Over 200K words! Woo! That's quite a feat. Hopefully, I'll be done before the 300K count. I can't make promises at this point because I feel bad if it don't keep them.

Read On!

Pouring the gray paint in to the tray, TJ rubbed the sleep out his eyes. It was only 6:30 a.m., and the sun was just beginning to rise and shine through the window. It was Saturday, and since he wanted to have his room painted before Sunday arrived, he had no choice but to do it early in the morning, before Zack woke up and wanted to come in. He had gotten up a half hour ago to push what he could out into the hallway and what he couldn't into the middle of his room. Duracell's cage was placed in Zack's room the night before; he was excited to have his favorite animal sleeping with him. Looking around, he double checked the walls to make sure that the one wall he wanted to keep bare of the gray paint to paint with black later was marked off with two pieces of painters tape in the shape of an X.

He dipped the edger in the paint and smeared the excess off on the tray. He picked the second smallest wall, the one with the window, and painted the edges to avoid a mess.

He choose gray to paint his room with because of his fondness of the color. It reminded him of the place he had been calling home since he was 13. It had plenty of painful memories (Johnny, suicidal Septembers, his own suicide attempt, Tommy Gun), but it also had plenty of good ones. He wouldn't trade his three best friends for anything in the world.

He picked the black paint for no particular reason.

He rolled paint onto the roller and looked at his watch. He wanted to be done putting the paint on in two hours to leave enough time for it to dry and to put everything back in its place. The furniture was black, matching the soon to by gray walls, though that was unintentional as TJ had no goal of decorating a room he only planned to be in for a year or two.

He sneezed, the fumes from the paint going into his nose. It was still cool outside, but warmer than it has been for the last week. He put down the paint roller and cracked open the window to let a small breeze in the clear the air, but not to freeze him. By now the first wall was almost done.

While he and Zack where looking at colors for him to pick out, Zack tried to convince him to paint his room red after he mentioned that it used to be his favorite color. He was able to calm Zack down by promising to have red curtains and not red walls, but the conversation on that particular color reminded him of his infamous red cap.

He still had it; it was in the box that he brought home from Duval. It was a little worn in and slightly faded, but it was his hat. Once he had it back, he put it on, but it didn't feel right. I blamed that on him being a different person than the last time he wore it, but it wasn't comfortable anymore. However, he wasn't going to throw it away.

"I could give it to Zack," He mumbled, finishing his first wall. "Like a hand-me-down. It might be too big for him…..but it was too big for me when I was his age, too."

As they picked through the colors at the paint store, TJ remembered how the paint on the walls of Zack's room has faded form the bright baby blue he saw when he broke out of Duval to its current shade. The walls still had the markings of crayons and markers being scrubbed off the walls. His little brother commented on how he didn't like the color of his room; he said his favorite colors are "a dusty kind of green," a "Nickelodeon orange," and "purple like the grape juice."

Adding that to his growing list of things to do, he made a mental note to look for colors similar to what Zack described, and to somehow paint his room those colors without him knowing.

Now that he was done painting the first three walls, TJ took out his phone to check the time. 8:00 am. Three more hours until Vince was supposed to come over and drop of his little sister and her two bunnies.

A creak from his door caught his attention as he looked over the walls for any spots he missed. He turned to see Zack, clad in footie pajamas coming in.

"Hey, Zack. What are you doing up this early?" TJ asked, walking over to him. He kneeled down to his height. "Did Duracell wake you up?" Zack shook his head and yawned.

"The light from the sun woke me up," Zack yawned. "Are you done painting?"

"Not yet. I have one more wall to paint. Are you up this early every Saturday?"

"Uh-huh. I watch cartoons. Can you turn them on for me?"

"Sure." Seeing that he was still sleepy, TJ picked up his little brother and carried him into the living room. After he found the remote, he turned on the TV and turned the channel to Nickelodeon. "Are you hungry?"

"Not yet," Said Zack. "Thank you, TJ."

"You're welcome, Zack. Come and get me when you're hungry, I'll make you breakfast, okay?"

"'Kay."

When he was back in his room, TJ found the can of black paint and started to paint the last wall. Because of the color, he painted multiple coats to be careful he didn't miss any spots. On his third coat he could smell food being cooked downstairs, freeing him of the job of making his brother breakfast. He sat on hi bed, giving himself a break while checking the wall for the smallest missed spots.

After a few minutes he checked the other walls to make sure they were dry before pushing his bed back to where it was before. When he opened the door to move in the rest of his thing, Zack was standing outside of his door holding a bowl of oatmeal.

"Breakfast," Zack said smiling and holding the bowl up higher. "You like oatmeal?"

"I don't know I haven't had any in a long time," TJ said. "Is that for me?" Zack nodded and TJ took the hot bowl from his hands. "Thanks for bringing it up for me."

"Are you done painting now?"

"Yep, and I'm moving everything back in when I'm done eating. Have you eaten yours yet?"

"No. Can you sit on the couch and eat and watch cartoons with me?"

"Sure. What's on?" TJ asked as he walked with his little brother downstairs.

"The Rugrats. Chuckie's my favorite. C'mon, it's starting!"

~*~V~*~

"TJ! TJ! Valarie's here!" Zack shouted as he ran into TJ's room.

"Really? I didn't hear the doorbell ring…"

"I saw her and her brother coming from my window!"

"Okay, okay. Let's go meet them at the door." TJ followed Zack, who was now fully dressed, to the front door. All of his things were now back in his room. The only wall that had nothing on or against it was the wall painted black. He had a feeling that he would use that wall for something, but didn't know what that would be. Duracell's cage was the last thing that he moved back in; he had to hammer nails to hang the curtain rods for the curtains, and his rabbit went crazy hearing loud banging noises.

He didn't wait for the doorbell to be rung before he opened the door. Valarie was stepping onto the porch with Vince carrying a cage with two small rabbits close behind.

"Zack I brung my bunnies!" She said, coming inside. "You better not be lying mister!" She said pointing to TJ. "You better have a bunny like you said."

"I do, I promise," TJ said, holding the door open. "She's upstairs in her cage, eating."

"C'mon, I'll show you," Zack said, going upstairs with Valarie behind him. TJ closed the door once Vince was inside.

"I'm surprised you came. Didn't think you wouldn't," TJ said, leading him to his room.

"Valarie wouldn't shut up about today. There was no way I could talk her out of it," Vince said. "She's stubborn when she want's something."

"At least she won't bother you for the next few hours. You can put the cage down here," he said when they reached his room. Zack and Valarie were sitting on the floor, looking into Duracell's cage.

"Can she come out her cage?" Zack asked.

"Yeah, I'll get her. Valarie, do you want to take your bunnies out?"

"Uh-huh!" While TJ let Duracell out and onto the floor, Valarie did the same with her two rabbits. TJ sat on his bed to give them more room to play on the floor. "This one is Ice Cream," Valarie said, point to the white rabbit with gray spots all over. "That one's Cake." She pointed to the completely light gray rabbit.

As the little kids and animals played on the floor, TJ opened his laptop. From the corner of his eye, he could see that Vince hadn't left; he was still standing in the doorway.

"You don't have to stay here," TJ said, not taking his eye off his computer. "I'm not going to hurt her, if that's what you think."

"Oh, um, I know," Said Vince."It's just…."

"I'm still me. I get it," He said. "Stay as long as you want, I don't care. But I'm not going to hurt your little sister either way either way."

"TJ, what's it mean when bunnies lick each other?" Zack asked. TJ looks down on the fllor and saw Duracell being licked by Cake. "Do they like each other?"

"That's right."

"You should draw a picture, Zack. You draw really good pictures," Valarie said.

"'Kay. My crayons are in my room." The two of them got to their feet and left the room, leaving their brothers and the rabbits behind.

"What's going on with you?" TJ asked, moving to sit on the floor. "Are you the captain of every sports team?"

"I'm not on every team, just the basketball team. And I'm not the captain," Said Vince. "Lawson is."

"That must suck. He's always been an asshole."

"He actually not that bad. He gets an ego sometimes, but he's good. What about you? Did you play any sports in juvie?"

"We don't have sports in juvie. We didn't have any equipment to play. The most we could scrape up was soccer. And dodgeball."

"Are you gonna try to join the soccer team?"

"No. I'm not a fan of sports," TJ said as Duracell hopped over and onto Vince's shoe.

"You're a fan of little fluffy bunnies."

"….yeah, I am."

"...Okay. I think….i think I'll leave. Can you get your rabbit off my shoe?" TJ snapped his fingers two times and Duracell came over to him.

"I'm planning on going out for pizza later. If you come back to pick Valarie up later and she's not here, we'll be at that one place that has pizza and arcade games. Davies I think it's called."

"Alright. Thanks for babysitting."

"Mmm-hmm."

~*~V~*~

"So how'd it go?"

With his little sister wanting to go over to her friend's house which also happened to be the so-called devils den, Vince called his friends for any necessary backup. As he dropped his sister off and stayed to see if there was any real danger, the others waited over at Spinelli's house for a phone call telling them to come over. The phone never came. Instead, their concerns were put to rest when Vince walked through the door.

"He….he's…."Vince said, struggling to come up with an answer. "He's harmless."

"Harmless?" Gus said in disbelief.

"Yeah, harmless. He has a pet rabbit named Duracell. Like the battery. A guy like that CAN'T be that bad," Said Vince. "Any guy who has a pet rabbit of all things is a push over. And possibly gay. He's not going to do anything. If I thought he would, I wouldn't have left my sister over there. He's even taking them out of pizza later. He's harmless."

"Perhaps Theresa was right, Gus," Gretchen suggested. "Spending all that time behind bars could've changed him. You never know."

"He said that he would take them to Davies later. I'm going there to pick Valarie up later. You should come if you're so concerned, but I think we're worrying over nothing."

~*~V~*~

"Okay, you two go play. I'll call you all over when the pizza comes."

TJ watched Zack and Valarie run off to the indoor playground as he sat down at one of the available booths. From his seat he could keep an eye on them. At home, the rabbits were in their separate cages after playing all day. He half expected Vince to show up with the others, only because it didn't seem like the whole him actually being there was going to die down anytime soon. Until the pizza came, he was on his phone texting Specs and Bandit. They exchanged numbers through the letters they were writing to one another.

~*~TJ's POV~*~

Specs said he's trying to go to college. Good for him. He'll probably go for something only really smart people can go for, like nuclear physics or something. He says he doesn't want to go, but that no one's going to take him seriously if he doesn't have a degree.

Bandit says he doesn't know what he wants to do. Something with music, but he doesn't know yet. Like me.

JoJo hasn't mentioned college. He's focusing on his case. Last I heard, that tape was being looked over.

I think I want to go to college.

I can move my eye now. It's still infected, but the discoloration is gone and I can move it. I don't have to wear the shades anymore, but I do. I tried on the red contact lenses, too. I look possessed by the devil with them on.

I'm wearing them to school Monday, without the shades. Can't wait.

I see Vince just came in, the others right behind them.

"Your sister is over at the playground with Zack," I told them when they all came over. "I ordered pizza, but I didn't expect all of you to come."

"I didn't plan for them to come either," Said Vince. "But some of them didn't believe me when I said you were harmless."

'Harmless?' I thought. 'I'm not harmless. Mostly harmless, but not completely.'

"Let me guess. Gus said that, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, that was me," Gus said. "It's nothing against you personally!"

"I'm not going to hurt anyone, Gus. My whole experience in Duval made me not want to hurt any one. Would it make you feel better if I told you want that experience was?"

"A little bit."

"Fine then. You all better listen because I'm only saying all off this once. When I got there, I was given a roommate named JoJo. He was jerk at first, but he's okay. That same day I met another inmate called Tommy Gun. He wouldn't leave me alone and punched the entire left side of my face. That whole side of my face was swollen for a month. I could see through my left eye and it looked like if I touched it, it would bleed. Because I was new I got treated like shit. It's all about seniority in there. I tried to figure out some way to move up the peeking order. Then I saw the guards making the inmates fight for Chinese food for their own entertainment. The food in there was crap, so I don't blame those inmates for fighting. When the bruising went away, Tommy Gun came around and cut my face. That's how I got this scar." He paused to good over the scar with his finger, but not taking off the shades. "I had to go to the hospital to get stitches. Right after I came back, I was put in the white rooms. The white rooms are where they put inmates who the guards say are a danger to themselves or everyone else. I don't understand why I was put in there. I wasn't hurting anyone. It's exactly what it sounds like: a white room, lined with plush walls. It looked nice, because I was way from all the noise of the normal dorms. I hated every part of it, but I didn't hate it until the second time I went in there.

"The first time I was in there, I realized what I did you guys and everyone else was wrong and horrible. I wrote that letter to you guys to apologize, remember that letter? I wrote it, and mailed it. The same day I came out of the write rooms I wrote it. I had a weird dream that night. I was looking at myself, but I was ten years old. My younger self told me he didn't want to turn into me. I still have that dream sometimes.

"JoJo introduced me to his friends. I'm still friends with them. Two of them are out on parole now, but JoJo's still in jail. You know JoJo, right Spinelli? He was the one that called you a Trick. I don't think he meant it as an insult. He gives people nicknames. He gave me Freckles, and I think he was giving you Trick. Later that day, I saw another inmate being brought out in a body bag. There's this thing in there called Suicidal September. It's when a lot of the inmates decide to kill themselves. It takes place in April and drags into May, but Suicidal September sounded better, according to JoJo. I thought they were lucky because they got to leave. They were creative in how they killed themselves, too. One guy hanged himself in front of everyone by jumping off the stairs with a noose around his neck. Another snatched one of the guards guns and shot himself. One electrified himself in a puddle using a taser gun.

I wanted to know what it felt like, as sick as that sounds.

And then I was put back in the white rooms. That's when I hated it.

"If you didn't do what the guards said they would beat the inmates. These were kids. Some of them were 10 and those guards who were triple their age would beat them for not listening. When you got into your room, the lights never went out and they always buzzed. Something the guards decided to fuck with us and turn the lights on and off, on and off. These rooms didn't have bathrooms, you had to ask the guards to let you out, but they didn't always say yes. We didn't eat everyday either. We skipped plenty of meals and sometimes didn't eat for days. A few of them, including me, were put into strait jackets and given a tranquilizer. And there was this one inmate that was across from me. His name was Johnny. He was in there since he was nine. We kept each other company, though we could talk to each other because of the doors. But the doors had glass on them, so we blew steam onto the glass and wrote. He was so sweet. He said he loved me, and I told him I loved him back."

"You said you loved him?" Asked Gus. "So does that mean you're, you know, gay?"

"No, I'm not gay."

"So you're straight then?"

"No."

"Then what are you?"

"There's a little thing called bisexual, Gus. Let me finish. So I told him I loved him, and I did love him. A couple of weeks later he said he loved me again, I told him I loved him again, but I knew something was wrong. He then said what was about to happen wasn't my fault and not to blame myself. Then he backed up and ran head first into the door, snapping his neck and killing himself. I cried for so long after that. I still miss him. He didn't deserve that.

"I don't know how long after that I was taken out of the white rooms, but when I was I has gotten a the letter from you guys saying how you all were never going to forgive me. It pushed me a little too far. I had a knife under my pillow. I took it, and I laid in bed. I tried to kill myself by slitting both my wrists." He paused and showed them the scars left on his wrists. "JoJo must've found me because I woke up in the hospital. When I was out, me and my friend made a pact to protect each other. Tommy Gun wouldn't leave me alone though. I needed to find a way to make money. That's when I started to sell drugs. I made a crazy amount of money from that. I started out selling meth, and that moved to cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, LSD….I did some of those myself. Not all the time; once or twice a month was my limit. I even sold drugs to the guards. One of those guards raped me 'cause I wouldn't sell him any. When I turned 15, I was moved over to the older dorms. There was huge racial divide in there, but they didn't bother us.

"Tommy Gun kept harassing me every day. I couldn't tell if he was joking or was hitting on me, but I wanted it to stop. He kept trying to get me to 'work' for him but I didn't know what that meant. I had stopped selling drugs by then. It turned out he wanted me to be a hooker for him. I didn't, but I the only way to get Tommy to leave me alone was to actually do it, just not for him. So I did it. I sold myself, but not for cheap. I had good paying and loyal customers too. One guy paid up to $400 dollars. If I had to guess, I would say that I slept with at the very least I slept with half of the guys in there. But I stopped for the month Francis and Spinelli were in there with me.

"Tommy Gun, being the sadistic bastard he is, came and offered me $5000 dollars to sleep with him. I loathe him, but I couldn't turn that much money down. Not then, and not the next three times. And I don't care what you all think about me for saying this, but he was amazing. He sent me to the moon and back every time we slept together. I hated him for being the one to be able to do that. I shook him off, but after a series of unfortunate events, I did end up working for him. The others came to my rescue after a few days, and Tommy finally got the message.

"That was about it until I got the form to apply for parole. I didn't expect to get approved, but I was, and here I am. I can't leave the state, or get into trouble or they'll lock me up again. Now you all know. I hope it makes you all feel better."

They weren't expecting that, were they? They were expecting me to say I got in, took charge, and got out. Not have a whole story. That's what I expected when I first got there.

"I don't want to hurt people anymore," I told them. "But that's it. I don't want to, but I know myself enough to know that I have issues that make that hard for me. I'm a pyromaniac, and I have psychopathic tendencies, but I'm trying to help that. I am sorry for doing all those things when I was younger, and making up for it is going to be next to impossible, but I'm trying. Give me that. I'm trying to put that behind me and move on. I don't want to hurt people anymore. And I know for most people in this town, it's hard to believe, and I don't expect everyone to forgive me. I just want to let you all know that."

"How?" Spinelli asked. "How are you trying to help it?"

"The courts assigned me a psychologist, Mr. Simmons. I talk to him once a week. I thought it was bullshit, but he's helps a lot."

"And you mean it when you say you're trying?"

"Yep."

"…..Alright. I'll bite. I'll give you another chance. But know that I'm careful about this whole thing. What about the rest of you?" Slowly, one by one they agreed.

"Thanks."

"TJ! TJ!" I turned and saw Zack and Valarie running over. "Is the pizza here yet? I'm hungry."

"Almost. It's coming over right now, see?" I pointed over to the waiter bring over the pizza. "Are you guys staying to eat? I can order another one if it's not enough." They all nodded and sat down in the booth. Zack sat on my lap and Valarie sat on Vince's.

I had to order another pizza. I didn't know little kids could eat so much, and you have six teenagers, four of which are guys, two of those guys being proud gluttons. I didn't say much aside from the ordering another pizza. Mostly listened as they talked about what's been going on in their live while I was gone. Zack and Valarie were having their own conversation.

We ended up staying there two hours longer than I planned. It was okay; I had nothing else planned for the day.

Tomorrow is another matter.

Wasn't expecting that, did you? Thought I'd throw that in there. Next chapter will go slower, but it'll be nice.

Please Review!