Chapter 5

After dinner, Jarrod bid everyone an early good night, saying he still had some things to work on, and he carried his briefcase up to his room. Victoria had the perfect excuse to go talk to him, saying, "I want to make sure he's all right," and she headed up not that far behind him.

"He looks so tired," Audra said, shaking her head.

Nick and Heath looked at each other. Victoria had managed to tell them that Jarrod said he learned a lot more than they already knew when he deposed David Lee. They both knew she was going upstairs to get the rest out of him.

Heath walked over to Audra, who was sitting on the settee, and he took her by the hand. "Sis, why don't you and I take a walk around outside? I could get some time winding down."

Audra was now beginning to look suspicious. Too many things seemed to be going on behind her back. "What's happening here?"

Heath feigned ignorance, shrugging. "Nothing I know of. I just want to take a walk. If you don't want to come, I'll go alone, but I've had Nick's company all day. I'm kind of tired of him."

"Hey – " Nick said, catching on to the joke and playing along.

Audra laughed a little and got up. "All right, Heath, I'll be happy to walk with you."

As soon as they went out the front door, Nick went upstairs and knocked at Jarrod's door. Jarrod told him to come in, so he did. "Close the door," Jarrod said.

Nick did so, noticing their mother was sitting in the leather chair in the corner. "What happened?" Nick asked.

Jarrod said, "David Lee brought up what we didn't want him to when I deposed him, and he added more."

"What more?" Nick asked.

"Michael Lee killed himself in April of 1865," Jarrod said. "Was hoping to get into the army, but the war ended, so rather than get killed in battle, he killed himself."

Nick slumped. "Oh, no – "

"It gets worse," Jarrod said. "Margaret Lee died a month later, another apparent suicide. I say 'apparent' because she was found in a lake near Medford. Nobody could tell why she was in there. She just drowned, either by accident or by her own intent. There's no way to know."

"David is bitter, and who can blame him?" Victoria asked.

"I can blame him," Nick said. "None of this is Audra's fault."

"That's not the way David Lee sees it," Jarrod said. "He actually does blame Audra for all of it."

"That's crazy. She was five years old."

"Doesn't matter to him."

"The decision we have to make now is whether we say anything at all to Audra about this," Victoria asked.

"Why should we do it now?" Nick asked. Now that push was coming to shove, he was even more uncomfortable with the thought of actually telling Audra what happened.

"She knows I have David Lee's address," Jarrod said. "She asked for it. She wants to write to Martha."

Nick shook his head. They were all beginning to be backed into a corner, someplace Nick never liked being.

"Where is Audra?" Victoria asked.

"Heath got her out of the house, out for a walk," Nick said.

"You know, there's a chance that David Lee just being in town is going to jog Audra's memory," Jarrod said. "We may have no choice but to talk this over with her in a way we can control, before it comes out on its own and injures her."

"I think I want to talk to Dr. Merar about that before we do," Victoria said. "I'd even prefer to have him there when we do."

Jarrod said, "I hope we have time."

"And an excuse," Nick said. "We can't just haul Audra into his office without an explanation."

"No, but if we have the time, we can talk to him privately first, see what he suggests," Jarrod said.

"Nick," Victoria said, "you were here when it happened. Will you go with me to see Dr. Merar tomorrow and see what he suggests? I half hope he suggests we just leave it alone and see if it passes again before she remembers – "

Victoria's voice caught on the end of the sentence, and both Jarrod and Nick realized how much this was upsetting her. Jarrod put his arm around her.

"Tell you what," Nick said. "She's already worried about Jarrod exhausting himself. You just play sick tomorrow, Jarrod, and I'll go fetch the doc. I can fill him in on what's really going on, and by the time he gets here, he'll be able to tell us what he thinks, and he'll be here to help us if he thinks he ought to do that."

"Sounds like a plan," Jarrod said. "If I act sick enough and Mother acts worried enough, Audra will stay close to home but Mother and I can see him first without her. You and Heath can make sure she's kept occupied, Nick, and if we want to talk to Audra with him here, he'll already be here."

Nick heaved a big sigh. "It's making me nervous, but now I half hope Doc Merar thinks we ought to get this all out in the open. Fifteen years is a long time to keep it a secret."

"We haven't really kept it a secret, Nick," Victoria said. "We just let it slip away. With you two off to war, it was easy enough to do, and with Audra blotting the memory out, we just thought it best to let it happen that way."

"She's not a child anymore, Mother," Jarrod said. "Nick has a point. It might be time for her to remember and to deal with it, and to mourn."

Victoria nodded. "All right. I'll tell her right now you're really exhausted, Jarrod. Come morning, she might believe you really are sick."

"I won't come down in the morning," Jarrod said.

"And I'll come up to check on you, and we'll take it from there," Nick said.

They all nodded to one another. Then, Victoria quietly got up and left the room.

Nick said, "Good night, Jarrod," and followed her out, closing the door.

Victoria and Nick made it back down to the living room before Heath and Audra came back inside. "I need a scotch," Victoria said, and Nick poured it for her. He poured himself a whiskey and sat down beside her.

Then they didn't say a word to each other before Heath and Audra came back in about ten minutes later. Victoria didn't have to work very hard to look worried, although it was not Jarrod she was worried about.

"Is Jarrod all right?" Audra asked quickly.

Victoria sighed. "He's really very tired. I hope he hasn't run himself so ragged that he's getting sick."

"I'm sure he'll bounce back in the morning," Heath said, but then he shared a look with Nick and got the impression that something was brewing that didn't involve Jarrod really being sick.

Audra sat down beside her mother and took her hands. "Heath is right. All Jarrod needs is a good night's sleep."

Victoria smiled at her daughter, then looked up at Nick. Nick said, "We can always fetch the doctor in the morning if we need to, so don't you worry, Mother, and don't you worry either, Audra. If we all get a good night's sleep, things will look better in the morning."

"Yes," Audra said, smiling and patting her mother's hands.

To Victoria this act suddenly seemed so cruel. Here Audra was, trying to take care of them when she was the one in trouble and didn't know it. Victoria had been vacillating on what to do all day, but maybe it was time to help Audra understand what had happened to her and let her mourn. Maybe rather than hoping the doctor would agree, she would get him to agree.

Victoria let her steady gaze fall on Nick, and when she nodded, he understood what she was thinking. Things were in motion. Tomorrow would change everything, and he knew they were all praying it would be for the good.