The restaurant where Megumi was meeting her sister was almost empty. Not surprising, since it's barely 5 pm, Megumi thought. She didn't know why she'd bothered to get here on time; Erina was perpetually late. She took a sip of wine, toying idly with the stem. Why do I always find myself waiting around for other people to decide what they want? She felt unsettled after her text conversation with Kaoru, and she wasn't sure she could quite pin down exactly why. She pulled out her phone to re-read what they had written, but before she could call it up, Laney's number flashed on the screen as the phone started to vibrate. "Hello?"
"Oh good, I'm glad I caught you." Laney sounded excited, which wasn't anything particularly out of the ordinary. "Listen, Kyoya and I are at the beach, and we wanted to ask everyone to come down and join us for the long weekend. Are you in?"
A weekend with Ootori? "Well, Kaoru's due back from Paris on Friday," Megumi hedged.
"Right, but Hikaru figured the two of you could meet Kaoru as he's getting in at Narita and then the three of you could take their Cessna down here. Please, Megumi? If you don't come it's going to be me stuck with the boys, because neither the Suohs nor the Haninozukas are coming." Her voice had turned pleading. "I'm not sure I can make it through a weekend with Kyoya and Hikaru sniping at each other. Mori doesn't exactly provide much of a buffer."
"Why don't the two of you just have a romantic getaway by yourselves?"
"We're down here for about 10 days, and for some reason, Kyoya is absolutely insistent that we invite the gang for the weekend. There's no reasoning with him when he gets like this."
"That's strange," Megumi remarked, taking another sip of wine.
"I've been on his case about work-life balance; this is probably payback. Although he's not usually a cut-off-his-nose-to-spite-his-face type of guy." She sighed. "Whatever. He usually can't resist gloating, so I'm sure I'll be enlightened at some point this weekend. You're in, right?"
Megumi hesitated; she'd wanted some privacy to try to straighten things out with Kaoru. But it's probably all in my head anyways, she thought. "Sure. As long as it's okay with Kaoru."
"Please, like Kaoru could stand up to both you and Hikaru," Laney said dismissively. "I'll see you on Friday."
After saying goodbye, Megumi hung up, shaking her head. Why do I always let myself get talked into these things? But before she could get too caught up in that train of thought, she saw her sister coming through the restaurant doors. She waved to get her attention, then filled Erina's glass from the bottle of Riesling on the table, bracing herself for the onslaught of her sister's trademark overenthusiasm.
"Darling, look at you! You look wonderful! Did you lose weight?" Erina swept down upon her little sister, kissing her on both cheeks before settling into her seat. "You got wine, you angel."
"I have not lost weight. In fact, I think I've gained a couple pounds this month."
Erina studied her over the rim of her wineglass. "You may have, but it looks good on you." She took a sip. "New boyfriend keeping you well fed, I take it?"
Megumi shrugged. "He likes to cook."
"A keeper, then."
"Maybe," she smiled. "He has his good points."
"When do we get to meet him?"
Fortunately for Megumi, the waitress picked that moment to take their orders. She quickly scanned the menu and ordered the kitsune soba. Erina dithered over the menu, trying to decide between the curry udon or the zaru udon. "Just get the zaru udon. You know you always spill the curry," Megumi finally intervened.
Erina smiled at the waitress. "She's right, I do."
Orders placed and drinks refilled, Megumi considered how to get the conversation off her love life. "So. How are the kids?"
"Perfect monsters, as usual." Erina's voice held all due maternal fondness. "Kazuhiro was sent home from kindergarten yesterday because he wouldn't stop singing 'Feed My Frankenstein.' I told Daisuke that this was completely his fault for forcing the children to listen to obsolete American rock, and that he'd have to be the one to take it up with the school."
"What did he say?"
"That Alice Cooper was hardly obsolete." She shook her head. "The nerve of that man."
Privately Megumi agreed with her brother-in-law, but she thought it would be prudent to keep that to herself. "And Hana and Yuriko?"
"Running me ragged to death. Yuri cries every single day when her brother and sister leave for school. I keep telling her she'll start preschool next year, but the only thing that wound up consoling her was setting up a pretend school in the playroom. She calls the nanny teacher now."
"Precocious little thing."
"Yes, well, I'd feel much better about the situation if she didn't insist that her lessons consist almost entirely of learning how to braid her dolls' hair and making jewelry out of pipe cleaners and beads."
"She's practicing fine motor skills, Eri. It's exactly what a three-year-old child should be doing."
"You're the teacher—if you say so, who am I to argue?" Erina took another sip of wine, finishing the glass and pouring herself more. "But enough about me and the children. You're not getting out of telling me about him."
"What do you want to know?" Megumi took a sip of her own wine, trying to settle the nerves in her stomach.
Her sister looked at her critically. "Well. I guess the first thing I want to know is why you look all tied up in knots when I bring him up."
"When did you know you were in love with Daisuke?"
"Megumi. Do not change the subject."
"Humor me. I'm trying to figure something out."
"Hmm. Not by the wedding, of course. We were good friends by that time, but certainly not anywhere close to in love." Erina thought for a moment. "If I had to name a time, I guess it would be when I told him I was pregnant with Kazu. His whole face broke into this incredible smile, and right then, seeing him happier than I'd ever seen him at the news he was going to be a father, I just knew." She smiled to herself at the memory.
"And you've never doubted?"
"Loving him? No, I've never doubted that."
"But you've doubted other things?" Megumi pressed.
"Doubt isn't really the right word. Look, Megumi, every married couple has times when they look at each other and think what the hell did I do with my life? And after ten years, the only people who don't admit to the occasional murderous impulse are dirty rotten liars. You can't live with another person without being driven crazy by them at times. Marriage can be hard work. You need to actively chose, every day, to keep that commitment.
"But it's worth it. Daisuke knows everything about me. He knows when to make me laugh and when to leave me alone. He's more than just my husband or my lover—he's my best friend. He brings me coffee every morning in bed, for the love of god! Do you know how many husbands do that?"
"It sounds very romantic," Megumi said drily.
"Romance is lovely, Megumi. But I'll take a man who is dependable over one who is romantic any day of the week."
Dependable? Megumi thought for a minute. Kaoru was kind, and funny, and brilliant, certainly. But dependable? It was certainly not a word anyone had ever assigned to the Hitachiin twins. But hadn't Kaoru proven himself dependable? He was never more than 10 minutes late for a date without calling, always remembered her favorite coffee order, and had lately taken to keeping her tea stash stocked not only with her favorites, but with frequent exotic surprises. But then he went to Paris, and all of a sudden he was full of why haven't I met your family and we should talk but not right now please wait until I get back and I will try to find your fancy soap but no promises and really, who has a breakfast meeting every day? Hitachiin Kaoru certainly had the potential to be a fair master of the big gesture and the sweeping declaration, but when it came to substance?
"But dear, you've only been seeing this young man for what, a month?" Erina broke into Megumi's thoughts. "I know I just gave you the whole spiel about marriage being work, and sticking things out, but if you're having problems after a month, that's not a good sign."
"We're not having problems," Megumi said automatically. "It's just-we haven't even slept together. That's weird, right?"
"After a month? I'm not sure I'd classify it as weird, necessarily, but it's clearly bothering you. What are you waiting for?"
"I don't know. He just wanted some time."
"He's not a virgin, is he?'
"No!" Megumi said. "I mean, I don't think so. No, of course he's not a virgin. He's 29."
"Didn't you see that article a few months back about how more and more men are virgins well into their twenties? Do you know for a fact he's had sex?"
"Well, no," she said slowly. "I mean, I asked him if there was anything going on with his brother, but that was just due diligence."
Her sister stared at her. "Is that typical for you? Checking to see whether guys have slept with their brothers?"
"Long story. They had this whole act going on in high school."
"So that's why you haven't brought this boy around to meet the family yet."
"Erina, if I really thought he'd been screwing his own twin brother in high school, do you really think I ever would have let him kiss me, let alone …" she blushed. "Well, never mind that. Let's just say I'm reasonably sure he isn't a virgin, okay? In fact," she suddenly remembered Kaoru telling her he had slept with previous girlfriends, "I'm sure he's not a virgin. I just think maybe he doesn't know what he wants."
"Have you talked to him about it?" Erina asked.
"Didn't we just cover that?"
"Not the sex thing. The what-he-wants-thing."
"I don't know." Megumi dropped her head, staring at the table. "When we first started dating, he said he wanted to take things slow, to try to, what was his phrase, establish emotional intimacy before physical intimacy. But we haven't really talked about anything related to that since. The pace of our relationship, or where it's heading, or anything like that. I'm trying to give him the time he asked for, but then he took this 10-day business trip to Paris, and it's just been … weird."
"If I give you some advice, are you just going to huff at me and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about?" Erina asked her.
"I haven't done that since I was 16."
"17, but no matter. Stop worrying about what he wants."
Megumi's head jerked up. "Excuse me?"
"Just stop it. You have no control over that, so don't worry about it. Instead, figure out what you want. And when you've done that, tell him what you want. And then ask him what he wants."
"Doesn't that seem …" Megumi trailed off.
"Direct? Yes, but that's the point. You've always been a little stuck inside your own head, and neither of you are mind readers, I can promise you that. Direct is likely the only way you have a chance of successfully navigating this."
"What if I tell him I think I'm in love with him and I can see a long-term future with him and he just laughs at me? Or pats me on the head and says that's not exactly what he had in mind?"
"Would not telling him make him feel any differently?" her sister pointed out.
Megumi shook her head wordlessly. The waitress came by with their food, and she poked halfheartedly at the tofu.
"So, are you?"
"Am I what?" She was starting to get a headache, and keeping up with Erina's jumps required more effort than she really wanted to exert.
"In love with him."
"Oh, I don't know." She took a bite of noodles, more to have an excuse to stop talking than from any real appetite.
"Megumi, you are impossible. Think back to how you felt before you started this little meltdown. If I'd asked you then, what would you have said?"
She slurped the noodle into her mouth, closing her eyes and thinking back. Do I love him? She opened her eyes and reached down into her bag, taking out the drawing she'd done for Kaoru earlier this afternoon. She looked at it, remembering how she'd felt when she'd drawn it—the easy teasing between them, and the underlying desire to bring a smile to his face even though he was almost half a world away. About how it felt like a part of her was always with him. She looked back up at her sister. "Yes. I would have said yes."
"And you haven't told him this, of course."
"Considering I'm just working it out now?"
"So do you think there's a chance he's in the exact same boat you are, and the reason why things are weird is because the two of you are too busy obsessing over what hasn't been said to actually say anything yourselves?"
"That actually sounds like it could be right on the money," Megumi said slowly.
"Just talk to the boy," her sister said gently.
"He wants to wait until he gets back."
"Which is when?"
"It's what, Tuesday? He gets back mid-day on Friday, so two and a half days, really."
"If I asked you how many hours, could you tell me?" Erina smirked. Megumi flicked a small piece of soba at her, but didn't deny it. "So that gives you some time to really think about what it is you want. And I can't quite disagree with him that having a conversation like this is probably better done in person."
"What if we don't want the same things at all?" Megumi asked in a small voice.
"Then at least you'll know," her older sister said.
Author's Note: First of all, thank you so much to Somerandomguy01, moonlightclock, Jocy808, Likes, Mairelle, Chalice13, Lilemaus, mutemuia, Baka-Beka, and 21 for the reviews, and to AnUnreasonableDreamer, SmartOotori, Somerandomguy01, Uiiko, awkwardd, csd14ll, lovelyleftovers, and moonlightclock for the favorites.
Ya'll. December and January were a massive, horrific suck of illness, asthma, steroids, snowstorms, and tsuris I don't even want to get into. But snowstorms. For real, this chapter likely would have been up at least 10 days ago had the child not had what basically amount to a second winter break, with one day of school in two weeks. And he got sick in the middle of that one day, so he's basically had 8. 5 days of school the ENTIRE MONTH of January. Which really puts a cramp in my writing style. And then of course Gracie the Soulless Cat stared at me with her horrible empty eyes for a solid week before the snow melted enough for her to consent to go outside again. She blamed me, I could tell. Anyway, spring is (hopefully) just around the corner, and I'm really going to do everything I can to get this story finished before the spring holidays start up and I'm chained to my kitchen, making endless batches of hamantaschen and rendering schmaltz.