HELLO. I am so so sooooo sorry for not posting sooner, but I have been ridiculously busy with midterms, papers, and all that junk that quarter-system colleges decide to throw at you before break. :( I HAVE MISSED YOUR REVIEWS. I feel terrible about leaving you guys hanging about District 4 but it will be progressing *drumroll* JUST IN TIME FORO CHRISTMAS :D YAY, CHRISTMAS WITH THE ODAIRS (: Surprise surprise :P Anywho, enjoy! Read, rate, review, ask questions, shoot me messages, send me cupcakes. I don't relaly care, I just love you guys (:

Chapter 43

I toss a few of my shirts from the closet towards the bed, noting that District 4 is known for having very mild winters and trying to figure out what else to pack. We depart in only a few hours and I haven't packed a thing except for the Christmas gifts.

"You know, if you folded them neatly and put them into your bag, you'd be able to find your things more easily." I turn to see Peeta, who is holding onto one of the shirts I had tossed towards the bed. He walks over to my bag, folds it neatly, then sits on the bed, placing the folded shirt next to him.

"Worry about your own things, Peeta," I say, turning back to the closet to pull out a long-sleeved shirt.

He smiles as I walk over and begin to stuff my travel bag with my unfolded clothes. "I've already packed everything I need." He pauses to snake an arm around my waist and pull me closer. "Except you."

I twist out of his grasp easily, trying to ignore the blush that rises to my cheeks every time he says something like that. I can almost feel Peeta's glee at my embarrassment emanate from behind me but I'm not embarrassed because of his actions.

No. I'm embarrassed because of the words that almost slipped out of my mouth.

Anywhere you go is where I need to be.

Even though Peeta and I are technically taking our time with our relationship, I can't help but still feel awkward when expressing my feelings for him. It never sounds as fluent or poetic as when Peeta says it. It hardly sounds romantic at times. Its almost rushed, something said in the heat of the moment.

And I hate it.

Because I'm not just saying it because of a moment. I'm saying it because I truly do care about him.

Peeta's hands slip around my waist again and I let him hold me as I finish zipping my bag. When I finish, his hand reaches out grabs it before he carries it over to where our other bags are. "Is this all of it?"

I nod. "The presents are in the crates over there." Peeta places my bag next to his before turning to me.

"Are you alright?"

I give him a strange look. "What makes you think I'm not?"

"Nothing. I'm just worried. About how you feel about District Four and Annie."

It unnerves me how Peeta manages to pinpoint every single insecurity that I have. He always seems to find that apprehension, no matter how hard I try to conceal it, and urge me to talk to him about it- something I don't normally feel comfortable doing with other people. Keeping it to myself never seemed to be a problem. But now that Peeta and I are actually communicating with each other, promising to help each other, I'm obligated to tell him the truth at all times, no matter how hesitant we are or how the other will react.

"Its Finnick," I confess after a few silent heartbeats. Peeta doesn't look surprised at all when I say this. "I..."

I can't continue because I know that I won't be able to convince myself that its alright. Because it isn't alright that Finnick is dead and I'm still here.

But Peeta just wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head as I struggle to control the raging emotions surging through me. "Don't cry," he says softly.

His hold around me calms me enough so he can pull back and look me in the eye. "We're going to take care of them," he promises. "For Finnick. He was a great man and it'll take both of us to even try to fill the legacy he's left. But don't blame yourself for his death, Katniss. He knew it was going to be this way right when he signed up to be on the squad. And he'll never regret that decision as long as we take care of Annie and Finn."

I can only nod stiffly because if I do anything more, I know the tears will come pouring out. Peeta only takes me into his arms again and I bury my head into the crook of his neck, holding him tightly.

Its the knock at the door that breaks us apart. Peeta smiles to me as he goes to answer it. "This seems to happen a lot, doesn't it?" he laughs as he opens the door. Gale stands at our bedroom door, looking a bit uncomfortable.

"Sorry about the intrusion," he apologizes quickly before I can say anything. Even Peeta looks a little stunned as well. "But I'm here to transport you all to the train station."

"All? I thought it was just me and Peeta?" I say.

"You, Peeta, and Haymitch," Gale corrects before picking up the heavy crate as if it were weightless. "All three of you were invited to the Odairs."

Peeta laughs as I scowl. "He can't be that bad if Annie is willing to tolerate his presence for a few days," he chuckles as he grabs our bags and leads the way down the stairs. Gale grins as he follows after Peeta, leaving me to train behind, locking up the house and shutting off the lights.

As I reach the open front door, I realize that I hear Peeta and Gale talking as they lift the baggage into the car Gale had been authorized to use. I remain hidden behind the front door as I strain to hear what they're saying.

"-a good time in Four." Peeta sounds cheerful as I hear the thump of one of the present crates being loaded into the vehicle.

"I'm sure you will," Gale agrees. "What are your plans?"

"Whatever Katniss wants to do," Peeta says truthfully. He shuts the trunk with a thud.

"Is she alright? About Four?" Gale sounds sincerely curious, but Peeta only sighs.

"She feels badly about Finnick Odair."

Irritation sparks in me. I don't like how Peeta is telling Gale about this. I don't really know why. Perhaps its because I only feel comfortable trusting Peeta with this information. Its such a personal, delicate topic that I dislike even thinking about. Divulging that information to Peeta shows just how much I trust him.

And now he's confiding to Gale.

"I've only heard what happened to Odair, but from what has been said, it wasn't her fault at all," Gale snorts, but Peeta sounds frustrated.

"She still blames herself though. Going to Four is a huge step for her, and I know she feels like she's obligated to take care of Finnick's family for him. But I wish I could just take away her guilt completely."

My irritation just moments before evaporates then. Now I feel guilty about Peeta. He's only been trying to help me. He doesn't have anyone to talk to about me and my problems. Haymitch isn't exactly the most welcoming when it comes to personal problems. He has his own to deal with.

But Peeta has been trying extremely hard to understand me. To work with me and help the broken Mockingjay fly again.

I wonder briefly how understanding I seem to Peeta. Haymitch has mentioned on numerous occasions how it seems like I'm the one kicking Peeta around and mistreating him. But how fair is that? Can't he tell how much I'm trying?

Apparently not. And neither can anyone else.

"I'm sure Finnick died to save her for a reason. She's a very special girl, Peeta."

"I just wish she knew how special," he replies.

I grimace, but decide I've heard enough. I'm just about to open the door and step out when I hear Gale mumble, "I'm sorry for everything."

Peeta is quiet for a moment. "You've done nothing but help us-" he begins hesitantly, but Gale cuts him off. "I mean for all the things before. Trying to take her from you."

"I don't blame you," Peeta says quietly, but I can tell he's lying through his teeth.

"I heard everything from Haymitch. I must've been a thorn in your side," Gale comments blandly. I peek around the door to find Peeta staring intently at the ground. "When you're in love with somebody, all you want to do is give them everything," is Peeta's response when he finally says something.

I stride outside then, shutting the door firmly behind me so both of them look up in surprise. After turning the key firmly in the lock, I walk over to both of them.

But my eyes are only for Peeta as I stretch up and place a firm, but lingering kiss on his lips.

Its probably not the most appropriate thing to do. Especially not when Gale is standing only a short distance away.

But its appropriate for the moment. Peeta's words do more than just say things. They touch my heart. They reach me.

I pull away when Peeta's hand reaches down and grips mine tightly. "Ready to go?"

Speechless, he simply nods, his brilliantly blue eyes blinking rapidly. I almost laugh. It never ceases to amaze me that whenever I show affection to Peeta, he's lost his silver tongue.

I turn to Gale, exchanging an amused glance with him. His eyes shine back at me in the sunlight.

"We better hurry. You don't want to miss your train."