After the attack on Diagon Alley, Draco didn't know how to feel. Aside from his worries about the twins' survival, he began to wonder what Bellatrix was going to tell Voldemort. The last thing he wanted was to go through all of that, only to have his aunt come along and tell The Dark Lord he hadn't done as directed. Luckily Bellatrix told Voldemort that Draco had done well. She admitted he'd been hesitant to begin with, but she confirmed he'd done what Voldemort had asked of him. Surprisingly she even thought that the last spell he'd cast that had brought the roof down on the Weasley twins had been deliberate, in her slightly dazed state she hadn't seemed to realise she'd knocked him and changed the direction of his spell.
Bellatrix's report had at least given Draco some breathing space from Voldemort, and the dark wizard hadn't made any attempt to hurt Lyra. Instead he'd given Draco a creepy smile, and dismissed him for the rest of the day. With things on an even keel with Voldemort, Draco was then left to brood on what had happened with the twins. All he could do now was hope that they'd both survived the ceiling collapsing on them and that they would both recover from whatever injuries they'd sustained.
Draco had an incredibly restless night's sleep worrying about the fate of the twins, not to mention anyone else who'd been in Diagon Alley at the time of the attack. He was hoping Sunday morning would bring news of what had happened after they'd left the previous day, but when he headed down to breakfast there was no sign of his father. The only person at breakfast was his mother, and unsurprisingly she knew nothing.
"All I know is that Lucius went out with him early this morning," Narcissa told her son. Unless she had to, she never referred to Voldemort as anything other than 'him'.
"What about Bellatrix? Does she know anything?" Draco pressed.
"I haven't seen her yet this morning," Narcissa replied. "But it's doubtful she knows anything. She was pretty groggy last night, and once she'd been checked out by a healer she went to bed. Lucius informed me this morning that I would be looking after her until she's back on her feet."
"Great, so now we're nursemaids," Draco grumbled.
"It's better than being dead," Narcissa said quietly.
"You worry about that?" Draco really looked at his mother, cursing silently as he took in just how worn out she looked. He'd been so concerned about what he was going through, and keeping Lyra safe, he'd forgot to really consider what his mother was going through. She was a prisoner just like him, and she wasn't exactly having an easy time of it.
"I do," Narcissa answered with a small nod. "I always worry he's going to push you too far, and try and get you to do something you can't do. When that happens, I'm terrified he'll snap and kill you."
"I guess we've just got to hope that doesn't happen," Draco replied. "Hopefully I can carry on doing as he wants."
"But for how much longer, Draco?" Narcissa asked in a small, broken voice. "This is killing you, and if anything happened to one of the twins yesterday, you'll blame yourself. There's only so much you can take before you snap."
"I'll just have to make sure I don't snap before Dumbledore and Potter end this thing," Draco said. "I only have to last until a time when I know Lyra is safe. As long as she and Hermione are safe, I've done my job."
A lengthy silence fell between mother and son, and was only broken when a house elf appeared to inform Narcissa her sister was awake. Quickly finishing off her cup of tea, Narcissa went off to play nursemaid to her sister, while Draco retreated back to his room.
Draco remained in his room all morning, and when he went done to lunch he was finally hoping to hear some news about Diagon Alley. Although when he entered the room and found just his mother and aunt, his hope of getting answers faded. However, not two minutes later his father and Voldemort breezed into the dining room, looking extremely jovial.
"Bellatrix, how are you feeling?" Voldemort asked as he settled down next to his occasional lover.
"Not too bad, although I could do with some good news," Bellatrix replied.
"That I can do," Voldemort announced with a sickly smirk. "I'm pleased to say yesterday was a massive success. Diagon Alley is closed for business, and several businesses and shops won't be opening up again anytime soon. We should be able to swoop in and take over a few."
"Never mind your plans to restock Diagon Alley, what about the fatalities?" Bellatrix questioned. "Please say we did some damage."
"Indeed we did," Voldemort replied, as he then reeled of half a dozen victims. "And best of all, Draco claimed his first victim."
Draco felt the potato he'd just put into his mouth threaten to come back up at Voldemort's words, but he managed to choke it down before looking over at The Dark Lord. "Who?"
"One of the Weasley twins, don't know which one," Voldemort replied with a casual shrug. "They were both pulled from the rubble yesterday evening, but one then died in hospital from their injuries. According to my source as the hospital, the family is inconsolable."
Draco nodded mutely as he felt tears prick the back of his eyes. His worst fears had come true, and Voldemort had turned him into a killer. He may not have cast the killing curse, but his actions had led to the death of one of the Weasley twins. He was responsible for what had happened, and he would never be able to remove the incident from his mind. No matter what the future held, he was now a murderer.
"Don't worry Draco, the first one always the hardest," Bellatrix piped up with a wicked smirk as she saw her nephew struggling to contain his emotions.
"First what?" Draco asked in a whisper, even though he thought he knew what she was talking about.
"First kill," Bellatrix answered maliciously. "Even when you're ready for it and have prepared, it hits you hard. But it gets easier as time goes on and you add to your tally."
Draco looked at his aunt in pure horror as she sat casually talking about killing people in between bites of her lunch. Although Voldemort and his father weren't much better, nodding their agreement as they started on their meal. Feeling sick as he realised just how many monsters he had in his family, Draco dropped his cutlery to his plate.
"Don't," Lucius warned in a deadly voice as Draco went to stand up. "Sit down and finish your lunch."
Draco opened his mouth to protest, but Voldemort casually pulled Lyra's ribbon out of his robes and placed it on the table beside his plate, effectively silencing him. With no other choice, Draco resettled himself in his seat and forced himself to choke down at least some of the lunch the elves had prepared.
"That's better," Voldemort remarked as Draco slowly forced down some of his meal. "You don't want to disappoint me Draco, not now I can see the potential in you. You may still be fighting, but you'll soon give in and embrace your dark side. It's there, I can see it, and I will bring it out of you. But for now, I'm satisfied you're making progress."
"Thank you, My Lord," Draco bit out when Lucius gave him a not so subtle kick under the table.
Chuckling slightly, Voldemort turned his attention back to Bellatrix and he began regaling her of tales of what else had happened at Diagon Alley the previous day. Draco tuned Voldemort out as he tried to come to terms with what had happened. But how on earth did he come to terms with the fact he'd killed a man? Because of him, an innocent man was dead, and Draco would never be able to forgive himself for that.
Mercifully after lunch, Draco was allowed to head back to his rooms. His mind in a whirl, Draco collapsed onto the sofa beside the fire. Even though he'd been hoping for the best, he'd been preparing himself for the worst, but all his preparation seemed useless now. Everything he'd been telling himself about doing what he was doing for Lyra, seemed to fade away as he thought about the fact either Fred or George was dead. Would it matter to the Weasleys that he'd done what he'd done to protect his daughter when they'd lost a son? Draco didn't think so, he thought they would hate him, and in his opinion they had every right. Could he really justify what he was doing, even if it was to keep Lyra safe?
The more he thought about things, the worse Draco felt. As he thought about what he'd already been forced to do, and what he could possibly be made to do in the future, he wondered how Hermione was dealing with it. Even though they kept in touch and she kept saying she still loved him, did she? Would she ever be able to cope, knowing what he'd done? Would Lyra ever be able to cope when she found out the truth, just what would his daughter think when she found out her father had turned into a murderer to protect her? Would she understand, or would she hate him?
"Or maybe they'd be better off if you weren't here," Draco whispered to himself as he slowly pulled his wand from his pocket. One quick spell would end everything, but would it make things better or worse for Hermione and Lyra?
Twirling his wand slowly in his fingers, Draco seriously thought about leaving his daughter and girlfriend behind. If he went through with it, Voldemort might lash out and snap Lyra's ribbon, but if Dumbledore was right, she would at least have a chance at being saved. At least then when all this was over, she wouldn't have to live knowing her father was a murderer and had killed someone his mother cared for. Then there was Hermione to think about, sure she would probably mourn him, but without him she would have a chance to move on and live a normal life. With him, there'd always be a reminder of what he'd done, but without him she wouldn't be tarred with the same brush. He would give the witch he loved and his daughter a chance to live a life without people hating them.
However, contemplating ending his life and actually doing it were two very different things, and Draco was still sitting twirling his wand in his fingers when his mother entered the room. Maybe he just wasn't strong enough to take the plunge and utter those two little words. Maybe his desire to see Hermione and Lyra again, outweighed his desire to end his pain.
"How are you?" Narcissa asked, joining Draco on the sofa.
"Not great," Draco replied quietly. "I've just discovered I'm a killer."
"No, you didn't mean to hurt him," Narcissa insisted as she reached over and plucked Draco's wand from his fingers. "And you're not going to hurt yourself, either."
"How did you know?" Draco asked.
"Because you're my son, and I know you too well," Narcissa replied softly as she wrapped her arms around Draco.
As he felt Narcissa start to cry, Draco suddenly realised what a mistake he'd almost made. In some ways, Hermione and Lyra might be better off without him, but they were still his family and he loved them more than anything. Then there was Narcissa to consider. She would be devastated if anything happened to him. He didn't want to cause his family even more pain, especially given what they were currently going through.
"I'm sorry," Draco whispered to his mother. "I promise I won't do it, no matter how bad things get."
"Make sure you don't," Narcissa replied with a sniff. "No matter how bad things get, you've got people who love and need you. Don't give up on Hermione and Lyra, they're waiting for you."
Draco nodded and swiped at a few stray tears of his own that had seeped out of his eyes. As he wondered how to switch the subject to something else, Tipsy suddenly appeared in front of them. With a quick hello, Tipsy handed over a letter before disappearing back to Hogwarts.
"Aren't you going to open it?" Narcissa asked when Draco just stared at the letter in his hand.
"I guess so," Draco replied with a frown.
To be honest he didn't want to open the letter and find Hermione had disowned him. However, he knew he had to open the letter. Taking a deep breath, he tore into the letter. When he read the contents, his emotions got the better of him and he softly began to cry.
"What's wrong?" Narcissa questioned in a panic.
Without saying a word, Draco handed his mother the letter from Hermione. Like her son, Narcissa started to cry when she read Hermione's words. Hermione had informed Draco that George wasn't dead, they'd merely faked his death to help ease some of the pressure off Draco. Apparently all the Weasleys, and a select few members of the Order, were in on the plan, and they all wanted to do what they could to help Draco get through his ordeal.
"I just can't believe it," Draco whispered as he wiped away his tears. "I can't believe they would do this for me."
"You better start believing it," Narcissa said. "Maybe this will show you that you're not alone. You and Hermione have a lot of support, so don't give up. We'll all get through this, just wait and see."
Feeling a bit more optimistic, not to mention extremely grateful, Draco took the letter he'd received from Hermione and took it into the bathroom to destroy. He then quickly wrote her a response and summoned Tipsy back to send it back to his girlfriend. After his brief moment of weakness, he was more determined than ever to survive whatever was thrown at him and get back to his family.