I keep forgetting to write author's notes ._. I'm still getting used to the whole thing that I just end up copy-pasting and forgetting to write ANs right away in my haste to put up a new chapter ): Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! New things coming soon and it'll be awesome to see what you guys think! Review, favorite, follow please (: They all drive me forward!

Chapter 40

Another few weeks have passed peacefully. Peeta and I continue our routine, almost as if my declaration of love hadn't happened. I'm pretty sure that Peeta is just stepping carefully around me, not sure how much affection he can give me without pushing our boundaries.

It both relieves and frustrates me.

Yes, I am relieved that Peeta doesn't push me to do anything I don't want. I don't know how I would react if he ever did.

Which also brings up the fact that it frustrates me. Sometimes I secretly wish that he would. I don't know how I would react if Peeta was the one to initiate the romantic exchanges.

But its Peeta. He's practically the most romantic man in all of Panem.

I shake my head, wondering why I'm even pondering over these thoughts. Peeta has been out all day, supervising the construction of the bakery. It is coming along well, the building almost complete as Peeta has me help him pick out the little details that will make it ours- the paint for the walls, the doorknob for the front door, the display cases for the pastries. He seems to want to include me in everything, which warms me every time I think about it.

Over the past few weeks since I told Peeta how I truly felt, I can tell that he's been including me in almost every aspect of his life. We talk more now, not that it really makes a difference since we know almost everything about each other. But we do try to fill each other in on our days. Peeta also has taken to giving me a kiss before we go to bed. He seems content by the way he sighs comfortably right when I press myself into that space in between his arms where I belong. "I love you," he always says before pressing a kiss somewhere on my face, whether it be my cheek or my forehead, and falling asleep. He never expects me to say it back. He's already heard it once. But I personally hope that one day, I will be able to overcome my fears of love and convince myself that me and Peeta will not end up like my mother and father.

Its almost time for dinner when Peeta comes home, shivering but beaming. He throws off his heavy coat, dusted with snow, and comes over to where I am stirring the soup. "Hey," he says, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head on my shoulder.

I try to ignore the sparks that fly from his touch. "Hi. How is the bakery?"

Peeta tries to keep the grin off his face. "Its finished! We just need to get the painting and furnishing done. Thom says he can get a few people to do it for free. They'll install the new ovens and prep the kitchen. I want us to do the painting."

"Us?" I say questioningly. I turn around in his arms after flipping the heat down to low on the stove.
He nods. "I want you to be a part of it too," he says, his eyes meeting mine earnestly. "Its because of you that the bakery is built. Its because of you that I'm back to doing something I love." He bends his head and kisses my cheek softly. "You're a part of it all, Katniss. You're a part of me."

I flush hot at his words. They hit me right in that spot I have in my heart only for him. The one that I refused to believe would ever lead to good. The one I was scared to acknowledge because of my mother and father.

"You're my whole life," he says. He pulls me to him quickly and places a kiss on my lips. Its gentle, one that makes me wish he would deepen it and breathe me in. But when I open myself to him, he pulls back with a grin.

"What?" I ask, a little dazed from his affection.

"Christmas is in a week," he says, releasing me so he can grab some bowls from the cupboard. "Did you forget?"
"No." To be honest, I hadn't. In fact, I was well aware of the fact simply because I was searching for the perfect Christmas gift for Peeta. I had already gotten most of the gifts taken care of already, wrapped carefully and placed in a neat pile in the closet. But I still hadn't gotten Peeta's yet.

Peeta smiles then. "We should get a tree," he muses. "You know, the ones from 7?"

"I saw them on the train that brought you back to 12," I say, remembering. "I was considering buying one for Sae and her granddaughter."

His eyes glow warmly. "So, we'll get a tree?"

I find myself warming to the idea of spending Christmas with Peeta. Normally, people in the Seam didn't celebrate Christmas the same way that Merchants and other Districts did. Mostly because we were so poor.

But Christmas really wasn't about gifts. It never was for me. It was about spending it with people that you love. People that you cherish. So spending Christmas with Peeta seemed almost unreal.

"Okay," I say, placing the portions of soup out on the table along with a sliced loaf of bread. Peeta sits at the table and waits for me to join him before picking up his spoon.

"You know, its going to be our first official Christmas together," he says. He looks relaxed, happy. I nod, trying to suppress my own smile. It feels so right that I don't want to ruin the moment at all.

I can feel the lone thought in the back of my mind, reminding me that Prim won't be here this time. That she won't be able to open up a present. That I won't be able to see the smile on her face when I treat her to a gingerbread cookie from the bakery. Not that the bakery is really there anymore, but things are new now. A new bakery. A new Christmas.

Peeta's hand resting on mine pulls me back. I look up from my soup to find Peeta looking at me worriedly. "Did I-"

"Yeah, you disappeared for a while," he says, his eyebrows knitting in concern. "Are you okay?"

I nod distractedly. "Don't worry about it, Peeta. How long?"

"A few minutes." His lip twitches as if he wants to say more, but the phone rings, interrupting him.

We share a surprised glance, mostly because the phone hardly ever rings. Sure, there have been a few calls from Doctor Aurelius since I promised Peeta that I would try to talk to him more, but my next call was scheduled after Christmas. Not before.

Peeta moves to get up, but I hold a hand out to stop him. "I got it. Just rest. Your leg must be killing you."

I move to pick up the phone, grasping the cold plastic before lifting it off the receiver with a click. "Hello?"

"K-Katniss?"

I almost drop the phone in my shock. After fumbling with it for a few moments, I press it to my ear firmly. "Annie?"

"Katniss? Are you alright? I heard noises-"

"I'm fine, Annie. How are you? I haven't heard from you since- In a while." I refrain from mentioning Finnick's name.

Annie doesn't seem to notice my slip-up. "I'm alright. Its been too long."

I'm still bewildered by the fact that Annie is calling. "Oh, well, is something wrong?"

"Oh, no no. I was actually calling for Peeta since this is his the phone number he gave me, but I was going to call you too anyways."

"Oh? Why's that?" I push down the feelings of embarrassment. I shouldn't feel that way, not now when I've told Peeta how I feel about him.

But I still haven't told anyone else. Except Haymitch, but only because he already suspected it.

"I-I was wondering if you'd like to come visit me and Finn in District 4 for Christmas. A party," she says quietly. I almost don't hear her, she's so quiet.

At first, I'm surprised. If Annie is calling me and Peeta, she must be lonely. But not only that. It perhaps also means that she doesn't blame us for Finnick's death. I feel a pang of sadness when I think of Finnick, but I know I owe it to him to spend Christmas with his family when he can't.

"Of course, we'll be there, Annie."

She seems startled. "Oh! Well, that's good. You can come to 4 in a few days. I-I'll send someone to pick you up from the train station."

"Okay." I briefly remind myself not to mail Annie and Finn's presents. "We'll be there."

"Alright. Good bye, Katniss. It... it was nice to hear from you again." She sounds faint. Perhaps she's sinking back into being lost. I immediately feel guilty, but I return the farewell and place the phone back on the machine.

Peeta looks at me expectantly.

"Looks like we can forget the tree," I say. "We're going to 4 for Christmas."