Chapter 17 – Self-Control

"Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave." - Rainer Maria Rilke

Her dreams were clouded, a simple whirlwind of flickering images and scattered sounds, nothing for her to focus on. Kathryn tried to make sense of it all, but she couldn't, for every time she tried to grasp at something and focus on it, but it would slip through her fingers like smoke. Eventually she became dizzy and sick from all the noise and movement that only grew in speed and volume until it was pounding against her ears and assaulting all of her senses.

But then, the fog began to dim, the whirlwind merely drifting and slowing to a gentle breeze that faded away, and revealed something quite unexpected.

Kathryn felt her breath freeze for a moment, as she found herself standing before the great gate of silver, behind which she could see a path to the greatest garden she had ever seen. On either side of the path, all manner of creatures lurked in the shadows, never fully seen; and in the trees, Kathryn thought she saw a glimmer on the leaves. It was like sparkling dew on a cold spring morning, but instead, the sparkle was in colours of the rainbow, but only detectable at the right angle. But in those colours, Kathryn saw flashing images, pictures, faces, some rather realistic, others that looked as if they were taken straight from the minds of children.

And that's when Kathryn realised: they were dreams. All along the leaves, branches, flowers and even blades of grass, passing from one to the next, flowing down the lane beyond the gate like a softly flowing river, were dreams. Kathryn could only stare in wonder as she looked at it all.

"Mae govannen Kathryn," Kathryn heard a voice, deep and rumbling yet light and musical. She jumped and turned her startled gaze to see a familiar shadow not three feet from her. The man who was taller and dressed in light armour, his presence soothing her, his slim physique not dominating or imposing. She remembered the talk she had with Smaug upon her balcony, was this Irmo? The god of dreams? Kathryn didn't quite know what to say if he was, but still she was weary.

"Who are you?" she asked in a shaky voice. The figure didn't answer her question, instead, he merely held out his hand to her. Kathryn stared at the hand, draped in shadow so that she could see any distinguishing features, the same as the rest of the man. But she felt compelled, something within her singing, urging, begging her to reach out. And hesitantly, she placed her hand in his. His long fingers wrapped around her hand softly, delicately, as if she would break, and he gently, encouragingly brought her closer to him, and to the gate. "What is this?" Kathryn whispered as she stared at the silver gate and the lane of dreams beyond.

"Olórë Mallë…" the man whispered reverently, and Kathryn felt a shiver run down her spine as her blood suddenly responded within her veins to the very mention of the name. She knew that name from somewhere, she knew it… but where?

She then felt her hand move again as the man at her back guided her hand towards the bars of the gate. Just before her fingers touched it, Kathryn felt a sense of panic wash through her and she stopped, an unknown fear sweeping through her at the thought that she didn't know what would happen when she touched those bars. But then, she felt that comforting presence behind her, and that soft voice, like a father whispering to a child.

"Sana sina," he said, and although Kathryn didn't know the Elvish words, she felt as if some part of her mind understood them ever so faintly. "Ar' Lle nauva ele… Ta naa detholalle,"

Kathryn tried to process the words, and she felt a sense of belief come over that she should touch the gate. So, taking in a steadying breath, with one half of her mind screaming at her for trusting this vision, Kathryn slowly reached out and touched the bars of the gate.

Instantly, Kathryn felt a rush jump through her body, electrocuting her as if lightning had struck her. It raced along her bones and filled her up until she thought she would burst from it! Then, she suddenly felt herself being swept away, the scene of the path, the gate and the man gone, and in a flash, it was all replaced with an eerily familiar setting.

Kathryn was on the boards of Lake Town, in between the buildings themselves, she looked down to see herself in light armour, with a strange thin sword and an amulet around her neck where her scale necklace should be. Kathryn was most confused, and reached up to look at the amulet better –

She gasped when she saw that her flesh was no longer pale, instead, it was a misty blue! She looked as if she were a blue cloud of mist that had taken form, and for a sickening moment, Kathryn wondered if she was dead! But then, she reminded herself that she had already been dead, that had been torture, not a dream. Kathryn looked around the empty streets of Lake Town, and with a start realised that she was standing beside a large man dressed in heavy silver armour. The knight looked at her, and Kathryn felt something inside her connect to him, and she felt compelled to his side, as if she knew that he was good, as if she could trust him.

But then, suddenly, all of Lake Town began to tremble and quake as if the earth itself were splitting apart, and Kathryn felt a thrum of fear in her veins as she felt her blood and magic respond to something, recoiling from a deep evil she felt in the air. Something arose from the waters beside Lake Town, and Kathryn looked up… and up… and up, horror dawning on her features as she beheld the monstrosity before her. An anthropomorphic dragon rose from the waters beside Lake Town, only half his boy emerged, his other half still below the depths of the waves. It was covered in black scales, and Kathryn could have believed that it could have been a relative of Ancalagon, but this beast had a large spike on the end of its snout, and its large serrated teeth poked down passed his lips even with his mouth closed. Its head was adorned with spike like horns that formed like a terrible crown, and eight glowing piercing eyes stared out as it looked upon the now petrified inhabitants of Lake Town. It roared, and Kathryn felt the very foundations of the town quake with its wrath. Once the roar ceased, it opened its large mouth and blasted the nearest buildings with its flames.

Kathryn was frozen for only a second as she had a horrible realisation of what this was. Could this be that dreadful night? But how?! None of this had happened on that night, what was this?! Kathryn and her Knight ran away from the dragon's flames and flying fists as it tore apart Lake Town, but they never kept it out of their sites, which Kathryn was baffled by seeing as she wanted to get far away. They ran through flames, but Kathryn felt the fire pass over her effortlessly, and she felt no pain, leaving her quite perplexed.

But then, they suddenly heard a roar that had come from something other than the black monster in the Lake, and they looked up, and Kathryn saw a very familiar sight that made her heart sing.

Smaug soared through the air, roaring at the black dragon, clearly a territorial display as he bared his teeth with hate, even though he was much smaller – a concept that Kathryn wasn't used to associating with Smaug. He landed on a few of the few buildings that were not on fire, spreading his weight evenly as he did so that he wouldn't fall through with his colossal weight. Smaug snarled at the dragon, and Kathryn thought with great hope that her beloved dragon had come inside her own mind to save her from this vision as he always did. But then, Smaug's eyes twitched, as if something was bothering him, and he craned his neck as he seemed to search for what it might be. And then his eyes landed upon her.

In the instant that their eyes met, Kathryn knew that this wasn't HER Smaug. This one didn't know her… and yet, he did. When he looked upon her, she felt that magical rush spark between them, and he looked as if some part of her soul spoke to him the way his spoke to her. But there was that look in his eyes, the kind of look one gets when they look at something unfamiliar, but it reminds of something that they can't name… But then their connection was separated as the monstrous black dragon roared at Smaug, bringing the attention of all back to it as it glared at them with eight glowing red eyes. Smaug launched himself into the sky, and flew towards the beast, passing through his flames harmlessly, as he viciously attacked at the dragon's head!

Kathryn knew with a dreadful certainty, that she couldn't allow her mate to face that creature alone, and she willingly went with her gut as it compelled her onwards to follow her Knight as they raced to find higher ground. They managed to make it to the edge of a roof that wasn't on fire, and Kathryn watched in horror as she saw the figure of Bard the Bowman fire a black arrow towards the black dragon. Flashing images of memories assaulted Kathryn's mind as she relived those terrible moments when she had watched the arrow fly through the air, where she had failed to stop it, how it plunged into Smaug's chest and she'd lost him. But then she was brought back to the present when the Dragon-monster gave a roar of pain as the arrow sank into his left breast, just as it had done to Smaug, and rivers of black, oozing blood flowed in rivers from the new wound.

Once again, Kathryn was left in throws of confusion, for if this was the night when Lake-Town had been destroyed by Smaug, when Thorin Oakenshield and his Company had come on their quest to the Lonely Mountain… if this was that night, then what was happening here? This was not how things happened last time, so what was going on?!

Before she could think further, the Knight beside her held up a talisman to his chest, and a force of blue magic rose up within him, Kathryn could practically feel the pressure of it building beside her. With a thrust of his hand, the Knight sent a spear of magic into the demon's direction, where it struck it in the wound of the Black Arrow. The Dark Dragon roared with pain, and seeing this opportunity, Smaug dove towards the creature's chest. He clawed, bit and mauled at the area around the Black Arrow, attacking furiously as he ripped huge chunks of flesh from the larger beast's chest. The Dark Dragon screamed with pain again and furiously swung his fist at Smaug. Kathryn opened her mouth to scream but no sound came out, and Smaug saw too late as the black dragon back handed him, striking him with such force that he was sent flying backwards with a grunt of pain as he crashed into Lake-Town, coming to a stop as he smashed through the wall of the Town hall.

Kathryn waited with baited breath as she fixed her eyes on that hole. She heard a groan, and finally saw Smaug's claws as he climbed out of the hole that he had made, his body looking a little worse for wear as he shook his head to clear it of the dizziness, before fixing his piercing glare upon the Dark Dragon. With a roar, Smaug launched himself back into the air and unleashed his fire upon the Giant Dragon before him. Kathryn continued to watch, her heart hammering in her chest as Smaug distracted the Dark Dragon with his flames, blinding it as he was then given the opportunity to attack at its wound. The Dark Dragon shrieked and tried to swat him away again, but then the Knight sent another bolt of magic into the wound, causing it to roar in pain and fury. It staggered, and Kathryn watched, mouth hanging agape as the Dark Dragon fell, holding its arms out to catch the buildings in an attempt to stop its fall. Smaug barely managed to fly out from underneath it in time to avoid being crushed. Its hands went straight through the buildings and wooden boards of Lake Town, and sank up to midway up its upper-arms before the landed on the Lakebed, leaving its shoulders, back, wings and head exposed and close.

Kathryn looked into the eyes of the dragon before her, and all she saw was murderous hate and maddening desire for the kill. She had seen that look before, in a face she loved, and she never wanted to see it again! That look was now directed at her, at Smaug, at the world, and Kathryn felt a sense of anger well up inside her as she felt a protective urge swell up inside of her. Before she could think on what she was doing, Kathryn raised her new talisman to her breast and poured all of her magic into it, almost draining herself to dangerous levels, knowing that should she drain too much it might kill her, but she didn't care, only fuelled by this knowledge that should she do this then it might just work. Once most of her magic was drained from her, a blue-green aura of light swept out from her, and she held her sword in both hands as she sprinted to the roof's edge.

She leapt off of the roof, time seeming to be suspended as she flew through the air, holding her sword high above her head, the tip pointing down as she came at the dragon's face. The Dark Dragon looked at her in time for her to drive her sword into the spike on its chin, where Kathryn knew that on this section of the face, as well as between the nostrils, were sensitive pours, some that would cause a lot of pain as she ripped her sword through it. The dragon whipped its head up, roaring in agony as blood spurted from the wound she opened, flinging Kathryn away as her hands slipped from her sword. She landed heavily with a cry of pain on the wooden planks of the town, and quickly rolled to one knee as she tiredly looked up at the Dark Dragon as it continued to roar, blood pouring from it as it's struggles slowly began to weaken, until finally it stopped and collapsed into the wood and water of the shattered town.

Kathryn slowly picked up her sword from where it fell, feeling a sense of accomplishment enter her, but also a sense of wonder and loss as she looked at the dragon's dead body. She looked at the skies, searching for Smaug, but she could not see him. Finally her eyes rested on the Knight on the roof, their eyes meeting briefly, before the world around her melted away and once again Kathryn was thrown into the vortex of images and sounds.

It all whirled around her, and once again Kathryn was assaulted by different images that suddenly flashed before her eyes but were gone again just as fast before she could take them in.

A figure in the shadows with long insect like fingers –

A City burning in flames –

A figure of grey melting into white –

The longer it continued, Kathryn felt a sense of pressure build up inside of her, until she felt her bones creak with the force, her body felt as if it were on fire as her veins burned, her flesh beginning to disintegrate as the power became too much for her to contain. But still the images continued to assault her vision, each more disturbing than the last.

Bodies of people she knew strewn across the floor, their corpses ripped open, their blood forming a lake around them –

Smaug's leering face , his eyes bright with a mad fever, blood dripping from his teeth as he came close to her –

A chorus of dragon's circled the sky, their wings engulfing the sun and turning the world black in their shadow –

A golden ring sailing through the air, twisting and turning, a shrill metallic song emanating from it –

An eye wreathed in flames –

Kathryn sat bolt upright with a cry of fear, her body heaving as if she had just run three miles, her forehead and back drenched in sweat, her eyes darting around the large room as her vision tried to focus. It took her a good solid three minutes to calm herself and recognise that she was in familiar and safe settings. She was in the fortress, she was home, she was safe; everything was fine.

A quick look towards the tunnel that lead to the exit a few floors above, and Kathryn could see a few small shards of light filtering through. Her body clock confirming that it was perhaps early in the morning, perhaps not long after dawn. Smaug was no beside her, and Kathryn could only conclude that he was out either hunting or patrolling. He had been doing that a lot over the past week. Ever since a week ago when Smaug had rather surprisingly gotten over their little spat over his gold which had led to some rather… enjoyable activities, Smaug had become more like a jailer then a mate. Kathryn almost had to stop herself as to why the only way she could describe what was now between her and Smaug was to call them by what his species might refer to it. Smaug had been patrolling the borders of their home two and sometimes three times a day, he would not hear of Kathryn going outside, not even with him, and at the slightest noise he was on alert and ready to kill. It was becoming rather concerning.

But, seeing as he was out again, Kathryn thought this the perfect time to do as she wished without him trying to stop her.

Her dream, or rather vision, had left Kathryn rather perplexed with an insatiable need to know what was going on. As she stood though, Kathryn felt a wave of dizziness sweep through her, and she had to brace her hand on a nearby wall as she held a palm to her aching skull. But she hissed at the contact, and looked down to see that the inside of one of her arms was… burned! Kathryn stared in horror to see that her usually smooth and pale flesh was marred with a fresh twisting burn that made her skin pink and puckered, as if she had only just stuck her arm into a smith's coals. Her stomach threatened to make her retch up her last meal, as Kathryn remembered the burning sensation she had felt when she had been bombarded with images.

She had to push her mind away from such thoughts, or Kathryn feared that she might collapse into a crying, puking, shaking mess as the implications of what that meant dawned on her. She quickly looked at what remained of her clothes, tattered rags that hung to her frame and barely covered her. She ripped a chunk off of the hem and quickly tied it around the burn on her arm in a hope for a quick make-shift bandage. She gritted her teeth against the pain but it helped to protect her. Satisfied, Kathryn soon made her way towards the upper reaches of the fortress.

Kathryn knew that a keep this size had to have something akin to a library. Even if all it had was scrolls, there had to be SOMETHING here. She doubted very much what she was looking for was here, but even a mention would be enough for her. As she passed through the lower halls, she found a stream that flowed quite quickly out into the outside world.

She eventually found it, as she climbed up to the main body of the keep, towards the tower at the top. A small room filled with scrolls and only the odd huge leather book bound by strings to keep the pages together. The room stank of stale air and dust, and many of the ink on the scrolls had faded or were so moth eaten that they literally fell apart. Only some were still eligible to be counted as actual reading material.

And then it didn't help that it was all written in Elvish.

Kathryn felt her heart sink as she went through scroll after scroll, rare book after rare book, and each one was written in Elvish. Groaning, Kathryn then had to literally sit and skim through the texts in an attempt to try and see if she recognised any words or struck a word that sounded familiar, before tossing it on to the floor around her. She sat there for hours going through them all. For such a small room, she was actually surprised at how many rows of scrolls and piles of books could be hidden in its depths. But then, she hit upon one book that looked promising, its pages stained and dog eared and torn from the years of wasting away in this dusty room. But whilst flipping through the pages, Kathryn had to blink hard as she nearly mentally tripped over herself as she thought she saw a word that looked familiar. Frantically flipping back to the page where she had seen the word, Kathryn's eyes widened as she beheld the word that she was looking for.

Olórë Mallë.

And sure enough, next to the page that she supposed would be a description of it, Kathryn saw an illustration of what she had seen in her vision. A path leading to a beautiful garden, closed off by a gate that shone with its own light. Kathryn stared in awe at the page, as if she could make the words make sense to her the longer she stared. And then a thought occurred to her: could Smaug read this? Smaug was very knowledgeable, and made his pride to be able to do anything a mortal could do intellectually, so she couldn't see why he wouldn't know. But then again, would he consider it beneath him, as if the language of mortals was not worthy of him. Why must everything be a puzzle, a contradiction with him?!

Speak of the devil, Kathryn thought as she suddenly heard the huge thunder of wing beats from outside the fortress as she heard Smaug approach, and not a few seconds later, she felt the Keep shake as he landed, his full weight slamming on the bridge outside. Kathryn careful picked herself up, taking her book with her as she kept her finger on her page, and made her way back down towards the room. She heard Smaug making his way down to their "den", and she could have counted down on one hand until she knew when he would discover her missing.

And in… 4… 3… 2… 1…

"KATHRYN?!" she heard Smaug's voice boom out through the keep, making the very walls around her shake with the force of his outrage, desperation, and hidden concern that she still heard in his voice. She rolled her eyes; this was rather sweet (in a twisted way), but this overprotective streak was really becoming a little too much.

"Coming!" she shouted out as loud as she could. She knew he had heard her, and as she continued to make her way down narrow steps towards the entrance hall, she felt the fortress shake with each of his footsteps as he came towards the sound of her voice. As she came into the entrance hall, she was immediately greet by the sight of Smaug gigantic face at her level, his eyes bright with anger that swirled in their depths like fire. His lips were twisted into a cruel curl, the edges of his teeth poking through as a soft growl escaped him.

"Why are you absent from the Chamber?!" he demanded in a quietly furious tone, and Kathryn took that as an indication as to how mad he was, though she didn't know why he had to be so upset.

"I was in the library," she said simply. "You were out, so I decided to occupy myself,"

"I didn't know where you were," he growled out between gritted teeth.

"I didn't know I was under curfew," she responded dryly, trying to walk past him, but was stopped when he stamped his foreleg right in her path. She squeaked in surprise and looked back at his furious face with a spark of her own anger but also a slight fear, his face in her dream coming back to her mind.

"Don't test me Kathryn," he warned, his eyes holding her in that gaze that could melt iron if he tried.

"This is my home as well Smaug," Kathryn countered, though her voice was a little softer than his, for she didn't want to make him even angrier with her. "You cannot keep me a prisoner here,"

"If that is what it takes to keep you safe, then yes, I will do it." he snapped impatiently.

"Smaug," Kathryn stressed his name as she pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling a headache forming in the forefront of her mind. "We are out in the middle of a labyrinth, in a fortress that no one can get to; I think we are pretty well secluded. And, if all else fails," she lightened her tone in an attempt to placate him as she reached out to place a hand on his foreleg. "I have faith that you can keep us safe. Do you not?"

He grumbled something under his breath, not audible enough for her to make out, the only sign of his withdrawal from the argument. For now. He would be only hurting his pride by admitting if he doubted himself, and he knew it, Kathryn had chosen her words well. Grumpily curling his lip, he snatched her up in on clawed hand, earning him a yelp of surprise from the woman, before he took them both down towards the lower halls.

Once down within their large central chamber, Smaug carefully placed Kathryn down and placed his arm behind her, settling himself down and curling his tail around the both of them, shuffling his wings on his back in order to get comfortable. He then stretched his long neck in order to cast his eye over the two mounds of gold coins that was piled in the corner beside the broken carriages that Smaug had used for buckets to bring it back. His eyes quickly assessed that not a single piece was out of place – as Kathryn hadn't touched it and in fact not gone near it – he settled himself back down as if to rest.

"You do realise that it is the middle of the day?" Kathryn asked him.

"And your point is?" he grumbled out as he still lay with his eyes closed.

"You are trying to sleep… in the middle of the day."

"Your grasp at the obvious is surprising," he mumbled. Kathryn just scowled at him and opened her book to her current page.

"Smaug, can you read Elvish?" she asked a little cautiously, not knowing whether she would offend him or not. One of Smaug's eyes opened to regard her.

"What kind of question is that?" he asked irritably.

"Well…" Kathryn tried for an explanation as she flustered with embarrassment. "It's just that I don't read Elvish… and I was wondering if one such as yourself would know it,"

"Of course," Smaug snorted. "The Mortals' tongue is of no difficulty to speak or read. It is a simple muttering trying to sound eloquent and appealing. There is nothing complex about it. Now, if they tried to speak in my native tongue…" he chuckled to himself at the thought. "Now that would be something worth noting."

"Dragons have their own language?" Kathryn asked, her eyes wide with interest.

"Of sorts," Smaug muttered. "But you couldn't possibly pronounce it with your little tongue," he added smugly. Kathryn rolled her eyes, but a smile hinted at the corners of her mouth. But then Smaug looked at her, remembering the matter at hand. "And why would you ask if I should speak such a garble of syllables?"

"I was wondering… if you could… translate something for me?" Kathryn asked awkwardly, hiding her blush behind her hair as she ducked behind a curtain of her red curls.

"And what is it you need translating?" Smaug asked, and she could hear the slight suspicion in his tone.

"Just a page of a book," she purposefully replied vaguely.

"Oh? And what significance does this page have?" he asked, leaning in to her so that he might force her to look at him.

"Nothing," she said automatically.

"Liar." He growled out quietly, and Kathryn bit her lip to hold in her anger. She had done that to herself, she admitted, no reason to start an argument with him over something that was her own fault.

"It's about something that I saw in my dream," she admitted quietly.

Smaug was quiet for a moment as he took in this knew information, his eyes studying her thoughtfully. Finally he sighed, a soft and oddly comforting rumble rising up his throat.

"Show me," he said in a softer tone.

Kathryn quickly held up the book on the page for him to read, and she watched in quiet fascination as she saw his eyes dart back and forth across the page as he read the tiny words on the old parchment. Finally he raised his head, eyes travelling the ceiling and his lips muttering as he thought to himself on how best to translate the text. Kathryn waited eagerly for the dragon to respond. It didn't take him long.

"The text is of the Olórë Mallë, also known as the Path of Dreams," he said. "Your Valar Lord Irmo (or Lorien as he was also known), created it. After the War of Wrath, Morgoth was sealed behind the Door of Night and the Valar sailed west, and Irmo, your god of Dreams and Visions, created the Path of Dreams, which was a place beyond the mortal realm which connected Middle-earth and all realities to Valinor through the dream – or so your little book claims."

Kathryn sat there, quietly drinking in all of this information. Had that been what she'd seen, the Path of Dreams? But why did Irmo (as she could only assume it to be him) guide her to touch the gate? And then another thought struck her mind as she thought on what Smaug had said: it connected Middle-Earth and all realities. Thinking about her vision of Lake-Town, Kathryn wondered… had that been a figment of her imagination or a separate reality? Again, the implications of her powers dawned on her, and Kathryn felt her stomach churn as she remembered her newly burned arm, her fingers straying to slide over the makeshift bandages absentmindedly. Sensing that her mind was in turmoil, Smaug nudged her with his snout, which of course was more like a shove from a creature as big as he was, and Kathryn was knocked to the ground from where she sat. Smaug hovered his head over her body, hard eyes studying her.

"What troubles you, Kathryn?" he asked her in a deep rumble, his eyes never leaving hers.

"What… what would it mean if I saw the Path of Dreams?" Kathryn asked hesitantly, a phantom pain scoring along the burns on her arm as she looked up at him.

"Hmmm…" Smaug thought for a moment, his eyes dancing in his head, brows knitting with concentration, though he never moved his large reptilian head away from her. "I have heard whispers that the Seers of old once used to hold Irmo – or Lorien, whichever you wish to use! – as their patron, the symbol of their power. He being the supposed lord of dreams and visions, it is rather obvious of them to make that connection. Apparently he granted them their visions and furthered their powers under his guidance. Whether that is true or not, I rather doubt." Smaug added in a bitter undertone. "But you saw this Path of Dreams?"

"Yes," Kathryn breathed. "I-I touched it, and it filled me with energy, and then I saw… so many things…"

"Whether this may be an invention of your imagination or not, remains to be seen." Smaug murmured thoughtfully to himself, a claw tapping the stone floor as he pondered. "However, it should stand to reason, that if your spirit travelled the Olórë Mallë, you would have seen a significant boost to your power,"

"And how am I supposed to stop this?" Kathryn asked him imploringly.

"You do not wish to further your abilities?" Smaug cocked his head at her, seemingly genuinely confused as to why she should pass at such an offer.

"Of course I don't! Smaug, I can barely control myself as it is, I don't even know what half my powers imply… I have never wanted them! To add more to that power… I couldn't… I don't even want to think about it!" she turned her eyes away from him, burying her face in her hands as she tried to fight the returning headache that pounded through her skull. "I once killed a man because I couldn't control myself with what I have now. My powers have come close to killing me already, they've hurt me on several occasions, I… I don't want to live in fear of myself. I just want to feel safe," she whispered.

For the longest time they sat there in silence, Kathryn trying to make sense of the jumble of emotions that swirled like a hurricane inside of her, and Smaug just watched her, his own thoughts far away as he studied the mortal woman before him. Kathryn felt tired down to her bones, and for the first time, she felt old, as if she should be an old crone shambling about with a cane supporting her, practically on her death-bed. And considering how old she was really, perhaps she should be that way, but it felt strange to suddenly feel a drop in herself, as if someone had physically drained her of all energy and vitality, and she felt old and sick in that cold stone fortress.

But then, she felt something brush against her back, and suddenly looked around to see Smaug's long tail curling around her, bracing against her back and going underneath her knees and curling back in a loop around her other side. He curled his tail until she was sitting atop his coils, and he brought his head right beside her, lying upon the ground. Lifting his tail abruptly, Smaug deposited the human onto his face, earning him a shriek of surprise as she was suddenly thrown from her perch and draped across his snout. She leaned up to look into one of his fiery eyes, and saw the slight twinkle of mischief, but also a soothing fire, like a warm hearth on a cold winter's night, glowing softly and offering a warmth to banish any cold.

"Was it not you who told me not an hour ago that you had absolute faith that I could keep you safe?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow and chuckling darkly to himself. Kathryn couldn't help her lips twitching into a smile as she readjusted herself s that she was more comfortable: with her head nestled between Smaug's brows, and able to lean her head slightly to look into one of his eyes. When she settled, she heard Smaug exhale slowly through his nostrils, his eyes dimming as if he were tired as he seemed to completely relax. "Fear not, My Kathryn," he murmured to her, and Kathryn felt the vibrations of his voice through his body beneath her, the power of I making her shiver as he spoke her name that way. "I guided you once, I shall do so again. Nothing will harm you whilst I breathe; not magic, not death, not even yourself. A dragon never loses faith in himself, and you are mine, so you should not either."

Kathryn had to smile to herself at his self-assurance, his arrogant ways that couldn't help but make her chuckle quietly. And there they stayed for the longest of time, just content in each other's company.

Until Kathryn felt a sudden familiar tightening below her navel.

Leaping off of Smaug, Kathryn raced across the room, frantically picking up an old tapestry and using all the strength she had to rip it into rags. When she was satisfied, she quickly began to deal with herself.

Back across the room, Smaug was watching her with intense confusion, where had this come from? She hadn't done anything like this since he had been with her back in the Mountain for almost a year, when she…

Smaug froze in place, before he quickly took in a scent in the air: blood.

The dragon roared in frustration, making Kathryn jump and spin to see him bearing down upon her, eyes blazing with rage and demanding answers to unspoken questions.

"How is this possible?!" he thundered.

"S-Smaug," Ktahryn stuttered, clearly shaken by the sudden mood swing. "It's alright, everything's fine, it's just my –"

"I know what it is!" he thundered angrily. "Do not think I am simple! But I cannot understand why! We mated, on several occasions! Surely you should be –"

"Smaug," Kathryn said in a soft yet stern voice as she looked at him fully. "With humans, not every sexual encounter leads to instant pregnancy. I have heard that even if a child is conceived it could not settle and therefore the pregnancy fails –"

"It was not supposed to!" he snarled, suddenly getting up and starting to pace back and forth, talons scraping against the stone until sparks shone.

"Not supposed to…" Kathryn murmured in confusion as she watched him with a sense of growing dread.

"I was a fool," the dragon muttered to himself, seemingly oblivious to the woman beside him, as if she were not there and he were talking to himself. "I knew it wouldn't take! Are human bodies so incompetent that they cannot even hold onto a spark of life?! I should have waited until the peak, at least then –"

"Waited until my peak?" Kathryn repeated, ignoring the barbed insult that stung her; eyes going wide as she shook her head as she took an unsteady step forward. "Wait! Stop! Smaug! Did you…" she paused, not wanting to believe as she looked up at him imploringly, beginning for the truth that dawned on her to not be true. "Did you try to…"

"And what if I did?" he snapped irritably, turning his blazing eyes upon her.

And then it all made sense to her. The sudden over-the-top overprotective streak, the need to keep patrolling, his current upset at her moon-cycle, it all made sense. She knew what he had done in those unforgiving eyes that brokered no apology, and in that moment, Kathryn felt every wall around her come crashing down, and something sweep inside that she could not fight, and welcomed whole-heartedly: Rage. It blinded her to all else as she stood there, thinking through the implications, trying to find a reason as to why Smaug would do this, but the more she thought about it, the angrier she became. And then it was as if her rage unlocked the gates within her, and like back in Vathvael, Kathryn felt her anger fuel the magic inside of her, the energy filling her up to the point where she thought she would burst.

And she had a perfect outlet.

With a scream, Kathryn shot her arms out, and a sudden Shockwave released from her in all directions as she allowed the magic to be unleashed from within her, not caring what happened with it. The shock wave hit Smaug, causing him to hiss with both slight pain and surprise as he was staggered by the force of the blow, causing his legs to wobble. He snapped his gaze upon the human, his own anger igniting once again.

"Kathryn!" he barked, baring his teeth at her.

Kathryn marvelled to herself as she felt herself being pressed with more energy than before. Usually whenever she released her magic in such a way, she was left feeling drained and exhausted, it actually took physical energy from her. But now… her anger was so great at that moment, she felt it fuelling her to such a degree that she felt ready to blast him again. It was good, for Kathryn felt such a rage, the likes of which she had never experienced before, and it felt good… but it also hurt her. She let out another blast, this one more painful to release then before, as if her insides wanted to be pulled with the wave of magic to the outside. It hit the dragon again, causing him to snarl viciously as he stood against it stubbornly.

"Enough of this!" he roared, lashing his tail as he tried to snatch her up into his claws. But Kathryn ducked away from him, narrowly avoiding his grip as she glared at him with seething eyes.

"No! You tried to impregnate me, you treacherous lizard!" she screeched, forcing all of her concentration to try and aim the next blast at Smaug's chest. It went as she bid, causing Smaug to yelp in surprise as he had to dodge around it, where it impacted the wall behind him with an explosion of rock shavings and dust that rained into the room. But the pain brought Kathryn to her knees as she felt temporarily exhausted, but still the energy filled her to the point where she felt her bones protesting to contain it inside of her. Why couldn't it go away?

For Smaug's part he didn't know whether she was attempting to beat him out of rage or due to her hormones from her moon cycle. He didn't know which would be worse.

"Had I known you would throw a tantrum over that fact, I might have reconsidered," he muttered coldly and condescendingly as he came to stand dominatingly above her, leaning his face towards her slumped form.

"TANTRUM?!" she hissed as she fixed him with eyes that Smaug was astonished to see were glowing a brilliant purple. "I'm FURIOUS! You planned this! Without telling me, without discussing it with me first!" she stood to face him, no fear in her at all as she looked as if she would strike him with her bare hands. "This is MY body! I am not a bitch for you to breed!"

"Have I not told you on several occasions that you are mine to do with as I please?" the words were out of his mouth before he could have time to rethink them. And considering what happened next, perhaps he should have done.

Kathryn screamed, the sound so loud and high pitched that Smaug felt his ears protest against the assaulting noise. But then, Kathryn launched herself at him, her eyes flashing a brilliant purple as she brought her hand in a swipe to strike at his face –

Smaug hissed as a sudden pain flashed across his snout, and he reared back, shaking his head as the pain became far more then what he was ever expecting. Looking down his nose, Smaug was astonished to see four tiny claw marks upon the side of his snout. His eyes snapped back to Kathryn, and she too seemed to be in shock at what she had done, and her eyes slowly sank to look at her hands.

Her breath froze in her throat with horror, as she saw that her hands were malformed! Long black talons replaced where her fingernails had been, and along her hands and wrists she saw that golden yellow lumps were poking out from beneath her skin, stretching it to the point where some scales were poking through and making her bleed. Scales. Talons… Kathryn felt as if she couldn't breathe with horror, staring at the alien hands that were not hers. She hissed as she felt a burning sensation, at her chest, and looked to see her Scale-necklace softly glowing and burning hot to the touch. As she touched the hot scale, Kathryn gasped as she felt another wave of magic crash through her, ripping her body with pain as she doubled over and sank to all fours.

Panic swept through her, the whole world tuning out as she tried to focus on repressing the magic that generated inside of her, striking her with its electrical blasts until she was whimpering and crying out with each hit. She saw small droplets of crimson blood patter onto the floor from where she could feel it running from her nose, she could taste its metallic bite on her tongue. She almost cried out again when a stronger wave swept through her, knocking her strength out and sending her face first to the floor, where she lost consciousness.

She came back only a few seconds later, or what seemed like a few seconds. As the darkness slowly faded away, the image of Smaug's head came into focus, his eyes bright as his gaze scanned her body, his nostrils twitching as he took in her scent. Kathryn groaned as she rolled onto her stomach, and sat up, holding her head in her hands as she tried to fight back the nausea and pounding headache in her skull.

Remembering what had happened only a few moment previously, Kathryn almost panicked as she quickly held up her hands for inspection only to see them now normal, if looking a little bruised and battered. Sighing with relief, Kathryn felt as if she could faint again from the rush of exhaustion that swept through her. With weak hands she held up the scale necklace, noticing how it was now cold and no longer glowing, the magic that it had drawn somehow dispersed. Smaug had told her once that it was an anchor for her magic when he had transformed her, had it become an anchor again, hence her partial transformation?

"What happened to me?" she asked in a cold voice, ignoring how she croaked and her chest ached, she didn't even look at Smaug as she asked the question.

"I'm not entirely certain…" Smaug mused aloud. "You began a transformation without any guidance from me. Most peculiar, seeing as you are originally human, yet your body tried to become that of a dragon,"

"That is obvious," she snapped. "What I want to know is 'why' and 'how'!"

Smaug growled at her in a warning, but still Kathryn felt too angry and hurt to care, though she closed her eyes as she attempted to calm herself enough in order to not trigger her magic once again. The dragon watched her suspiciously, even whilst his mind was racing over everything he knew from his own experiences when changing forms, and bringing up all of his theories to the forefront of his mind.

"Perhaps…" he began, tapping a claw on the stone as he settled on his haunches, the constant slithering of his tail back and forth behind him was the only sign as to his now darker mood. "The science of changing from one form to another is a creation of energy. When I take upon the change, I pull upon the magic that now flows between us, its raw energy is enough to stimulate the process of transforming me,"

"But you got stuck on your first try, and I didn't complete it, so how is that possible?" Kathryn asked in a dead tone, still refusing to look him in the eye. Smaug resisted the urge to curl his lip in his impatience with her, instead choosing to answer her question and stimulate his superior intellect.

"When the change is upon me from mortal to dragon, I find it to be more taxing, more difficult, to start and to maintain." He admitted rather openly, his eyes twitching, claw tapping, tail sweeping as his thoughts churned and his emotions struggled to be kept at bay. "It is most likely the case, that one needs to create the amount of energy needed to transform the physical body into that of something else. The larger mass of a dragon, for example, is large enough that it can generate and contain the amount of energy needed. But I find it rather plausible that a human body is too small and weak to create such excess energy."

Kathryn sat silently as she took all of this in. What Smaug said was plausible and more than likely true, he was hardly ever wrong when in this kind of situation, or at least not far from the truth. He could look through every possibility, and in his long life he would know what was possible or impossible. So Kathryn trusted him when he said that this creation of energy was the cause. But how did that apply to her? Smaug said he had used the magic between them, Kathryn hadn't done that, her magic had come to her in such great supply on her demand by the use of her emotions, her rage had been so great upon realising what Smaug had done. Perhaps now that the energy was more likely to take root in her and change her, she would need to be more careful with her emotions. Becoming too out of control like she had, could spell potential disaster.

But thinking about what Smaug had done to her, Kathryn felt a shiver run through her, a sense of revulsion as she turned her back on him, bringing her knees to her chest as she felt something swell in her chest, a lump forming in her throat that threatened to choke her as her shoulders threatened to shake and tears stung her eyes. She felt hurt; hurt and betrayed. Of all the people in all the world, she thought it would be Smaug who would never use her and lie to her. Yes, he was the Dragon that everyone else feared, but Kathryn had thought he would always be upfront with her in what he wanted from her, she never imagined he'd go behind her back, especially after everything they'd been through in the last month or so. She felt as if everything they shared had been brought into question, had every kiss been a leer behind her back? Had every whispered word of assurance been something to placate her? Had every night spent wrapped in his warmth been a veil over her eyes to distract her from the truth? She felt as if her body wanted to rot away, for what if those nights where she felt as if he had wanted her, were just to see if he could use her; had he taken the only thing good she could give him, and turned it into something twisted and nasty?

All these thoughts plagued her doubts, cut her esteem and sliced at her heart, until she felt the tears running down her face, falling like the rain into her lap, her hair hiding her face as she bowed her head low. She could feel Smaug watching her, feel his eyes upon her, and she wanted to shrink away from him until she was nothing but a shrivelled ashen corpse.

"Are you well?" he asked into the heavy pressing silence that surrounded them both, one which was only punctuated by Kathryn's small breaths and the pitter-patter of her tears.

"Don't worry, Your draconic Lordship," Kathryn muttered bitterly, not bothering to hide the way her voice cracked and broke as her jaw trembled. "Your precious incubator will survive,"

"You are upset," he murmured, and Kathryn didn't respond. "You do not want my younglings?" when he asked the question, Kathryn felt her anger flare briefly as she thought that he dared to sound insulted and hurt by the implication. But then she forced the anger down, and focused on his words.

"In an ideal world, Smaug," Kathryn began, her voice a murmur so as not to let her emotions take hold of her self-control. "I would love to have children of my own… someday."

"What hinders you now?" he asked, his tone pressing, wanting answers and seemingly disregarding her obvious misery as he tried to get to the root of the problem.

"I don't want to bring children into a world that I cannot comprehend," she said simply, finally turning her tear stained face to look into Smaug's eyes unflinchingly. "Smaug, not too long ago, I was lying dead and gone and then left stewing in my own madness. I cannot control my abilities – especially if today is any indicator – I cannot even begin to imagine what half of my powers entail. I do not know who or what I am and I don't want to bring an innocent life to this world when I might not be able to be there for it. And I don't know what this child would be, would it be like me or you? It would kill me, Smaug, if my child was like me, had the powers I had, and I had to treat it the way my parents treated me, just because I'm afraid – of it, of myself – and because I don't know how to handle this!"

She then stood up, facing him fully, her heart wrenching itself apart as she beheld the creature that had started her upset, showing him the full extent of his work. The dragon watched her, his eyes taking in every inch of her with a weariness and pity that had not been there before as he matched her gaze.

"And besides," Kathryn's tone dropped as she scowled at him. "When I decide to have children of my own, I want it be because I chose to have them, that my partner and I were equal when we said that we wanted new life."

"That is a naïve belief," Smaug muttered.

"If an accident were to happen, then I would not shun the child away," she argued. "I would love it and give it the best that I could. But what disgusts me about all of this, is that you went behind my back, you took advantage of me, and you used my body against me! What if I would have died Smaug? Did it occur to you that a half-dragon might pose a potential risk to me? Or do I not matter?!"

"Is the idea of bearing my offspring so repulsive?" he bristled, showing his teeth as his eyes blazed.

"No! But I would have wanted to have had a discussion where we would have talked about all the implications so that I would know what was coming! I would have wanted the child anyway, of course I would! But I would like to know when my body is being used in such a way! And what if my body had rejected it? Are we even compatible?! Smaug, I couldn't live with myself if I had not been made known to what you'd done, believed that this was just some miracle to happen to us, and then I… what if I…" she had to force herself to say the words past the lump in her throat, the very idea making her heart ache. "What if I lost it?"

She stared at him, her eyes imploring him, begging him to listen to her words, to see the heartbreak he had caused her.

"You cannot do this to me Smaug," she whispered. "That is a betrayal of all the trust I place in you. You will not do it again, do you hear me? Not now, not ever."

"Do not presume to command me, human," he snapped, his tone betraying the hurt even he felt.

"Not now, not EVER!" Kathryn bared her own teeth at him, her eyes threatening to glow again, her tone refusing any argument.

Smaug snarled, stomping away from her as he laid himself out on the other side of the room, lip curling, smoke leaking from his nostrils, eyes glowing in his head. He snorted as he turned his face away from her, leaving himself alone to try and gather his thoughts and emotions that swirled inside of him, all the anger, hurt and frustration making it difficult for him to keep still, a constant rumbling growl vibrating through him as he lay there, blocking her out. Kathryn sadly watched him, knowing that perhaps some of her words might have not been the best to say to him, but she refused to allow this to happen again, she had meant every word she spoke. So, she carefully picked her way to the opposite side of the room, where the old dusty tapestries lay, and curled herself up within them, left to deal with her own misery.

Author's Note: Hello everyone! I'm back, and I apologise for any and all mistakes in this chapter as Fanfiction would not let me change them! D:

Now, let me explain a few things: the other reality that you saw in Kathryn's vision, was an Easter Egg to NativeAvenger's story "The Appetite for Souls", a Hobbit/Demon Soul's crossover, which actually features Kathryn in it! Please go check out that story, its really good!

Also, I noticed that A LOT of people were really excited for a baby, and whilst I must apologise as I knew this wouldn't happen, I wanted this to show that not every time you have sex means you'll get pregnant. Having said that, I want to now promise my readers that a baby WILL feature at some point in the series! So, in honour of Kokolicious, at her request, I am holding a 'competition' of sorts, as I want people to come up with names - for both boy and girl as I don't know the sex - and I want to see what are the best ones :)

Now, please review! Tell me what you thought of: Kathryn's vision of Irmo/Lorien? The other reality? Seers and The Path of Dreams? Smaug and Kathryn fluff? Kathryn not pregnant (yet)? Smaug and Kathryn's argument? Kathryn's reasons for why she doesn't want kids (yet)?

Thank you! And until next time my dragon-lovers! Oh, and here are some translations for you:

Mae govannen – Well met

Sana sina Ar' Lle nauva ele – Take this and you will see

Ta naa detholalle – It is your choice