AYangThang: First off, apologies for being away so long. It was only meant to be a short trip. Have you ever woken up and wondered how in the heck time gets away from you? Well, that's been me, recently. I am dismantling the current update schedule to my stories at the moment. It needs to be reworked. The family vacation lasted longer than expected, which not only put me out of practice, but I returned to shift changes at work. A few other responsibilities now also absorb my time more than I would like. Adulting sucks, what can I say...lol...until I get a better handle on my schedule, posting during opportune moments like this one seems to be the most effective.

I also have some fan fiction happenings going on in preparation for this universe, Flame's Shade, and something else…because once this story sees completion, there will be a great deal of fun to be had...alright, shutting up now, on with the fiction.

Weiss and Sun had spent a rare afternoon bonding together, something that Blake found odd, but she didn't question it. She had other things on her mind. They were complicated matters that left her conflicted. It wasn't just one little detail, but rather a handful of them. She knew Ruby felt the same, and between the two of them an air of annoyed despondency cloaked the room.

Waiting was not Blake's strongest suit, and restlessness was kicking into high gear in more ways than one. She leaned heavily on the windowsill in the library, hot breath fogging the window. She didn't know how long she stood there, starting at the snow below.

Anything was better than watching Ruby fidget with that infuriating coin on the table. The way it scraped against the wood every time she tried to move it. Muffling curses when she couldn't grasp it. Left forgotten was a different exercise involving cursive. Ruby had given up on that an hour ago. The doctors had issued a box of tools to help Ruby recover. Putty, finger grips, mental utensils to contort and toy with, all manner of things, but it was this one skill that infuriated Ruby the most.

That something so simple, so everyday important to her survival, eluded her was beyond disempowering.

Though Blake couldn't fathom the depth Ruby's aguish, she could at least fathom her need to be solitary. Ruby's desire to separate herself from everyone during the struggles that pained her the most was something Blake understood. It was strangely disturbing that Ruby could look so determined outside of battle, almost as if she wished death itself on the inanimate object. Such a gaze shouldn't be on such usually soft and gentle features.

Zhu seemed to agree wholeheartedly with the sentiment if his confusion was anything to go by.

Both of the Faunus could tell Ruby's unease within her scent, but only Blake understood the reason why. To Zhu, it was yet another mystery. He was simply too young to solve it, though he seemed to dearly want to. He perched himself on the edge of the table, studying Ruby questioningly, tail curling and uncurling as he watched the display in front of him. Without a second thought he climbed atop her back, fingers and toes finding purchase in the fabric of her shirt and clinging there.

It was only then that Ruby stopped momentarily to reach behind her, ruffling the short strands of ruddy hair atop his head.

"You should probably give it a rest." Blake suggested offhandedly when Ruby's mutterings stopped.

"I can't do that." Ruby said, her mind was running on overdrive, nightmares she couldn't possibly explain creeping up into the back of her mind, and no distraction from those terrifying things were in sight. What made matters entirely worse was that there was a real and tangible possibility that those fears would become reality. The first dead man arrived that morning. At the time, she fought back the bile as best as she could, but it wasn't enough.

Now, it was all she could do to erase it from her mind, his mask alone was a trophy piece that she just couldn't bear to look at. She couldn't understand why Blake would choose to keep it, and Blake herself refused to explain.

"Ruby..."

"Hm?"

"He can tell you're agitated...we both can."

"That's because I am agitated." She said, glaring at the coin in front of her, and then at her own hand in distain. "It never changes, no matter how much I want it to…nothing ever really does."

"That's how it is in Atlas." Blake said slowly.

"One crazy thing after another?" Ruby shot back. "I think I finally understand why some hunters go mad…I don't know how Yang justifies this cloak and dagger work…and you…I just...I don't get it..."

"Think I'm a monster yet?" Blake asked.

"I..."

"It's true, isn't it?" Blake wondered aloud. "You'd be entitled to think that way. I do about myself often enough."

"I really, really, want to agree with you right now...that you're a monster...we both are...but...damn it." Ruby muttered darkly before forcing out a sigh. "I just can't offer a better solution." Her eyes flicked behind her to Zhu. "And I'm not willing to risk letting him get hurt."

"Welcome to my conclusion." Blake forced out between gritted teeth. "Ruby, you aren't the sinner in this. That's on me. I'm the one that gave the order, not you."

"I followed through." Ruby shot back, feeling Zhu clutch her shirt more tightly, his forehead pressing into her shoulders. He tugged on her clothing, and began to climb into her lap, tucking himself against her chest, eyes closed. It was as if he knew something wasn't okay, and Ruby felt guilty that he was feeding off of her negativity. "Shh, you're okay, Zhu. It's okay." He made a noise she was unfamiliar with. She looked to Blake for clarification, but the cat Faunus didn't have one. "What did he say?"

"I don't know. I haven't heard it enough to know what he's trying to infer. He won't talk for us but if you work with him, he might start actually using words with you." Blake sighed then. "More importantly, Ruby, torturing yourself like this isn't going to do anyone any good. Three hours is too long, too strenuous...you won't make any progress like that."

"I can't help it."

"Why not?"

"Because I just keep sitting here thinking that it would never have to be this way if I wasn't such a screw up...and no, I'm not talking about the northern mission, though I guess that's what got me into this mess in the first place."

"what do you mean, Ruby?"

"I know what Yang would do. She only believes in fighting fire with fire when it's a fair fight to begin with. Nothing about attacking the manor is a fair thing, and nothing in the aftermath would be, either. I know what she would do if it came down to a matter of extremes. She would do anything to protect us. If she's worried just enough, I really hate to say this, but I don't doubt the raw magnitude of that fear…or what she would do in the face of it."

"I know," Blake sighed, "and frankly, she does too. That's why we work so well in the shadows."

"Why?"

"Because we always have." Blake said softly. "Yang has never been opposed to acting on a choice once it's been made it. Her ability to follow through is what makes her the best person for this sort of work. She's got a heart of gold, but life's tarnished it something horrible. I make the harsh judgement calls so that she doesn't have to. She acts on them so that she knows when it's over…when she doesn't have to keep her guard up anymore."

Ruby didn't say anything, not at first. She just held Zhu in her arms. Some part of her had grown to love him in a way that was still very fragile and new. She wanted nothing more than to protect him, knowing all the while, life was not something easy to endure. Pretending Remnant wasn't a dark, sometimes dangerous place, would be her greatest disservice. She wasn't sure if that was the love of a parent or not, and she didn't have enough experience to navigate those emotions.

All that she knew, was that he had already lost far too much in his young life...losses he didn't even understand...that on some level, he would never be able to comprehend. Just as she couldn't fully grasp the death of her own mother, and the enormity of the future Summer would simply never have. Octavia would never have that either. Not now, and so while this boy wasn't hers by blood, the connection they shared would be one that Ruby was sure would guide her though her choices when it came to raise him.

If that was a good thing or not, remained to be seen.

"When did the fighting turn this visceral?" Ruby finally asked. "How long has this been going on, Blake? I just...don't understand why it's gotten so violent."

"It's the same fighting it's always been, Ruby. It was simply that we are all children then, we weren't exactly paying for keeps. The White Fang were always this visceral when their leader demanded it. They resorted to terrorists acts that put thousands of lives in danger. We were just too young to truly put that into perspective. Even as adults, I sometimes wonder if we have that capacity."

"When you put it that way, maybe not." Ruby didn't like the obvious explanation that had already come to mind. Blake confirming them removed what little doubt was left. "But, I'd like to think we do…"

"But do we, or is it just our imagination?" Blake asked. "As huntresses, we know battle, and we know it well. The common public has no comprehension of that. It leads me to wondering, when did I start thinking like this? The truth is, I don't have an answer. Change is slow, subtle. From the people living here, to the seasons themselves. It just feels stagnant because there's no way to signify time as it passes by. It's just one dreary day after another...so, back to what I was saying before, being agitated won't do you any good."

"That's the part that bothers me. If I was fit for a little bit of fighting, I could have done something about this as peacefully as possible."

"Even if we could fight, what does it truly change? We'd still go in there armed to the teeth, hoping for a peaceful resolution, but tell me you wouldn't hesitate to fight with the intent to kill if you had to." Blake replied, gesturing to the little boy. "Tell me he wouldn't be the first thing on your mind, Sun a close or equal second...and everyone else a very near third."

That was what Ruby had the problem with. Her own humanity, her own fear. "If they threatened anyone, I wouldn't hesitate. The outcome would be the same." Ruby said with a sigh. "And…I know, they'd end up threatening someone, that's just how they are."

"And so, you'd end up fighting to kill anyway...you wouldn't have a choice."

"I know what you're trying to say, but it just isn't helping. In my head, I keep thinking, if I were there, at least…I don't know…I'd at least get some closure. I could at least do the best I could to solve the matter as peacefully as possible...and then, if I had to fight it would be my scythe. Me and my actions, and I wouldn't doubt that at the end of the day."

"I know." Blake agreed. "If it's any consolation, I feel like shit too."

"But, did we do the right thing?"

That was the largest question Blake ever found herself unable to answer when it came to the complications of the White Fang. "Two wrongs never make a right, but, at the end of the day everyone makes excuses for something. At the end of that day, selfish as it is, you need to do what's best for you. Sometimes that means disregard the needs of the greater whole."

"That's not what I'm asking."

"Violence begets violence, bloodshed returns bloodshed, those fundamental laws will never change..." Blake considered darkly. "So, was it the right thing morally? No. Killing is never right. Was it the right thing for me to do for my own selfish reasons? Yes...even if it makes me feel terrible right now, I'll feel safer later." Blake looked down to Zhu, running her fingers through his messy tresses. He was still intent to cling onto Ruby. Seeing him so small and defenseless, solidified Blake's choices further. This was her domain. This was her family, her kin, and that went without question. "Your answer, Ruby, needs to come from you…"

"Blake?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't think I like my answer...in fact, I think I hate it."

"I hate mine too." Blake said, turning to look back out of the window. The sentiment bore repeating. "I really hate mine too."

The next day, two more bodies presented themselves, and Blake kept those masks too. One she hid in a box with the others she had accumulated over the years, but one she left out, just staring at it, and taking in the familiar scent she never thought would cross her nose again. It dredged up old memories. Many of them good, some of them bad, and all of them forcibly reminding her of her childhood, notably, her parents.

She allowed the painful retrospection to wash over her, wishing for the umpteenth time her mother and father were still around.

Blake had so many questions, too many of them, really. Ones about the White fang, but also others regarding her own motherhood, and what she was in for. She had no way of knowing for sure, but it bothered her greatly that there was no older woman she could turn to for advice. She could recall little things here and there as she grew older, but nothing distinct during her baby years.

With all of the old memories flooding in, she barely noticed when Weiss entered the bedroom and sat down beside her.

Weiss, for her part, wasn't a stupid person. She knew immediately that when a White Fang mask ended up on a bedside table, something bad had happened. She was also smart enough to know not to ask questions about why it was there. There were some thing she was better off not knowing, for her own peace of mind. Blake's past remained one of those things.

Weiss love her wife dearly, without question, but there was a great deal of that history that remained unspoken out of tender care for old and staggering emotions.

The White Fang had done far too many terrible things to the Schnee family. Unforgivable things, that Weiss loathed to admit infuriated her to this very day. Blake was exempt from that fury, but it was a strange point of contention between the two women...not a bad one, but a weighted one between them. Blake had too many people she cared about in that organization, and Weiss had too many bad memories to ever truly see the good in what the White Fang attempted to do.

Still, Weiss knew for her wife's own well being, they still needed to talk about this. While the events would remain a mystery, the person Blake knew behind the mask, would not.

"So...who was he?" Weiss had asked gently.

"Dad's friend."

"Is that's all?"

"Like an uncle, really." Blake murmured.

"His wishes?"

"I don't know…probably cremation, as is the White Fang's custom…and before you ask…no next of kin."

Weiss sighed. "Cremation then, we can scatter his ashes along with the others up in the green house. Pick a place, and I'll see to it."

Blake nodded, but her golden eyes were downcast. "Dad would leave me and my mom with him sometimes. I didn't always listen. I pulled out of his grip and ran out into the middle of the road once. It was during a rally that turned violent. I attacked a human deliberately. He saw me do it, and beat my ass good for disobeying him when we got to safety."

"…I…" Weiss licked her lips, a puff of hot air slipping through her nose. "I don't have any words for men like that."

"I know how you feel about aggression, but, I'm glad he did strike me. In thinking about it, I probably scared him shitless. People were smashing bottles over heads, strangling each other…all kinds of things. He got part of his ear nicked with a blade just trying to get me out of the scuffle. I could have been seriously hurt. I knew better than to disobey. On top of it all, I bit a human, and you don't maul humans maliciously like that, it's against our moral code."

"He must have been livid to strike you…" Weiss said, finding it hard to keep the curiosity out of her voice. She rarely heard the stories of Blake as a disobedient child. Knowing what she knew about instinct, it wasn't habit to cross one's elders very often, but doing so had dire and often heavy handed consequences. "Then again, you must have been crazy to go running out into a street brawl."

"Actually, I think he was kind of proud…he just couldn't say that." Blake shrugged then. She could never really be sure. "He wasn't a pacifist like my dad was. Actually, he hated humans, but, I think he did his best to honor my parents' wishes. When it came to my upbringing, even after they were gone, he looked out for me. He was one if the few who actually cared about teaching me like dad would have."

"Do you think they'll be like that?"

"Who, the cubs?" Blake shook her head. "Weiss, I don't think it will be possible for them to hate humans."

"No, I mean, do you think they'll be hard headed and looking for trouble like you were?" Weiss clarified. "I would really like if they didn't try to defy us at every turn. It's not as if I actually want to keep them under my thumb, but, what if they don't give me a choice?"

"I'm sure they'll give us a hard time at some point...we're not easy people, Weiss." Blake just shrugged, but she couldn't help the tiny smile tugging at her lips. "With us as their parents, was there ever any room for doubt about the sort of people they could grow to be?"

"They could be rational, sane individuals, who choose to think before they act…"

"They could, yes, but then they could use that brilliance for complete stupidity."

"And the chances of that are...?"

"All it would take is for any one of them to gather a motley crew of irrational, hot tempered friends. Once they decide to take matters into their own hands, you have a generic repeat of any questionable event we've ever gotten ourselves into."

Weiss could only shake her head, there was no point in even trying to refute that. "I don't know how lost in thought you were before I came up, and I don't want to pressure you if you aren't ready to set the matter aside...but if you'd like, there's a new show going on down at the theater...or, there's a new audio book I bought waiting for us in the other room. If you aren't up for going out, we could have dinner in bed."

"I really like the idea of just laying around for the evening. Honestly, dinner in bed sounds wonderful." Blake admitted. "Are you sure you wouldn't mind?"

Weiss was already stripping off her clothes to change into something far more comfortable. "I don't mind."