"I can't go." Rowena said, "Maxence has ordered me home. He says I need to rest." She scowled and rolled her eyes.
"For once I agree with your husband." Godric murmured and then cowered when Rowena gave him a look that could've curdled milk.
"He just means well for you, Ro. You've worked so hard these past months, both with the school and with Salazar." I said, soothing Rowena's ruffled feathers.
"He was with me, when we fought Salazar's little friends. I don't see my husband insisting he now rests."
"Maxence is at home already." I pointed out, though probably much to Rowena's chagrin.
"I doubt he's resting." she snapped.
"He probably just wants to see you, and for you to spend time with Helena. Fearsome events like these always draw families together."
It was so slight I could've easily missed it, but Godric's quick glance at Rowena was all I needed to know. For all his dalliances and flirting with kitchen maids, pretty whores, ladies from various courts, witches and muggles alike, Godric had always loved her. He admired and respected her. But though I wasn't meant to know, I think we all had realised that even if the idea of marriage had been possible it wouldn't work. I was unsure why. There was love, respect, trust, laughter, but something told me by the end of it Godric and Rowena wouldn't be happy.
"Well you go then." Rowena flicked her embroidery at Godric, "It's your land, after all."
"It is my father's land." Godric said.
"Oh does it matter?" Rowena sighed impatiently.
"Godric shouldn't go either." I said.
"Why not?" Rowena asked. She was tapping her finger against the desk, a sure sign she was becoming more irritated by the second.
"He's too easily recognised. Most of the villagers know him, the news would spread too quickly."
"Why does that matter?"
"If Salazar or his father hears Godric has left Hogwarts, with a young woman in tow, they will suspect something." I said.
"They'll just think it's you." Godric said.
"With a baby?"
"Um...ah."
"Well, what exactly are you suggesting, Helga?" Godric asked.
"Someone else needs to go with Myrabella. Preferably not one of us, we don't want anyone recognising us or realising who Myrabella is."
"Why doesn't Isaac go then?" Rowena said, she seemed irritable and tired. I bit my lower lip and worried it. There was no reason for Isaac not to go, as long as he was agreeable, but I didn't want him to go. I didn't want him to face Salazar alone and the gods knew there would be no messy if Isaac lost his duel.
"Isaac is too busy with the tavern. I will go instead."
Rowena sighed, "I thought you said none of us should go."
"I said it was risky for any of us to go, but if I pull out one of my older dresses and cloaks I could pass for Myrabella's sister."
"I do not like the idea of you facing Salazar alone, should it come to that." Godric said.
I fiddled with the napkin in my lap and dared not look up, "I think I would be the only person he would not willingly kill."
I heard Rowena clear her throat lightly and Godric pick up the goblet by his plate. He drank heavily from it and out of the corner of my eye I saw Rowena clean and inspect her nails. Godric frowned into the cup of amber liquid, as though deep down at the bottom he could see Salazar taunting him. I finally raised my head, Rowena did not even look at me, Godric gave me a cautious and quick smile, but it vanished rapidly when Rowena looked straight at him.
"We cannot take that risk." Rowena said.
"And yet you would willingly risk my future husband's life instead?" I snap, surprising them and even myself with my defensiveness, before realising I had let it slip that Isaac and I would marry one another. Rowena's eyes went from narrowed with irritation, to round with surprise in a matter of seconds. She clasped her hands together and gasped. I sighed and smiled sheepishly at her.
"Oh Helga! You rotten beast, you didn't tell me. When did this happen?"
"Before we left for Lincolnshire, he asked me then." I murmured and even Godric smiled at seeing Rowena's excitement.
"Oh goodness, I knew this was going to happen! But wait, he asked you then...You didn't tell me!" Rowena said, both delighted and furious at my lack of information for her.
"We had more pressing matters then, I would've told you once we returned, but I was concerned with Myrabella."
"Speaking of which," Godric chuckled, "Though I am glad for you, Helga. Isaac is a good man. We should return to the topic at hand."
"Thank you, Godric."
"I don't like the idea of you travelling alone, with only Myrabella and the child for company, but perhaps it is for the best. We will spread a rumour that Myrabella is travelling with Rowena to her lands, lure any potential threats off."
I nod, "Just make sure you're safe and aren't hurt." I say to Rowena.
"Same to you." she said.
It was settled and decided upon, now all I had to do was tell Myrabella to prepare herself for the journey and warn Isaac. I knew I hoped in vain that he would not give me his pained smile and tell me he would prefer it if I didn't go, or beg for him to go in my stead. It might be safer for him, than I, but I would not risk him being hurt. A brief thought had come to mind, that I could avoid telling him altogether, but I knew almost at once that would not be possible. And if I did Isaac would be more likely to pursue me and put himself in danger. I knew Isaac would not take it as a personal affront that I was asking once more for our wedding to be delayed again, but I still felt disappointed. I wished to be married as soon as possible. I didn't want to be alone in my bed any longer and I wanted more than our walks, and the occasional time spent in the kitchens or gardens together. I wanted his kisses in the morning, and his gentle embrace in the afternoon, and to make love to me throughout the night.
"Let me go in your stead." he pleaded.
I almost smiled, "I knew you would ask that."
"Well of course I would." Isaac for once scowled and stopped walking beside me. He glowered at the lake, crossing his arms over his chest and clenching his jaw tightly. I gently placed my hand on his arm and saw his shoulders relax a little.
"I have to go. Godric and Rowena are too well known in those parts, and they behave with too much...they are too…" I frowned, trying to think of a suitable word, and coming up with none.
"You can tell they are from a noble family." Isaac suggested.
"Yes, exactly. I can pass by unseen."
"Then let me go as your husband." he said.
"No. If Salazar did come after us he would think nothing of hurting you and Myrabella."
"And why wouldn't he hurt you?" Isaac snapped. He left my side and marched forwards, I quickly picked up my skirts and followed after him, but had to stop when he whirled around and nearly crashed into him. "Why do you always believe he would hold any sympathy for you? He beat you Helga, he nearly raped you!" I heard his voice quaver slightly, "Do you think he loves you still?"
I took a deep breath and felt my hands shaking, "I don't know, Isaac. I don't think he ever loved me, I don't think Salazar knows what love is."
"Then why believe he would hold any regard for you?"
I'd never seen Isaac angry, but his warm eyes were dark and he quickly ran his hand through his hair.
"Because I don't know how Hogwarts will last otherwise. I've got to believe it's possible for things to return to how they once were."
Isaac studied me intently, then looked down and shook his head, when he brought his head back up his eyes were full of pity. "Helga, things cannot return to what they once were like. Could you bear it? To see that man walk in the same corridors as you? To hear his voice on stairways? Do you want a man who abused you, his friends and his students back in Hogwarts again?"
I looked away from his eyes, hating him and myself. I dug my nails into my hands, trying desperately to keep my tears at bay.
"How can I help it? We had so many happy and joyful moments, we made this school together, it was meant to be something we worked for and lived for till the end of our days."
"But it cannot be that way any longer!"
I couldn't say anything. I felt a painful knot tightly constrict my throat, till I knew I would not be able to force one word out without sobbing. I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and I looked up. Isaac looked down at me, chewing his lower lip as he was wont to do when thinking deeply about something.
"So our wedding will be put off again?" he asked finally.
"Yes." I said, quickly so my tears wouldn't spill down my cheeks.
He sighed deeply and gently stroked my arm, "You must understand my concern…"
"I do, I understand completely…"
"No, I'm talking about our marriage. You are your own person, if this is what you wish to do, then you will do it anyway. And I want to bid you farewell properly."
"Then what are you…?"
"You're not ready, Helga. Part of me fears you never will be."
"Ready?" I asked, my brow furrowing. I gripped his rough jerkin under my fingers.
"I don't think you're ready for marriage or me."
"What do you mean?"
"I want you to come to my door and tell me you are ready, I don't want Salazar Slytherin haunting us or being part of our marriage. Go with Myrabella, but when you come back either knock on my door or let me go. I cannot keep doing this, Helga. I love you. I want you for my wife."
"And I want you for my husband! I want to be married." I grabbed his shoulders and wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in the comforting wool and the smell of ale and heather. I felt his hands softly stroke my back and wrap in my hair. He gently tugged my hair and forced me to look up at him.
"I understand your loyalty to your friends, of course I do, I understand your loyalty to the school. I understand your loyalty to Alys and your children. But I want to be of an even importance to all of that. I want our wedding to be sooner, rather than later. I would wait years for you, but tell me it is for something else, than Salazar."
I nodded and kept my eyes lowered, I couldn't bear to look up at him.
"I love you." he said softly and pulled me into his arms, resting his chin on the top of my head. "Please don't think I do this because I want to stop you making your own choices or going where you please, I just want to be with you when you go somewhere."
I cried then. Bitter, hopeless, foolish tears, that made me both angry and hurt. Despite the clammering inside my head, I knew he was right, I couldn't keep him waiting. It wasn't fair on either one of us. If our positions were reversed and I was with a man, who would travel across the country at the drop of a hat, how would I know he was true to me? How long could I keep waiting and putting off our marriage by one week, then two, then three?
He kissed away my tears, cupping my face in his hands, his face creased with lines and anguish. It made me feel worse. I knew he loved me. I didn't realise how much.
"Come to the castle tonight," I said.
"Do you think that is wise?"
"I think it is very wise," I felt my cheeks flush and tried to keep my eyes locked on his, "I want you there."
He smiled softly, though there was something sad about it, "Then I will join you later for dinner, my lady."
He kissed my hand again, and then I watched him walk down the path towards Hogsmeade. I needed to make the right decision. I could not afford to lose a man like him, but equally I could not keep playing with his heart. I turned to go up the hill and get back to Hogwarts.
A/N: Sorry for the ridiculous delay. Adulthood hit me like a tonne of bricks! So I've been busy writing an original novel, finding a job and harassing the letting agent for not having our house in decent order. I'm back to writing again, so will hopefully have a chapter up sooner rather than later.