Four: The Snuggly Duckling
"Where are we going?" She asked after a few minutes.
"Don't you like surprises?" I looked over my shoulder at her. She mumbled something that sounded like "Hazel Soup" and shrugged. I let go of the frying pan and she picked up her pace to walk next to me.
It was only about twenty minutes later when I saw the sign and the tavern come into view. "Ah, there it is! The Snuggly Duckling. Don't worry. Very quaint place. Perfect for you. Don't want you scaring and giving up on this whole endeavour, now do we?"
"Well…" She paused, smiling a little. "I do like ducklings."
"Yay!" I felt a little bad for mocking her, but only a little.
We walked up to the door and I threw it open. "Garçon, your finest table please!" My other arm was around Rapunzel's shoulders and it only took a flash of a moment with the door open for her to stiffen in fear. She held out her weapon and started shaking. Not knowing where to look, she kept moving to protect herself.
"Do you smell that?" I asked, knowing full well that I was being mean. "Take a deep breath through the nose. Really let that seep in." I said, putting my hands on her shaking shoulders. "What're you getting? Because to me it's part man smell and the other part is really bad man smell. Over all it just smells like the color brown. Your thoughts?" I taunted, urging her further and further into the tavern.
As we passed a short bearded man, he picked up her trail of golden hair. She squeaked and turned around, trying to pull her hair out of his hands. "That's a lot of hair." He said in amazement. I smiled a little.
"She's growing it out." I joked. "Is that blood in your mustache?" I asked, leaning forward to inspect his red facial hair. "Goldie, look at this! Look at all the blood in his mustache. Good sir! That's a lot of blood!" I turned around right after she'd bumped into a growling drunk. Her face drained of all color. "Hey, you don't look so good, Blondie. Maybe we should get you home, call it a day. After all, this is a five star joint and if you can't handle this place maybe you should be back in your tower." I started leading her back to the front door as she continued to shake and look around with her big green anxiety ridden eyes. The door suddenly slammed and my heart stopped for a moment.
"Is this you?" A big guy asked, a wanted poster under his hand. It was obviously me. I looked from him to the poster feeling my nerves rise in my throat. I moved his finger that was over the drawing's nose to reveal a caricature.
"Ugh, now they're just being mean." I said in disgust. There didn't seem to be a way out of
this one.
"Oh, it's him alright." A bald man with a hook for a hand said, stepping toward us. In spite of myself I blocked his path to Rapunzel, putting myself between her and the two at the front door. I felt her hand grab my shoulder. "Gretta, go find some guards!" With his hand, he grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me close. Scraping the bottom of my chin with his sharpened hook he said, "That reward's gunna buy me a new hook."
Suddenly, I was yanked back from behind and pulled off the ground. "I could use the money!" Then the man who'd had the wanted poster pulled me back, "What about me? I'm broke! Get back" He shouted as everyone swarmed. Hands pulled at my limbs and clothes. Everyone was shouting. I could barely hear Rapunzel protesting over the roar.
"We can work this out!" I attempted as all of my limbs were pulled in different directions. "Gentlemen, please!" I shouted as one had my head in a headlock. Most of the thugs had now come onto the same team and were holding me up to get punched by Hook Hand. "Not the nose! Not the nose!" I pleaded as Hook Hand wound up and someone else held my head in place. I closed my eyes in fear and there was a loud Thwack!
"Put him down!" Rapunzel yelled. My eyes moved from Hook Hand to Rapunzel who was standing behind him. She pulled her hair back from the tree branch. "Okay!" She seemed nervous with all eyes on her suddenly. She looked around and picked up her frying pan from a nearby stool. "I don't know where I am and I need him to take me to see the lanterns," She swung the pan to gesture to me, "because I've been dreaming of them my entire life! Find your humanity! Haven't any of you ever had a dream?" Silence followed her pleading.
Don't kill her. I thought as Hook Hand turned away from me and walked toward her. Someone lifted me up and hooked me up on the tree trunk that was the center of this tavern.
"I had a dream once." Hook Hand said nostalgically. He threw his axe at the wall where an accordion player was sitting, trembling. What is even happening right now? I looked around and no one else seemed as off put by this as me. Music began and Hook Hand began to sing. I watched from my perch as everyone sang just because Rapunzel wanted to see the light festival for the princess.
Piano, love, flowers, design, miming, baking, knitting, sewing, puppeteering, collecting- wait, did they just say unicorns?
"What about you?" Hook Hand asked.
"I'm sorry, me?" I asked from my hook on the tree.
"Yeah, what's your dream?" the lover said, grabbing my shoulders. He lifted me and put me back on the ground.
"No no no. Sorry boys, I don't sing." I said, crossing my arms. I would take a beautiful lunatic into the kingdom that I was wanted in (dead or alive) but I drew the line at singing. Every thug that had just revealed some deep dream of theirs was now pointing a sword at my neck. I quickly scrambled onto a table for a stage.
"I have dreams like you, no really!" I sang with a small note of anxiety. "Just much less touchy feely. They mainly happen somewhere warm and sunny! On an island that I own; tan and rested and alone! Surrounded by enormous piles of money!" by the time I finished singing the lie I'd been telling myself for years I was being thrown into the air.
Rapunzel's voice rose above the rest of the noise. "I've got a dream!" She was standing on a table. "I've got a dream. I just want to see those floating lanterns gleam!" She sang beautifully and without hesitation. "And with every passing hour, I'm so glad I left my tower! Like all you lovely folks I've got a dream!"
The singing continued and so did the displays of dreams. Thugs displaying their dreams is much more violent than a mere song. I was thrown around the room while they sent me running on a barrel and breathed fire in front of me. They threw and they stomped and they sang until the man everyone had forgotten about threw open the door.
"I've found the guards!" He yelled. Everything stopped including my heart. I grabbed Rapunzel from the table she was standing on and pulled her behind the bar where we crouched down to hide.