I do not own Gakuen Alice.

Chapter 19.

Mikan's POV:

"Mikan Sakura you are not going to be absent for the third time in a row!" My mom yells out while we have a tug-of-war with my blanket being the rope. Just so you guys know, this is completely normal between my mother and me. Trust me, she has even worse tactics than this but does not have the time for them today. I try to pull as hard as I can and hoped that I'd fall back to sleep.

"I don't know what has gotten into you Mikan but whatever it is you cant keep running away from it. Stop disgracing the Sakura name and face it like a woman!" my mom gave up pulling and instead just gave in into trying to talk me to going to school. Really mother?

"Ok fine I'll go! Sheesh woman." I muffle my words while rubbing my eyes and then stretching my body.

"Good. I'm off then and if I will call your teacher to make sure you attend school today. Babush!" she takes her bag and closes the door behind her.

I take my pillow and place it on top of my face and let out a very deafening scream. No one is going to hear me anyway, thanks to thy pillow. I remove the pillow from my face and jolt my legs up bring the rest of my body up too.

I get ready for school, the usual routine of brushing my teeth and spending 20 minutes untangling my hair. I put on my uniform then take another look at the mirror; I straighten the hem of my skirt that was a little crisp.

I let out a sigh will staring at my reflection and wrap my arms around myself. Sometimes you have to hug yourself to make it all better, don't believe me? Hug yourself right now and smile. You'll know what I mean.

I get my bag and decide to skip breakfast since I had half a pizza last night. I have to go jogging to loose all that weight now.

I lock my main door behind me and put in my earpods and bob my head to the song .

I am 2 blocks away from school now, the usual car honks and whistes were all numbed out by my beautiful song.

So this is what it feels like?

To be at the right place, the right time.

I was enjoying my song until some idiot just had the amazing idea of popping one of my earpods out, bad move you son of…

"Why? What did I ever do to you mann?" I said with a straight face.

"I couldn't help it Miki." With that goofy smile on his face.

"Koko if you weren't my best friend's boyfriend I would have ripped your lips off." I teasingly threaten him.

"Ahhh so she's still your best friend?" he smiles even wider.

I ignore his comment and continue to walk assuming he'd walk with me too. We walk slowly in silence for about 3 minutes.

"You know, Natsume gets pissed whenever me and the guys ask what's up with you ad him" he said.

"Is that not how he reacts always?"

"Well, usually he'd have a smirk and ignore the topic or say how he could be attracted to an idiot like you." he kicked a stone that was in his way.

"Hey!" I looked at him with a hurt face.

"But yesterday when I asked him he just had a poker face on."

I kept silent because I didn't know he was asking me if something happened between us or what.

He grabs my wrist gently that makes me stop walking. We were about 10 feet away from the entrance of Gakuen alice. I look at him and then at my hand and then back at him. I waited for him to say something because I knew he wanted to say something. So go ahead Koko, I know I am the asshole here so get it over with. I run my free hand through my hair and stand still.

"It's none of my business why you, Natsume and Sumire are having such a hard time breathing but from the looks of it, you seem to be pushing them away Mikan." He pauses.

When I showed no sign of answering him he tightened his grip on my wrist not so much to hurt me but enough to get my complete attention. My eyes were glued to his right now,

"Would you like it if they pushed you out of their life because of some issue?" he asks.

I nod my head no.

"Then what the fuck are you doing?"

We hear the bell ring and the students outside rushed in hopes that they wont be late. Koko lets go of my hand and just runs towards the gate leaving me there questioning every word I said to Sumire and Natsume the last time I saw them.

What am I really doing? I can't believe I was such a bitch when they were just trying to help me. How ungrateful can I get? It's like my body is showered with guilt. I just didn't want them to get hurt because of me but at the same time I miss them. I miss having them in my life, I miss their value and they both have a part of me. I smile at my final thought before I casually walk to my first class.

Try living without a part of yourself, how can you live incomplete? You can't.

It is math time right now and I jus stare out of the window because I don't even understand when I listen so why waste my time? The soccer team has practice the whole day and they were all given permission to skip classes. I didn't know how to be when Natsume was there so I was somewhat glad he wouldn't be here. But I can't avoid him till I graduate right?

The time passed by without giving a fuck and it is now break time. The twins and me walk into the cafeteria and sit in our usual place after getting something to eat.

Usually I would have a hug appetite and eat but now? I just don't know. The girl noticed it but didn't ask me anything about it. Well not yet anyway. I didn't say a lot to them the whole day just a few polite words is all.

From the position I was sitting I was on the left end of the cafeteria but I had a clear view of the door access door of it. I knew my eyes wandered to them hoping that a certain someone would walk in. I didn't want to be like this, waiting for him but I cant help it really.

And just like that he enterswith the rest of the teamfollowing him. My heart does what it always does when I see him. It beats like the bass sound of some skirlex song. I suddenly felt uncomfortable in my seat and shifted into a new position. My hands were on the table while my legs are cris-cross. Yes Mikan look more like an idiot than you really are.

He heads my direction which makes me start to panic even more. How do I react to him? What do I say? Should I say hi first? Does my breath smell like chicken from that salad I ate? So many useless question right now.

I redirect my gaze to Anna who had this "your-crush-is-coming-over-and-you-just-had-a-huge-fight-so-get-ready-to-face-ultimate-awkwardness" look on her face. I look at Nonoko who had the "I'm-have-the-same-look-as-her" face. Oh how I wanted to say fuck you to them but too late..

I expected something, like a simple hello even a nod of the head but nothing. He passed by my like I was a ghost he didn't see. The dose of disappointment I feel right now is too much. I heard Anna gasp a little but quickly covered it up hoping I didn't hear or see it but I did.

I heard him sit down at the table behind me, his boys were laughing and well being boys. I stared at my water bottle just standing there on the table. I snatch it and gulp it all down. I place it back on the table but it's still in my grip. I breathe in hard and out.

I stand up quite harshly I think since Nonoko jumped a little from my sudden action and I head for the other door which meant I had to turn and see his face. I turn and see him staring right at me. If he can hold his pride so can I.

I walk passed him just like he passed me and I did take notice of how the rest of the team watched my every move.

After I passed him I heard them all go 'ohhhhh' and 'oooowwwww' and I can't help but smirk. I was near the door already, it was closer anyway. Just before I make my amazing exit I throw my water bottle like it was his face and slam the door behind me.

Classic bitch.

He had it coming you know, don't think I'm the douchebag here.

You know, now that I think about it I don't even remember this part of the school but it looks familiar. No one is here and I hear my footsteps echo through the emptiness. I look at the first door I see. Hey! This is where I take English…

Mikan you are a fucking moron. There has been a door that leads straight to building C from building B and you discover it now. Nice one smartass. I rest my fist on the door and let out a small giggle. Gosh the amount of times I was late for class and here we have a door that passes by right through the buildings!

"You shouldn't smile by yourself, it makes you look like an idiot."

I turn my head to the right and see Natsume holding a chocolate milk carton in one hand while his body was laid back on the wall. I wonder how long he was there…

"I just didn't know there was a door that I could have used to get to English class faster that's all" wait, weren't we having a silent argument a few minutes back?

"That door was always there for you Mikan, you were just too oblivious to open it." He looked at me. his words have a second meaning I know.

"What are you implying?"

He doesn't say anything but just slides down the wall and sits on the ground. It would be awkward if I were standing so I sit down next to him but 2 feet away. Don't ask me why because I don't know either..

I study the pale blue wall opposite to us waiting for I don't know what. Natsume takes a sip of his chocolate milk and I didn't even finish my salad in the cafeteria. I know it's a wrong time to be feeling this but I really just want to snatch it away from him and consume it for myself.

"If you want some just ask, don't look at me like I'm a mouse and you're an eagle ready to claw me" he said while still looking at the wall but his hand stretched out towards me.

"Thanks.." I mutter.

I was about to take a sip but then,

"I'm sorry." I blurted out.

"For what?"

"You know what Hyuuga. Don't make me say it out loud" I said sternly.

"You did a lot of things Berry."

"Excuse me?"

Silence.

"I'm sorry for treating you like that, I just didn't want you to get hurt because of me… I don't want anyone involved, I don't want anyone to take the blame for me. I can be hurt over and over again I don't care how many times just not the people I love." I take a breath, I curl up into a ball to hold myself.

"Do I look like I cant handle myself?" he didn't sound mad but I think he's hurt.

"You look more than capable…"

"Then why push me away?" this time he looked at me with his bloodshot eyes. He looks like shit. Still handsome but his eyes said something else. His eye bags were the size of dung beetles. That was a bad metaphor but stay with me here.

I didn't answer right away; I have to choose my words wisely.

"I told you Hyuuga, I don't want you to get hurt. I know you can handle yourself but that isn't a risk I want to take." I finally say.

He stared at me coldly.

"Mikan, you are so stubborn." He places his hand on my head .

"Stop it…"

"But that's one of the things I adore about you, you never agree to anything I say" he comes closer by sliding to me and remember that 2 feet? Yeah it became 0.0001 now.

I look at him and remove his hand from my head but I didn't let it go. I missed these hands. I miss them around me.

"I'm sorry Hyuuga…" I look at him with pleading eyes.

He hugs me and I feel so relieved that he did. His head was above mine and I could feel his heart beating so fast. I smile because my heart was doing the exact same thing.

"Natsume." He said.

"What?"

"It's annoying when you call me Hyuuga" he shrugs.

"Everyone calls you natsume, I want it to be different you know?"

"But when you say it, it feels different."

I didn't break the hug completely but I moved back abit so that I could look at him.

"Natsume…" I say sweetly, "You have practice and I have class. Let's get our my sorry ass and your mighty one going."

We both got up and headed back the long way to the cafeteria. It was silent but comfortable.

"Berry, do you love me?" WHAT? Where the hell did that come from? Is this Natsume? I knew he was sappy and all but really?

"What the fuck mann?" I retorted.

"I can be hurt over and over again I don't care how many times just not the people I love." He mimicked my every word with a failure girly voice.

I felt myself blush and the butterflies were not in my tummy but inside my whole body. Why does this douche have to be so observant and and… UGH.

"That was an in-the-moment-thing ok? Don't think too much Hyuuga." I tried to hide my blush but I know he knows.

"Ahuh, I believe you." he smirks. That smirk will be a reason I end up killing him someday.

I punch him as hard as I can but he saw it coming and dodged it without any trouble. So it ended up with me punching the air, smooth Mikan.

I chased him back to the cafeteria where most of the students were leaving for class. I did notice all the stares from the girl population of this school. Heard a few nasty comments but like I give a noodle about it.

I saw Luna glare her hardest at me but I just smiled sweetly and walked beside Natsume back to my table. Ahhhh sweet revenge.

Koko is chatting with Anna and Nonoko and they seemed to be having fun. They saw us coming together and all had that ridiculous smile on their face. I'd do the same I guess so it's fine.

"Koko I want to talk to Sumire is she coming here today to see you?" I ask.

"Yeah she is, how lovely right? The girl picking up the guy we are so perfect." He has gone into a daze so I let him be.

After I talk it out with Sumire everything will be fine and I can sleep at night now.

Then I saw him… just standing there at the main entrance of the cafeteria just observing me. He had his soccer uniform on and was sweaty. I felt chills go down my whole body… then I felt something warm take hold of my hand. I look down to find Natsume holding my hand while staring at him too. I tighten our hold and look back at Reo and smile.

I wont let him hurt anyone anymore, I will be strong and face the devil. But most importantly I wont let him hurt me.

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HEY! I am so sorry for not updating

College you know that life UGH.

Anyway hope this chapter is ok…

Please review because I love reviews. Thankyou 3

Nikki