"Why aren't you happy?"
Sabé jumped, startled, and craned her neck to see Memily coming up from behind her. "Hi," she said.
Memily frowned. "Hi," she responded. She took a seat beside Sabé and followed her gaze to the wide window in the small kitchen where they sat. They could see Han and Leia sitting in the grass with the babies, holding them close and laughing at them, trying to get them to crawl. Sabé seemed to be studying the scene. She sat hunched forward, one hand cupping the side of her neck and a small part of her cheek and chin. Her other hand held her elbow. Her eyes were unfocused, dreary and dark and sad.
"Sabé . . . " Memily spoke her name to get her attention, but the woman didn't respond, refused to. "Sabé. . . . Why haven't you told Ducchi yet?"
Memily's question was enough to jerk Sabé from her reverie and her body slowly shifted, her eyes widening as she sat up straighter and pulled her hand down to her lap. "What are you talking about?" she asked, her voice too quiet.
Memily smiled sadly at her. "You know what I'm talking about, Sabé." She reached out and rested a hand on her knee. "Why haven't you told Ducchi yet?"
"Told him what?"
Memily glanced outside at the Solos, then turned back to her friend. "Stop it, Sabé. Answer me. Why haven't you told him yet?"
A single fat tear fell from each of Sabé's eyes and she asked Memily, "How do you know?"
Memily sighed, a tear now leaking from her eye. "Ferus felt it. He was worried about you and he told me. Now, I'm worried about you. Sabé, why aren't you happy? Why haven't you told Ducchi? What's wrong?"
Despite her efforts at remaining strong, Sabé's chin trembled. She shut her eyes and fell into Memily's arms, sobbing. Fearing even more for her friend, Memily embraced her with all the warmth she could and tried fervently to hush her cries. Sabé's bawling continued, though. Her shoulders shook with each sob, starting a short round of hiccups. She sniffled.
"What's wrong, Sabé?"
Calming herself, Sabé pulled the curtains over the window and dragged Memily upstairs, almost running with Memily's arm caught in hers. She brought her to her room and shut the door. "When did Ferus tell you?" Sabé asked her, tears still running down her face.
"Hold on. Let's take a step back here." Memily pointed to her. "How long have you known?"
Sabé froze. She looked up, licked her lips, looked down, answered, "Two weeks."
"Sabé!"
"How do you know I haven't told Ducchi?"
Memily could have laughed. She brought up a hand to rest on her hip and told Sabé, "If Ducchi knew, everyone in the palace would know! He would be ecstatic! Why haven't you told him yet?"
Memily let Sabé gather her thoughts and words for a moment. The older of the two women walked into the bedroom's refresher. She opened a drawer and shuffled through it until she got to the bottom. From that hidden spot, she pulled out a little baggy that contained one thing: a pregnancy test.
Sabé held the baggy close and cried over it until Memily came to her side, took it out of her hands, and hugged her again. "Sabé Evillarde, why in Aldera's blessed heart are you not happy?"
"I'm scared."
Now, Memily did laugh. She stepped back and gave Sabé an amused look. "Well, you could have fooled me! Of course, you're scared! Who wouldn't be-"
"No, Memily. I'm not- it's not like that. I'm not just scared in general- " Sabé sighed. "We watched Leia after she lost her baby. We had to watch her deal with that and grieve over this child she'd never known . . . "
Understanding dawned on Memily and she swallowed. "You're scared of miscarrying."
Sabé wrapped her arms across her midsection. "Terrified," she corrected.
"Why are you so worried about that? This is amazing news, Sabé! You should be happy! You should be telling Ducchi so the two of you can share that joy together! Why aren't you happy, Sabé?"
Sabé's brows rose and she gaped at Memily. "I'm in my forties, Memily! Things like this aren't supposed to happen to forty-four-year-old women! It's not normal!"
"Since when do you care about being normal?"
"Memily!" she shrieked.
"Alright. You need to relax."
"I can't!"
"Well, you have to. Otherwise, you're going to hyperventilate! Sabé, chill out!"
Sabé pulled back her arms so both of her hands rested on her stomach. "This shouldn't be happening," she cried, vigorously shaking her head. "This shouldn't be happening. This shouldn't even be possible."
"Sabé, it's not impossible It's just not common."
"No. This is past uncommon. This is risky. It's unlikely. It's rare. This isn't going to last, Memily. I already know that. I don't want to have to deal with that like Leia had to."
"Maybe you won't! Where's your faith, Sabé? Who says it's impossible for this baby to make it?"
"I can't just stand here and wait to lose the baby-"
"Then don't."
"But that's what's going to happen."
"See, this is what you need Ducchi for. You need his optimism and his cheerfulness. You need to tell him so he can buoy you back up and feed you hope. Don't sit here and wait to lose this baby. Tell Ducchi so you two can celebrate."
"I can't celebrate when I know this isn't going to end well."
"That's what you think."
"And Ducchi and his optimism . . ." Sabé gave a choked-off laugh. "He would get too excited and it would only make it worse when I-"
"That's what you need, Sabé. There's a reason why he's so perfect for you. It's at moments like this one that you need his optimism, his faith."
"Or, maybe, he needs my lack of it."
I'll Be Your Faith"Tell Ducchi," Memily begged Sabé. "Tell him today or else I'm telling Leia."
"You wouldn't do that," Sabé said, shaking her head. "Not to me."
"Yes, I would. I would, Sabé. For you."
"Memily, you have no right to be telling anyone! This isn't your business to be messing around-"
"Then tell your husband today and Leia won't be hearing a word from me. You have my word. If Ducchi doesn't come up to me by the end of the day and tell me that you told him you're pregnant, I'm telling Leia first thing tomorrow." Then, swiftly, Memily left before Sabé could object.
Memily stayed up late that night, giving Sabé all the time she could. She sat in the living room with a good book and watched the clock constantly. By ten in the night, she was starting to question her own tactic. Maybe Sabé was right. This wasn't any of her business and Memily had no right to force Sabé into such a situation. She was traumatized enough. She didn't deserve it to have Memily going around and telling everyone. At eleven in the night, she sighed, shutting her book, and got up to head for bed. In all truth, she was debating whether or not she would really tell Leia tomorrow. It would be betraying Sabé's trust and Memily couldn't do that to her. She couldn't do that to her best friend. Even if someone needed to know.
Memily was walking out into the hall when she saw Ducchi running down the staircase. Irked by his presence, Memily stopped and watched him. It took him a second to realize she was at the bottom of the staircase, but when their gazes met he froze. There was a frantic and desperate look to his eyes and it startled Memily. It was surprising enough to see him up at night, but running down the staircase looking so anxiously excited . . .
"She told you," Memily realized and said aloud. Immediately, guilt consumed her and she wished she could apologize to Sabé and take back her ultimatum of a threat. It was too late, though.
Ducchi released a breath, his shoulders relaxing as he looked at Memily. "Thank you," he said.
"No." Memily shook her head, taking a step towards him. "No. You shouldn't be thanking me. What I made Sabé do-"
"Needed to be done. She knows that. She's scared and she needed you to call her out. She needed a friend who was brave enough to call her out. Thank you, Memily."
Memily considered his words, looking away while she thought it over. "Okay, but . . . you shouldn't have had to find out this way. I ruined that for you and I'm so sorry."
Ducchi smiled softly at her. "You don't need to be sorry, Memily. My wife just told me that we're going to be parents. Nothing could have ruined that moment."
Memily nodded slowly. "You know, she's too scared to have that optimism."
"I know and I understand why. I'm not like that, though. I'm happy about this. I'm thrilled about this. I know she is too. She's just too scared to let herself enjoy it. I'm going to make forget her fears. Thank you, Memily."
1 hour before
Sabé couldn't sleep. Memily's threat echoed in her head, but it didn't sound like a threat like it had when she'd first spoken it. Now, it sounded almost like a warning. It sounded like help. 'If you don't tell Ducchi and get his help, I'm going to tell Leia so she can help you.' That was what Memily had meant. She'd meant good as she always did. She only meant to help her, to help her find help. Memily would never do something in spite of her. She was doing everything she could to help her.
Lying on her side, Sabé rolled over so she was facing her husband. He was deep asleep, his soft snores testifying that much. Sabé reached out a hand and gently touched his shoulder, whispering his name, "Ducchi. Ducchi." Ducchi still sleeping, Sabé shook his shoulder. "Ducchi," spoke his name just above a whisper. "Ducchi, wake up."
He woke with a start and jumped, startled to see Sabé wide awake and staring at him. He brought a hand to his chest. "Darling, you want to give me a heart attack?" He chuckled and leaned forward to kiss Sabé's cheek. "Why are you still awake? Aren't you tired?"
Sabé sighed, closing her eyes a moment. "Exhausted," she muttered. "Listen, Ducchi, I think we really need to talk."
For a long moment, he didn't respond. It took him a while before he finally said, "Okay?" He said it like a question, not imagining anything good coming out of a conversation after Sabé's first line.
"Something happened and I should have told you awhile ago, but I- I'm really scared."
Ducchi's concern jumped another five notches and he reached out an arm to envelop Sabé and pull her closer to him. Swiping strands of her long hair past her ears, he asked, "What's wrong, darling?"
" . . . Ducchi . . . I'm so sorry."
"Sabé, honey, relax," Ducchi soothed. He moved one hand to her waist, his fingers dancing across her flat belly to one of her hips. "I won't be mad at you. I promise. Now just tell me what's bothering you so I can help."
His fingers halfway through their dance, tickling the area around her bellybutton, she told him, "Ducchi, I'm pregnant."
Silence.
Even in the dark, Sabé could see his gaze as it suddenly dropped to where his hand was resting against her midsection. Slowly, in a dazed sort of fashion, he pulled her shirt up and pressed his hand against the skin of her stomach. He looked back up to her, his eyes asking. She nodded. "I took a pregnancy test. Three, actually. I'm . . . I'm pregnant."
Ducchi's eyes lit up and he quickly dove back in for a kiss, but Sabé stopped him with her hand. Ducchi hardly thought twice about it, though. He was already rambling. "Sabé! Sabé, this is wonderful! This is a miracle! This is amazing! Darling, I can hardly believe it!" He laughed. "I'm so happy. Sabé, you make me so happy."
She took his hand and pulled it away from her stomach, squeezing it. "Stop, Ducchi, please."
"What's wrong, my love? Aren't you happy, too?"
"I want to be happy. Trust me, Ducchi, I really do, but you have to realize that this pregnancy can't last long."
Ducchi sat up in bed and pulled her with him, all the while holding her gaze. "You're going to let that overshadow this news? Sabé, don't you think it's already a miracle you're pregnant?"
"Exactly! Look, I was happy about this, too, but just think about this realistically. I'm old, Ducchi. This shouldn't be happening. Yes, it's a miracle that this happened at all, but I can't let myself get too excited over this. It's only going to hurt worse when we lose this."
"Let yourself be happy, Sabé! It would hurt either way if we were to lose this baby. At least enjoy it as long as it does last."
"How could you think like that? Enjoy something we're going to lose?"
Ducchi shook his head, taking her head and cradling it to his chest. "You don't know that we're going to lose this baby. Sabé, you're carrying our child. If we do lose this, do you really want to only have memories of waiting for it to end? Don't you want to have memories of us smiling together over our baby?"
"I'm sorry, Ducchi, but I can't trick myself like that."
Ducchi nodded, still holding her close. "Alright. At least answer me this: how long have you known?"
"That would be the part I'm sorry about."
"How long, Sabé?"
"I've known for two weeks."
Sabé cried into his chest and Ducchi just held her, letting her get it all out. He didn't try to hush her or calm her. She needed to cry.
Truly, he understood what was going through Sabé's mind and why she didn't want to celebrate this. Maybe he didn't understand how a person could do that, but he understood why. Sabé was a realist, pragmatic, and Ducchi was her faith. While she cried and waited for everything to crumble, he would hold her up and cherish every moment. He would celebrate for her.
"Ducchi," she spoke up after a long time of just sobbing.
"Sabé?"
"I don't want to tell anybody about this yet."
"Okay."
"I mean anybody, Ducchi. Memily and Ferus already know, but that's it. I don't even want Leia or Han to know."
Ducchi nodded. "Whatever you want, darling."