I do not own Gakuen Alice

Mikan's POV

Run Mikan, Run before he gets you underneath his claws again. That was all I could think about at that moment. I was running on a deserted road with abandoned buildings at the side, it was dark but the streetlights seemed to give me some form of hope. The air was humid even though the wind was cold. I felt a sudden tribulation sent to my brain, my feet felt like they were bleeding.
I don't know what I'm running from but I don't want to find out. The road seemed to go on forever until I had to stop, I had to breathe. I stagger to the side and gain support from a pole. The sweat dripped from the loss strands of hair to the ground.
I looked around cautiously; the only thing that could be heard was my breathing and pounding heart. I tried to collect my thoughts, what was I running from? Then I remembered why…

"I'm coming back."

I bolted up and instantly held my hand against my mouth to stop the cry from being released. I felt the hot steaming tears fall from my eyes.

I felt my screams vibrate against my palm; after the screams were done I calmed down a bit. I looked around my room searching all the dark corners like he was there, watching me as I slept but I knew he wasn't. I knew it was just my paranoid mind playing tricks on my again.

I breathed out heavily; I run my hand through my hair and close my eyes. If I don't close my eyes, the tears threaten to fall and I wont be able to hold back.

"Why… why are you back?" a tear leaked its way out from my shut eyes.
"What do you want from me? You took everything… what more do you fucking want!" I was never the one to cry and break down but this didn't break me. No it didn't break me so why do I mourn? Why do I let this take the best of me? Why can't I be free from this demise?

I opened my eyes slowly, my vision is blurred and eyes burn. I rest my head back to the soft pillow and cover myself with my blanket.

I start to wonder why that dream occurred, is it a sign? Will he come back for more? What more?

I hug myself as tight as possible, no one is going to walk in and hug me anyway, no one is going to tell me it's alright but then Natsume's face appeared. I close my eyes again and his face seems more vivid now. His caring eyes that feel like home, his ridiculously gorgeous smile that makes even my problems seem like they never existed. I try to reach out to him, I want to forget the world and he seems like the perfect escape pod.

But I know better, he isn't here now. He will never know my pain; he will never be able to heal me completely.

I rub my eyes in frustration, if only that bastard never existed, if only I had been smarter back then. How can I change it now? I cant; I have to live with it like a tattoo.

He never broke a part of me no, that wasn't good enough, did something much worse. He killed a part of me instead.

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At school.

I feel like shit would be an understatement. I felt like the shit's shit.

My eyes were bulging out of their sockets and were red as blood. Nonoko even said I looked like I cried tears of blood. The world seemed dull to me, or maybe just in my eyes. The day went on like a boring play until lunch.

Anna and Nonoko didn't dare ask what happened to me, they just showed simple gestures of trying to make me feel better.

I don't want to be like this, but that dream must have had a really big impact on me than I expected. Seeing Anna and Nonoko try so hard to make me feel good was just making me feel guiltier.

Then the person I least wanted to see just had to make an appearance. I knew it was him from the usual squeals and girly giggles that always followed him around. I felt his arm go over my shoulder and he pulled me close to his side while take a seat next to me.

The twins just stared with an amused look on their faces.

"We need to go search for a few things at the café, see you guys later" and they ran off like little girls.

"You look like death berry" Natsume commented.
I didn't reply but just got up and walked out of the lunchroom, Hyuuga followed relentlessly. I walked to the back of the B section building; I heard his footsteps close by behind me.

I came to a halt but didn't look back.

I felt him staring at my back; I knew he wanted an explanation to my weird behavior. If you didn't know, I have been ignoring him all day. Whenever he called out to me I'm pretend I was listening to music or I'd simply turn the other way.

"What happened between us means nothing Hyuuga." I said in the coldest voice I could pull off…Lies.

I turn around to face him, he had a poker face but his eyes were outraged. I saw his jaw clenched tight.

"I was exhausted and you were… tipsy."

"Don't give me that fucking bullshit Mikan" he cut me off.

I was too shaken by this tone that I didn't have the guts to speak.

"So this is it? The one girl I actually want to be with for the rest of my life, the one girl who I can be myself around is letting me go?" he was a bit softer this time, even pleading.

He took a few steps towards me, and pulled me into a hug. This feeling…this feeling of being safe. I didn't realize how much I really missed it until now. I put my arms around him and I don't want to let go. He broke the hug and I felt my heart sink.

He kissed my forehead and it was bliss, his warm lips melted me into nothing.

"You know I want you in my life but if you don't want me I want to know why." he said as he looked at me with concerned eyes.

I pulled his hand away from me and took a step back; suddenly all of the terrors of last night came back. I am not going to cry infront of him. I wont allow myself to make this more harder than it has to be.

I force a smile, which seemed like the hardest thing to do. I turn my gaze to the ground and my eyebrows scrunch to the center.

"Natsume… no matter what I do or no matter how hard I try I will always have a cut in me. And this cut will bleed and bleed until it drains me out. It's only a matter of time before I lose myself." I look at him only to see him confused.

"I realized last night that, no one can say or do something that will stop the bleeding. I want you to be at your highest peak, I want you to be happy. I cant give you that happiness Natsume, not when I have this 'internal bleeding'" I laughed at the end but it didn't lighten up the mood.

He stared at me with those hurt eyes but sighed in the end. He took out his wallet and was looking for something. What could he be looking for in his wallet that relates to this situation? He took out something and put his wallet back in his back pocket. he took my hand and placed something in my hand.

He held it for a while but let go and walked away with his head faced down. I stare at his retrieving figure till he disappeared around the corner.

I open my hand and the tears I was holding back just overflowed. I felt my knees go weak and knelt down for support from the ground. This simple gesture, how can it so agonizing? I closed my hand tight, holding on to the one thing that now feels like it is keeping me alive. Am I exaggerating? I don't really care.

If you guys are wondering what Natsume gave me, it's simple really. It was a Band-Aid.

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Natsume's POV:

Go back to her you fucking idiot! This voice in my head is really getting on my nerves. I have my pride.

This is how she wants it to be fine. See if I care.

I make my way to the soccer field; I needed to kick some balls. When I reached there I saw the team standing together and they seemed to be talking to someone(s).

Ruka saw me and motioned me to hurry up.

"Dude, Koko is picking a fight with the captain of Rough High's soccer team. You know I cant handle him" he said with annoyance and desperation in his voice.
"What are those bastards even doing here?" I didn't really care if Koko was going to screw a few asses he can handle himself but I do care what those twats are doing on my turf.

"Our coach told discussed with your principal about using the field while you have classes. We need to know our surroundings for the big game after all" a voice came from somewhere.

I know this voice, I swear I do. I turn to the source of it and see him again. The same brown hair and purple eyes or as he introduced himself to me. Mikan's ex.

"Is that so? " I said with a smirk. By now the whole team is behind Ruka and me .

"Oh damn. Where are my manners? I'm Reo Maori, captain of The Wolves" he said while a few guys behind him howl and snicker.

"More like The Bitches to me" Koko remarked. This idiot…

"What you say you fuckshit?" a guy came forward and stood right in Koko's face. The air was intense. And I know a stupid fight is going to start if we don't separate them. Sorry I don't separate them.

" Koko back-off , take it out on the field." He looked like he wasn't going to back down but after 5 seconds of a staring competition he took a few steps back while some guys patted his back.

I turn my attention back to Reo who was smiling at me and it really ticked me off.

"How's Mikan Natsume? Are you keeping her warm for me?"

This asshole, I didn't have control of my body, hell I don't think I have control of my mind. I caught him by the collar and pulled him towards me so we were eye to eye.

The amount of painful things I wanted to do to him in my mind right now. I wanted him to choke out blood on what he jus said.

Who the fuck does he think he is? Just cause he's an ex?

I felt my blood boil and I was losing my mind. I felt my muscles contract and I was going to punch him when...

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Mikan's POV:

I had to find him; I had to make it right. I made a mistake and Kami-sama, thank you for making me realize it!

I wiped my tear-stained face and held on to the Band-Aid tightly. I got up almost falling back down but I gained my balance. I ran to where I last saw Natsume and kept running.

I know he wouldn't go back to class and he is probably mad at me so there can be only one place he would go I hope.

I open the double door that lead to the field and I see two huge groups of buff guys; and it looks like there is a fight or something.

I push my way through to sweaty bodies until I see Natsume holding someone by the collar.

I felt whole body tingle and I suddenly felt nauseous. My ears felt like the blood had blocked my hearing because I couldn't hear what Ruka was saying. I couldn't even hear what Natsume was yelling out to this guy.

I walked closer to see who had gotten Natsume to lose his calm complexion.

Words couldn't describe what I felt. Suddenly everything seemed to gang up on me. After all these years that his face has haunted me, after all the time it took for me to finally be normal again. All that effort and gain was gone because the cause of all my trauma, the cause of me being on the verge of insanity was there right before me.

He looked at me with that same devious smirk he always had, all of sudden I felt his disgusting touch on my body again. His licks, his words, my cries for mercy. It all seemed like it happened yesterday. Roxy's dead body in her room that night she died. Her parents misery after that. The reason why I wanted to let Natsume go…

I ran. I don't know where I don't even care. Just like in my dream, I was running. Deep down I was praying that this was a dream too. That I would wake up and be in my bed safe and sound away from his wrath. But I knew that this was no dream the moment I fell onto the road. Everything went black and for the second time in my life I felt like I needed to die.

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SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING!

I know this chapter is super dramatic but I hope you guys liked it anyway. Life isn't about rainbows and unicorns.

Please Review to boast my confidence to update ;D

I love you all 3

MWAH :*

Nikki.