Naruto: A Fractious Fairy Tale
A Story By
Scrye9548
Author's Note: Here's the first chapter of the Naruto/Fairy Tales Crossover I wrote about previously.
If you enjoy this, I recommend checking out Mumei Mu's story, "Naruto Stop Ruining Fairy Tales!"
If you don't enjoy this story, my suggestion remains; check out Mumei Mu's story.
Page Break: =^.^=
Chapter One
"What's shinobi rule number seven?" A tall, elderly man with waist-length spiky white hair asked the blond teen beside him.
"Never accept payment before knowing what the job is," the blond answered brusquely, his blue eyes focused on the dirt road before them as they neared a small trading town.
The elderly man's eyebrow raised at the blond's tone, "Wake up on the wrong side of the bed, gaki?"
"I'm not a brat, Ero-sennin," the blond muttered, squeezing the straps of his backpack so tight that his peach-colored hands began to flush. "Just waiting for another day of not learning anything new."
The elderly man sighed as he clasped the teen's shoulder, halting him. "Look, Naruto; I get it; you want to learn more jutsu, but you need to master what you have before learning something else."
"And what do I have, Jiraiya?" Naruto asked, shaking off the man's hand as he glared at the man and started holding up his fingers, "I've got Kage Bunshin (Shadow Clones), Rasengan (Spiraling Sphere), and Kuchiyose (Summoning)," Naruto finished, holding up three fingers. "You expect me to just mob everyone I fight with clones and rasengans? Because that's all you've been teaching me for the past three months."
"Hey, we've also been working on your taijutsu (hand-to-hand techniques) and how to break out of genjutsu (illusion techniques)," Jiraiya stated, his black eyes narrowing at his student's tone.
"And those are all things that I could have learned in the village," Naruto retorted, waving away the elderly man's response with his hand. "What are you gonna teach me that I couldn't learn in Konoha? What are you gonna teach me that can help me take down the Akatsuki and bring back Sasuke?"
Jiraiya's back straightened, and his shoulders stiffened. "Watch your tone, brat; don't forget who the sensei is in this situation," he warned before answering, "Once you can use the rasengan without your shadow clones, you can break out of a B-ranked genjutsu, improve your taijutsu, and can summon every toad on command, then we'll work on you harnessing your tenant's chakra."
"…That's it?" Naruto asked, his head bowed. "That's all you're gonna teach me in these three years? Genjutsu, taijutsu, and using the fox's chakra?"
"Brat, if you could learn dispelling genjutsu and proper taijutsu in a year, I'd be impressed," Jiraiya scoffed, then snorted as he amended, "Correction; two years."
"And why is that?" Naruto ground out through his clenched teeth.
"Because you aren't the sharpest tool in the shed," Jiraiya stated, shrugging before he started holding up fingers, "Your taijutsu is crap, worse than most academy students, and your ability to dispel, let alone detect, genjutsu is non-existent, which is worse than academy graduates. I need to teach you skills that you should have learned over six years in the academy in half of the time. Finally, I need to pound some tactical sense into the mush you call a brain."
"Hey! I do have tactical sense!" Naruto snapped, his head jerking upwards, "I tricked Zabuza and took down Neji and Gaara!"
"So you tricked the weakest of the seven swordsmen and took down two other genin, big whoop, want a cookie?" Jiraiya taunted before placing his hands on his hips and looming over Naruto. "The Akatsuki are after you, Naruto and the three you mentioned are pissants compared to them, and so are you because you don't even grasp the basics."
"And how are the basics gonna help me against them?!" Naruto growled, tears stinging his eyes as he shoved Jiraiya away and dashed towards the village, looking like an orange blur to any civilian he passed by.
Jiraiya sighed, replaying the conversation as he watched his teary student enter the town's gates and disappear into the crowds. "That could have gone better," Jiraiya thought as he started walking, following his student, "I should take him out for ramen to apologize, and the brat does have a point; the basics won't help him take down the Akatsuki, though he still needs to learn them." Jiraiya rubbed his chin as he formulated a new training schedule, "Maybe teach him some variations for the shadow clone technique like the Kage Shuriken (Shadow Shuriken) and Bunshin Daibakuha (Shadow Clone Explosion) as rewards for meeting set goals? But those techniques are complex and take months to master, and I want to devote as much time as possible to him learning how to harness the Kyūbi's chakra; it's his greatest equalizer." Jiraiya rubbed his head in frustration, getting odd looks from people passing by. "Gah! I wish there were more of the brat! Then we wouldn't have—this—problem…." Jiraiya's eyes bulged wider than a toad's as an epiphany struck his mind faster than a lightning bolt. "That's it! Why didn't I see it before?! I'll teach the brat the basics while another me teaches hundreds of him everything else!" Jiraiya cackled as he leaped into the air and clacked his red geta sandals together, unaware of the wary looks he was now receiving from passersby.
A now merrier Jiraiya continued into the town after his student, unaware that their last argument was the last time he would see his blond student and, unbeknownst, godson for a while.
=^.^=
Naruto ran into the town, dipping, ducking, and diving between crowds of people, leaving startled shouts and gasps in his wake. The orange-clad blond didn't know where he was going and didn't care; he only wanted to be as far away from Jiraiya as possible. He turned a corner and saw a flash of gray before he felt his head collide with someone's stomach, hearing an "oof" as he went to the ground.
"I'm sorry, I didn't look where I was going," Naruto rapidly apologized as he shot to his feet and offered the person a bow.
"It—happens," the mystery person wheezed before letting out a cough. Their voice sounded androgynous and eerily reminded the blond of Haku. "Could you give us a hand?"
Naruto looked up and was surprised to see a person wearing a gray, hooded robe that covered their body from head to toe and completely shrouded their face in shadows, making it look like they had a black void for a head. Even the person's hands and arms were covered by gray gloves.
"Hello? A little help here?" the person asked, wiggling their outstretched arm. "I know I'm gorgeous, but if you're gonna admire me on my back, at least buy me dinner first."
Naruto blushed, stammering out an apology as he grasped the outstretched hand and helped the person up to their feet, finding the stranger was about as tall as his sensei Kakashi.
"It's alright," the gray-robed person assured, brushing off the apology with a wave. "My name's Mu, by the way, and may I have the name of the person who bowled me over?"
"Uzumaki Naruto," the blond introduced, his whiskered cheeks burning before offering another bow, "And sorry again for knocking you over, Mu-san."
"Jeez, you apologize a lot," Mu said with crossed arms, "I told you, 'It's alright,' meaning one sorry's enough." Observing the boy, noticing the blond's red-rimmed eyes and loose tears. "Hmm, what's wrong? Break up with your girl?" Mu asked, leaning forward and pointing at the boy's face.
"What?" Naruto asked, stepping back, his head tilting before what the stranger said clicked, and the blond quickly buried his head in his sleeve and wiped his eyes. "I wasn't crying."
"Sure you weren't," Mu drawled, pulling back and placing hands on hips while giving the boy an unseen eye roll. "So, what's got you down? Girl troubles?"
"No-" Naruto began to deny, only to be cut off.
"-Boy troubles?"
"What?!" Naruto choked on his spit, his face greening as he remembered who his first kiss was.
"You know, like 'girl troubles,' but if you're homosexual, then it would be 'boy troubles-"
"-I'm not gay!" Naruto shouted, shaking his head as he rid himself of the image.
"Well, of course, you aren't gay. 'Cause if you were gay, then you wouldn't be crying," Mu responded, crossing his arms and nodding sagely.
"I told you I wasn't—" Naruto began, his voice rising before a thought struck him and his face pinched, "—Um, what does not crying have to do with being gay?" the Uzumaki asked.
"Because 'gay' means 'happy,' duh! Did they not teach you that at school?" Mu asked.
"No?" Naruto answered, squinting and frowning as he tried to recall if the academy covered that topic. The blond was unsure because he had skipped many general education days or, as Naruto liked to call them, Iruka's super boring lectures instead of Iruka's boring lectures about shinobi stuff.
"Ack! And thus begins the death of language!" Mu lamented, swooning as he clutched the center of his robes and fell to his knees. "Oh, what misery there will be when words have lost all meaning!"
Naruto snorted as he rolled his eyes. "There are worse things in life than changing words."
"Really? Like what? Like death? Taxes? The thing that made you cry? Splinters?" Mu asked rapidly, shooting to his feet.
"Yes, like-" Naruto began, nodding his head until it jerked to a stop. "What? I told you I wasn't—oh, forget it. Fine, I was crying, happy?" Naruto admitted, crossing his arms and pouting.
"Yes, I'm very gay, thank you very much," Mu responded before flicking the boy's headband, producing a slight 'ting' sound, "Though I still don't know why you aren't. So, what's the matter?"
"It's because I'm on a training trip with my sensei, and for the past three months, he hasn't taught me anything new; the only things he's teaching me are new ways to use my current jutsu, how to dispel illusions, how to fight with my fists better, and what he calls the 'Shinobi Rules.' And none of this stuff will help me fight the Akatsuki and bring back Sasuke," Naruto explained, feeling somewhat better after airing out his frustrations.
"Are you sure? Maybe one of those rules might save your life one day. How about you lay one on me so I can see what you're working with," Mu requested, urging the blond with a wave.
Naruto shrugged and stated, "Shinobi rule number seven: Never accept payment before knowing what the job is."
"Well, that sounds like sound advice. In fact, it sounds similar to something my father told my brothers and me: never accept anything without knowing the cost," Mu said, rubbing his chin, though, to Naruto, it looked like his hand had disappeared into an empty, black void.
"I suppose," Naruto said, toeing the dirt with his blue sandal. "Though I still want to learn some new jutsu or maybe pick up a weapon."
"Learning new things is fun," Mu hummed before removing his hand and snapping his fingers. "Thankfully, our store can supply anything you need for the right price."
"Your store?" Naruto asked, tilting his head. "You're a merchant?"
"A peddler," Mu corrected, and Naruto swore he could hear the grin on his… face? "We set our caravan up outside the western gates. Would you like to see our wares?"
Naruto thought about it for a moment before nodding.
"Excellent!" Mu cheered, pumping his fist into the air. "I assure you, you won't be disappointed." Mu then led the shinobi through the crowds, the blond not noticing how the people around him were unaware of his or the peddler's presence.
A few minutes later, Naruto and Mu exited the western gates, and the blond's eyes widened, jaw-dropping at the sight of Mu's caravan; it was a large box car painted an eye-watering, kaleidoscope of colors with one of the longer walls lowered to the ground to act as a sort of ramp. Though the exterior wasn't what surprised Naruto but the interior; the insides were divided into three sections by quarter walls, and each section was overflowing with goods; the first section was devoted to weapons and, what Naruto assumed, jutsu scrolls; the second section was devoted to jewels, art pieces, and gold, lots of gold; the final section was devoted to flowers, clothing, and paintings of loving couples and families.
"Yo, I'm back! And I've brought a customer!" Mu yelled. His action broke the blond out of his shock as he followed his gray-robed guide up the ramp and into the box car.
"A customer?" a voice asked, one that sounded eerily similar to Mu's. It came from behind a statue of a man sitting on a rock and resting his chin on his fist. "It's been a while since we've had one." The voice grew louder as a person wearing clothing similar to Mu's, but in gold, stepped from behind the statue; his face also looked like a black void. "Nice to meet you; I'm Mei," Mei introduced, holding out his hand.
"Nice to meet you; I'm Uzumaki Naruto," Naruto responded before looking at the hand. "Um, what are you doing?"
"A handshake," Mei stated, sounding confused as he waggled the appendage.
"Mei, how many times do I have to tell you; they rarely shake hands here, and only for important business deals," a third voice, which again sounded like Mu's and Mei's, sounded from behind the blond.
Surprised, the blond spun on his heel and found a third man dressed in similar clothing to the other two and the same faceless void, but his clothes were red. The red-robed man offered the blond a bow, "Forgive my brother. He's still trying to get used to the customs here. My name's Mu."
"It's alright," Naruto assured, scratching the back of his head, "Um, you said your name was 'Mu?"
The red-robed man released a noise that sounded like a mixture between a deep sigh and a groan as his shoulders slumped, "Yes, my name's Mu. We three were named after our father, specifically, part of his name—" the red-robed man raised his hand and started pointing, "Mu, over there, is the eldest; Mei, is the second eldest; and I am the youngest." Finished, the younger Mu dropped his hand.
"So your father's name is 'Mumeimu?" Naruto asked, trying to make sense of the weird-sounding name.
"There's a space between 'mei' and the second 'mu,' making it 'Mumei Mu," Mei corrected.
"Ok…no offense, but your dad's name sounds weird," Naruto bluntly stated, getting shrugs from the three brothers.
"Meh, he likes it, so what are you gonna do?" the elder Mu asked before turning to his brothers. "As I was saying, before we got sidetracked, we got ourselves a customer," Mu patted Naruto's shoulder. "Naruto here wants to get some new jutsu and maybe a weapon, but who knows? Maybe he'll see something else he likes. You know the drill."
Excited, the other two brothers leaped before their wares and stood, waiting.
"Come on," the elder Mu said, steering the blond towards the section devoted to weapons and scrolls. "You'll browse my section first, but you must promise not to leave until you visit all three sections."
"Alright," Naruto said, shrugging, not seeing the big deal as he walked into the elder brother's section. His eyes became the size of dinner plates as they tried to consume everything before him; there were barrels stuffed to the brim with swords, countless mannequins bearing armors from familiar samurai make to others that he had never seen before, shuriken and daggers behind glass cases, maces hung on racks, spears, and halberds leaning against the back wall, and tables stacked with scrolls."Wow," Naruto gasped as he walked around the weaponry.
"I know, right?" the elder Mu stated, resting his hands on his hips. "No one in this world has a finer stock of weapons than me."
"I believe it," Naruto stated as he plucked a sword with a weird, 'u' shaped crossguard and a long grip from a nearby barrel, drawing it from its sheath. "Whoah," Naruto uttered, finding the sword longer and heavier than he anticipated as he pulled the blade free and held it up. "What kind of sword is this?" he asked, examining the sword, having never seen a double-edged sword that tapered into a point.
"Bastard," the elder Mu stated, an unseen grin on his face.
"The hell you'd call me?!" Naruto yelled, his grip tightening on the sword as he glared at the gray-robed man.
"Not you, the sword," the gray-robed man pointed at the blade, "That sword's a hand-and-a-half sword, most commonly referred to as a 'bastard sword.' A 'bastard' sword because it can be used with either one or two hands. Though swords like those are usually most effective when paired with a shield."
"A shield? No thanks," Naruto stated, "I'm a shinobi, so I need a weapon that I can bring out and store quickly."
"A weapon that you can bring out and store quickly?" the elder Mu mused, rubbing his chin. "I might have something that fits that bill; do you have a preference?"
"Um, something that has reach and I can react fast with; it also has to be strong enough to survive heavy blows," Naruto responded.
"Hmm, I think I have an idea. Why don't you look at the scrolls while I look for it?" the gray-robed man asked, not waiting for a response before striding over to one of the display cases, bending down behind it, and disappearing.
"Alright," Naruto said, walking over to the scrolls and picking a random one from the pile. He opened the scroll and found it was for a jutsu called Fūton: Shinkūha (Wind Release: Vacuum Wave). "This could be interesting, though it says I need a strong wind affinity. The hell does that mean?" he asked, scratching his head and placing it back on the pile as he picked another random scroll and opened it. "Fūinjutsu and Jutsu-Shiki: A Treatise.' I know what fūinjutsu is, but what the hell are jutsu-shiki," the blond muttered.
"Jutsu-shiki or technique formulas, are the use of a kanji in a specific pattern to achieve some sort of effect, whether that be creating a barrier, an exploding tag, or even controlling time and space," the Elder Mu explained from behind Naruto, surprising the blond.
"Gah!" Naruto shouted, throwing his hands in the air and sending the scroll flying. He turned and glared at the gray-robed man, "What the hell?! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?! Don't sneak up on me!"
"Aren't you supposed to be a shinobi?" the elder Mu snickered as he held up a small, black needle pinched between his fingers. "Got your weapon."
Naruto blankly stared at the gray-robed man. "…That's a needle."
"Again, aren't you supposed to be a shinobi? When are things ever as they seem?" the Elder Mu chided, wagging his finger. "Now, stick out your hand."
Skeptically, Naruto stuck out his right hand, letting the eldest brother place the needle upon it. As soon as Mu let go, Naruto's eyes widened, and he yelped as his hand plummeted to the floor, bringing him along with it. "Argh!" Naruto shouted as he tried to drag his hand from underneath the needle. "What the hell is this thing?! It feels like it weighs a ton!"
"Not a ton. If it were a ton, then your hand would be pulverized, and your arm would have snapped," the Elder Mu stated, the smile evident in his voice.
"I don't care! Just get it off of me!" Naruto roared as he grabbed his right wrist with his left hand and tried lifting his pinned appendage.
"Have you tried asking it to weigh less?" Mu asked, sounding like that was the obvious answer as he tilted his head.
"Weigh less!" Naruto commanded as he pulled back with all his might, surprised when the needle suddenly felt as light as a feather. Unfortunately for the blond teen, his momentum sent him tumbling backward and straight into the armored leg of a mannequin, head first.
The eldest brother winced as he plucked the flying needle out of the air with the ease of picking a grape off the vine as he watched the groaning blond. "Sorry."
After Naruto recovered, he stood in front of Mu and threw wary glances at the needle. "So, is that all the needle does, get heavier and lighter?"
"Who said this was a needle?" Mu asked, waving the tiny object. "Grow," Mu commanded, and Naruto watched in amazement as the 'needle' grew into a six-foot-long staff made of black iron that was as thick as a rice bowl and banded with golden rings. The butt of the staff hit the floorboards with a resounding thud. "This guy is called Ruyi Jingu Bang, and he's quite the compliant one, shrinking and growing according to his master's whims as well as controlling its weight and making copies of itself," Mu explained before holding out the staff to Naruto.
"Wow," Naruto gasped as he took the weapon, feeling a power thrumming through the shaft as he held it. The blond imagined what he could do with a weapon like this; he could see himself defeating the Akatsuki and bringing Sasuke back home with this weapon slung across his shoulders. He was a second from screaming out, "I'll take it," when he recalled Jiraiya's advice about not accepting something without knowing what the job was. In this case, the 'job' was the price, and even though Naruto was pissed at the man, he had to admit that it was sound advice. Hell, even Mu admitted it as much earlier. So, with a deep breath and hope in his wallet, Naruto asked, "How much for the staff?"
"Oh, nothing much. I just want you to kill Uchiha Sasuke with it," Mu replied as he held out his hand for a shake, "Deal?"
Naruto felt his blood freeze as he heard the request. 'Kill Uchiha Sasuke,' the words rang in his head, unconsciously tightening his grip on the staff as questions flared in his mind; how does he know Sasuke? Why does he want him dead? Is Sasuke here? Was Sasuke here? These questions nearly overloaded the blond's mind if it wasn't for one voice yelling over the din and emphatically stating, "No."
"No?" the elder Mu asked with an arched eyebrow. "Do you not appreciate how powerful that weapon is? It's the stuff of legends. Surely it's worth one traitor's life?"
"No," Naruto stated again, glaring into the black void that was Mu's face as he threw the staff at him. "Sasuke's my friend. And some magic stick isn't worth his life or my promise to bring him back." His piece said; Naruto stepped around a silent Mu. Naruto didn't notice Mu slowly fade away as he made his way out of his section and toward the exit, only to be stopped by the middle brother, Mei.
"Hold on, Naruto-san, you have yet to look at my wares, and I assure you that I do not ask for someone's life in return," Mei stated as he stood in front of the blond and fell to his knees. "Please, you promised to see our sections before leaving."
Naruto silently stared at the begging man, thinking it over for a few seconds before asking. "And you won't ask me to kill anyone for your goods?"
Mei nodded rapidly, an odd sight given the void he had for a face.
"…Fine," Naruto said, spinning on his heel and walking to Mei's section. His eyes looked over the objects but not seeing anything as he was still angry at the elder brother's offer. "I can't believe he asked that!" the blond thought, seething as he stepped over a rolled-up rug and made his way toward the back wall where a display case of necklaces was. "I'm half a mind to take that magic staff and shove it up his ass!" Naruto peered into the display case, finding intricately designed necklaces made of silver and gold and inlaid with various gemstones. Naruto knew at a glance that just the contents of this case alone could make him as rich as a daimyo, but he didn't care. He just wanted to keep his promise and quickly leave the caravan to let off his steam by hitting something.
The blond was about to leave the case when his eyes landed on a familiar-looking gem: a green, crystal gem attached to a thin, black cord flanked by two silver balls; it looked like the first Hokage's necklace. Naruto's heart raced as he reached into his collar and pulled out his necklace, breathing a sigh of relief when he felt and saw the prize he won from Tsunade. He slipped it back into his shirt just as Mei approached.
"See something you like?" Mei asked, tracing Naruto's eyes and seeing them focused on the green gem. "Oh, you want that necklace? That's a beautiful choice. If you sold that, you could—"
"—Afford three mountains containing gold mines," Naruto finished for the man.
"How'd you know?" Mei asked, sounding genuinely curious as he tilted his head.
"I've seen something like it before, and it was worth that much," Naruto answered before turning away from the necklace and offering the gold-robed man a bow. "Thanks for the browse, but I'd like to look at the younger Mu's goods now."
Mei rapidly waved his hands. "But don't you want the necklace?"
"I don't have three mountains with gold mines, Mei-san," Naruto drily stated as he tried to step around the second brother.
"Who said anything about gold?" Mei asked, getting Naruto to pause.
"Then how much for the necklace?" the blond teen asked, getting the sense that the price would be similar to the elder brother's. And he was spot on.
"Oh, nothing much, just steal your sensei's scroll for me," Mei stated, extending his hand for a shake, "Deal?"
Naruto's nostrils flared as he growled. "No. I won't steal his scroll. I might not like Jiraiya much right now, but he's still my teacher, and he's taught me more than anyone else, so I won't betray him like that." Naruto stepped around the silent Mei and left his section, the middle brother fading like the elder as the blond teen ran into the final brother.
"Naruto-san, you still need to see my section, and I assure you that for what I sell, you need not kill someone or steal something to acquire it," the red-robed brother said.
"But what does it cost?" Naruto scowled, crossing his arms as he stared deep into the younger Mu's voided face. "I get the sense that what you sell will cost me something I don't want to give."
The younger Mu inclined his head, "That may be, but you'll never know until you find it. Plus, you did promise not to leave until you visited our sections."
Naruto growled as he stomped into the youngest brother's section, marching up and down the aisles, passing by vases filled with roses, clothing racks, and paintings of happy families until he got to the back wall and his eyes landed on a portrait of a blond man embracing a pink-haired woman as she held a bundle in her arms; the couple looked happy, in love, and were the spitting images of himself and Sakura. "…What the hell is this?"
"Like it? This portrait shows you a picture of your heart's desire, and owning it will ensure that it will happen," the youngest brother said as he strode forward and stood next to Naruto. "Imagine you buy this portrait; you ensure you get your precious Sakura-chan and a cute baby to boot. Or any other girl that strikes your fancy." The younger Mu stepped in front of Naruto, blocking his sight of the portrait, and extended his hand, "Do we have a deal?"
Naruto looked down at the appendage and felt a deep longing to shake the man's hand, no questions asked, but his prior experience with the elder brothers staid him. "How much for the painting?"
"Nothing much, just sever all your bonds with your friends," the youngest Mu answered.
Naruto didn't even need a second to think about it. "No deal. I love Sakura-chan, but my friends and our bonds are the most precious thing I have, and I won't give them up for anything in the world." Naruto turned around and walked away, with nary a glance at the painting behind him, leaving behind a silent, red-robed figure who faded away just like his other brothers.
He exited the youngest brother's section and was confronted by a fourth man, wearing similar clothes to the three brothers, but his robes were the eye-watering color of the box car. "Impressive, kid. Not many can resist my sons' offers," the mysterious man complimented.
"I take it you're their dad, Mumei Mu?" Naruto asked, pausing before the man.
"Indeed I am, and I've got a final deal for you; I'll give you more than what my sons offered. I'll even throw in the ability to dispel curses. And for it, you don't have to kill anyone, steal anything, or sacrifice your relationships; all you have to do," Mumei Mu paused as he pulled a book out of his sleeve, "Is to give me a story."
Naruto examined the book; it was a leather book with a gold book jacket; the jacket featured an embossed spiral on its front. Naruto looked up from the book and into the black void of Mumei Mu's face. "And that's all you want? You'll give me all the weapons and jutsu your eldest offered, all of the wealth your second son offered, all of the love your third son offered, and the ability to dispel curses, all for me to give you a story using this book?"
Mumei Mu nodded as he held out the book.
Naruto stared at the book for one more second before quickly clapping his hands and flaring his chakra, attempting to dispel any genjutsu he might be under. A shroud of blue chakra surrounded the blond teen, producing buffeting winds and cracking the floorboards underneath his feet. Naruto held his shroud for a few seconds before opening his eyes and staring directly into the black void that was Mumei Mu's face.
"Are you done?" the father asked, holding out the book, sounding more amused than offended.
"I'm done," Naruto said as he discreetly bit the inside of his cheek and drew blood, but still found himself in the caravan. Determining that what was happening was real, Naruto decided to take a leap of faith and took the offered book. "So, do you have a favorite story you want to hear?" the blond asked, cracking open the book and thumbing through the pages.
"I'll leave it up to you," the father said before asking the blond, "Do you want everything in a backpack or a scroll?"
Naruto looked up from a page about a weird, talking egg sitting on a wall, "A scroll would be nice, something I could sling behind my back like my teacher."
"Very well," Mumei Mu responded as he pulled out a large scroll from his right sleeve, something Naruto chose not to question with the weird things he had seen and was offered already. "Have you found something?"
"Just about," Naruto said as he stopped at a picture of a girl walking in a dark forest wearing a red hood and carrying a basket as yellow eyes stared at her hungrily from the bushes. "Little Red Riding Hood?" he muttered, and the second he read the title aloud, the blond felt his hands stick to the book's cover as the book's pages began to shine a bright white. "The hell is happening?!" Naruto shouted as the teen felt himself being dragged into the pages as if by a mighty vacuum.
"You're giving me a story using that book," Mumei Mu said as a jagged, white line appeared in the black void that was his face. The line curved into a crooked facsimile of a smile. "I can't wait to see what you get up to."
"Fuck you!" Naruto shouted as he was sucked into the book, disappearing from the caravan, and the Elemental Nations, for a while.
The book hung into the air, still open on the last page Naruto was on, and still shining.
"Best keep my end of the deal," Mumei Mu said as he opened up the large scroll, rolling it across the floor until it hit the opposite end of the caravan. He then snapped his fingers, and everything from each section flew through the air and sealed itself into the scroll in an organized fashion.
With all the goods sealed, the scroll rolled itself up and hopped into Mumei Mu's hands like an eager puppy. "There you are. Now, are you ready to reunite with your owner?" the father asked, getting an eager shake from the scroll. "Alright, hold your horses," Mumei Mu chuckled as he brought the scroll over to the open book and shoved it between the pages, watching it disappear as the book slammed shut and fell to the ground, landing with a thud.
Mumei Mu bent down to pick up the book when there was a flash from the spine; on the spine, in bold, black lettering, appeared the title, "Naruto: A Fractious Fairy Tale."
Mumei Mu grinned, "With a title like that, I can't wait to see what you get up to." The man picked up the book and slipped it into his robes before exiting the boxcar and snapping his fingers. The boxcar then disappeared, fading into the air like a heat haze. The man then began walking down the dirt road, away from the city, whistling as he did so.