Chapter 10
Dear Mr. Lee,
I am writing because I know my brother Jarrod took your deposition yesterday, and he told me what you said about what happened to your family. I want you to understand that until today, I had no memory of what happened the day Martha died. I was only five years old, and the doctor told me that forgetting it was a child's way of coping with something as horrible as that day was. Today, after Jarrod told me about your deposition and my family told me what happened the day Martha died, I finally did remember what happened.
I am writing because I want you to know how sorry I am for all the pain you are in and for my part in causing you that pain. I can never bring your family back to you, and I know that you may never forgive me for all the things you blame me for. I am not asking for your forgiveness. I only want you to know that now I remember, and I am sorrier than I can ever say.
Respectfully,
Audra Barkley
Audra gave her letter to her brother and waited while he read it over. Jarrod was actually pretty impressed with it. It was simple. It didn't ask for forgiveness or even understanding. Audra only apologized. When Jarrod looked up at her, he smiled, and he kissed her.
"Are you ready for it if he writes back and tears you apart, Audra, or if he doesn't write at all?" Jarrod asked.
"I don't know," Audra said. "I think so. I might not be. But I think that, even if he does write back and tear me apart, I'll still feel better writing the letter than not writing it."
"All right," Jarrod said. "I'll address an envelope for it and send it off."
"Uh – " Audra suddenly said. "Maybe it would be a good idea if you didn't send it for a day or two, in case I lose my courage."
Jarrod smiled. "I was gonna do that anyway, but I have a feeling you won't be losing your courage. You're the bravest woman I ever met."
Audra smiled, a bigger smile than she had in days. It was good to see.
XXXXXXX
Jarrod came home, two days later, at the end of his work day. His family was already gathered in the living room, talking and sharing drinks. Audra was smiling, laughing at some story Nick had told and Heath was teasing him about.
Jarrod came in and took all the laughter away.
They could see immediately that he was drawn, looking almost like he had lost ten pounds since he left in the morning. He put his briefcase down on the floor in the foyer and came closer, opening his mouth like he wanted to say something but didn't know what to say.
"Jarrod, what is it? What's wrong?" Victoria asked.
Jarrod took an envelope out of his inner jacket pocket. "Audra, I was going to mail your letter today, but I never got the chance."
Audra got up from the settee and came over to him. "Why not? What's happened?"
Jarrod looked at her. He looked so tired. "Phil Archer came to see me, about an hour ago. He got a wire from the sheriff in Medford, Oregon. David Lee was on the last leg of his trip home when the stage coach he was on ran off the road. He, two other passengers, the driver and the shotgun were all killed."
"Oh," Audra groaned. "Oh, no."
Jarrod took her into his arms. "I'm sorry, Honey. He never would have gotten your letter even if I had mailed it."
"Oh, Jarrod – " Audra sobbed. "He never knew – "
"No, he never knew."
Audra pulled back and wiped tears from her face. She saw her mother had slumped back in the settee, and Nick and Heath were just looking at the floor. "Maybe at least they're all together again," Audra said.
Jarrod nodded. "Maybe that has to be enough for us, for you."
Audra nodded, too, and took the letter from Jarrod. She took it to the fireplace and threw it into the flames there. She watched it burn.
The End