in bliss, feeling his hand draw my mouth open. I look up to him again with surprise, his fingers pushing into my mouth, urging me to suck on them. He gives a soft groan when I do, his other hand tightly squeezes my breast and my hips buck up into him. Oh I want him; I want him within my legs, his hands pressing against my flesh, moulding me to his ways. A cry that almost sounds angry escapes him and I feel my blood freeze a little when he withdraws his wand, but he places it on the laces of my nightgown and at once little sparks of fire burn away the thin nightdress, leaving no mark on my skin or hurting me in anyway. His eyes are greedy and desperate, once more taking in my naked form. Salazar pushes away the wand and I hear it clatter on the floor, I am honoured by his willingness with me, he is defenceless now.

His hands curve around my breasts, full and heavy in his hands. He smiles.
"I've thought about these, lying with you and holding these creamy, white breasts. But my thoughts are nothing compared to their real beauty."
"I have been told my figure is too full, too womanly to be desired." I want to hear him defend my body, praise its worth; but he makes not a word and places his mouth on my neck, he bites the flesh hard till I let out a torn moan, half of pleasure and pain. He raises his head again.
"Do not seek flattery from me, Helga. You are better than that. You are not, by any means, Rowena. Slim and lithe, elegant…your lips are only red when I bite them. I would be a fool not to believe Rowena is beautiful. But she is too cold for my tastes…"
"Too cold? I would have thought that suited you perfectly." I said, I do not know where the strength to speak had come from, but I felt strangely emboldened by his obvious desire for me.
"As would I…yet instead, what I desire is you!" Salazar seems half surprised at his own choosing, "You with your earthy, simple ways. You chose a badger, for heaven's sake, as your emblem!"

I glare at him and my anger is heady and mixed, passion and desire and hatred...I pull him down next to me and swiftly bite his neck. His hands jolt away from my body in shock and I feel an intense pleasure in knowing I can shock and overwhelm him as much as he can to me. But he soon seizes my waist and pushes me tightly against him. I do not let him have the pleasure of seeing my surprise of being so near his engorged penis. I run my hands through his hair and hold him down on the pillows, while I bit and nip at his mouth, before grazing his Adam's apple with my teeth. I unfasten the ties of his tunic, pushing the fabric away and almost ripping the fine shirt underneath, I splay my fingers on the warm skin, gently toying with the curls on his chest. He pulls away the tunic and undershirt, the smell of him: parchment, ink, musk, man. His leg tackles mine and rolls me onto my back again; he grips my arms and holds me against the bed. I try to struggle under his grip, but he will not relent.

Salazar chuckles softly, "When did you become so wanton?"
I glare at him again, "It is well known badgers are omnivores and they can easily kill snakes."
His smile broadens, "Can they indeed?" but he silences my answer with another kiss. He pulls his weight off me and carefully runs a hand down my body towards my legs; his hand drifts over my belly, towards the hair between my legs. I clamp them together tightly and he gives a laugh, softly kissing me by my throat, no more biting.

"Open your legs." he murmurs. I feel my cheeks heating up again as his fingers stroke down my thighs and then back up to my hips. Salazar raises himself to look at me, before placing a firm kiss on my mouth.
"I won't do anything yet, I just want to feel how ready you are."
"How do you know I'm ready?" I say and he laughs again, but it is infinitely gentler than his usual mocking sneer.
"I don't. Open your legs and we will know."
I gaze up at him, wanting to know if he speaks the truth, but when he remains looking intently at me I finally open my legs and his hand dips between the folds of flesh.

"Oh God…" I mutter, as his hand is covered in my wetness and he strokes o so slowly up and down the warm flesh. I ball my hands into fists and try to remain still on the bed, fighting the urge to moan as his clever fingers gently rub against my nub, sometimes quickening their pace, sometimes drawing down so slowly I want to scream. He suddenly stops and I open my eyes.
"Why did you stop?" I ask, he gives a lazy shrug. I glare at him again.
"This…" here he slowly draws one finger down my wet folds and I press my lips tightly together, "Does not seem to be causing you much pleasure; I thought it best to stop."
I bite my tongue and he languidly strokes up my leg, brushing my hip, my waist, once more drawing circles around my breasts.
"It did…" I mutter, glancing away from his eyes. He rolls on top of me again, but lifts his hip up a little and taking my hand makes me grasp the hardness in his breeches. He pushes against it and lowers his mouth near my ear, running his tongue over the sensitive rim.
"I want to hear you. I want to hear you panting and moaning, begging me to fuck you. I want my name on your lips. I want to claim you." He gets up and for a moment of sheer panic I think he is leaving, but he unties the laces on his breeches and shoves them over his hips.

His skin is pale, but the hair by his crotch is dark. I barely know if I should look at it or ignore it entirely, I cast away my eyes and hear him climb back on the bed.
"It is only another body part, Helga." he says, as he lies tantalisingly close by my side.
"It is a very intimate body part." I whisper, trying to keep my eyes away from his. He chuckles and takes my hand once more; I clench it into a fist, but he presses it flat with his own hand and then I feel his…
"What is it like?" he asks.
"Embarrassing." I cry and he gives such a broad laugh it would not be unmistakable on Godric.
"Nay, I mean what does it feel like?"

I cautiously move my hand over the smooth head, down the shaft into the thick, curled hair.
"Soft and firm." I sneak a little look down and it does not seem so frightening now. I look back up to his willing smile. His hand rests firmly on mine and he draws my hand up to the tip again and then back down. He repeats the motion a few times.
"That feels so good," he hisses into my ear, "Maybe you were right, muggle work has roughened your hands." He thrusts more firmly into my hand, before withdrawing. I blush.

"Now then, let me see what I may do for you." His fingers dip within my folds and I cannot help the moan pulled from my lips. He rubs along my wetness, becoming quicker and firmer. I give up. I groan and feel my body spiralling towards the culmination of desire; he presses his mouth against mine and kisses me. I am half aware of him positioning his body above mine and the tip of the penis pressing against my flesh. Then before I can reach the peak of my desire he pushes into me, the sharp sting forcing my eyes open and I let out a muffled cry as his hips slam into mine. I feel tears well up in the corners of my eyes. I wonder if this is right and whether I should have let this happen, he seems so intent on his own pleasure. I am a forgotten body beneath. But he looks up to me, his breathing heavy.

"Open your legs wider, it will hurt less." he says gruffly. I do so, still feeling plundered and vulnerable; he takes in my expression and then gently kisses me.
"I know it hurts, but it will not do so for long. And when we next make love it will be infinitely more pleasurable than this time."
I manage a chuckle, "Who says there will be a next time?"
His smile returns and my heart sings with delight on seeing it, no bitterness or hatred or mockery, just a pure and simple smile.
"You were too wanton this time, not to want another time." He lies closer to me and I wince at the slight pain from his deeper position. But he wraps his arms tightly around me and presses kisses on my cheeks and lips. He gives another thrust.
"Next time I will bring you pleasure. You feel so good to me right now, so hot and tight and wet…how could I not return the favour?"
He begins a steady rhythm and even now it begins to feel better. He urges me to raise my hips and he groans furiously into my hair, breathing in my scent.

"Oh forgive me, I cannot help this…" he cries out, and I wonder what he means, when he suddenly pushes furiously into me, the growing pleasure I felt now being mixed with pain. He thrusts several times more and then his body shudders as he releases inside me. He falls back to me, his face and body damp with sweat, his chest rising and falling, his eyes closed. I gently push back the dark hair clinging to his forehead and kiss his cheek. Salazar smiles contentedly and opens his eyes. He kisses me fully on the mouth.

"That was perfect. I had dreams of you for months on end and nothing could compare to this." Salazar lifts himself up and then fetches the basin of water. I am still surprised by his tenderness when he washes around my thighs and the delicate crotch.
"Oh, blood…" It shocks me a little to see the dark red stains on the cloth.
"Only a little, Helga, and you will not bleed again."
He washes himself and then puts the bowl back. I feel a dull ache in my heart when he puts on his undershirt.
"You are going?" I say, not hiding the look of disappointment on my face. He gives that teasing smile.
"Nay, your room is still cold from the windows being open and though I am warm, I have no desire to catch a chill." Salazar pulls the cover away from the bed and climbs in; he wraps his arm around my waist, so I am cocooned in his warm embrace, his chest behind me. He pulls the cover up to my shoulder and softly kisses me. Although I gained little pleasure in the act, I feel strangely fulfilled and complete. I stroke his arm and Salazar kisses my forehead, I hear his sigh of contentment as he lies back on the pillows.

I do not fear him now, now he has revealed his true nature to me. I would not say I trust him entirely, but in truth I realise he masks his fears through his arrogance and I can learn to live with that. I am not as weak as some make out, his malicious teasing or quick remarks have never driven me to tears, but they do frustrate me at times. But I think I understand him a little better now. Not fully, but a little. He has shown me he can be kind, thoughtful, even loving. Yet I do not expect him to treat me any differently in the morn, but that does not matter. I fall asleep.

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