Full Circle

Chapter 13- Walking around naked would be good.

AN: Hey everyone here is the latest chapter this one focuses on Fitz. I am doing a time jump in the next chapter just to move the story along more but I will be doing flashbacks to give us a little more insight into this time of their lives. This one is a little shorter than normal but I do have the next chapter done I just need to edit it so hopefully that will be up in the next couple of days. Enjoy your day! I have included the rose garden scene from 2x08 and this is shown in italics no copyright intended.

The first day for Fitz was strange, Olivia was gone but not like all the other times sure he couldn't talk or phone her or even see her but this time Olivia was actually leaving to get better, to get healthier for her and for him. He was up late waiting for Abby to give him a call to let him know that Olivia had got there safely.

He had a restless night hoping Olivia was coping ok, she was the strongest person he knew but knowing Olivia this would be hard for her to accept help. He hoped she would talk and open up to the people there and hopefully at the end she would be more open with him.

Abby came in the Oval early in the morning informing him of all the meetings he had for the day and other countless work to keep him busy and stop his mind from wondering about Olivia.

As Fitz is nearing the end of his time as president he has been seeing a therapist for the past few weeks in order to help him for when he re enters as a normal every citizen so to say. The hardest part will be adjusting to living outside of The White House and being able to do far more than he has been able to do over the past 8 years. He'll still be known as the 44th president of The United States and he will still have secret service just nowhere near as much as what he has been accustomed too.

'So Fitz I understand that the past few days have been eventful for you how has that been?'

'At first it was very hard to deal with, I didn't know what the right thing to do was, a part of me wanted to not care and be able to move on but it's Olivia. I don't know what made her decide to come and tell me about the erm the abortion as the previous day she was telling me she was leaving with him again. Seeing her distraught and panicked I knew it was something serious and in a way it has brought us closer. I hope.'

'You don't seem so sure about that. How do you feel about Olivia?'

'I love her of course I love her but particularly over the past year I've realised that sometimes love isn't enough. I can't keep hoping for the both of us, I can't keep wanting it for the both us, I need her to show me hope and wanting. I'm going to be there for her however I can but if she comes back and realises that she just wants to be friends I will support that. I'm more wary now when it comes to us, whenever it seems that we are finally getting our chance something or someone comes and pulls the rug from under us.'

'Would you be able to do that just be friends?'

'Honestly I don't know, it hasn't really worked out for us in the past we've always come back together in the end. I know it'll be hard but I love her and I would do that for her no matter how hard it will be to just be friends'.

'Good. Let's talk about your time after The White House. Do you have any concerns?'

'I should say no that I think everything will be ok once I'm out of this place and living like a normal person in a normal place being able to drive myself and cook for myself but politics is all I've known. I was groomed for this and now I can finally be my own man and be who I want to be but the world is still somewhat watching and I don't know what to do, where to live, who to trust things like that. Do I stay in DC? Do I go to Vermont and hope that's what Liv wants? Or will it be something completely different? For the first time in my life I don't have a plan.'

'Then there is the added factor of Mellie she has Teddy and I want to be able to see him as much as I can but I know she will just be spiteful for the sake of it'.

Dr Fisher scribbles a couple of notes on his pad he notes that the 'what ifs' of it all is the most concerning factor for Fitz.

'Ok let's discuss some of the things you are looking forward to doing once leaving – things you haven't been able to do in here'.

'Having that feeling of being home, this place never felt like home it can be quite suffocating plus so many things have happened here I'm looking forward to a change of place. Being able to go where I want with less secret service would be nice. Being able to drive again and have that freedom that comes with it. Being able to cook my own meals and do my own shopping, you know I can't remember the last time I set foot in a store unless it was to do with campaigning or photo ops. Having no cameras in each room would be good sometimes it can be a little unnerving knowing that you every move is under surveillance. Oh and walking around naked would be good.'

Fitz and Dr Fisher let out a small chuckle at his last sentence.

'I see. Well Fitz that concludes today's session I look forward to seeing you next week'.

They shook hands and Fitz escorted him out of the oval, once alone he went to the window overlooking the rose garden. 8 years ago everything seemed so shiny and new it was a whole new world but years later the realisation was that everything is dark and murky with back door dealings and that there are people even he can't control.

8 years later and Fitz is now divorced, single father with his first born dead and in a very complicated love life. He chuckles to himself thinking of how ridiculous his life is, he is the most powerful man in the world but yet his personal life is like a story line from a TV show.

'What's wrong? You pace in circles when something's wrong. When you're just thinking, it's back and forth, but when something's wrong Circles.'

'Did you need something, Mr. President?'

'See, you used to sound sexy when you called me "Mr. President." Now it just sounds like I'm a gym teacher.'

'Did you need something?'

'The Sally hemming- Thomas Jefferson comment - was below the belt.'

'Because it's so untrue?'

'You're playing the race card on the fact that I'm in love with you? Come on. Don't belittle us.
It's insulting and beneath you and designed to drive me away. I'm not going away'.

'I don't have to drive you away. You're married, you have children, you're the leader of the free world. You are away. By definition, you're away. You're unavailable.'

'So this is about Mellie?'

'N-no! This is I smile at her and I take off my clothes for you. I wait for you. I watch for you.
My whole life is you. I can't breathe because I'm waiting for you. You own me. You control me.
I-I belong to you. I'

'You own me! You control me. I belong to you. You think I don't want to be a better man? You think that I don't want to dedicate myself to my marriage? You don't think I want to be honourable, to be the man that you voted for? I love you. I'm in love with you. You're the love of my life.
My every feeling is controlled by the look on your face. I can't breathe without you.
I can't sleep without you. I wait for you. I watch for you. I exist for you. If I could escape all of this and run away with you There's no Sally or Thomas here. You're nobody's victim, Liv. I belong to you. We're in this together.'

He comes out of his memory and smiles this was the first time he truly felt like he understood liv's feelings for him. And everything they said to each other was true, even after all this time Olivia still controls him, his whole reason for being on this place was for her. The only difference is this time he is no longer married and he can be a better man for her.

He decided to call it a day and go up to the residence with tomorrow a big day and he hopefully will be able to make Olivia's life just a little bit easier for when she returns. He just hopes her gladiators have been able to gather everything they need to make it stick.