Shadows of the World

If my concentration had been lax before, I could now barely focus on a single sentence, let alone Godric wittering on about ideas for the sorting ceremony. My spoon clinked loudly against the side of my plate and I quickly picked up the cup of tea to take a sip. I didn't want to look at anyone. I still felt sore and tired, the muscles in my legs ached dully.
"Helga, what do you think?" Godric asked.
I glanced up, then looked back down to my plate, Salazar's sharp eyes burning into me, "Mm-hm." I nodded. Godric, however, frowned.
"You seriously think we should put first years in a cage with a werewolf to prove themselves?" Salazar said coolly and I felt my cheeks instantly heat up.
"No, of course not. I…I…um…"
"Helga, what is it? You've been very quiet all morning and acting oddly this past week." Rowena said tenderly, she put a comforting hand over mine.
"Sorry." I muttered.
"Come on Helga, you can tell us, you can trust us." Rowena said. Both Godric and her looked worriedly at me, Salazar was making a good attempt to, but his eyes were narrowed and his mouth a thin line of distaste. I was more than grateful that Rowena and Godric were sitting either side of him, so he could not pinch my thighs or my arms.

"I'm just going to miss the children, that's all." I muttered.
Godric edged his chair nearer mine and put a brotherly arm around my shoulder, "I thought as much."
I leaned into his embrace, not wanting to look at Salazar and knowing full well he could be furious with me later, but I was too tired to care. I looked up to Rowena, but she still looked troubled.
"They'll be back next year, Helga." he said comfortingly, "You can go back to Wales, during the summer, to be with your household. I'm sure you're heartily sick of us." Godric grinned at his own joke. I smiled, but pushed my chair away from the table.
"I'm going to check my gardens, I will see you all at supper." I said, eager to get away from Rowena's look of concern, Godric's now blasé attitude and Salazar's small, twisted smirk. He sat in his seat, rolling his knife between his long fingers, and arrogant nod of his head when I left the room. Despite how little I had eaten I felt sick to my stomach.

I practically ran down the hallway and into the wide expanse of the grounds, trying to breathe in as much air as I could. I ran as swiftly as I could into the glasshouses and busied myself with pulling on my gardening gloves. I dug my hands into warm earth, the comforting smell and feel of mud. But even with the warm scent, I had to grip the edge of the table, a retch making my body spasm as I dry heaved by the small saplings and cuttings I had made. I found myself shivering miserably, hoping I would not be sick in the greenhouses as the mess would be difficult to clear and explain to both students and my fellows. I grabbed a tray of cuttings that I had not quite finished and began to snip delicately away at the growing leaves on the mother plant and carefully nestling them in the earth.
"So you are a keen gardener too–"
I jumped round, pulling out my wand as I did, finding myself nearly poking the wand into Isaac's chest, while he bemusedly raised his hands in a form of surrender.
"I can assure you, Helga, I mean you no ill will."
I blushed, "Sorry," and turned back to my task. Isaac continued watching me, till I glanced up at him and he gave a soft smile.
"If you want to see Rowena, she is probably in the library or else her study. Sometimes she walks in the grounds for inspiration."
"She lent me a book from the library on construction charm work, we seek to make the building of Hogsmeade as easy as possible, but I confess I had hoped to see you."

He drew closer to me and out of fear I shifted away from him, continuing with my work. If Salazar could tell by my uneasy silences of Rowena's plans and Isaac's caring nature, then anything I did could be inferred by him to mean something else.
"Well I'm busy right now, perhaps you should just go up to see Rowena." I kept my eyes trained on the tray in front of me, filled with near rows of plotted plants.
"Helga?"
"Yes?"
"What's wrong?"
I glanced up. Isaac looked worried, only his look was of genuine concern. I felt he wouldn't be satisfied until he knew the real reason. My hands trembled slightly on the tray, if Salazar knew I'd been talking to Isaac or, if I told Isaac who then told Godric or Rowena or even worse, confronted Salazar himself; Salazar would be furious with me. I felt sick just thinking about what he could do to me.
"Helga, are you well? You're very pale." Isaac tenderly took my elbow in his hand, but a wave of bile burn my throat and I pulled away from him quickly, only making it to the bucket where we threw away pods that had sprouted or rotting leaves, and I emptied the contents of my stomach.

I was only vaguely aware of a strong, tanned arm around my waist, supporting me as I retched into the bucket and another firm hand holding back my hair, so it did not spill over my shoulder and into the mess I had made. His gentle voice kept murmuring behind my ear words of encouragement.
"I'm sorry." I gasped, once I was sure no more bile was creeping up my throat.
"Don't be. Do you think you are all right to walk?" he asked.
I nodded, my mouth still tasting sour.
"Come with me then, I'll take to you the healer, if you have one here."
"I'm the healer." I said miserably and Isaac smiled at me.
"Well, then we shall go to Rowena. I'm sure she'll have something sensible to suggest and if not, bed, water and a little gruel later on if you can manage it." He raised his hand to my brow and I flinched as he put his warm hand on my forehead, but I knew it would be ridiculous to move away.
"You've no temperature, so it is not a fever, thank God."

He put his arm under my armpit and lifted me up from the stool I had sat upon. I struggled from his grasp.
"I can walk alone." I said.
"Oh…"
I hated the look of hurt on his face, he had only been kind to me and had done nothing wrong; but I feared Salazar would hurt him if he saw us together, no matter what excuse we had. I managed to get out of the greenhouse, Isaac closely following me, his eyes remaining fixed as I clung to the bench for support. Once I reached the doorway I took several deep breathes of air and then stepped out. My legs shook badly and I half ran, half fell towards a large boulder in the gardens. Isaac caught me by my hand before I slipped up on the grass and urged me to sit on the flat rock.
"I'm not letting you walk alone. Helga, this isn't a sign of weakness. I know any other day you could do this, just let me help you."
I shook my head, "No, I'll be fine. I just need a moment."
"How many moments do you need before we get to the castle?"
I glanced up at the walk, the path looked nauseatingly long and stretched up a steep hill.
"I'll be fine."
"Look, I won't…" Isaac looked downwards, smiled and shook his head, before looking back up at me so I could see his honest, brown eyes, "I won't do anything untoward. I'll just carry you up to the castle, I'm strong enough and it will make the journey quicker."
"What about the students?"
"They will learn the value of realising everyone is human and even their own teachers are prone to illnesses."
"I don't want to be sick on you."
"This is an old jerkin and hopefully, if we're quick enough, I can just throw you at the nearest bushes." Isaac grinned at the joke. I felt a weak smile come to my lips and before I knew it, Isaac had swept an arm under my legs and wrapped another round my back. He lifted me up and proceeded to take long strides towards the castle.

"I hadn't given my permission." I exclaimed.
"To which, I am heartily sorry. But it was a choice between watching you struggle up that hill and me carrying you, and I'd rather do the latter."
"Isaac, please, put me down."
"Helga, I'm only…"
"Isaac, please." I whimpered and when we reached the top, he gently put me back on the earth, but held onto my wrist so as not to let me go.
"Helga? What is it? You were fine yesterday."
"Please, just let me be." I begged.
"Just tell me what's wrong, you're not just unwell." Isaac took my face between his hand and for a strange moment, that had my stomach rapidly sinking in fear and my heart swelling with delight, I thought he was going to kiss me, "You're scared, you're scared of something. Helga, what is it? I won't tell anyone else if you swear me to secrecy, but I don't like seeing you like this."
"Isaac, don't. I just want…"

"Helga?" A cold voice sent shivers of dread down my spine. I reluctantly turned my gaze towards Salazar as he walked from the entrance hall and came towards us both. His sneering expression took in Isaac's hands now falling from my face and my own look of panic.
"Helga, is this man troubling you?" Salazar hissed, I could almost hear his voice slipping into parseltongue as he came to my side.
"No." I cried, "Isaac was just helping me, I fell ill in the greenhouses and he brought me up here."
"How very thoughtful," Salazar smiled, but his cool smirk was only a parody of a thoughtful friend, "Your work here is done, I thank you for bringing Helga back to us safely. You may go."
Isaac squared his shoulders a little and though he was a little shorter than Salazar he did not look at all intimidated by the man.
"I have a book to return to Lady Rowena of Ravenclaw and I would like to see Mistress Helga receive some help with her sickness."
"She is with a potions master, what more help could she wish for?" Salazar said. He grabbed the book from Isaac's grasp, "You may go."
"Forgive me, sir. I will only be told to leave by the Lady Rowena, herself, there are several matters I wish to discuss with her that I have found in the book." Isaac put his hand out towards the book, waiting for Salazar to place it back in his hand, which he finally, grudgingly did. Salazar gestured with his head for Isaac to leave, his hand tightened under my arm and pinched the flesh through my sleeve. Isaac pulled his cloak firmly round his shoulders and brought the book close to his chest, but he seemed unwilling to leave and his gaze remained on my face, even after he began walking up to the entrance hall. Once he was gone, Salazar pulled me through the entrance hall, we turned away from the main staircase, down a flight of stairs, heading towards the dungeons. Salazar pushed me into a small alcove and I felt my heart hammering away in my chest, as though it was a desperate bird battering at a cage with its wings. He let me go and I clung onto the wall for dear life, scared of what he would do next.

"I was almost going to forgive you for what you did." His voice came from the shadows and I felt my answering gasp.
"Forgive me?" I whispered, my throat sounding sore and rough, a faint taste of bile still lingering in my mouth.
"Yes, for hurting me in that way." His hand found my face and soothingly stroked down the skin, he came nearer towards me, his face so close to mine I could feel his breath on my lips. "How could you hurt me like that, Helga?"
"I didn't." I said, "I didn't do anything with him. I promise you, Salazar, we didn't kiss or have sex or anything, I swear it."
His cold finger continued to brush down my cheek and I bit tightly onto my lip to stop me from crying. He waits and eventually I have to take a breath, but I pull it into my lungs in a deep sob.
"I'm sorry." I whisper and he pulls me into his arms, while tears fall from my eyes, because I still know it's not my fault and I never should have had that done to me. I didn't deserve it, but I'm so scared of him. His hands gently wipe away my tears and he presses kisses to my forehead and cheeks. He cups my chin between his hands and lifts it to his face.

"See, you just needed to learn, my love." He kisses my mouth, but the kiss is almost too strong and too much. I push him away.
"I'm scared I'll be sick in your mouth." I said and Salazar gave his mocking smile, giving me a light kiss on my lips and then drawing back. He keeps my hand in his.
"Come then, let me put you to bed and comfort you. But know this, Helga, I want you to avoid that man you were with as much as you can. Is that understood?"
I nod, just wanting to go back to my bedroom and sleep for a hundred years.
"Good girl." he says, putting an arm round my shoulders and walking me down the corridor. I lean heavily into him and let his strength support me. He feels different from Isaac, Salazar is leaner and the cloth of his jerkin is finely cut with sharp, bright buttons that dig into my back. I remember the smell of Isaac, the soft leather of his jerkin and the warm smile he wore at his lips. I desire nothing more than to run to him, but I knew I couldn't do that. I was protecting him, but it hurt knowing I couldn't see him anymore.

A/N: Waaaaaaaaah! What have I done to Salazar, he's such a dick now? :'( I'm so sorry. Thanks to my reviewers Zeesmuse (hussah for Manna!), Ashaacorn and my new one Draco lover (dickish you say? More than just a little, I fear)! But thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing and way-hey I managed to write this early and get it posted! Whoop!