The wind was howling, rattling around the turrets and towers. But we were fortunate to not have rain. It only rained later that night, when I lay awake in my bed, wondering what had become of our dream. We had all been light hearted once, I remember laughing at a jest Godric had made, Salazar had rolled his eyes and Rowena smiled, her eyes still fixed on her book. We had our plans and hopes for our students; Rowena even wished to take a few very studious and gifted students abroad, travelling to Europe, Africa and even the East. This was meant to be a place of safety and comfort, but even now I shivered in my bed. I wanted to go. I wanted my own family and a warm, gentle man in my bed.

I had roasted a joint of beef for dinner; and baked apples with honey and cream when Godric and Rowena returned. Godric ate and drank deeply, but barely said a word. Rowena pushed the pieces of beef and carrot back and forth, turning her bread into crumbs. She looked pale and drawn. No longer the lovely girl of our youth. I went with her to her room, brushing through her long, dark mane of hair, as though that would make any of this better. She got up once we were finished, embraced me, but still did not say a word. She kissed my cheek and I bid her goodnight. I was surprised to find Godric waiting outside her room, but he placed a finger to his lips and beckoned me away.
"Rowena is not taking this well. In many ways she and Salazar understood each other."
I nodded, "I know." All too well I could remember them sitting up most nights, as I dozed off in my chair, discussing spellwork, literature, history and more. Godric liked the fury of a debate, as he did swordplay, but he did not really care for the intellectual side, as Salazar and Rowena had done. I already missed those evenings, though I felt as though I shouldn't.

"It has been a long journey and a longer struggle." Godric muttered.
"You found him?" I asked, the question had buzzed around my mind constantly throughout dinner, but I had no desire to bring it up. Not when Rowena looked so morosely at her food and Godric did not even look at me. Godric stopped walking down the corridor and placed his hand against the wall. In the half flickering light of the candles he too looked old.
"No." he said.
"No?"
"The villages and towns are well aware now of his crimes. They have set up watches and guards. Muggles are being kept hidden and safe. It's the best we could hope for, his father…"
"Godric! This isn't a victory."
He hushed me, looking nervously around and pulling me down the corridor by my elbow. I wrenched my arm away from him.
"I know how you respect his father, he is almost a father to you. But what about innocent muggles, muggle borns and their families? We must protect them." I cried.
"And we will. But Salazar has gone abroad, his followers withered away as soon as he left. I think we are safe."
I stared at Godric, this was not the man I knew. The man who had loudly and proudly proclaimed his house was for the brave and noble of heart, chivalrous, virtuous. It felt as though a cold, ice sharp spike had impaled my gut. None of that really existed. These brave knights didn't exist, anymore than the ones in my books of King Arthur, a favourite of my children.
"Please, Helga, don't look at me like that." he said.
"How can I not? Does not your house declare…?"
"I care not what my house declares or otherwise. I do not want to hear it, Helga. Now where is Myrabella?"
I was so angry I barely heard his question, "You...What?"
"Where is Myrabella and the child?"

I froze in the corridor, my stomach tightened and I felt gooseflesh rise on my arms. Something told me Godric's interest was not entirely protective or kind.
"They will probably be asleep now, why do you need to know?"
"Helga." Godric said warningly and he turned his head to one side slightly, as though lecturing a wilful child. I frowned and bit my lip hard, I did not appreciate that mocking gaze. There was something cold and distant in Godric's eyes.
"Why does it matter? Can it not wait till morning?" I asked.
"No!"
I flinched from him, but stood my ground in the corridor. "Hush, Godric. Rowena is tired. We don't want to wake the baby either."
Godric's hand went to his belt where his wand was held, his eyes were dazed and confused, I saw his mouth tremble. "I will be serving us all a kindness...We can dig up the root, stop it from spreading."
My fears had been confirmed and I felt a bead of cold sweat trickle down my back. I drew my wand and took up a duel pose. I had never been in a duel before, Godric had many times, but again his eyes did not really seem to be taking in what he was seeing. His hand slowly pulled out his wand, but he held it loosely between his fingers.
"You will not hurt that child, Godric. Not while I draw breath."
"It must be done, Helga."
"No!" I cried out in fear, putting one hand out in front of me, though if Godric had wished it he could have easily pushed me aside. "Godric, it is not your decision or duty to kill an innocent. The baby will be different from Salazar, he will be loved and protected. If we help Myrabella he can grow to be healthy and loving, we do not even have to tell him about his father or his inheritance."

Godric paused momentarily and I felt my breathing lessen a little.
"We will move Myrabella far away from here, perhaps we can have a farmer or merchant marry her. A good man. Cadmus need never know of his real father."
Godric looked down to his boots, he stowed his wand away and then brought his hands up to his face. I saw him shudder.
"God forgive me." he muttered.
I took a few hesitant steps forward and then gently clasped his shoulder, "Tell me, you are you. I have never been so afraid in your company."
His eyes were haunted and afeared, but no longer glazed or hazy; he looked up at me and nodded grimly, then grabbed me into a fierce embrace.
"Helga...I am...Forgive me, I beg of you." he said hoarsely, "I don't know what happened. It was as though that's all I wanted, the death of the child." he brought his hand up over his face once more and breathed deeply.

"Come." I took his hand and led him from the corridor, we went down the stairs, heading towards the kitchens. I flicked my wand at the fireplace, flames instantly warming the room. Godric slumped down in a nearby chair, his face was pale and surprisingly his hands shook. I placed the poker in the fire, then poured some spiced ale into a mug. Picking up the poker I put it into the cup, watching the liquid instantly bubble and warm. I put the poker back and handed the cup to Godric. He took a grateful gulp and rested back in the chair, shaking his head slowly.
"I don't know what happened." he said once more.
"I do not think you'd ever do something like that, not willingly. We will have to ask Rowena, but I think that was the Infirmitius curse or something similar."
Godric shook his head, "Nay, it was stronger." He was looking more like himself as each minute passed. I turned to go and see if I could make him a posset with herbs to help him sleep. But he grabbed my hand.
"Helga, there would only be two people aware of Salazar's child, only two could profit from his death."
"No, that cannot be true. Plenty of nobles have children out of wedlock, some are recognised, but most are ignored. What would make Cadmus any different?"
"I don't know...All I know is if I have been placed under a curse that controlled the mind, there would have to be a damn good reason to want an innocent child dead."
"Not even Salazar…"
"Then his father, but God knows Helga had you not stopped me, I would have done it. Salazar or his father could've had me done anything, instead they demand I kill the child."

The flames are dying and I feel cold, right to my very bones. There is only so much we can do for Cadmus and his mother. We must hide him, send him somewhere he can be raised safely and securely. I cannot send him to Wales, that is where Salazar will look first, if it was him who ordered his own son's death. I look to Godric.
"You can make amends, as soon as Cadmus is old enough for travel, we will take him to Gryffindor lands. Salazar or his father will not be so foolhardy as to try to attack someone on your father's lands. Myrabella can work as a housemaid."
A small smile returns to Godric's lips and he nods furiously. "He will be under our protection, I'll ensure there are spells to keep him safe and keep Salazar unaware of his existence there."
"Good." I murmur, "I think I shall go to bed."
"A wise idea. I will finish this and then follow you."

I bow my head and then walk from the kitchen, my footsteps echoing down the hallway and my shadow sinking and rising on the walls. I feel as though a large shadow is following me and I will never escape from its coldness. I shiver and pull my cloak tightly around me. As I climb the stairs from the kitchens and go along to my rooms, I suddenly stop and whirl round. Apart from the flickering torches along the walls, there was no other light, but even as a I stared into the gloom I could not hear or see anything walking behind me. It was as though something or someone had whispered, though there seemed no obvious direction of where it had come from. It was as though the entire castle, stone and wood, had exhaled. A sigh of deep longing and sadness. I pressed my back against the wall and lifted my head up, I hoped Hogwarts could pass through this loss and sadness. I did not want our mistakes to fall onto younger generations to come. Resolutely I decided I would pray for Salazar, I did not want him to return, but I did want him to realise his crimes. On passing Myrabella's room I hesitated, then quietly opened the door.

He slept deeply, one hand raised above his head, curled into a tight fist. The other lay open at his side. Myrabella had shifted when I came into the room, aware of any sounds, but she slept on even when I softly crossed the room. Cadmus lay in the warm cot, a little rabbit moppet tucked close to his side. I gently stroked his dark hair back and smiled at his round cheeks, and the soft lashes resting on them. He sniffed slightly and I drew my hand away, I did not want to wake him.

Outside again I performed a simple charm on the two statues of armour either side her door.
"Guard her and the baby please." Their pikes crossed and I felt more reassured knowing she had protection. But even as I turned away, I once more drew my wand out again and, remembering all the happiness I had with my children, Alys and my home, I gave Myrabella the most powerful protection I could muster.
"Stay here." I told the silvery badger, who took up his post with the other guards.

A/N: Thank you for being lovely and patient. In case some of you, I'm sure I've given this excuse dozen of times (!), I am a third year Uni student, so this is my last year and it's craaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzily busy. Not only having to do all my essays, research, creative work, competitions, sending scripts off, working in a tearoom/working at the Uni, but I'm also organising an entire performance poetry/contemporary dance event...So sadly, fanfiction is taking a backseat. Anyway, on seeing sherriberri's very sweet review, I felt awful. I wanted to get back to writing this for ages, but I had to wait for a lull. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and I will try to write more soon.