Megumi shifted nervously in the lobby of her apartment as she waited for Kaoru to arrive. She was wearing the peacock blue gown Hikaru had decided on. Personally, she had liked the emerald one, but Hikaru had been insistent, and truth be told, she didn't quite have the confidence to argue with him about it. When Kaoru stepped into the lobby, though, his reaction made Megumi glad she'd gone with Hikaru's advice.
"Wow," he breathed. She started towards him, but he held up a hand. "Just … stay there for a sec. Please." She felt her face heat up. Kaoru was typically not shy with compliments, but she'd never seen him rendered speechless. He looked at her for a long moment, finally saying, "Remind me to thank Hikaru."
"Excuse me?" She started heatedly, then shook her head as he grinned. "I'm so easy, it's a wonder you even bother."
"I realize that I'm going to have to trade in my feminist card for this, but you're adorable when you get a little mad." He closed the space between them in a few swift steps and bent to kiss her. "Your cheeks get all pink, and your eyes get all big, and I can't stop thinking about how you're going to make me pay later. You drive me crazy, in the best possible way," he breathed into her neck.
"Last week I made you pay by organizing my bookshelf," Megumi reminded him tartly. "Hardly the stuff of erotic fantasy."
"I don't know," he shrugged. "If I got you the right kind of books, I could see it." He stepped back, offering her his arm. "Come on. Hika and Carmen are waiting in the car."
"Was it really necessary to share a ride with your brother and his date?" she groused. She didn't particularly care all that much, but it did make her feel like she was going to a high school dance.
"Arriving together contributes to the Hitachiin mystique," Kaoru said easily. "People still eat that stuff up with a spoon. But," he lowered his voice as they approached the car, "you're kind of ruining the whole matching effect tonight." Megumi glared at him as he grinned. "You're much prettier than Carmen." Before she could think of a response, she'd been ushered into the car.
Hikaru and his date were both absorbed in their phones. "Hey Megumi," Hikaru said without looking up.
Kaoru looked pointedly at his brother for a moment, and then sighed loudly. "Megumi, this is Kamigamo Nanako, an old friend of ours. Carmen, I'd like you meet Hisakawai Megumi."
"It's a pleasure to meet you," Kamigamo said, smiling. Her phone buzzed, and she looked back down, huffing a little with laughter and typing rapidly. "So is she your girlfriend, Kaoru?"
"I don't believe there's been any kind of formal announcement on that score," Hikaru said, glancing up briefly and kicking his brother lightly in the shin. Kaoru rolled his eyes and pulled his own phone out, sending a quick message.
"I was unaware anyone made formal announcements of a relationship status unless it was an engagement," Megumi said tartly.
"Still," Kaoru said, squeezing her hand lightly. "It's a good point. I'm going to be introducing you to people tonight. What do I call you?"
"My name might be a good place to start."
"Come on, Megumi. You know how people are. They'll press for more. Are we just friends? Are you my paramour? Or are we working out some kind of business alliance?"
"Are we seriously having a define-the-relationship conversation right now? In a limo with your brother and his date?" she hissed, trying desperately for a modicum of privacy. "And also—paramour?"
"Well, it's certainly nicer than fuck-buddy. My special friend? Girl whom I'm dating? My inamorata? Funny, I could have sworn there was another word that's slightly more appropriate." Megumi favored him with an exceptionally ill-tempered glare as Kamigamo obviously tried not to laugh.
Hikaru kicked his brother again, a little more sharply. "Any reason Jen just warned me against being an epic asshole tonight?"
"Big brother, if you're going to be playing provocateur, I see no reason not to loop her in. She's clearly the only person you actually listen to these days."
Kamigamo shook her head, finally putting her phone away. "You two are as ridiculous as ever, you know that? Just introduce her as your girlfriend, Kaoru. You're hopelessly obvious about it. And Hikaru, you'd better not be on the phone with your girlfriend all evening long. You asked me to be your date, so I expect some attempt at conversation and dancing."
"I asked you to be my date specifically because you're married, you know. That way I wouldn't have to deal with any kind of weird pressure."
"I'm married, not a piece of furniture. Don't be so rude."
Kaoru angled his body toward Megumi, doing his best to block out the other two as they continued bickering. "I was only kind of joking," he said in a low voice. "I know some of the guests will be parents of current students at Ouran. If you're more comfortable playing this cool tonight, I'm fine with that. I know how important your professional image is to you."
Megumi smiled at him, brushing a stray lock of hair off his forehead. "That's true, but I don't see that there's anything unprofessional about attending a benefit with my boyfriend. Do you?"
"No," he said, squeezing her hand again. "No, there's really not."
They were silent for the rest of the ride, listening to Kamigamo and Hikaru trade good-natured insults.
"So, the whole gang is going to be here tonight?" Kamigamo asked as they were walking into the main ballroom at Ouran.
"Of course," Kaoru said, his hand warm and comforting on Megumi's back. "This project, expanding the scholarship program, is one of milord's babies. There's no way we wouldn't throw our weight behind it 100%."
"Especially considering the program is how you all met Haruhi?"
"I'm fairly certain Ouran is still full of 'damn rich bastards' who could use a little commoner wisdom into their lives," Hikaru said. Megumi couldn't tell whether or not he was joking.
"You sure seem to have developed a taste for it," Haruhi said from behind them. Hikaru just grinned at her and kissed her cheek. "Come on," she sighed. "Everyone's over here." She led the four over to a large table towards the front of the room where the rest of the Host Club was gathered.
Amid the flurry of greetings, Kamigamo paused and looked around. "Where's Ootori and Suoh?" she asked, frowning.
"Tamaki's off pressing the flesh," Haruhi said, lowering herself into a chair. "He'd better not rope me into it, though."
"And Kyoya's giving his wife a tour of the school," Huni said helpfully. "She's American, you know."
"But that was a while ago," Haruhi frowned. "Shouldn't they be back by now?"
Megumi saw Hikaru and Kaoru exchange a glance, but she wasn't sure what it meant. "There they are," she said, catching sight of the couple in question as they came into the ballroom via a small side entrance. Ootori was leaning down and whispering something in Laney's ear, and Megumi could see her starting to laugh before she caught sight of the rest of the group. She shook her head and tugged her husband forward.
"Megumi!" she said when she got closer. "You look gorgeous!" She kissed her on the cheek.
"So do you," Megumi returned the compliment.
"Yes, you're positively glowing," Hikaru said.
"Plenty of exercise will do that," Kaoru joined in.
"But what kind of exercise could our erstwhile senpai and his lovely wife have been engaging in?"
"I'm certain I have no idea."
Laney blushed while Kyoya glowered at the twins. "Careful," he warned, but Hitachiins paid him no heed.
"Kaoru, tell me something—back in high school, did you ever think it was going to be Kyoya who turned out to be the pervert?"
"I did not, Hikaru. I certainly did not."
"I think his time in America had a very deleterious effect on his morals, Kaoru. Maybe he should have just married Carmen and stayed here, safe and sound in Tokyo, instead."
"It might have been a safer choice, Hikaru."
Laney smiled and laughed, but Megumi didn't miss the sudden rigidity to her body, and evidently neither did Haruhi. "That is quite enough out of you two," she hissed. "Kyoya may be a pervert but at least he's not downright rude."
"Thank you for that rousing defense, Haruhi," Kyoya murmured, still looking daggers at the twins.
"Haruhi, Megumi, can one of you show me to the ladies' room?" Laney asked, not looking at either Hitachiin. "I'm afraid I'm still completely unfamiliar with this place."
"Come on," Haruhi said, putting her arm protectively around her. "Wait until I tell Tamaki about this," she muttered under her breath.
"I'll come too," Megumi said, Kaoru made a slight noise of protest, and she looked up at him. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did you have something to say? It might be rather difficult to get it out, what with your foot so deeply in your mouth. I'll just give you a minute, shall I?"
As the three walked off, Megumi could hear Kyoya behind her, calm as ever. "Well, Kaoru, Hikaru. I certainly hope you didn't have your hearts set on any of the auction items tonight. You do realize your evening just got considerably more interesting, don't you?" Both brothers immediately started defending themselves, but Megumi ignored them, hurrying to catch up with Laney and Haruhi.
"You know they didn't mean it," Haruhi was reassuring her. "They're just idiots. They like to hear themselves talk, and they never bother to think about what comes out of their mouth. When they're together, they have absolutely no filter."
"I know." Laney said quietly.
"They wouldn't say something like that to anyone outside our group. They would never do that to you."
"I know."
"They're just …" she shrugged, looking for the right word.
"Assholes," Megumi supplied. "They're assholes."
Haruhi stopped and looked at her. "Yeah," she grinned. "They're assholes."
Laney finally smiled. "They're adorable assholes, though. Usually."
"When you're not on the receiving end?" Haruhi teased as they opened the door to the ladies' lounge. Fortunately, the room was empty, and the three relaxed, finally feeling able to speak more freely.
"They just hit on a bit of a sore spot," Laney admitted.
"What, the semi-public sex thing or the Carmen thing?"
"The Carmen thing. More specifically, the maybe-Kyoya-should-have-married-a-nice-Japanese-girl thing."
"Well, then that description rules out Carmen," Haruhi said bluntly. Then, more thoughtfully, "No, that's not quite right. Carmen's great. You'll get a real kick out of her, Laney. But if the argument is that Kyoya would have been better off with a traditional girl, she's a rather horrible example to use. They may have had chemistry, but they wanted really different things from their lives."
"Not Carmen specifically. But just …" she trailed off.
"You're feeling very foreign tonight," Megumi said. "If it makes you feel any better, I feel pretty out of place, too."
"But you went to school here, didn't you?" Laney asked.
"Yes, but I never went to any of the big parties like this. My social group was considerably smaller, and for the most part, considerably less ambitious. I've lost touch with most of them, and the ones I've kept in touch with?" She shrugged. "Let's just say I doubt Chiyo will hesitate to remind me that I'm an employee of just about everyone in that room."
"You're an employee of Suoh Corp., not of the parents," Haruhi said heatedly. "They should be thanking you for taking care of their children, not looking down on you."
"Chiyo," Laney mused. "Matsuda Chiyo?"
"Yes," Megumi turned to her, surprised. "You know her?"
"No. I guess Kaoru told Kyoya to warn me that she was—um, that she was here tonight. She's a friend of yours, yes?"
"Yes. Maybe. I don't know." She sighed. "Did you ever look at someone and realize 'Wow. This is a legitimately horrible human being, and I don't understand why we're friends?'"
"No," Haruhi said at the same time Laney said "Absolutely." They grinned at each other, and Laney elaborated, "I remember going out to lunch with an old high school friend right before we moved here. I hadn't seen her in, oh, maybe four years?
She was telling me about another friend of ours, who was pregnant with her third. It was evidently a surprise pregnancy, but you know, shit happens, she's happily married, hardly the end of the world. But Hilary is going on and on about how this is such a huge mistake for this girl, because they didn't want any more kids, and he had been going to get his tubes tied, and now they're pregnant, so I said 'Well, it's not like they're getting a divorce or something.' And she says 'That would probably be a better scenario, actually.'"
"No," Haruhi said. "She didn't really say that, did she?"
"Swear to God. You can't make that shit up." Laney turned back to Megumi. "So yeah, I totally get the whole 'holy crap, are you a psychopath and how did I not notice for so long' moment."
"I don't think I'd go so far as to call Chiyo a psychopath," Megumi said. "Just, you know, maybe kind of a bitch. She wants to meet you. She had a huge crush on Ootori—I think she still does."
Laney gave a genuine chuckle. "Yeah, Kyoya told me. I love my husband, but he can be a real stone-cold son of a bitch sometimes. I almost feel sorry for her."
Haruhi looked smug. "Sometimes I think I got the only decent man among them."
"Probably, but I think I prefer Kyoya when he's not decent." Laney quipped.
Haruhi held up a hand. "Please spare me the details. I don't want to go into preterm labor."
"Please. You're what, 36 weeks? You're all but term."
"Kaoru's not half bad," Megumi defended.
"Oh?" Laney asked, turning her full attention to Megumi. "Are we going to get details?"
Megumi blushed. "No details. But he's sweet. He keeps surprising me with how thoughtful he can be."
"He always was the more considerate of the two," Haruhi said, cocking her head to the side and studying Megumi. "But he was also the more emotionally reserved one, as well. Less willing to take risks."
Megumi caught the warning in Haruhi's voice. "I know," she said. "We're taking things slowly. We're trying not to rush into anything."
"So Kaoru spending four out of seven nights a week at your place is 'slow?'" Haruhi asked. Megumi stared at her.
Laney grinned and threw an arm over her shoulder. "Once you're a part of this group, there's pretty much no chance of keeping a secret," she said.
"Kaoru tells you guys where he spends his nights?" She couldn't quite believe it.
"Of course not." Haruhi took pity on her. "But Tamaki and I were talking with Hikaru yesterday, and he kind of let that slip. I think the exact numbers were a guess, but evidently a good one."
"Five out of seven nights," Megumi admitted, blushing more strongly. "But we're not … we haven't …"
Haruhi put her hands over her ears. "Nothing personal, Megumi, but Kaoru is like a brother to me. Discussing his sex life ranks pretty low on my list of preferred conversational topics."
"Prude," Laney teased.
"Not everyone is quite as adventurous as you are, Laney," Haruhi returned with a smile.
When the trio exited the ladies room, the twins were waiting for them, leaning against the opposite wall. "We're sorry!" they chorused, each throwing an arm around Laney's shoulders.
"Really, we're sorry. It was a stupid joke," Kaoru said, sneaking a look over at Megumi. She rolled her eyes and shook her head at him, and he returned his attention to Laney. "We're idiots. Complete assholes."
"Well, you're not wrong there," Laney said thoughtfully.
"Oh come on, Lane. You know we didn't mean it," Hikaru said, giving her a gentle squeeze. "Everyone knows there is literally no one else on earth who could possibly put up with Kyoya."
Kaoru reached over and smacked his brother lightly upside the head. "Jackass," he hissed. "We're supposed to be making it better, not worse."
Laney shrugged out from under their arms, but she was smiling. Kaoru snuck another look at Megumi, she assumed to gauge her mood. She couldn't keep from smiling at him quickly before schooling her face into proper outrage. He made a show of exhaling in relief.
"Y'all are jackasses," Laney was saying. "I'll forgive you, but you definitely owe me one. Each."
"And you'll tell Kyoya you forgive us?" Hikaru demanded. Kaoru sighed loudly.
"Oh honey. Sure I will," Laney said, her Virginia accent suddenly more pronounced. "For all the good it will do you. Coming, ladies?"
Megumi and Haruhi swept past the twins to join her. Megumi caught Kaoru's hand briefly, giving it a reassuring squeeze before joining the other two.
"We are fucked," she heard Hikaru say dismally.
Author's Note: Thank you so much to DomitiaIvory, Fallenlilly366, Mairelle, Mina416, OneDirectionLover18, carmengal, greenluvr14, and .75 for the favorites, and to Izzyboopers, Kirorokat, Mairelle, No-Time Lord, whenthesheepsaysbaa, and mutemuia for the reviews. You guys! It's been a month, and I apologize. It's been a crazy month, but things are mostly more settled now, and updates should be considerably more regular, particularly after Yom Kippur on Tuesday. In addition to thanking ALL you guys for all the support, I want to wish anyone who celebrates the sweetest of new years and an easy fast next week! L'shanah tovah!