Author's Note: Quick couple of things: For the first song, if you look up on youtube "Lelianna's song english cover" by Paperliliesny, and the second song "May it be" by Enya. For the conversation in the second half of the chapter, I really like a piano cover of "If I never knew you" by The Piano Fan, playing in the background.

Chapter 11 - Just Like Before

"... Calm as an angel in the dragon's den," - The Revolt of Islam

The monstrous creature glared down at Kathryn with Smaug's eyes, lips peeling back to reveal his teeth as saliva dripped from his still bleeding gums. Kathryn shook from the force of sound as the half dragon creature growled at her, and she struggled not to move a single muscle as she locked gazes with the beast.

"Smaug…" Kathryn said softly. The creature growled at her in response, eyes blazing.

Smaug's mind was still sealed from her, so Kathryn couldn't use their bond to help her at the moment, nor were her powers of any use. Kathryn could only hope that her voice and her face alone was enough for him. If it wasn't enough to make him see sense, then she was going to die a very painful death.

But even now, Smaug was looking at her, glaring at her with confusion written upon his monstrous features. He was still aggressive, hungry, in pain, but there was something in him that recognised her, for he studied her face as if her name were just at the back of his mind, unable to grasp it as if it were smoke. His nostrils flared as he took in her scent, and he seemed as if he didn't know whether to tear into her or not. Kathryn knew she had to persuade him to see her once more.

"Smaug… It's me, it's Kathryn… you know me…" she murmured to him, her eyes locked with his as she hesitantly raised a hand towards that grotesquely malformed face.

The dragon snarled at her, and Kathryn froze in place, but she didn't shy away nor did she break eye contact. Her heart was racing, knowing that even though Smaug's head was only as big as a crocodile's perhaps, he could still bite off her arm. But she did not show her fear, she did not break the stalemate between them, knowing that it would be the death of her if she did.

Slowly reaching up with her other hand, Kathryn tucked a hand into the folds of the neckline of her dress and retrieved the dragonscale necklace, now with its golden thread chain that hung about her neck. The half dragon creature sniffed at it suspiciously, eyes narrowing on the object as if he could recognise it as one of his own.

"That's right…" Kathryn whispered to him. "You know me… You gave me this on the day I left you… You know me… You know me…"

She kept repeating the words softly, as if they were a prayer as she slowly inched her outstretched hand forwards towards his face. With a growl, the creature snapped it jaws only inches before Kathryn's fingers, making her stop momentarily. But she merely begun to murmur soothingly as she slowly reached forward bravely once again. And then, her soothing noises became a melody and her hushed tone became words as she softly sang in an attempt to calm the savage beast.

"Elder your time is come
now I am filled with sorrow
weary eyes need resting
heart has become grey and slow
in waking sleep of freedom..."

Instantly, the Smaug-beast became transfixed by her voice, eyes widening, head wobbling slightly on his neck as if he were in some sort of trance, like a snake dancing to a snake charmer. Kathryn allowed her magic to slip into her voice ever so slightly, bringing a subtle edge of her power to her voice as she faded to a mere hum, hoping that the magic would help to sooth the savage beast and not further antagonise him.

And then, ever so gently, she placed her hand on the edge of his snout, just above his misshapen lips. Instantly, the half creature froze in place, and Kathryn knew that she had hit the right spot. For when fully in his dragon form, right between his nostrils, Smaug had small pores in his scales that worked to sense energy in the air, allowing him to sense the change in the air movement, or so that he could sense his prey. And with her touch upon such sensitive skin, he could feel every current of electricity running through her body, it was a very intimate thing to touch a dragon in such a place. Kathryn knew this, and had been gambling that those pores were there even in his half state. A moment later, Ktahryn heard a deep thrumming, much like the growling of thunder, but knew it to be a dragon's purr. A smile broke out on her face as grateful tears of relief filled her eyes. She'd done it. He knew her.

Suddenly, Kathryn heard a shuffling noise as Faervel tried to get to his feet. Smaug's head snapped back to glare at the elf, eyes going wide with surprise, a roar tearing from his throat as he bared his teeth at Faervel. Faervel froze, quaking with terror, and Smaug looked as if he was about to attack again, when Kathryn reached out to him, her hand brushing his jaw.

"Smaug, no, it's alright –"

Her words were cut short when Smaug spun back to face her, his jaws snapping at her in a warning, only centimetres from her face. Kathryn only closed her eyes in order to stop herself from flinching or reacting in any other way, even when her knees shook and she thought she would piss herself from fear. She opened her eyes slowly as she began to hum again, her voice soft and caressing the air as she tried to sooth him again. Smaug opened his jaw slightly, a growl vibrating up his throat, though his eyes became half lidded and a deep sigh escaped him, it was as if he were a crocodile basking in the sun with his jaw open to allow his body to cool. With a shaking hand, Kathryn reached out again and gently stroked his misshaped snout, noticing how his hide was damp as if from sweat, a slight tremble in every muscle.

"Faervel," Kathryn murmured as her voice never broke the soft melody of the song, her eyes never leaving Smaug even though she spoke to the elf. "You need to leave," Kathryn could tell he was about to argue, but before he could she quickly cut him off in an attempt to not alert Smaug to his presence again. "You must go now: go back to the castle or wait outside, it makes no difference. I must help him. Don't worry. He won't hurt me. Now go."

She felt his eyes upon her, and it seemed as if an eternity passed, before she heard him softly pick himself up and leave the chamber. In order to mask the sound of his exit, Kathryn continued her short little song.

"We sing, rejoice
we tell the tales
we laugh and cry
we love one more day..."

As her song began to die, Smaug tensed up, releasing a high pitched whine as his body shook under more convulsions, and she could hear his bones cracking and breaking and trying to move, causing him more pain as he growled, whined and whimpered. Daringly, Kathryn pushed on his head, and he wasn't able to fight her due to his weakened state and his smaller dragon-like physique then he was used to. Once he was on the ground, he began to curl up, tail coming to snake round by his jaw, back hunched, legs coming into his underside and twitching as he groaned. Kathryn settled herself by his head, her fingers gently brushing over his fresh scales that seemed rather soft compared to the iron armour she had grown accustomed to. She tried to keep him comfortable and calm in any way she could, hoping that if he remained still and didn't fight it, then the change would come naturally.

After half an hour, and there was no change, Kathryn began to panic. If anything, the convulsions and tremors in his body were becoming much more frequent, and Kathryn knew that he was slowly dying, the sweat upon his hide making him glisten, the shivers that now shook him made his breath rattle, his heartbeat becoming irregular. Panic and desperation gripped her entire being: she couldn't lose him again! Kathryn knew she had to do something to help, but was unsure what, as the only thing she could think of was to help him through the change. But the only way to do that was to…

Steeling herself for what she was about to do, she realised that she had no choice, and ploughed on ahead anyway, praying to whatever gods would listen for salvation.

Kathryn searched for the bond that connected her to Smaug; as she reached it, she began to claw her way along the golden chain of their bond and then pushed herself into Smaug's being. In all her years, she knew that she would never forget the sensation of being inside the mind of something so different and alien to her own… it was unlike anything she had ever experienced and doubted she ever would again. As with the last time she had done this, the pain she experienced upon first entering was unbelievable and almost overwhelming! She physically screamed with her own body as she pushed her way past Smaug's mental barriers that he had erected due to the change; it was like her skin was being peeled off as she pushed herself through the defences of the dragon, as if his talons were raking down her flesh agonisingly slowly like torture. This wasn't like when Smaug had been open to her when they had been dying together, this was much worse, and Kathryn was sure that she was only hurting herself against the barriers and not making an inch of lead way. So, calling upon her magic, she made a shield around her own mental state and with all the force she could muster, she rammed into the walls surrounding Smaug's mind, her own magic breaking and fracturing under the pressure, and still the walls held. It took another three attempts before the wards finally broke and Kathryn's magic along with it, but she was finally in. But once she was through and inside, she went straight into the centre of his mind and very consciousness. But just like before, she felt lost within the gigantic expanse that was the dragon's mind. Kathryn felt herself being stretched across his mind as her being tried to comprehend him and his alien thoughts that tore at her like a hurricane wind, and it took all of her will power in order to keep herself rooted in one specific spot, only as big as a pea. Yet even then, she felt as if every thought inside the dragon's mind was like a rabid wolf, tearing at her viciously, teeth sinking into her flesh and trying to pull her apart at the seams. But she held on, stubbornly, she knew that she had to hold on!

Summoning her power to her, Kathryn pushed it into the dragon, and allowing her power to work along his body, noticing how his own magical reserves, once an ocean of power that had made her drunk with the thought of it, was severely depleted, only a dwindling spark and utterly spent. Their powers stirred together, creating a beautiful combination of glittering purple and deep red. Though Smaug's magic was weak from exhaustion and unresponsive, Kathryn saw her own magic fuel him, like food and water to a man in the desert, giving him sustenance and bringing him slowly back. She took control, and forced the Raw Magic to obey her will, flushing it through Smaug's body, along his veins, around his bones, through every muscle and organ. He had once saved her this way; she would try to do the same for him. She imagined him in his dragon form, picturing him as she had for the past sixty years of her life. She created an image of him purely from memory: every scale, every scar, every horn and tooth and claw, she brought it into her head as she focused on that and that alone. The magic seemed to respond to her thoughts, working through Smaug's body, going through every limb and organ and muscle as it worked its wonders, and encouraged by this, Kathryn concentrated on the image all the harder: Smaug beautiful and strong hide, his magnificent wingspan, his strong tail, his deadly but expressive hands, and his cruel but charming face with his beautiful eyes. She felt the scale necklace burn hot against her skin, as if in reaction to the magic at work, feeling as if it were a sword that had just been heated in the fires of the furnace at the forge.

Starting to feel the dizziness overcome her as exhaustion slowly crept up on her, Kathryn quickly finished her work, and was content that she had done what she could. But as soon as she tried to leave, she saw her magic come with her, and all her hard work slowly began to unravel like a poorly knitted scarf, coming apart and threatening to go back to what it had been. Desperately Kathryn remained in place, even though her mind began to lose focus and she almost blacked out from exhaustion. She had to find a way of keeping her magic within Smaug until he was able to complete the transformation on his own. It was as if he did not have the energy and was relying on her. So, Kathryn thought about how she could fuse –

Fuse! She thought excitedly. Of course!

Quickly she imagined a stream, a small creek, a flow of water from her to Smaug and back again, like a loop, just enough to drop off a small amount into each of them. She felt his own magic respond to her call, forming the stream with her own, so that their magic fused together into a current as strong as the River Running that flowed from the Lonely Mountain. With this, Kathryn wouldn't need to be inside of Smaug's head in order to make sure the magic went to him, it would flow to him naturally out of her to him and then his would come back to her. It was enough to keep her work on Smaug going so that he could complete the process on his own, the magic and energy generating inside of him once more. Finally happy and unable to fight her exhaustion any more, Kathryn allowed herself to slip back along the bond and back into her own body.

When she opened her eyes, she gasped in shock at the sight before her. Smaug had returned, her mighty and beautiful Smaug had come back to her: lying beside her in all his draconic glory. He was just as enormous as she remembered, his body, even curled up as tightly as it could, dwarfed the cave, his back reaching and brushing against the ceiling, his great wings tucked against his sides, his neck touching one wall of the cave whilst his tail was at the other, curving and circling around his body. And Kathryn was in the centre of the massive red coils, sitting beside the curve of his neck, his chest and one massive foreleg not far from her.

Kathryn smiled a true smile that felt as if it had taken a millennia to grace her face once more. For the moment, she did not want to think of the consequences, for Smaug was back with her, he was truly right in his real form, and she wouldn't have him any other way.

Her eyelids seemed suddenly so heavy, her body almost collapsing, unable to hold her even in a sitting position any more. A wave of dizziness overcame her, and Kathryn settled herself against Smaug's side, rubbing her face into the softer patch of his neck as she allowed her exhaustion to overtake her. She felt Smaug sigh and inch his face towards her smaller form, curling further around her as they both fell into the realms of unconsciousness.

She didn't know how much time had passed whilst she had lain unconscious, it could have been hours for all she knew. But as Kathryn awoke, she noticed immediately that some time had passed, for the torch that Faervel had left in the cave had burned out, and the light of the moon from the hole in the ceiling was replaced by the warmth of the sun. Kathryn's inner body clock told her that it was the morning, possibly even close to noon if the ray of sunlight that was coming straight down through the opening in the roof was any indication. Kathryn stretched out her back and arms as she yawned, rustling her hair to itch her scalp as she pulled herself away from Smaug's neck and furnace-like warmth of body heat. Kathryn took in a deep breath as she scented the familiar and oddly comforting scent of dragon. A deep musk filled with spice and the stench of smoke and sulphur. She smiled down sleepily at her dragon that still lay in slumber, his deep snores echoing in the small cave.

Crawling over to him, Kathryn settling herself so that she was sitting next to Smaug's head, her face only level with his spiked cheekbone due to his enormous size. She watched him sleep, that small and contented smile never leaving her face as she watched his eyes flicker slightly behind his eyelids as if he were in dreams. Absently, her hands began to move of their own accord as she began to stroke and scratch the tough dragon hide upon his cheek. Her mind wondered back to the days in the mountain, when everything had been simple, peaceful, even happy. If only Kathryn had learned of her love for Smaug then, what would her life be like now? Would it have changed anything? Perhaps not, and Kathryn didn't want to darken her pleasant mood by such thoughts and so focused on the here and now as she continued to fuss over Smaug.

Gradually, Smaug grumbled as he slowly awakened, the sound filled with such power and so much louder than what he had produced before in that monstrous half state. Kathryn smiled again, oddly relieved to hear that her dragon was back to how he should be. Was it bad of her to be thankful that the unstoppable perfect killer and destroyer was back?

Smaug eyes blinked open, his slit pupil slowly focusing as he his eyes shifted, looking about the small cave and the light coming in from the entrance and the hole above… until his eyes landed on Kathryn. Something warm and unexpected entered his gaze as he looked at her, a soft purr rumbling through his body as he inched his face closer to her until she was pressed against his cheek. He purred deeply, the vibrations going right through her and making her body tremble. Kathryn giggled, unable to stop herself as she felt the tickling sensation along her stomach and up her chest; was it considered weird or inappropriate to giggle when in the presence of a dragon, especially one such as Smaug? Kathryn decided not to bother thinking about it and went along with it as her smile broke across her entire face.

"Don't stop whatever you were doing with your hands," Smaug grumbled out, his voice a little hoarse but otherwise just as she remembered it. "That felt good,"

"You mean me scratching you?" she raised a brow at him, her smile turning into a grin. "I would have thought such a gesture would be below you, too much like a master and a pet."

"Not when it feels like that," Smaug growled softly. Kathryn laughed again, and then did as she was told and went back to scratching his tough hide. Smaug purred, once again the sound making Kathryn's body shiver as the sound passed through her and almost made her bones rattle.

Time passed and they just stayed that way, content in each other's company as they stayed together.

After a time, Smaug seemed to grow restless or uncomfortable, as he shifted about, trying to get his legs underneath him and move his bulk. But his limbs shook and wouldn't support his weight and he lay back to the earth heavily, panting from exertion.

"Don't Smaug, you're still too weak," Kathryn murmured softly.

Smaug opened one eye to glare at her. She only raised a brow at him.

"After you going through a hell like that and surviving, I think I'm allowed to say that just this once," she told him matter-of-factly.

Smaug grunted but did nothing else.

"You went into my mind," Smaug said after a few minutes of silence had lapsed between them. "I thought I told you never to do that again,"

"I don't think you did…" Kathryn said thoughtfully, almost teasingly, before her face grew more sombre and her tone more serious. "I couldn't let you suffer and die. I could do something so I did it,"

"Kathryn," Smaug growled out at her in a weak warning.

"If you were in my place, would you have let me linger in such pain and die?" She asked, cutting in before he could go on his high horse – or wings might be the case.

Smaug looked at her, his eyes unreadable as he stared at her, but finally conceded to her point.

"And besides," Kathryn shrugged. "Aren't you glad I stepped in? I mean, look at what happened," she gestured to his gigantic body.

"It is good to be back in my rightful magnificence," Smaug grumbled appreciatively.

"And you are ever the voice of humility, O Smaug," Kathryn smirked to herself.

Smaug chuckled, the sound wonderfully whole despite the fact that it sounded exhausted and only half of what he was capable of.

"Do you miss how it used to be?" Kathryn asked softly, looking at her fingers as she picked imaginary dirt from Smaug's cheek.

His only response was to fix his great eye upon her questioningly.

"I mean back before… before I left." She explained in a small voice. "Do you miss it?"

Smaug watched her, his gaze never leaving her face, taking in every aspect of her, eye never blinking as if the moment would shatter if he did.

"More than you could ever know," he rumbled softly. "Do you?"

"More than you already know," she gave him a small, sad smile. "What do you think would have happened if we never met?"

"What?"

"If you had never found me that day, if you never kept me… what do you think would have happened? Would things be different? Would it be better?" she asked.

"Do you regret it?" He asked, hurt entering his voice – or as much as he would allow.

"You know I don't," she reassured him. "But I can only wonder,"

"Such curiosity can only lead to ill feelings in your heart, dear Kathryn," he murmured.

"Just indulge me,"

"Fine." He said almost grumpily. "If we had never met – impossible in other words as there is no way on this earth I would have heard that voice and not gone after it. But if we had never "met" then I would have stayed in my mountain, done as I pleased, and I would have destroyed Lake-Town on that same fateful night. Your coming did not cause it nor could it prevent it."

"Sounds like you would have been better off," Kathryn mused.

"No. For I would have lost the chance at having the only beautiful, honest and pure thing in my life." He growled at her softly, his eyes staring down at her with an unbreakable gaze as a warmth and a sadness filled his expression.

Kathryn was left speechless by his words, warmth filling her as her heart swelled with pride and affection. After a few moments of silence, Kathryn thought she had composed herself enough and so smiled at him bravely before she spoke.

"And I would have rotted away in that ruin of a city, struggling to live, all alone, I probably would have gone insane in due time. Lucky you found me, isn't it?"

"I don't believe in such luck," Smaug told her. "As I said, there is no way I would have heard that voice and ignored it. I knew I had to have it, and now would gladly take the heart of the woman with it. No matter the path, you and I would have met either way. There are no other events that would lead to anything different. If you would like the term, it was 'fated'."

"Oh how wonderful," Kathryn said with false sarcasm, a teasing smile tugging on her lips. "I am destined to love a gigantic, destructive, arrogant lizard,"

Smaug scoffed at her, but chuckled again, though his eyes slowly closed over. He jolted himself awake not a second later, eyes snapping open with a growl. Kathryn lay a comforting hand up towards his snout, smiling encouragingly.

"Sleep," she murmured soothingly. "You need your rest."

Smaug scowled disapprovingly.

"I'll sing for you if you wish," she suggested. Smaug seemed a little more interested now. "Sleep Smaug, I'm right here," and she reached up and gently kissed the corner of his scaly lips, the only place she could reach whilst still sitting.

Smaug purred softly, his gaze growing affectionate as he nuzzled his face closer to her body, almost squashing her against his foreleg. The tip of his tail then swept around and wound itself around Kathryn's ankle taking a firm but tender hold on her. Smaug's lips tugged into a form of smile, before he closed his eyes in preparation for sleep.

Kathryn smiled warmly, unable to deny the swell of love she felt in her soul, allowing it to race along the bond so that he could feel it. And then she sang for him.

"May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh, How far you are from home

Mornie utulie...
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantie...
A promise lives within you now

May it be the shadow's call
Will fly away
May it be you journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun

Mornie utulie...
Believe and you will find your way

Mornie alantie...
A promise lives within you now

A promise lives within you now..."

As she sang, Smaug slowly fell into unconsciousness once again, his eyes closing, and his breathing becoming deep and even as he was lost to dreams. Kathryn sat beside him, utterly content in that moment as she smiled at him, softly laying her face against the warmth of his cheek, just listening to him breathe and feeling his heart strong and powerful beneath her flesh.

And in that moment, everything was perfect. She wanted it to never end.

But like everything else that was good in her life, it had to.

She was faintly aware of the sound of footsteps, and was instantly panicked: was it a hunter? A soldier? She looked up towards the cave entrance, and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that it was Faervel. She looked over to Smaug worriedly, but the dragon did not stir, obviously too exhausted and in too deep an unconscious state in order to be disturbed.

"Fearvel," Kathryn said softly, her voice filled with the apology she had thought of in the back of her mind. "Please, forgive me I –"

Faervel held up a hand, silencing her as he closed his eyes as if against an irritation or due to pain. When he looked at her, his hurt gaze was enough to wound her soul with guilt.

"You lied to me," he said quietly, his voice filled with sorrow and slight anger.

"I had to," she said miserably. "You would never have believed me nor helped me if I told you the truth. But know that I told you as much of the truth as I could,"

"And so this is Smaug, the dragon dread…" Faervel whispered as he looked at Smaug's impressive size, his face going pale as he took in the might of the creature that lay harmless before him. "You forced me to help the Dragon of Tyranny,"

Kathryn bowed her head, unable to find the words to explain herself.

"Yet you love him? Was that a lie?" Faervel asked, his voice confused and hurt.

"No, that was not a lie, Faervel," Kathryn whispered. "I love him. More than I have anything else in this whole world,"

"Kathryn…" Faervel sighed, his hand coming up to his head tiredly, his face pinched with exhaustion and sorrow. "Kathryn… this is too much for me to believe… But you are my friend, and the dragon has bewitched you –"

"He has bewitched me into nothing!" Kathryn said defiantly. "I do love him –"

"I do not doubt that what you feel is truth, Kathryn," Faervel said softly, coming down to kneel as close as he dared with the dragon's coils separating him from the human woman. "What I doubt is this beast's sincerity in the matter. I do not trust him, and that is why I am taking you back to the city."

"What?!" Kathryn demanded, her eyes going wide with fear and panic. "No! Faervel, you can't!"

"I'm sorry," Faervel closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at her. His hands balled into fists as he stood, a mask of determination coming over his face. "But either you come with me now back to Vathvael, or I go back and bring every soldier the castle has to this cave where they can kill this dragon. If you come with me, you can tell me everything – the whole truth – and you can try to convince me of your plight and I will not tell a soul about him until I hear everything. But if you don't I can have half of Dorwinion's army here before the end of the next hour. The choice is yours."

Kathryn sat there, utter horror and disbelief filling her entire being as she looked up at Faervel with pleading, tearful eyes. She shook her head, turning away from him when he wouldn't relinquish his gaze, she quietly sobbed. He despair eclipsing her in that moment.

"Kathryn…" she heard Faervel's mournful whisper close beside her. "Please do not think of me as evil in this. I just… I want you safe, and despite the fact that I would wish you anywhere but that corrupt rat-hole of a city, it is the safest place for you against this creature. But I am giving you the chance to convince me of the truth; you can tell me everything and I will decide for myself,"

"You won't trust him," Kathryn whispered, her voice stinging with the betrayal she felt. "No matter what I tell you,"

"I can't unless you help me to," he pleaded. "Kathryn… please…"

Kathryn refused to look at him, instead gazing at her beautiful Smaug as he lay sleeping, completely unaware that she would have to leave him again, just like before. She had sung for him, he had slept and she had left. It was all happening again.

Tears of grief were flowing down her cheeks as her shaking hands slowly unwound the end of Smaug's tail from her ankle, and she stood. She bit her lip to stop herself from weeping fully, as she slowly leaned in and kissed Smaug's scaly hide, ignoring Faervel's attempts to hide his disgust.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to her beloved dragon.

And then, she followed the elf out of the cave and left.

A/N: Hey so I pulled out another Chapter in the same week! I love you guys!

This chapter was my absolute FAVOURITE to write so far, and I think most of you can guess why.

Now, an important announcement to make: We have our winners for the Competition! Yay! :D So, in third place: DevMisery22, I will be sending you an extract of the next chapter as soon as I can :) . In second place: DracoBrooklyn, I will be sending you a short story of your choice as soon as possible! ;) And in first place: Faerydae! I will be talking with you soon in order to talk over your OC! BIG THANK YOU to everyone who entered the competition, it was really difficult to decide, but we (the judges, myself, mussymay14 and special guest) had to come to a decision. But a big big thank you to every one, it was really wonderful to see your love and support of this series. :')

Another thing to quickly say: next week's update may be a little slow as I have two written assignments to finish. But shouldn't be too long a wait.

And please review this chapter! Tell me what you thought of: Smaug calming down? Kathryn helping him through the change? The first song? Their conversation? the second song? Faervel's ultimatum?

Until next time lovelies! :D xXx