Full Circle
Chapter 20 – Burnt Jam
AN: Hey guys first thanks for all your get well wishes I am fully recovered now. Finally! Sorry I didn't get this up on a Sunday I was planning on it but one interesting fact about me is that I am a huge Formula 1 fan (motor racing) so that was on then I decided to look at stuff for university as I am heading to a new place (Im not sure if this is the same everywhere but in the UK you can do something called a higher national diploma HND for short) so thats what I did I was so unsure over uni when I finished college 2 years ago I am now topping it up so that it is a full bachelors degree. So I decided to look at my timetable and started freaking out over it and how I have to change my work schedule (hoping that someone will switch classes with me) and basically freaking out about uni stuff dominated my afternoon haha and I forgot all about writing. This is a little bit shorter than what I have been doing lately. I am hoping to get another chapter up on Sunday. :)
'How are things going with you and Olivia?' Dr Fisher asked Fitz
'Honestly things are pretty great better than that even'
'But?'
Fitz took a moment to think about his answer
'I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop, things are pretty perfect between us at the moment, the best they have ever been. For the first time I can really see us making it all the way and that scares me because for the first time everything is working between us. Sometimes I still think I'm going to wake up and it all be a dream.'
'You're waiting for Olivia to walk away again'
Fitz sighed he needed to trust Olivia, he needed to trust that she was finally all in hasn't she proven that to him. He looked down at his feet not wanting Dr Fisher to see him.
'I had resigned myself to the fact that we would never be again. Maybe we could be friends in the distant future but everything I wanted us to be would never be but then she storms back in and I have never seen her so out of control. She was letting me see all of her and she was telling me the truth and she wanted me to know the truth about the baby and her feelings. For the first time since we started we had an honest conversation, she went away and I started to have hope again'.
'She smiles pretty much all the time, she is always near, she wants to hold my hand, she gives me kisses just because, she isn't afraid anymore of us it's like she has finally let herself believe that we can be real, she tells me she loves me and its music to my ears, I feel more connected and in love with her than ever before and yet there is the tiniest part of me that still feels like she can walk away at any moment and I hate myself for it because I know she is all in but I just can't turn that 1% off.'
'Fitz you cant beat yourself up over that tiny bit of doubt it's only natural after what you have told me about your relationship. It will take time but Olivia is proving herself to you everyday, you just have to keep letting her. Dont hold her past actions against her and it could be next week next month or even a year but that 1% will become zero.'
At OPA the team have just settled a case and Olivia is sitting in her office looking out the window, the ringing from her laptop brings her out of her thoughts of Fitz.
'Hey Tracey'
'Hi Liv well look at you looks like DC is treating you well'
'It certainly is'
'And is a certain someone in the picture' she asks knowing the answer
Olivia blushes and glances towards the window
'He sure is. It's everything. I'm even in the White House with him. All the fears I had about Fitz not wanting me that way again and just wanting to be friends was me trying to protect myself but the second I saw him for the first time I truthfully wanted everything with him'.
'How has it been this time living in the White House and how has the press not got wind of this?'
They both share a chuckle
'I have no idea it's not like I'm sneaking in or anything, we're not hiding but not announcing it either, if they find out they find out but I think maybe Abby might be working over time to put out any fires for a little bit longer. As for living back in the White House at first Fitz was hesitant, he knew what it did to us the last time and didn't want that to happen again. I love waking up to him and going to bed with him, I love having meals with him and just being able to be near him. I don't feel trapped like I used to, I still come to OPA I work on cases and then I get to go back to him. He asks me about my day and I ask him about his, we talk and laugh a lot even in the silence I feel happy'
'Last week I developed a cold with a high fever and he took care of me, he didn't go down to the oval he worked from the bed whilst looking after me and I never had that before. Even my own father would not do that when I was little'.
'Speaking of how do you feel about the news of your Father?'
'I wanted to be sad but I couldn't, I felt like the final and biggest obstacle for me and Fitz was gone. It was like this weight was lifted off my shoulders. I dont have to wonder when he decides to pop up into my life and berate me for not being good enough, for having Fitz's heart and basically not being the daughter he wanted. I realised that Rowan would never be what I wanted and I wasn't going to contact him when I came back but just knowing that he can never get to me again feels good'.
Tracey smiles at her answer she was honestly worried that her father would somehow get his claws into Olivia again.
'What about Jake?'
Olivia rolls her eyes
'He keeps sending me letters through Fitz obviously trying to get to him and make him angry or whatever he is trying to do but I haven't read any of them and I'm not sure I want to. Something's are better left in the past and I think he is one of them'.
They continue to chat until OPA get a new client Congressman Burrows who reveals that he is being blackmailed. It doesn't take the gladiators long to find the person an ex girlfriend who believes that they should still be together so she is hell bent on smearing his name and his current relationship.
After Congressman Burrows leaves and they have a plan of action they spend their time talking to each other.
'Do we think Abby will come back I kind of miss her' Quinn said
'I dont know from what she has said she is undecided whether to stay or come back'
'It would be good to have most of the gang back together hey maybe even The President could join'.
'Quinn you can call him Fitz'
She blushed and the rest of the team started laughing at her. One by one they all left until Olivia was by herself standing in her office by the window looking out to The White House. She never would have guessed 8 years later they would really be together, no hiding, no affair, just them finally able to love each other like they have always wanted.
'Ready to go Olivia'
'Yes sorry Brian'
'It's no problem'
'Before we head home is alright if I make stop first'
The smell of burn drifted through the air
'Liv' he called out
'Dont come here' she shouted but something sounded off in her voice
'Are you ok though?' concerned with how she sounded and even more so when he didn't get a reply back.
He walked into the kitchen to find it a mess with different fruits, pans and any other cutlery. He found Olivia on the floor with her head in her hands. He knelt down in front of her and put his finger under her chin making her look at him and what he saw broke his heart.
'Liv what happened?'
'You're going to think it's stupid'
'Try me'
'I was trying to make jam but I burnt it all and I felt so stupid for not even being able to make jam and then I started working myself up because I couldn't make stupid jam'
The unshed tears started to fall from her eyes which Fitz wiped away he lent in and gently kissed her lips.
'You were trying to make jam'
His voice cracking at the emotions that came from her trying to make part of their dream.
'I was trying to make Jam' she whispered
He moved to sit next to her on the floor and as soon as he made contact with the floor he pulled her into his lap.
'I'm sorry'
'What are you apologising for'
She shrugged her shoulder not really sure why she was apologising.
'Olivia Pope the love of my life I love you and the fact that you were trying to make jam is everything to me. So you burnt and ruined your first batch at it so what, if you want to try again do it, if you dont dont. I wont love you any less in fact I love you more, I never thought I would get to see you even attempt jam so this is everything to me. I love you.'
She snuggled in closer to him. She knows it's stupid to get upset over burnt jam but its part of their dream and she wants all their dreams to come true. Olivia Pope does not give up on the first try.
'I love you too and hopefully the next batch will at least be edible' they share a chuckle.
'How would you feel about a joint therapy session?' Fitz asked Olivia
He wasn't sure how she would react to the idea but it was something that Dr Fisher brought up in their session today and he liked the idea thinking it would be good for their relationship.
'I think that would be great could we perhaps video in Tracey as well on the same session?'
'I dont see why not'.
'What made you want a joint session?'
'Well I talk a lot about you and us and Dr Fisher thought it might help us going forward especially with us leaving here soon. I just want us to have the best chance possible. I dont want to lose you ever again'.
She kissed him on the lips letting them linger for a couple of extra seconds before pulling away.
'You wont. We are better than ever before and I want us to have the best chance possible too so lets set it up I'll message Tracey later see what time and date works best.'
'Olitz united' she laughed at their name he had given them
'Olitz united' leaning back in to kiss him.