I do not own Gakuen Alice.

Chapter 18.

Mikan's POV:

I didn't go to school today. I just don't know what to do. What's the point of going to school anyway? Ok, maybe I didn't want to go because of Natsume but can you blame me? I don't want him all up in my shit. Plus Anna and Nonoko would somehow get the info out of me and I don't want to involve people.

I was still in bed; I told my mom I was sick and she actually fell for it. I effortful-y reach for my phone on my dresser beside my alarm clock.

32 missed calls.

14 messages.

I smiled at it, people do love me. I unlock my phone to see who all have taken their time to give me a holla.

So apparently 16 from that nut-head Anna, 4 from Nonoko and the remaining from Natsume. That guy lowered his pride to call me 12 times? Awwwww. I felt the butterflies in my belly or maybe I was just hungry. I don't know…

I moved on to the messages and it was all hysterical ones from Anna but 1 message was from Sumire.

Things between me and her really aren't at it's highest peak after our last encounter.

I hesitated before opening it but it's now or never. It was loading and then I see this huge paragraph. No sorry, I mean essay. It looks like an essay since my screen is too small.

Hie Mikan,

I know that we aren't on good terms and I know that I can be one of the most selfish person in the world but you still were there for me and babe I want to be there for you.

Remember in 9th grade you bunched that guy 3 times after he cheated on me. I remember you only punched him 3 times since out anniversary was on 3rd July. Anyway, I know this is a hard time for you and I really want to be there, no I HAVE to be there Mikan.

The thing is you wont let me and I feel like the most suckiest person in the world because I cant protect you. Yeah… I cant even protect you. So please babe, don't push me out. I'm not stupid, I know you didn't mean what you said. Even if you did I'd still be writing this text.

Let me be there for you like you were there for me. I don't care what risk it puts me into because you are my fucking babe Mikan! You are my partner in crime, my stupid but smartass best friend and my other half. We fucking complete each other's sentence. We cry over stupid sappy love stories, we feed any street animal we see and c'mon Mikan. Don't push me away when I know you need me most.

Let me do my duty of meeting you and let me be your best friend please?

Sumire.

I could hear her voice inside my head like she was narrating the whole text to me. I love Sumire; she's always been there even if I pushed her away it was always for a good reason. I guess I should call her back, later. Now I just want to get something in my system.

I make my bed and walk to the toilet to do my business there and walk down to the kitchen. I turned the lights on and savage through my refrigerator. There was left over lasagna from two nights ago. I put it in the oven to heat up and made myself a cup of mocha coffee.

You didn't know? Coffee and me are a match made in heaven.

I take my brunch to the living room and switch the TV on. Some show about cats being mean was going on, I know the name ummmm… oh yeah! My cat from hell. I wish I had a cat or dog or fish, but no my mom says I am not responsible enough! Can you believe her?

About 20 minutes passed when I heard someone ring the doorbell. I put my plate on the table infront of me, stretch my whole body while getting up and head for the door. I look through the tiny peephole and see a frantic Anna with a calm but annoyed Nonoko. Ready for impact Mikan…

I unlock my door and Anna barged right in like a maniac. She stared at me with a deadly look that would make children cry. But it was nothing compared to her tone.

"Do you have any idea how worried we were about you?" she said in a whisper but I could tell she was controlling herself from going ballistic.

"Sorry Anna, I just didn't feel well, my head was pounding and I felt like puking every 20 minutes" I tried to sound as convincing as possible. I hope she buys this!

She analyzed me with those eyes of hers from top to bottom and then turned back to the soft Anna who loves me and does not want to shove something up my ass and make me do the catwalk.

" Next time please inform me when you plan to have these mood swings ok?" she smiles and made her way to the living room.

I turn to see Nonoko still at the door; I wanted for her to enter and she did after giving out a sigh.

I know she does not buy my story but at least unlike Anna she wont choke me until I do tell her.

She followed the direction where Anna had gone and I of course did the same.

"Your house is so cozy Mikan! I don't know why but it reminds me of my Granny's house.." her voice faded off at the end. She was sitting on the couch with her legs dangling off the edge. My living room is quite ordinary really. But the cool thing is we have a fireplace but other than that it's totally normal.

"Right Nonoko?" she looked at her sister with sad but happy eyes. Does that make sense?

"Please don't cry, I don't have any tissues left." I said as a joke trying to lighten up the mood.

"And why were you crying?" Nonoko said with a touch of wittiness in her tone.

Shit. She just has to analyze my words too right? Like examining me earlier was not enough!

I racked my brain for an excuse but blank.

"Sis, don't be such a noisy bitch. If Mikan does not want to talk about it then she wont ok? And if she is ready to trust us then she will." Anna suddenly saved me, which shocked me. I looked at Anna wide-eyed and smiled when I saw her smile at me.

"You were the noisy one just awhile ago" Nonoko retorted back.

"But Mikan isn't comfortable and she's sick don't pressurize my baby girl" Anna said in a baby voice while getting off the couch and hugging me tight.

This is gross, I can feel her boobs.

I pulled away from her as soon as possible before I did something obnoxious.

"How was school today?" I said while sitting down on the floor.

Nonoko sat next to me while Anna resumed to her seat before.

"We have a math test tomorrow." Nonoko said while smirking at me. Why does it have to be math? What are the odds? I have more than 3 other subjects and the math just had to step in and steal the spotlight. Math stop being a bitch to me please.

"Oh and… Natsume was looking for you…" Anna smirked at me and came in close to my face. I felt my cheeks redden and I know they both saw it.

They both started to laugh hysterically at me, is my face that funny when I blush? I look at the ground because I was too embarrassed to look at them. Yes, I, Mikan Sakura am embarrassed. I'm a girl…when it comes to him only. And I don't even know why.

Nonoko poked me at my side, wrong move babe. You see when one pokes me it's fine really but when one pokes me at my upper hip… things get kind of serious. My leg instantly shot up and kicked Nonoko right in her stomach. She slowly held her abdomen and curled onto the floor letting out an agonizing squeak. She shouldn't have poked me so hard.

Anna was hitting my sofa with her right hand while her left hand covered her mouth from letting out the sniggering. I was in between the lines of being sorry and not giving a dam because she tickled/poked me.

I wanted to laugh but her poke was really hard. It was like I hit my hip on the edge of a table kind of pain. So I just controlled myself.

RING!

Our moment died when we heard someone ring the doorbell, all our heads turned to the door. It wasn't the main door but the door of the living room but you know what I mean. I felt a coat of panic come over me but I didn't want to show any of it to the girls. So I just walked ahead of them, I don't know where this courage is coming from. If I were alone I would have locked myself in my room and ignored it. I guess it's because they are here that I know I'm not alone…

I felt them creep up behind me casually, like it was their own home. I didn't mid it at all. I reach the door and grab onto the doorknob. I take a deep breath and open the door a bit. A hand grabbed mine at the knob and I shrieked like a cat whose tail got stepped on.

Anna and Nonoko were silent but their face said otherwise.

I saw a foot enter and then I pushed the door with all my might. But to no avail. Anna and Nonoko were frantically screaming behind me. They could have helped me!

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you trying to cut my leg off?" a voice I missed.

My body froze and I left everything go and took a step back. A very exasperated Natsume walks in; his cheeks were pink and his eyes crimson as ever.

I heard the twins giggle but it died when Natsume gave them the death glare.

"Wow, time is riding on a jet plane! We should go home Anna." She snatches Anna by the hand and cautiously moves around Natsume out the door.

What awesome friends I have right?

I wanted to laugh at how I reacted; I was just about to chop his leg off. How cool would that have been? Ok that would have sucked.

We stood there in silence for about 5 minutes just staring at each other. It's like our eyes were having a conversation of their own.

Right now, I can see how worried he was about me, he must have been bothered with the fact that I didn't answer any of his calls or had the courtesy message him but he was also outraged. He looked like he had a storm inside his mind. I felt guilty and shocked. I know I should have handled this situation more maturely, for that I am blameworthy. But it's weird how we can communicate like this just by looking at each other.

Natsume, you really are something outlandish…

"Hie…" I tried to break the silence.

"That's all I get Mikan? Really?" he gave me the i-can't-believe-you look.

More silence followed.

"Ok, no more shit. I didn't feel well last night and I slept in." I leaned against the wall for support. I could tell he wasn't going to follow me to the living room even if I walked away.

"What happened to you last night? You seemed fine when you ran home." He came near to me.

I knew he was going to ask me this, what do I say now? I avoided his gaze for a reason, he can see right through me even if I was the most eminent liar in the world. I don't know what to do now. I'm stuck again.

I felt his finger lift my chin slightly. Here we go again, I'm going to tell him everything and only God knows what he'll do next.

"You know you're going to tell me right?" he said with a smirk. Why do I enjoy seeing that smirk?

"Reo came over yesterday…" I whispered just loud enough for him to hear.

"What did he want?" he said intensely. My eyes enlarged trice it's size; he doesn't know…

"Why are you looking at me like that?" his eyebrows tighten.

How do I explain something like this? I wanted to tell him, everything so that he would know I have nothing to hide. It's hard to open up again. This moment I find myself speechless. My vocabulary has disintegrated.

Here goes nothing.

I look back at him and sent him a message to calm down. I take him hand in mine; our fingers intertwined. I give him a broken smile and I feel my eyes water up.

"Remember what Sumire told you? In the hospital?" my hand trembles with my body but he holds my hand tighter and his expression changes.

I took his soundless response as a queue for me to continue.

"Yeah… That's him." I look away. How could I look at his expression? Me getting hurt I can handle but seeing him hurt? No, seeing him hurt because of me? I rather go burn in hell.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I felt his body stiffen through his grip on my hand.

I didn't say anything; hell I don't know what to say. So I went with what came to my mind first. No second thoughts.

"I'm fine Natsume, I handled it just fine" I tried to defend myself.

"Are you fucking stupid?"

"I don't need you to be my knight and shiny armor. I'm not 12 anymore."

"What if he did something to you? How would you protect yourself? How do you think it would make me feel to know what could have happened?" he took a breathe.

"Why the fuck do you care so much?" No, Mikan don't push him away.

"Because…" he was about to say something but chose not too.

"Exactly, you aren't my boyfriend so I don't think this is even any of your business. Just stay the hell away from me " Mikan, you are making a big mistake.

"Fine." He roughly let go of my hand and slammed the door behind him.

I did the same thing to Sumire… I pushed her away too. I just don't want anyone to get hurt, I don't want people I care about involved. If I'm going down this road I'm going alone.

Natsume, you deserve much more than I can give. Please just walk away and don't take a look back. I don't want you to waste your time on me. Even if you make me feel vivacious, even if you made me forget the past when I'm with you. It's always going to be a part of me. I wonder when I did fall in love with you.

I wish I could tell him this rather than staring at my hand right now.

Why do we fall in-love in the worst way?

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I know I have not updated for like forever but college is really hard :'( oh well hahaha hope you like it.

Please Review to boost my enthusiasm in updating more.

Love you guys mwah mwah mwah :*

Nikki ;D