"Why didn't you tell me, Helga?" Rowena said again. We were sat in her solar, the ceiling painted to look like the midnight sky, stars swirling in the inky darkness; while bright sunshine shone through the windows. It made me feel strange, seeing the warm light through the arching windows contradict with the dark hangings and ceiling. But I felt safe here, with our cloaks around our shoulders and cuddled next to one another for comfort. I rubbed my eyes fiercely and Rowena gently took my hand away from my eyes, slipping her hand into her pocket and drawing out a handkerchief for me.
"Thank you, Rowena." I wiped my eyes and then fiddled with a corner of the handkerchief, "I don't know why, I don't know why I didn't tell you. I'm sorry." "Shh, no, don't be. You have nothing to be sorry about. Salazar will be lucky if Godric gives him back his wand." The room felt colder somehow and I shivered, Rowena wrapped her arm comfortingly around me.
"Does Godric have to give him back his wand?" I asked.
"If he didn't Salazar would only find another one. His is fortunate Godric is so noble, were I down there I would not think twice of hurting Salazar or worse." I put my hand in hers and she squeezed it tightly.
"I am scared, Ro." Her hand tightened around mine and she lifted a hand to her eyes, shifting her face away from me. "Ro?" I asked.
"I never wanted to see you hurt, you have always been so kind to me, no matter what we've been through. To know he hurt you and frightened you…I will never forgive him. If he dares to put one foot on this ground, I will hunt him down and kill him."
"Rowena?" She turned her head, he eyes blazing with anger and unshed tears. "I loved him once." I said, and I felt even worse as the tears slipped down her cheeks.
"He's not deserving of your love. You have so much love and affection to give, Helga. You deserve a better man than that."
I sigh and rest my head on her shoulder, "What do we tell the students?" I ask.
"That we were betrayed, Salazar hurt and betrayed us all. There is no need to speak of what he did to you, but he hurt innocents, believed in the superiority of wizard-borns and not their muggle brethren. That this school has no place for hatred and intolerance; that all gifted wizards and witches must come here and learn, to use and control their powers."
I nod, Rowena's inner strength and reliance on her wisdom shimmers on every word she speaks. I still feel numb and strange, as though I can't quite believe he is gone and how much I feel like laughing and crying. I am free, I think, this is what freedom is.
"So is Alys getting married at all?" Rowena questions. I blush and she smiles softly at me, wrapping her arm around me tighter.
"I'm sorry I lied." I say, but she shakes her head. "Forget it. For now, you go see to Isaac. I will go to my house to calm them. Then you go to yours, once Godric has returned he can go to his and we will all go to Slytherin's together. We shall meet in the Great Hall before going to Slytherin's."
I get up and securing my cloak around me, then turn back to her, "Make sure Hector is alright, please."
Rowena nods, "Of course, do you want me to send him up to you later?"
"That would be kind of you." I said.
Isaac sits in the kitchen, with a cup of ale and some bread, he rises when he sees me.
"Please, sit." I say and he sits back down, putting the cup on the table and taking my hand in his when I sit opposite him.
"Thank you for being so kind to me, Helga. You must tell me if there's something I can do in return." I shake my head, finding it impossible to look up into his eyes. I bite my cheek fiercely.
"He meant that spell." Isaac mutters, almost amused, stretching out his back. Through my lashes I see him wince with discomfort.
"I'm sorry." I say again.
Isaac cups my chin and forces my gaze up, "Nonsense, you have nothing to be sorry about."
"So says everyone."
"Because they speak truthfully, stop apologising for that bastard." Isaac says and now my eyes look up in shock of his language. I see his smile, "I'm not exactly going to be on friendly terms with someone who uses the Cruciatus curse against me."
"You should not have interfered." I say, looking away from him again, I don't want to see the hurt in his eyes. I know what I've said isn't kind, but I'm so tired of all of this. He sits in silence for a few moment then takes my hand in his.
"You don't mean that." he says. I pull away my hand and get up in frustration. "You just don't want anyone else to be hurt and–"
"I wish people would stop telling me what I'm thinking or feeling. I know what I think and feel, Isaac." I exclaim, turning back round to face him.
"I'm not denying that, I just think it's strange–"
"You are no better than Salazar, nor anyone else who tells me how I should think or seem surprised when I do have my own thoughts and feelings." That silences him and he nods, then gets up and puts down his cup.
"I'm sorry, Helga." He gently takes my hand in his and though I stiffen a little, he raises it to his lips and kisses it softly. "I am going to head back down to Hogsmede and ensure everyone is safe from Salazar's rage. Take care of yourself. I'll come back to Hogwarts in the evening and speak to Godric."
He drops my hand and I feel unsatisfied when he does, when he moves past me towards the door.
"Thank you for what you did today. I didn't mean to sound cruel, I just…" I say quickly, I don't want him to leave and yet I want to be alone…just for a little while. He turns and smiles gently.
"I understand." Isaac says and strangely I think he does.
"Good." I say and Isaac smiles at me.
"Be brave." He takes me hand again and quickly kisses it. I have too little time to register what he did and then see him turn away. The kitchen is silent, when he is gone. The pans gleam in the firelight and I watch as a brush scrubs away at the plates in the sink. My magic. I touch my wand in my pocket, feeling that same little spark of bright energy that always ran down my arm as soon as I had picked it up.
I am sitting in my office when Hector and Gwenith ran in.
"Mistress Hufflepuff, what happened?" Hector says, running to my side. Gwenith hugs me tightly.
"What's going on, why was that Slytherin girl so horrid to you?" Gwenith asks.
"It's all very complicated." I said, even though I knew it was very simple, "Lord Slytherin could no longer accept we had both wizard-born folk and those who came from muggle parents. He attacked Lord Gryffindor because it was he who fought most strongly for muggle-borns to be protected, and to be taught magic."
"But that's been going on for ages, why has he left now?" Hector asked.
"It's just all…sort of boiled over." The lie felt bitter on my tongue, it was only a half-truth admittedly. But Godric had decided that the true story would be too messy for Hogwarts to survive it. If we could survive at all. I felt certain knowing what the students had witnessed and now we had been divided, that Hogwarts would only survive for a few more years. But that purely relied on whether we worked properly together or no, perhaps we could work and live as we had once dreamed. There was a slim chance that Hogwarts would endure, very slim, but I would fight for it.
"You mustn't tell your classmates anything just yet, Lord Gryffindor is going to make a speech at dinner." I said and they both nodded.
"You are safe now?" Hector asked and I nodded, "We are all safe?"
I hugged them both tightly, "Yes, we're all safe."
But I wasn't sure if that was true or a lie either.
Later we sit in the darkness of our old dining room. Rowena sent an owl down to the village, to warn them against Salazar. And now we all sit, the darkness pitch black outside the windows, the fire burning low in the fireplace. No one seems interested in relighting it. Godric stares moodily into the glowing embers. Rowena sits at my side, her head on my shoulder, and a book of poetry in her hands. But she has not turned the page for a good half an hour. I don't even…I can't even think, I listen to Ro's steady breath and watch Godric's unblinking eyes. I jolt when a log in the fire cracks and shift Rowena's head. She blinks slowly and then closes her book.
"We should all go to bed." she says. Godric merely grunts. "Godric?" Rowena says firmly.
"It's over, isn't it?" he asks.
"Nonsense." She says.
"Then what are we meant to do? Salazar is gone. The school was based on four founders, not three."
I bite my lip hard, staring down at my hands and trying to stop them from shaking. Godric sighs and approaches me, his warm hands holding my shoulders. "Sorry, Helga. Forgive me. This has been a hard day, but you have suffered most and I am heartily sorry for that. Should he ever step foot in here again, I will duel him to the death."
"Please," I mutter, looking up, "I don't want anyone to be hurt."
Godric smiles sadly and pulls me close, holding me tightly in a brotherly embrace. He gives a soft chuckle.
"Sometimes, I think you are the bravest amongst us Helga."
Rowena steps behind me and hugs me, Godric's arm going around her waist and pulling us all together. He kisses her forehead softly, but she is either too tired to care or too tired to notice.
"We will discuss this matter further tomorrow, but continue classes as normal." Rowena says.
"What about Salazar's?" Godric asks?
"I already have their lesson plans, we will split the students amongst our classes. The older students can benefit from studying alone. We will forbid the use of the owlery, until we have sent out a proper explanation to parents. Helga, if Isaac is well, can he assist us with that?"
I nod, "I am sure he will be by tomorrow."
"Good, Hengist will be with us on the morrow as well, to help us. As I'm sure most of Hogsmeade will be more than happy to. We will also need to consider employing new teachers now, it is futile to try and run Hogwarts by ourselves."
"Is there any point in keeping Hogwarts open to –" Godric begins, but Rowena turns on him sharply.
"I will not see all of this turn to ash, Godric Gryffindor. Where is your bravery? This may be a first blow of many, but we cannot let it defeat us. Salazar has won that way. In any case, having more teachers will be a good thing, we are not destined to live forever." She turned on her heel and marched from the room, I was glad Rowena had taken her usual role of leadership, though was a little surprised with Godric's own sense of surrender.
He escorted me to my room and after bidding me goodnight, I ensured my door and windows were locked, that I kept my protection charms secure around my room. I knew I was safe in Hogwarts, but it was for my own comfort. I kept the fire lit, though the curtains were drawn across the windows. When I had finished my securing of the room and readied myself for bed, I lay down under the yellow counterpane and stared up at the ceiling. Then, and only then, I let myself cry. I don't want anyone to see me in my weakness, not even Rowena or Godric. Though I wish now more than ever, Isaac was not sleeping in his bed at the tavern, but comfortingly holding me in mine.
A/N: Sorry for the delay, Uni decided to chuck three assignments at me, all due on the same day next week! So I'm peeing myself slightly. However, the writing bug would not stay quiet, so I had to return. Anyway, hope you enjoy, thanks for reading and reviewing xx