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SHSHSHSHS

Unfortunately, Sherlock's network wasn't able to find the location of the primary scene before a new body was discovered. By that moment, Sherlock was positively irate with everything and everybody. So when Sherlock and John arrived on the crime scene to join Lestrade and Donovan, it was like a dark cloud was following them. Lestrade almost feared for the safety of the paparazzi as it seemed that John was also in a dark mood. Usually more mild-tempered than his counterpart, he actually told one of the reporters to fuck off when the one asked him, whether he had been trapped in marriage because Mary was pregnant and whether it changed anything to his relationship to Sherlock. So, as the two made their way to Greg and Sally, the two police officers shared a dreading look between them.

"Where is the body, Lestrade?" growled Sherlock without any greetings of any sorts.

"This way, back at the end of the curve. The scene is like the last time, scrubbed and bleached thoroughly with only the smell of charred flesh to overpower it." Said Lestrade as Donovan rolled her eyes but refrained to say anything.

John followed after Sherlock with a quick greeting to the two police officers. Lestrade and Donovan shared a look, both knowing this was one of those days where scathing remarks and passive aggressive behaviour would be on the forefront. If Donovan mostly avoided voicing any opinions when Sherlock was there, whether because she felt some guilt about the events predeceasing the Fall or just new grudging respect for the detective, Lestrade suddenly felt the need to needle the two friends after the merry chase they had sent him the previous days.

"So, you two had a little domestic or what?" he asked, not really trying for inconspicuous nor concerned.

John shot him a dirty look but didn't answer. As for Sherlock, he seemed engrossed into his deductions as he was muttering under his breath. Greg's smile almost faded, seeing that he hadn't been able to bait any of the two consultants, but as Sherlock leaned over the corpse, he finally replied:

"Why, isn't it obvious? You're still a detective, broadly speaking. Haven't you see the unusual pillow marks on John's face and his stiff gait? It's quite evident that he had a domestic but with his wife, not me. It's not like I'd ever send him sleep on the couch."

John turned beet red before mumbling about bloody sociopaths that lived to make his life difficult. Donovan, on her side, snickered lightly before finally reigning in her mirth at the unintended ambiguous statement. As for Lestrade, he just smiled broadly, sure to embarrass the detective once he'd realise what he said.

"Or really? You'd never let him sleep on the couch?" asked Greg, making sure that his voice carried out toward his fellow officers.

Watson swore at that and Greg wondered whether he would intervene. But a look at the army doctor and Lestrade felt sure that he would keep his thoughts for him and try to convey them with a dirty look.

"Of course not! What would be the benefit in it? I'd rather have a somewhat refreshed and up to work blogger than the current grumpy and tired mess that we have now." Replied gingerly Sherlock.

"Oi, Sherlock!" finally shouted John. "Weren't you the one who said to me that you hated small talk?"

"What John? Weren't you the one that said to me that I should engage more with the officers of the law so as to build a mutual friendly working relationship?" quoted the detective back to his friend.

"Not when your friendly working relationship will be based on misconstrued perception of our relationship! People will talk!" angrily shouted back John.

"John, if your marriage and incoming infant is not strong material enough to stop the rumours altogether, I don't see what should. And please, don't start again with your little fantasy tale regarding my sentimental state." Calmly said Sherlock, leaning down to have a sniff at the body.

"What sentimental state?" interrupted Lestrade, quite curious about this new development.

"Sherlock fancies Molly." Replied John stubbornly despite the murderous glance sent his way by the detective.

"What? Molly Hooper?" asked the DI flabbergasted, before sending a disgruntled look at Donovan.

"I do not fancy Molly Hooper. She is my pathologist, nothing else. And she's otherwise engaging in sexual activity with that obnoxious doctor." Growled back Sherlock, now crouching near the corpse and having a look at something beside the head.

"Obnoxious doctor? What the hell is he talking about?" whispered Greg to Sally, trying not to sound too discomfited.

"Well, she's seeing a hotshot from America. From what she told me, he's one of few that can stand Sherlock's deduction and actually make fun of him…" started slowly Sally as if she was admitting something she didn't want to.

"Ok, but why didn't you tell me?" said Lestrade, his focus having shifted completely away from whatever John and Sherlock were doing.

"Because, she knows that you've been taking a little fancy to my pathologist and didn't want to ruin your hopes. As if those weren't forlorn anyway." Sherlock had made his way to the two police officers and was now standing in front of them, holding out a few evidence bags. "Don't look at me that way, it was quite evident from the way you clung at her during John's wedding, from your clothing efforts whenever we are required at the morgue – totally unnecessary as we both know that her fashion sense is quite awful. The strutting in the morgue might be a little more to the point but doesn't change the fact that she'll only see you as a brotherly figure. Which is good as what you're looking for is some rebound, comforting relationship before going back to the unfaithful shrews you seem to favour." Deduced Sherlock, cutting short Greg's attempts at denial. As Sally was going to intervene between the two of them, Sherlock zeroed his eyes on her and kept on with his diatribe. "Actually, that may be the reason why Sally didn't tell you about the lover, she didn't want you to make harsh and hasty decisions and have to shoot you if you ever found yourself breaking the heart of my pathologist. A sentiment that I fully share and help with, would those circumstances occur. "

John, who had followed up after Sherlock, just shook his head disbelieving what he was hearing. The look on Greg and Sally was also priceless. Their faces wore exactly the same expression and was one that wouldn't have differed had Sherlock had sprouted two heads instead of telling Lestrade off of Molly Hooper. The surprise was such that Greg couldn't muster any indignation at the accusations nor Sally any disgust at sharing the same state of mind than Sherlock about something. The detective, quite unaware of the effect of his observations, which was mostly the case whenever he went into a spring of deductions, kept on.

"Now that I think of it, this is a common characteristic between the two of you, to set your minds on people that are obviously attached to others and unable to commit to a monogamous relationship. Hmmm…" After a shrug and maybe registering the arrested faces of the two detectives, Sherlock went back to more serious matter "Well. Anyway, Please send the body to the morgue and register these. I'll meet you at Bart's." he finished before leaving the scene.

From the look on John's face, he was on the verge of saying something. However, he seemed to finally resolve to keep whatever he wanted to say and left after a final goodbye. Sally and Greg, still frozen in place, followed the two men with their eyes until a cab conveniently sprouted from nowhere to take them to Bart's.

"Did I hear right?" whispered the senior officer.

"Yeah, that's the weirdest small talk I've ever heard, but I think it does in fact counts as small talk." Commented Sally Donovan, a little taken aback from all she heard.

"No, that's not that. Did Sherlock deduced me? And warned me away from Molly Hooper? Really?" asked Greg.

Sally shot him an exasperated look. Of course, the only thing that would remember her colleague and friend would be exactly that.

"Yeah. But most of all, I remember him referring to Molly as his pathologist!" she replied.

"You don't mean that… No, not Sherlock… Seriously?" said Greg, interrogating Sally with his eyes. As he replayed Sherlock's words in his head, he seemed to finally understand and his face fell a little.

Sally just nodded, trying to wrap her head around such a strange concept as the consulting detective in love with the quiet, kind pathologist.

In the cab, Sherlock was once again focused on the case. Strangely, the conversation had not distracted too much from the observations, maybe he'll do it again, then. Next to him John sighed deeply.

"What John? You're not again trying to talk about the Molly Hooper thing, are you?" asked Sherlock, trying to cut short the discussion before it even started.

"No, it's not about that. You know, the friendly small talk thing, just forget it." Said John as the cab started to slow down.

"Why?" asked Sherlock, genuinely confused.

"It's really not your area." Replied John as he opened the door of the cab and exited the cab.