"We are not doing two separate parties," Leia clarified quickly before either of the twins could even think of suggesting it. Party planning for Life Days already gave her a headache and she did not need to add to that. "The triplets have to share their day and so do you two. No 'buts' or there will be no party at all."
"We weren't going to ask for two parties," Jaina swore.
"Good. Because you aren't getting it."
Leia's daughter rolled her eyes. The twins sat on the corner of the table next to their mother who had taken the head. Leia was bent over a notebook with a pen between her fingers, ready to write whatever the twins suggested and Leia thought might be acceptable. Normally, planning her children's Life Day parties wasn't so tiring, but the twins had been handed the shorter stick, having their birthday come the closest after the triplets. This meant that Han and Leia were still recovering from planning a party for three children, then having to plan another for two shortly after. Leia just hoped Jaina and Jacen understood.
"Well?" She dropped her pen and turned to look at them, resting her head on her hand. "What do you guys want?"
Her son and daughter turned to each other to exchange a look of their own and Leia feared what extravagant idea they'd come up with. "We want to go to Yavin," Jacen told her meekly.
Leia actually sat up and leaned back. "Yavin? Why? What do you want to do there? You want to see Uncle Luke?"
"Well, yeah," Jacen agreed. "But there is something more-"
Jaina, who had significantly less patience than her brother, rolled her eyes, this time at him, and burst, "Stang, Jace! Mom, when will you let us finally go to the Academy?"
"Jaina, sweetie, if you guys want to go the Academy for your Life Day, we can do that! Your uncle will be thrilled. Of course, I'll have to let Aryn and Bornan know first-"
"No. Mom, we want to go the Academy. I mean, we want to attend the Academy."
That stopped Leia. It froze her. A deep chill suddenly set into her bones and she looked back to her kids, shocked, horrified. "You want to stay on Yavin. And train."
Both of the twins nodded. Leia couldn't respond. She could only stare at Jaina and Jacen in near horror. One of her worst fears was coming true.

"It's not fair! We're not little kids anymore! Even Raynar gets to go!"
"Dad, please! This is all we're asking for!"
"Why can't you at least listen to us?"
"We've been thinking about this for a while."
"Hey, hey, hey! Alright! Quiet, both of you."
Jaina and Jacen went silent at their father's command. Leia found the air to breathe a little.
"Now, what on Coruscant are you two complaining about? Didn't your mom answer you?"
"But she didn't even think about it!" Jaina objected. "She won't let us and it's not fair!"
"What's not fair about it? You asked and your other gave you an answer. What more did you want?"
Leia could sense her daughter's anger coming to a hard boil and her chest restricted with guilt.
"It's not fair! Just because Mom doesn't like the Force doesn't mean she has to punish us for it! Uncle Luke said that we could be the most powerful students at his Academy!"
"Is that what you care about?"
"No," Jaina quickly assured him, completely genuine. Her voice turned suddenly soft with a passion that Leia had recently begun seeing strengthen just behind her eyes. "I want to be a Jedi."

"Leia," Han sighed, turning to look at her.

"No!" They were sitting in bed and Leia grew herself onto her side to flip off the lamp at her side and tug the blankets up to her shoulders. "It's late, Han. Goodnight."

Han sighed again. He reached over her and flicked the light back on. "Leia, we need to talk about this."

"What is there to talk about? We went over this when Luke first set up the Academy."

"That was a long time ago. Maybe we need to talk about this again. None of the triplets have ever come up to us to talk about this. Maybe it means something that Jaina and Jacen are."

"What do you expect it to mean? I told them that they can't train at the Academy. That's it. That's what I told them and that's all that matters."

"Leia, I know you would love for them to go-"

"No, I really wouldn't."

"Because it would mean the world to your kids. You're just afraid." Han said no more, waiting for her to respond, but she didn't. She couldn't even look at him. "Yeah, I know you even better than you think. There's nothing wrong with being afraid, but you know it's not right to just deny the thought without considering it for a second."

Leia finally threw off her sheets and flipped heavily into her other side to look at her husband, her eyes alight with furious flames. "They don't understand the Force! They don't know what it's capable of! The dark side of it!"

"But they would learn under their uncle's direction. Look, Leia. Don't think I don't know what this is really about. I get it, Princess. This is about B."

Never had the mere mention of her and Han's first baby failed to make Leia wince- even after over a decade.

"This is about the miscarriage and how it happened. Leia, did you understand the Force then? Did you have any idea the capabilities of the light side or the dark? No. Because no one ever taught you. The kids want to learn. Luke will teach them- about the light. Leia, there's nothing to fear. If they learn to use the Force, we both know they're going to do amazing things with it- things that will make us proud. They'll learn about the side of the Force that heals instead of hurting. Leia, it will be absolutely nothing like what you felt. This is completely different. This is good. It's light."

It had been decided that- since Raynar would be leaving for Yavin again soon- Jaina and Jacen would leave Alderaan with Bornan who would deliver all three of them to Luke's academy.

Now, Leia was finding that it didn't even bother her anymore that two of her children wanted to be Jedi; she'd had time to get used to the idea and be excited for them. Han had assured her over and over again that their kids' experiences with the Force would be completely different than the one she'd had so long ago. Now, the hardest part was realizing how long she wouldn't see them. They'd be gone for months, so far away from home, away from their mom. Leia couldn't bear the thought. She'd needed a distraction and now she was already halfway through packing two lunches when she realized how ridiculous that was. They didn't need a packed lunch. She shook her head and finished anyway.

The kids were upstairs with Han, going through their bags one last time to be sure they had everything they would need. If they didn't go soon, they would be behind schedule. "Han!" she hollered. "The kids need to hurry!" She was quickly answered by a hard thumping as the twins came pounding down the staircase. "Hey! Over here!" She pulled them in for hugs, then grabbed their lunches. "Alright. I made your favorite sandwiches with chips and fruit. What flavor juice do you guys want?"

The twins traded a look. "Mom," Jacen said softly, "we don't need lunches."

Han nudged the kids and told them, "Take them."

"You might get hungry on the trip," Leia tried to recover. "I just thought-"

Jaina smiled and stood on her toes to kiss Leia's cheek. "Thanks, Mom."

"Of course, sweetie." She looked to Han for help but still nearly fell apart. He squeezed her shoulder and took her hand as they walked outside to where Bornan and Raynar were waiting. Jaina and Jacen fell into their mother's arms and Leia repeated, with stinging tears in her eyes, the mantra she'd been repeating to them for the last few months. "Be good, please. Listen to your uncle. Don't go wandering off. Jacen, there are a lot of different animals on Having. Not all of them are nice and cuddly. Jaina, don't mess with your uncle's X-Wing. Listen to the other Knights. Do as they instruct you. Make new friends. Practice hard. Do your best. And please comm us. Leave a comment message whenever you miss home."

"We will, Mom," Jaina promised. "We'll do all of that."

"You better. I told Uncle Luke he can send you Kowakian monkeys back home the second you put a toe out of line."

Jacen hurried for the transport ship. "We have to go, Mom!"

"Okay. I love you both!" She stole one more hug and kiss from each twin before they broke away and followed Raynar aboard the transport. The landing ramp rose and sealed shut with a hiss. She leaned into Han and he held her firm. "They'll come back to us, right?"

"Sweetheart, they want to make you proud. That's why they're running away. Do you have any idea how hard it is for them to leave?"

"Did they cry?"

"Almost as much as you."