Full Circle

Chapter 9 – Memories

AN: Thankyou for all your reviews they really motivate me to want to write more! I have included scenes from the show in this chapter they are from 2x20 one of my favourite scenes ever (Olivia's earn me speech and Fitz running out the clock) and I have included the 509 breakup scene just an FYI I even went back and watched it for some crazy reason and cried my eyes out. I really do hate that episode with a passion it has to be the worst episode of scandal for me followed by every 5b episode. I just felt like it was necessary for liv to relive this part. Also I did a google search of different treatment facilities in the US and did a few reading of different ones and picked the Timberline knolls in Chicago I did like that it was for women so I went with that Olivia needs some female empowering and I thought it might be a better fit. I hope to get another chapter up tomorrow :)

No copyright intended the scandal scenes are in italics. Not my work taken directly from that particular scene.

The next day Fitz and Olivia spent the majority of their day researching different treatment facilities that would be best for her and add in the extra complication of who she was it made the task very difficult. Olivia was starting to feel the search was useless, all she wanted was some help but nothing seemed like the right fit and she also needed NDA signed in order for her to get the help she needed she would have to talk about the kidnapping, Andrew and her relationship with Fitz.

Fitz could see Olivia losing the tiny bit of hope she had in her eyes of getting better and the start of tears started to fill her beautiful eyes. He made his way over to her and pulled her into a hug

'We'll find somewhere Liv I promise.'

'It's useless Fitz as soon as they hear who I am and what it would entail they start getting hesitant or they just don't seem like they could do anything for me'

'How about you take a break, I'll go run you a bath and you can just relax and not think about this and leave it all to me, I can make a few calls get some recommendations and go from there.'

She nods at him knowing that all this is too much for her right now.

Once the bath is filled he goes and picks her up from the living and carries her into the bathroom, he gently puts her on the counter and starts undressing. This is the most intimate they have been in 7 months; she can see the lust in his eyes and bites back the smile that is trying to form on her lips. Once undressed she takes hold of his hand as he guides her into the tub, she lets out a deep sigh as the warm muscles hits her exhausted body. Fitz kisses the top her head

'Just relax Livvie'

Just before he leaves the room she stops him

'Hey Fitz thank you '

He knows she is not just thanking him for the bath but ever since she arrived and told him about the abortion. He gives her a warm smile in return and leaves hoping to be able secure a place for her somewhere.

After an hour trying to get in touch with all different types of people Fitz finally remembered his old college friend Michelle who is a therapist and helped him once he got out of the navy.

'Really that's great Michelle thank so much. Yes I'll phone them right away. Thank you again'.

Finally feeling like he was getting somewhere he quickly rang up Timberline Knolls Residential treatment centre hoping that this place would help his Livvie.

Back in the Residence Olivia was still in the tub not having the energy to move, she sunk further into the water and closed he eyes. Her relationship with Fitz started to replay in her head, all the ups and downs, the heartache and the happy moment. She thinks about the first time she really truly believed that he would pick her

'What?!'

'Why don't you have a seat?'

'What do you want?'

'Sit down'

'No'

'Sit down, Olivia'

'I am busy. I have a job. I have people who count on me. I don't have time to come running down to the White House at your beck and call like you're the only one who's important.
Sitting down is not happening, so what do you want?'

'You.'

'Good-bye, Mr. President'.

'Oh, come on!'

'You do not summon me!'

'You do not walk away from me!'

'I'm done. I told you I was done. We're over.'

'We're not over. We're not ever gonna be over. I am never going to be over you'.

'Your wife is at Blair house, and she is about to explode. Your political career You'll never get re-elected if you don't get her back. Your time as President will be over, and you're worried about getting your mistress back?!'

'How many times do I need to tell you that you're more than that? Come back to me. Forgive me.
I love you.'

'Please stop. Please stop getting my hopes up. Just stop!'

'I can't stop. I won't Olivia.'

'I am not a toy you can play with when you're bored or lonely or horny! I am not the girl the guy gets at the end of the movie! I am not a fantasy! If you want me, earn me! Until then, we are done.'

'What is happening?'

'What do you mean?'

'Why are you here?'

'Someone said something very wise to me today "Give the person you love whatever they want." So I'm here to find out what do you want?'

'In 22 minutes, Mellie's clock runs out.'

'I know she's going public tonight on prime time.'

'In 22 minutes, Mellie's going to go nuclear on you. You should be in your car heading down Pennsylvania Avenue to Blair house to repair your marriage or calling her on the phone to repair your marriage. You should be doing something to repair your marriage, because if you don't, your chances for re-election are'

'Very slim and that's my problem, not yours. And frankly, I don't care. I am here to find out what do you want? Do you want me or don't you?'

'You don't care that the clock is running out?'

'I'm gonna sit here and run out the clock with you.'

'Does Cyrus know where you are? Maybe he can get Mellie to give you an extension or something.'

'Hang up the phone. Hang up the damned phone. You can't fix the fact that I love you, that I love you more than I love being President. I have told you that I'd give it all up for you again and again, and you know what I think? I think you don't believe me. I think you believe that I will never choose you. So this time, I'm fixing things. We are gonna sit here for the next 21 minutes. We're gonna sit here, and the clock on my marriage is going to run out. We're gonna run it out together.
You're gonna watch me run out this clock. You're gonna sit here with me and watch me choose you.'

'You wouldn't.'

' I would. I will. I'm going to. Sit with me. Sit with me, Liv. Sit with me, and let's run out the clock.
Sit with me and watch me choose you. Watch me earn you.'

'Time's up It's done. Unless you don't want me.'

'Liv. Hey Livvie' Fitz is kissing her forehead.

'mmm' she mumbles

'Sorry I must have fallen asleep'

'It's ok' and he hands her warm towel

Once she dried and changed she goes to sit by him on the bed

'I've got some good news, I found a place for you it's in Chicago Timberline Knolls it specifically treats women and it's got a great programme for you. They understand who you are and that you need to be able to disclose whatever you need. I think this place could really help you Liv.'

She smiles at him and hugs him

'I'm going to get better Fitz. I promise. How soon can I go?'

'They said you can go up Monday you can call them tomorrow and get a feel of them and ask them any questions'

'Yeah that would be good'

'How about we invite your team here, we can have a group dinner and you can fill them in and that way your last night can be just me an you'

'I'd like that'

Liv goes to ring her team and Abby whilst Fitz gets his head agent Matt to head out for Chinese food and tells him to order a mixture of everything. He head back to the bedroom where he left Liv, he notices that she is just staring off into space.

'You alright?' He asks whilst sitting back next to her

'Yeah I'm just thinking that's all'

He waits for her to continue

'A lot has happened in here' a sad smile graces her lips and he knows that most of them are sad, painful memories.

'Do you remember when I was waiting for you with the record players as a cover to let you know that they knew about West Angola'

'Yes the record got stuck and you had me all riled up'

'I made up for it though later on' and they both chuckle

'I know I seemed like I wasn't very happy here with you Fitz but I want you to know that a part of me was because I was with you. I just lost my way'

'We lost our way Liv not just you'

She reaches out for his hand and he gladly gives it to her

'I keep replaying that night in my head. I can see it so clearly. It was like Mellie was haunting me she was doing the filibuster and I was here stuck planning parties and handing out cookie. It was almost as if another person had invaded me and I was just floating along watching the destruction I was causing. I helped Mellie you know during the filibuster '

'Yeah I figured once Susan showed up, she would never do that by herself' Fitz chuckles

'Then after I went and got.. Then came here and then' She goes back to staring at the door and Fitz knows where her mind has wondered to.

'Liv? You want to tell me what's going on? Where were you tonight? Olivia What the hell are you'

'Yes! Oh, thank you.'

'You can't be serious. Olivia, I am trying to talk to you!'

' I tried tonight to make it to your dinner. I thought I'd get back in time. I really Tried, but'

'But what? Where were you, Olivia'

'Something came up'

'Do not lie to me!'

'I don't know what you want me to'

'You were running. That's what I want you to say. That's what I want you to admit. It doesn't really matter where you were tonight. You just weren't here. You didn't make it to that dinner tonight because'

'Because I didn't want to go. Why would I, Fitz? So I could sit in the corner with the other housewives and force myself to watch you run with the big dogs across the room? Guess what I am a big dog, so I didn't want to go.'

'I knew this was gonna happen. I knew when I moved you in here and tried to give us a real shot at making this work'

'You mean when you moved me in here and treated me like I was some kind of hostage?'

'Is that honestly what you think? That all this is some kind of sick, twisted punishment?'

'Yes, I do.'

' "Punishment"? - What are you'

'for my father.'

'This has nothing to do with'

'It has everything to do with him.'

'I get my father released, I try to help you, I try to save you'

'Oh, let's not pretend you did that for me, Olivia. That was for you. You did that so you wouldn't have to marry me.'

'What was worse for you, Fitz? When I let my father go, or when I asked you not to kill him? Do I owe you now, Fitz? Do I get to show how worthy I am of your sacrifices now, Fitz? Do I get to talk to wives at cocktail parties for you? Trade recipes for you? Plan dinners for you? Live in this cage for you, and not breathe for you?! Tell me, what must I do to prove I am forever indebted to you for saving my father's life?!'

'Olivia'

'Be your housewife? Your girlfriend? Your property?! You stand there, and you think about what I have been doing and about everything I have ever told you and you tell me who wouldn't run.'

'Try to understand what I am telling you. Moving you in here, asking you to go all-in on us'

'Oh, who is really lying to who here, Fitz? You asked me? - When did you ask me?'

'When I tried to propose. When we were out on the Truman, when you flat-out refused'

'That wasn't a proposal. That was manipulation'.

'You want to talk about manipulation? You think I don't know what you've been doing this entire time?'

'What are you talking about'?

'I'm talking about you strutting around here, wielding your undue influence in your power capes like you run the damn place.'

'So you're bitter. Is that it? After realizing how ineffectual you actually are'

'You know, you're worse than her. You're worse than Mellie. At least with Mellie, I knew what she was the entire time. Unlike you. I mean, I knew where you came from, but'

'Where I came from? We both know who your father is. I came from a palace compared to the man that raised you. At least my father loved me'

'You want to know who wouldn't run? Someone capable of being in a relationship. Someone capable of being normal.'

'If you were someone capable of being alone, someone capable of not suffocating me'

'I wasn't suffocating! I was trying to show you'

'You were trying to save me!'

'I was trying to save us!'

'There is no us! There is no this! There is no Vermont! There is no jam! There is no future! Not anymore.'

'You just needed time to get used to the way things work around here, the way things work with us in here, to be here. You needed time'

'We didn't get any time. I told you, if it got out, if they knew We needed time before. We never had a chance. I told you'.

'Before.'

'If we're already broken going in',

'I was unavailable before. You liked me unavailable'.

'I don't know you available. She got this side of you. She did this part. I didn't have to.
I didn't have to be everything.'

'You could've had something been something. Mellie that's what she said. I hate that you're always right'.

'Me too'.

'We tried'.

'We did'.

His gentle squeeze of her hand brings her out of that memory; he sees the tears coming down her face and uses his thumb to wipe them away. She pulls him into a hug burying her face in the crook of his neck knowing that she needed to relive that memory in order to move forward.

'We didn't try Fitz. Not really. We couldn't but there still is an us and Vermont and Jam if you still want that'

'I want that more than anything Livvie but we need to get you healthier first then we can really give us a chance. We can really try.'

They smile at each other and stare into each other eyes both giving the other the confidence to know that they will be ok. They start to lean ever so slowly and just before their lips touch they hear

'Hello where you guys' came Abby's voice

They rest their foreheads together savouring each other before heading out of the room to eat with her team.

'I was just about to send a search party now where is this food I am starving' Abby said as Matt walked in.

The night was filled with lots of laughter, food and good company. Quinn and Marcus asked Fitz questions wanting to know what it was really like living in The White House and being President. They asked him what he was going to do when his term was over and also got to know him as Fitz.

'Abby what are you going to do once Fitz's term is over with?'

'I don't know I haven't thought about depends if the new President wants me or'

'Or you could always come back and work for us' Huck chimed in

'Whist we are on the topic of OPA I need to let you guys know that on Monday I am heading to a treatment facility in Chicago'.

She stopped wanting to give them time to digest the information

'I plan on keeping OPA open but if it gets too much for you guys you can close'

'How long will you be gone?'

'I don't know as long as it takes I guess, I've been hiding for too long we all know how I've been especially the last 7 months. I can't keep going on the same way. Hope you guys understand'

'Over a cliff Liv' Quinn, Huck and Abby said

Quinn looked to Marcus 'Youre supposed to say over a cliff'

'Over a cliff Liv'

They all smiled. The future may be uncertain but Olivia knew she could count on her team, Abby and most importantly Fitz.